HorsesAss.Org

Steve Shives: Targeted Ads should have better aim

Reign of The Felon Von Shitzenpantz:

• Jimmy Kimmel: Team Трамп accidentally texts war plans and The Dotard throws fit over portrait
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ The Pete Hegseth March ♬
• J-L Cauvin: The Dotard announces town hall in Toronto to meet “ungrateful Canadians”
• Stephen: Трамп’s Kennedy Center takeover & Kristi Noem taunts Canada & taking Greenland
• Jabari Jones: Flunky Трамп—Torture prison
• Ronny Chieng: Republicans play “war plan” semantics as more damning texts released
• Champnella: Трамп administration White House Easter egg roll ad
• Parody Project: ♫ The Big Leak—Yemen War Plans ♬
• Steve Shives: Hegseth and Трамп deflect, deny and downplay leaked war plans Signal chat
• Taylor Tomlinson: Pete Hegseth accidentally texting war plans in the group chat
• Liberal Redneck: An all-time great military blunder from Team Трамп
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ It’s Patriotic to Oppose Трамп ♬
• John D. Cundle: ♫ How Much Dumb Can One Brain Hold? ♬
• Jon Stewart: Which speech is free and which will cost you in Трамп’s America:

• LegalEagle: One firm fights; one firm forfeits
• Jimmy Kimmel: ♫ Team Трамп’s text chain disaster gets worse, “war plans” lies won’t stop & very dangerous boom mics ♬
• Melissa Murray: Quadruple whammy! Трамп hit by Musk backlash, internal leaks, judge’s ruling and damning facts
• Rachel Maddow: Courts smack down Трамп’s signature program; Americans instantly outraged over street snatchings
• Stella Magz: PSA—Don’t drink & text, Hegseth!
• Jabari Jones: J. Davenport Vance—Greenland
• Patrick Fitzgerald: ♫ Another Brick in the Wall (Part DOGE) ♬
• J-L Cauvin: The Dotard reacts to Greenland disrespecting J. Davenport Vance
• Ronny Chieng: Greenland wants to “Make America Go Away” ahead of Vance visit
• Marsh Family: ♫ I Put Up Tariffs ♬
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Sick of Трамп? Join us. ♬
• Dark Brandon: The Signal shitshow (so far)—A MAGA story
• The Atlantic: The Трамп administration accidentally texted our editor their war plans:

• Jabari Jones: Judge Bitch—Deportation hearing
• The Late Show: Download HegsBlocker today
• Steve Shives: The Felon Von Shitzenpantz whines about his Colorado portrait like the vain crybaby he is
• Champnella: Pete Hegseth presents CALL OF DUTY—GROUP TEXT
• Rachel Maddow: “Holy crap on steroids!”—Top Трамп officials exposed in shocking, sloppy military security blunder
• Jonathan Mann: ♫ Good Job, Pete ♬
• Stephen: Hegseth’s sloppy security breach & Mike Waltz, “Goldberg’s number got “sucked in” to my phone
• Jabari Jones: Flunky Трамп—Peak ridiculous
• LegalEagle: Texting war plans = Illegal
• J-L Cauvin: The Dotard reacts to Pete Hegseth’s texting disaster
• Ronny Chieng: Republicans desperately spin Yemen group chat fumble
• The Marsh Family: ♫ You Were Not Supposed to Message It Through ♬:

• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ A Song for Those Who’ve Not Heard of Dotard Трамп (a summary) ♬
• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп officials defend dumbest group text, hypocrisy runs wild & Vance disagrees with Daddy Dotard
• Stephen: Signalgate—Трамп tries to dodge explosive national security scandal & all of them should be fired
• Lauren Mayer: ♫ The Signal-phone Hour ♬
• Rachel Maddow: Sen. Duckworth rips Pete Hegseth & calls for his resignation over group chat scandal
• The Late Show: ♫ Creed weighs in on Mike Waltz’s Signal scandal ♬
• Christopher Titus: Whiskey Leaks Signal chat
• Jen Psaki: Трамп scrambles as leak defense crumbles, damning revelations drop & MAGA allies squirm
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ The F. Трамп Polka ♬
• Patrick Fitzgerald: ♫ How’d He Get in the Chat? ♬:

• Stella Magz: The Felon Von Shitzenpantz cries foul over portrait
• Desi Lydic FAUXsplains the Yemen War Plan Group chat
• Parody Project: ♫ Fucking Civics Test ♬
• The Other brother: ♫ Michael Waltz Will Walk the Plank ♬
• Hitler Rants Parodies: Hitler is informed about the Signal leak
• Jimmy Kimmel: The Felon Von Shitzenpantz cries WITCH HUNT over text scandal fallout and wants compensation for J6 rioters
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: Signal, the board game
• Stephen: Blame Mike Waltz & Трамп team’s sloppy digital footprints & the fertilization President
• Rachel Maddow: “This is shameful.” Трамп sows animosity and mistrust abroad, degrading Americans in the process
• Jabari Jones: Flunky Трамп—Corruption
• Patrick Fitzgerald: ♫ Project 2025 ♬
• The Late Show: White House Easter egg roll sponsors
• Jabari Jones: President Musk—Triple death penalty
• Chris Distefano finds a solution for Трамп tariffs, Canada & even DOGE

Roll Call: Congressional hits and misses of the week

Bucket Full of Other Deplorables:

• ScaredKetchup: AI Lauren Boebert PREGNANT? Who’s the Daddy?
• Bill Maher: Трамп devotion syndrome
• Ronny Chieng: Elon Musk & billionaires flood the zone in Wisconsin Supreme Court race
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Song of the Vison (and other unAmerican weasels) ♬
• Steve Shives: Teacher snaps on Трамп-appeasing principal

Steve Shives: This is a “No Quit” workplace

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Oh my God. Joe Kent. Joe Kent. Joe Goddam Kent. Unconfirmed, but still on the group chat. You know, in case you were wondering if the Proud Boys or other white supremacists had a representative in the planning of the strikes in Yemen.

Joe Kent. It’s bad enough that fucko was nominated, but until he’s confirmed, or goes through the proper channels to become acting, keep his ass off the chat. “has been the acting chief of staff to national intelligence director
Tulsi Gabbard, according to three sources, but his role has not been
publicly announced” is not a goddam title.

The group chat on a private app is ridiculous and dangerous on its own. The group chat with random people accidentally added is worse. The group chat with Joe Kent intentionally added is even worse.

Good morning!

– The Senate is doing some bad stuff with e-bike and bus taxes. Transportation Choices has a petition you can sign.

– Free Lelo. Totally outrageous. Free Lewelyn Dixon. Disgusting.

– Presumably this story about Oregon water is also true of Washington.

Please join us this evening as the Seattle Chapter of Drinking Liberally gathers for a feast of politics under the influence.

We meet tonight and every Tuesday at the Roanoke Park Place Tavern, 2409 10th Ave E, Seattle. You’ll find us in the back room of the pub. We start at 8:00pm.

Chapters of Living Liberally are all over the place…if you can’t make it to the Seattle chapter, stop by another chapter near you.

The creeps the mayor’s office attracts. Just awful. I missed the original Stranger reporting mentioned above and I’m glad he’s gone. So there’s no specific call to action other than don’t let this happen in the future.

Lewis Black asks airlines to fix their shit amid recent catastrophes

Mother Jones: How conservatives laid the groundwork for progressives’ Target boycott

The Reign of The Felon Von Shitzenpantz:

• J-L Cauvin: lEon Musk BEGGING people to stop destroying Teslas
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Трамп’s NEW “Department of Stupidity” ♬
• Steve Shives: The Felon Von Shitzenpantz isn’t America’s first autocratic President
• Jordan Klepper: Трамп defies court order, deports migrants, and still finds time to trash Biden
• LegalEagle: Deported with no evidence & no hearing; defying a court order
• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп dismantles Dept. of Education, JD Vance is mad at Jimmy & MAGA gang upset over Tesla protests
• Tommy Campbell: Трамп says Canada is NASTY
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Трамп: The Fertilizer Fastidious Farmers Favor ♬
• Sandy and Richard Riccardi: ♫ Kiss My Rump, Dotard Трамп (2025) ♬:

• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп getting played by Putin, wants to host Kennedy Center honors & his ass kisser of the week
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: The Ten Donmandments
• Jordan Klepper: GOP pumps Tesla as Трамп admin flubs JFK file release & DEI scrubbing
• Jabari Jones: Flunky Трамп—Civil disobedience
• Stella Magz: The Felon Von Shitzenpantz declares War On Autopen
• LegalEagle: Columbia student deported for protesting
• Jabari Jones: President Musk is a FRAUD!
• Patrick Fitzgerald: ♫ Muskrat Love ♬:

• ScaredKetchup: ♫ AI lEon Musk sings: “King of the Dorks” w/ Трамп on guitar ♬
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ God Save King Трамп! (A new national anthem) ♬
• Ari Melber: Трамп losing in court as AOC dunks, voters revolt, markets slide, Tesla crashes
• J-L Cauvin: The Dotard demands the boom mic apologize
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ The Steven Cheung Song (Трамп’s Director of Deceit) ♬
• MRIIA AI: ♫ This is Трампerica ♬
• Ali Velshi: “The federal courts refuse to be intimidated”—Трамп attorneys read the riot act by federal judge
• Parody Project: ♫ Art of the Steal ♬:

• Patrick Fitzgerald: ♫ Donny Boy ♬
• Steve Shives: Right-Wing news reports on Трамп renaming Justice Department
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Roller Derby Coming to Kennedy Center! ♬
• Puppet Regime: Трамп demands Putin sign ceasefire
• Stella Magz: We don’t need no education—Трамп
• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп brags about golf win during deadly storms, gets hit with microphone & claims Biden pardons are void
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: Трамп “wins” the mini golf Masters
• Tommy Campbell: Трамп threatens EU tariffs & crowd HECKLES JD Vance

Robert Reich: 2025 is a major election year—VOTE!

John Oliver: Sports betting

The Deplorable Squad:

• Patrick Fitzgerald: ♫ Free Fallin’ (Tesla, that is) ♬
• Steve Shives: Grift of the MAGA
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Stephen Miller’s “Song of Psychopathic Sycophancy” ♬
• Jimmy Kimmel: MAGA nuts want Felon Трамп on Mount Rushmore, JFK files get disorganized release & Musk wants sympathy
• Steve Shives: Musk being a pronatalist weirdo again
• JoJoFromJerz: Auto pen nonsense
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ They’re Booing J.D. Vance ♬

Michael Kosta: Survive the apocalypse in luxury at this doomsday prepper ranch

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

– Give up your Tesla. And if you don’t have a Tesla, you can give up any car. I gave up a gas-electric hybrid a couple years ago and I don’t miss it.

– Eastern Washington’s Representative Baumgartner’s town hall making national news, and snark.

– Stop covering for abusers, Mayor Harrell.

– Today is a good day to contact your legislator or member of Congress.

– I am generally opposed to Euclidean zoning so I am fine with more residential properties in SoDo. It’s much less important than density where there are mostly single family lots now, but it’s…fine.

– Congratulations to the people at Representative Baumgartner’s town hall.

– A handy list of ways Washington State is challenging the Trump Administration in court.

– Bail bond agents should not send people to immigration enforcement.

– Seattle PreK is still a thing, and your kiddos may be eligible.

– Great news! You can call or email your legislator or member of Congress.

The Seattle Chapter of Drinking Liberally meets tonight to discuss politics and whatnot over a drink. Please stop by if you can.

We meet tonight and every Tuesday at the Roanoke Park Place Tavern, 2409 10th Ave E, Seattle. You’ll find us in the back room of the pub. We start at 8:00pm.

Chapters of Living Liberally are all over the place…if you can’t make it to the Seattle chapter, stop by another chapter near you.

Should I have realized that it was time to write this before it was a few stops away. My apologies?

But don’t worry. There’s still time to write your legislators and members of Congress.

Should I have realized that it was time to write this before it was a few stops away. My apologies?

But don’t worry. There’s still time to write your legislators and members of Congress.

Desi Lydic: Hist-Her-y of Bras, Female Veterans & Childbirth

The Reign of The Felon Von Shitzenpantz:

• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Трамп—The King (of da masses) ♬
• Stella Magz: On this episode of “Trade Wars”
• Parody Project: ♫ DOGE spells DODGY ♬
• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп spins after Musk & Rubio blowup & Pentagon’s war on woke
• LegalEagle: US Attorney Ed Martin Suuuuuuucks
• Bill Maher: Economic Ozempic
• ScaredKetchup: Project 2025, The Series 3.5—The End of the World?
• Rachel Maddow: Outrage and exposure halts Трамп’s plans for Social Security service cuts
• Jabari Jones: Flunky Трамп—Five things
• Hitler Rants Parodies: Hitler heckles The Dotard
• Jonathan Mann: Mahmoud Kahlil:

• Stephen: Beer will cost more under “chaotic” tariffs & Трамп says Khalil detention is the first of many to come
• mazlinithegreat: ♫ Hell-Bound ♬
• John Oliver: ICE Detention
• Seth Meyers: Trump shills for Tesla at White House as sales plummet & Musk loses billions
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: Li’l Doatard’s Auto Mart
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Have you listened to Трамп speak ♬
• Jimmy Kimmel: Trump Starts Trade Wars with Our Allies, Musk Empties Pockets for MAGA & Stocks Keep Dipping
• Founders Sing: ♫ Star Mangled Banner ♬
• Jabari Jones: President Musk—Woke MAGA
• Stephen: Трамп tanks stocks, exhausts Wall Street & erasing “women” from the internet
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ The New Трамп Canadian Anthem ♬
• LegalEagle: SCOTUS rules against Трамп and saves USAID (for now)
• Lauren Mayer: ♫ Oy, Canada! ♬
• Adam Conover: Трамп hates science:

• New York Times: They were the original DOGE. Then Трамп fired them
• Jabari Jones: JD Vance memes
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: ♫ Don’t Worry ♬
• Stella Magz: PSA—KEEP FIGHTING!
• The Daily Show: The heil-lights and lowpoints of lEon Musk in the White House
• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп shamelessly shills for Tesla, hurls more tariffs at Canada & stock market suffers bigly
• SNL Weekend Update: Трамп causes tariff confusion
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ A Song for Every Day of Трамп’s Presidency ♬
• Stephen: Au revoir, Champagne & EPA is abandoning the environment & vandalizing Teslas
• LegalEagle: They’re fabricating criminal prosecutions now
• Seth Meyers: Трамп won’t rule out recession as markets plunge and Musk and Rubio clash in White House
• Tommy Campbell: Трамп Press Sec LOSES ‘insulting’ tariff quiz with reporter
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Трамп—Striving to Distract from his Incompetence ♬
• Liberal Redneck: On the stock market and Tesla starting to crash out
• ScaredKetchup: Does Robot Трамп dream of electric goats?
• Ari Melber: Analyzing Трамп’s losing strategies
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: Little Rascals “Cabinet meeting”
• Steve Shives: Трамп’s Russian handler
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ A Humble Request of The Dotard Трамп ♬
• Parody Project: ♫ We Poisoned the Fountain of Youth ♬:

• Tommy Campbell: Donald Трамп backpedals on tariffs, fights Canada over wood
• Stella Magz: A used car salesman-in-chief
• Alba Nuadh: We Will Survive! The orange buffoon will not
• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп shames Ireland at White House meeting, lEon’s charisma bubbles over & MyPillow Mike vs FedEx
• Steve Shives: Ask Mahmoud Khalil about free speech (if you can find him)
• Christopher Titus: Is American society on the brink of collapse? Time for the 25th Amendment!
• Stephen: Трамп trade war wipes $4T off the stock market & rebrand your Tesla & RFK Jr. on measles
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Waste, Fraud, and Abuse—Vance, Musk, and Трамп ♬
• Ali Velshi: “Stand your ground, or you’re caving”—Weissmann reacts to Трамп’s attacks on rule of law
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: How to fix the stock market (1958)
• SNL: Трамп, Musk and Rubio meeting

Winlar: ♫ NOT The Goldfish ♬

Assorted Deplorables:

• Seth Meyers: Трамп’s Tesla stunt flops as stock drops, sales plummet amid anti-Musk protests
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: Tesla Ad
• ScaredKetchup: AI lEon Musk debuts life changing NEW product!
• Bruce W. Nelson: ♫ Трампer VS Cowbell. Which is Smarter? ♬
• Steve Shives: Be a Conan, not a lEon
• Mr. Newberger’s AI Funnies: A MAGA guide to “How to welcome the Tates”

Jimmy Kimmel: The week in unnecessary censorship

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

G’mornin’

– i am glad that enough of Seattle thinks that the Trump Administration is a threat to do at least a committee.

– Look at all of the people using their Orca Card [h/t]

– Let’s go, Walla Walla students.

– Sexism is a hell of a drug.

Most jobs should not require a driver’s license. Like, if you aren’t driving, who cares? You get a wider pool, and also driving makes people nuts; I am on the bus right now and writing an incoherent post instead of being angry with the car in front of me.

All this to say, I am glad that a bill about it has passed the Washington House. No idea about its prospects in the Senate, but it sure would be nice.

Anyway, it’s a good day to contact your legislator or member of Congress. Maybe your US Senator on the budget.

Please join us this evening for a pint and a plate of political prognostication at the Seattle Chapter of Drinking Liberally.

We meet tonight and every Tuesday at the Roanoke Park Place Tavern, 2409 10th Ave E, Seattle. You’ll find us in the back room of the pub. We start at 8:00pm.

Chapters of Living Liberally are all over the place…if you can’t make it to the Seattle chapter, stop by another chapter near you.