I miss making fun of Sharkansky, so here’s some nonsense that took me about 30 seconds of Googling to find that it isn’t correct.

The Seattle Times Nicole Brodeur’s column today is thoroughly hysterical — in all three senses of the word — “Politics again playing tough with women’s bodies”

It’s 2012, and the battle for control of the American uterus rages on …[Rush Limbaugh] reignited a new national debate about how women can maintain ownership of, and responsibility for, their own bodies.

Of course, neither Limbaugh nor anybody else of consequence is advocating that government restrict access to contraceptives, as Brodeur implies.

First, if you can’t get contraceptives because they’re priced out or unavailable on religious grounds, that’s the access to them restricted, even if it’s not the government restricting them. But second, and to the point he’s trying to make here’s Rick Santorum, winner of the second most GOP contests for president this year, on birth control:

One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.

Anyway, I was just going to make fun of that, but what the hell, I’m already here. Let’s make fun of the rest of Sharkansky’s word salad.

Brodeur’s central premise is that women can “maintain ownership of, and responsibility for, their own bodies” only if the federal government forces third parties to provide free birth control supplies.

The government forces third parties to do all sorts of things. I’d prefer universal single payer, but this improves the current system that in many instances means people who might want to use birth control don’t have that choice.

How is this different from the proposition that people can’t take responsibility for brushing their own teeth and wiping their own rear ends without a federally-mandated supply of free toothpaste and toilet paper?

Who the hell gets priced out of toilet paper and toothpaste? If brushing your teeth or wiping your rear end* cost in the order of magnitude that prescription medicines like birth control, then we’d need a more equatable way to distribute them in society. It would be bad for the people who couldn’t wipe their butts, of course, but it would also be bad for society to have lots of shit covered asses around stinky and unhealthy. That would be one solution, I guess.

God this is a stupid metaphor, but pressing on. If 58% of people who used toothpaste used it for reasons other than (although sometimes including) dental hygiene then it would probably also be more important that society make sure it was available to everyone.

[Read more…]

Goldy has the details.

With only hours left in the regular session, the Washington State House just rejected the Senate Republicans’ coup budget on a 56-43-ish vote (I neglected to write down the tally). Not that it’s news, but this sorta-officially guarantees a special session.

Also not news, Republicans are bunch of fucking liars. Listening to the TVW broadcast it was often hard to figure out whether the representative was a Republican or a Democrat, mostly because the Republicans kept accusing the Democrats of cutting funding for education, when in fact it’s the other way around, and kept attacking the Democratic budget for its “gimmicks,” when the R’s balance theirs by skipping a pension payment. But you know, I guess if they repeat it often enough, voters might believe it’s true.

– Since Buck O’Neil was inducted into the Hall of Famous Missourians, it’s been one of those things I think about visiting but never actually do. Now, not so much.

– If you’re going to imply, for example, that Rebecca Traister is a hypocrite and sellout only willing to criticize MSNBC hosts on listervs, you might want to spend a minute or two looking into whether she’s, say, written an (excellent) book that extensively discusses the sexist treatment Hillary Clinton received at the hands of Olberman et al.

– Aphra’s Reading Room: Women’s History Month Edition, Part I

– While, of course, we should take things like potential threats to Rush Limbaugh seriously, it seems Glenn Reynolds jumped the gun.

– Noooooooooooooooooo

The Senate Republicans and turncoat Democrats are still up to their bullshit. They may try to oust Ed Murray as Ways and Means chair if he doesn’t negotiate for their budget.

But here’s the thing. As Goldy mentions, we don’t have to hurry to get a budget passed. A budget passed the last session and since it’s biannual* it isn’t required to pass another one this session. While that means (depending on how the economy does) we’ll have to pass another budget at some point, it doesn’t have to be now.

So here’s my suggestion: the House Democrats pass their ideal budget fix and then say take it or leave it. If the Senate leaves it, have Gregoire call a special session a month from now to see if they’re in a better mood to pass it. If not, we can keep waiting. She can do the same thing until the Senate agrees.

Of course neither the legislators nor Rob McKenna could raise any money if we do that, but the second half is my favorite part.

[Read more…]

Game on! Have at it in the comment thread.

5:11 (PDT): Okay…so I just got here and I haven’t gotten situated yet. But on the way here I heard that Mitt has likely won Virginia, Vermont, and Massachusetts. No surprises here. Vermont is a suburb of Massachusetts, where Romney was Governor. And in Vermont, the polls in February and early March had Romney up by 30 to 50 points. Of course, Santorum and Newt didn’t qualify for the ballot, so Romney’s strong lead was over Ron Paul.

5:17: Newt wins Georgia. No surprise there, either—he represented Georgia. They hated him less as Mr. Speaker than the rest of America.

5:21: I’m listening to the NPR live coverage but watching MSNBC on the TV.

5:22: Mitt Romney is up by only some 4,000 votes in Ohio, with 7% counted.

5:26: Newt promises $2.50 a gallon gasoline. When will Newt Gingrich promise that, as President, he will completely prevent tornado deaths?

5:29: Romney is up 74% in Massachusettes. Newt is at 4% there. In Georgia, Newt is at 48%, Romney is at 22%. Does this mean that Newt is hated outside his home turf more than Romney?

5:34: On NPR they are wondering why Santorum isn’t “cleaning up” with the Catholic vote. Why is Romney winning more of the Catholic vote [in every primary so far] than Santorum? Two words: Catholic Women.

5:36: Former Georgia congressman Bob Barr (2008 Libertarian nominee for PUSA) is on NPR. He is trying to argue that Newt’s campaign isn’t Quixotic. His argument: “Newt has big ideas.” Most Republicans view that as The Problem.

5:40: Wife #3 is introducing Newt for his Georgia victory speech. NPR doesn’t care.

5:41: Not unexpected: Rick Santorum is the projected winner of Tennessee. All but one recent poll had Santorum winning. The outlier had Romney up by +1. The real issue is why the hell didn’t Gingrich do better in a Southern state? (Answer: Americans hate Gingrich more than just about any politician.)

5:45: The NPR pundits keep talking about how Mitt Romney wins among more educated and affluent demographics, and Rick Santorum wins among poorer and less educated demographics. Answer: Santorum appeals to the Stupid.

5:49: It looks like Oklahoma is now being called for Santorum…which just goes to show. Oklahoma your NOT okay!

5:54: In another “election” of interest, Netflix has become the 30th advertiser to drop Rush Limbaugh like a hot Santorum-seasoned potato.

5:59: Is Gingrich still fucking speaking? Or is MSNBC playing the same speech over and over again? Either way, it exceeds the ideas-absorbing capacity of most Homo sapiens.

6:02: Regarding Ohio: I know a Santorum win here would maximize the primary chaos, but I’m secretly hoping for a dead tie. Does that make me a bad person?

6:06: Whooot!!! Santorum just oozed into the lead in Ohio…up by ~2500 6407 votes.

6:23: Huh…NPR is carrying Santorum’s victory speech, but they only gave a few seconds of excerpts of Newt Gingrich’s victory speech.

6:46: And NPR carries Mitt Romney’s speech. I guess Newt Gingrich is chopped liver. Hmmm…actually, that seems about right.

6:58: I love the fact that MSNBC is carrying Mitt Romney’s speech with the right hand side of the screen showing he is getting his ass wiped by Santorum in Ohio (pun not intended).

7:32: Michael Moore is gesticulating all over MSNBC. He is clean shaven tonight…clearly, that was inspired by Breitbart’s demise.

7:40: Romney is putting the squeeze on Santorum in Ohio…down to 6,000 votes from a max of 15,000.

7:46: Man…Ohio is just the pinnacle of entertainment. Mitt Romney is closing up from behind on Santorum.

8:01: I went to Ron Paul’s web site this evening, ready to make a donation. Of course, I would only consider donating in gold. After going through the long registration process, the fucking site wanted a credit card number or paypal account. What the fuck?

8:06: Ohio is now down to a difference of 1,300 or so. PLEASE people, PRAY FOR A TIE!

Please join us on this Super Tuesday for an evening of electoral politics under the influence at the Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally.

We meet every Tuesday at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Our regular starting time is 8:00pm, but tonight some of us will be there earlier to watch the election returns.

I’ll be live blogging at HA from the Ale House.

Can’t make it to Seattle? There is also a Super Tuesday meeting tonight of the Tri-Cities chapter. And on Thursday, Drinking Liberally Bremerton meets.

With 231 chapters of Living Liberally, including twelve in Washington state and six more in Oregon, chances are excellent there’s one near you.

– The Safe Speed Bill becomes another casualty of the budget debacle.

– The C line.

– Snow in West Seattle (Downtown was snow free)

– Also – should add, Utah does NOT have a 72-hr waiting period for purchasing a firearm.

– The Laurens County Republican Party has some new requirements for office.

– Washington is the 11th most popular state.

– 6 Things Rich People Need to Stop Saying

The more I think of voter ID laws and their potential to disenfranchise large swaths of people, the more I think the obvious solution is in the 14th amendment.

Representatives shall be apportioned among the several States according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each State, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice-President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the Executive and Judicial officers of a State, or the members of the Legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such State.

With the 19th and 26th amendments, presumably that includes women and anyone 18-21. It seems to me that courts could do it now, but it’s probably better if Congress decides on a reasonable formula. It seems to me if states are going to disenfranchise their citizens, they should lose some representation.

Keegan Hamilton takes a very comprehensive look at I-502 and the DUI conundrum.

In the archives of electoral history, the Washington state caucus will be recognized as the event that sealed the deal for Mitt Romney’s nomination. SuperTuesday is only going to confirm what Washington settled. Romney’s double digit win was devastating to Santorum, who was up with a double-digit lead in a mid-February WA primary poll.

The confirmation will come in Ohio, where Santorum had led Romney in every one of the numerous February primary polls. That changed in March. Romney leads in two of the three polls released over the weekend. The inertia suggest to me that Romney will beat Santorum by 5 or 6 percent in Ohio on Tuesday.

The abundant polling in Ohio tells the same story that we saw in only a few Washington polls: Rick Santorum received his brief turn as the Not Mitt. You know, like Gingrich before him (who actually got two rises and falls), and Herman Cain before that, and Rick Perry before that.

Perry went “oops!”, Cain was too touching for a presidential candidate, and Newt Gingrich got enough media attention to remind Republicans why they hated Speaker Gingrich so damn much. So what happened to Rick Santorum?

He opened up his big fat yapper, that’s what.

Actually…it’s more like people started paying attention to the things he’s always been saying. As a consequence, he was recognized for the puritanical freak show that he is. And for what a lousy politician he is.

On the freak side, we learned that Rick REALLY does believe that sometimes rape has a sort-of up-side: the gift of a baby. We learned that he opposes contraception because it is “a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.” Yikes!

These two statements alone make Mr. Santorum a freak or, as Esquire’s Charles Pierce puts it, “a dedicated theocratic loon”, in the eyes of most Americans. Even in the eyes of some Republicans.

And that brings us to the lousy politician side. I suspect that about half of Republicans (largely the males) don’t overly object to Santorum’s freakish obsession with controlling people’s sexual and reproductive organs. What they won’t tolerate, however, is a politician who actually talks about it. Doing so is a sign of political tone-deafness, if not stupidity. The message: Santorum hasn’t mastered the political fine arts of obfuscation and lying.

I learned, first hand, about these flaws in Santorum as one of his constituents during President Clinton’s Senate impeachment trial. I wrote a letter to Santorum as well as Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) expressing my disapproval of the House’s witch hunt, and my strong opinion that Clinton should be acquitted. I received (canned) letters back from both. Santorum’s letter attempted to justify his vote for conviction in the strongest way. He dug in.

What I realized about him is that, unlike some of his other colleagues in the Senate, Santorum actually believed in impeaching a President over a blow job. It wasn’t about political power and victory. No…it was a moral imperative to remove the sodomite for his impenitent transgressions against God. I realized he was too stupid to realize that his letter angered me to the point of triggering activism.

No, nominating a person with Santorum’s political handicaps would be an act of electoral malpractice way beyond what John McCain committed when he selected an unvetted Sarah Palin to be his 2008 running mate. Republicans aren’t going to make that mistake anytime soon.

So…say goodbye to Rick Santorum. The freak show is over.

– Saving the PI Globe.

– Employer Authorization for Contraception

– A view from the deck.

– Rush Limbaugh’s non-apology.

– What’s the matter with white people? is obviously a provocative title, but well worth the read.

– Freewayblogger is looking for slogans about climate change for the next tour.(h/t)

– Yes, this is mostly an excuse for the Democrats to get you on their email list, but you can commit to the Democratic caucuses here.

– Rushed Apology

Last week’s contest was won by Poster Child. It was the house in Graham, WA where Josh Powell killed himself and his two sons.

This week’s location is a random place somewhere on earth, good luck!

Matthew 8:30-32
Not far from there a large herd of pigs was feeding. So the demons begged Jesus, “If you force us out, please send us into those pigs!” Jesus told them to go, and they went out of the men and into the pigs. All at once the pigs rushed down the steep bank into the lake and drowned.

Discuss.

The G.O.P. is supposed to release caucus results at 5:00 pm, but who knows what will really happen.

Here are some sources for results:

• AP state summary
• AP county summary
• HuffPo’s summary of AP results
• WSRP Caucus Result web page
• Twitter #WAcaucus
• Google election results
• CNN WA results

Feel free to share your caucusing story in the comment thread. I’ll provide some updates if and when anything interesting happens.

3:15:

Kate Martin ‏ @Gov_SVH
BREAKING: SKAGIT #Wacaucus results: Romney 41%, Santorum 21%, Paul 18%, Gingrich 17% (rest undecided/other) Total votes: 969

Mike Faulk ‏ @Mike_Faulk
OFFICIAL YAKIMA COUNTY RESULTS: Romney (394), Santorum (252), Paul (225) and Gingrich (136) #wacaucus

3:18:The APs Chris Grygiel tweets:

Chris Grygiel ‏ @ChrisGrygiel
@AP_Phuong – WA GOP Chairman Kirby Wilbur says caucus turnout could hit 80k. #wacaucus #wagop

Man…there must be a lot of Democrats showing up today. Mitt Romney sent a bold example. Or it might has something to do with no primary election this year….

3:26: Kirby Wilbur now says results will start coming in at 3:30. But the narrative so far on twitter feeds and political “chat rooms” is that thousands of people were turned from caucusing. The Ron Paul supporters have turned it into a conspiracy theory about keeping Paul supporters from participating.

3:33: Neither the WSRP page nor the AP page have any results yet. But there is this tweet (from Seattle Times’ Brian Rosenthal):

Brian M. Rosenthal ‏ @brianmrosenthal
With vote counted from 15 small counties, Romney is leading #wacaucus with 31.5%. Paul at 26.9%, Santorum 24.4% and Gingrinch 12.9%

…with the follow-up:

Brian M. Rosenthal ‏ @brianmrosenthal
These initial results probably represent only 10% or less of the #wacaucus vote, WA GOP Chairman Kirby Wilbur says

3:44: Here is a link to a photo of the initial official results:

4:33: With 12% reporting:

Romney 30.9%

Paul 27.1%

Santorum 24.1%

Gingrich 13.5%

Oh…man, a narrow loss by Ron Paul is going to cause an uproar among his supporters!

5:03: Now we have 29% reporting:

Romney 36%

Paul 24%

Santorum 24%

Gingrich 12%

5:13: At 31% the results are unchanged. Looking at the map of reported and unreported counties it seems pretty clear to me that Mitt Romney is going to win the beauty pageant in most of the remaining counties. (It will be interesting to see if Paul takes Watcom county—a sign that WWU students have been motivated and mobilized for Paul the way WSU (Pullman) students have been in Whitman county.)

Anyway…I’m calling the G.O.P. caucuses for the Mittster.

5:54: The quarter of King County that has been counted is heavily for Mitt (52% of the vote).

So now with 42% in state-wide we have:

Romney 37%

Paul 24%

Santorum 24%

Gingrich 11%

Just for fun, here are some Ron Paul tweets coming across the innertubes:

Gabe ‏ @ninjagaben
Looks like they stole another one #wacaucus #RonPaul2012 this is bs

Sorry, kidd-o, but a couple of crappily run caucus sites does not equal “stolen election.”

Joe Public ‏ @Just_A_Joe
RON PAUL WINS MAJORITY DELEGATES in #WAcaucus today!! WOOT WOOT. Runner up Mitt wins the straw/sign-in poll. #RonPaul vs #obama

No, Joe…Washington doesn’t work like that. We won’t know who actually wins delegates until the state convention.

6:07: Every election season Snohomish County looks more and more like King County: Romney 42.4%, Paul 24.9%, Santorum 22.4%, Gingrinch 10.2%.

6:12: Ron Paul is speaking now. Live stream here: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/cvplive/cvpstream1

6:19: That’s interesting. Santorum takes Whatcom! Santorum 33%, Paul 27.8%, Romney 22%, Gingrich 11.9%.

6:22: Kirby Wilbur is refusing to call the election. Apparently he remembers the Luke Esser debacle of 2008.

6:29: Last Thursday I saw a pack of Lyndon LaRouche supporters set up at a table in front of Denny Hall on the UW campus. It made me wonder if some of the Ron Paul supporters, disgruntled by Mitt getting the nomination, would go on to form a Ron Paul cult akin to the LaRouchian Movement.

6:36: Mitt Romney tweets:

Mitt Romney ‏ @MittRomney
I’m heartened to have won the Washington caucuses, and I thank the voters for their support today. #Mitt2012

“Support” is, perhaps, too strong a word. Mitt won because Santorum, Gingrich and Paul are fucking freaks! Mitt wins by being the least bad of the pack.