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Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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The Onion: Scientist explains how climate crisis would be averted if Greta Thunberg just tried a little harder

Electile Dysfunction 2024:

The Onion: Expert explains why, essentially, you’re fucked

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Comments

  3. 3

    Based on the latest from DDHQ, the Republicans flipped zero (0) House seats in this election.

    DDHQ has called 432 races, which means 3 are left. DDHQ has called 213 seats for Democrats, the number they began with, and 219 for Republicans, 1 less than they began with, but as nearly as I can determine they’ll get the 3 remaining seats. In essence, it appears the GOP netted 2 seats from vacancies, but will lose a couple to departures pending special elections.

    Meanwhile, Sherrod Brown could get back in Senate by winning a special election for Vance’s seat.

    Trump winning the swing states by 1 or 2 percentage points, the GOP flipping zero House seats and 3 or 4 Senate seats in a year when the Senate map favored the GOP, isn’t exactly a red tidal wave.

    This tiny margin of voters elected them to fix housing and inflation. They can’t fix housing, and there’s no inflation problem anymore to fix. Trump’s policies, if enacted, will slow housing construction and reignite inflation. That, combined with early signs of gross overreach, e.g. gutting Medicaid and ACA, could make the 2026 midterms quite interesting.

  4. 4

    Even Republican sources are saying Gaetz won’t be confirmed, but Sen. Kevin Cramer (R-ND) says Trump “is a savvy guy,” and …

    Some Senate Republican sources are speculating that Trump’s choice of Gaetz to head the Justice Department may be intended to draw scrutiny and opposition away from other controversial nominations.

    In other words, Trump is throwing Gaetz under the bus for his own purposes, and the dumbass doesn’t even realize he’s being used, and destroyed in the process. I can’t think of a nicer guy for it to happen to. Oh, and by the way, this is how all loyalty to Trump gets rewarded, as a whole new gaggle of sycophants will find out. Working for Trump leads to a dead end for careers and reputations. No one survives being in his proximity; it’s like getting too close to a black hole.

  9. 9

    … could make the 2026 midterms quite interesting.

    There will never be another election. Democracy is toast. Trump won, and the consequences are nigh.

    That’s what libbies spent this election cycle warning the voters about. Don’t tell me they weren’t really serious about all of that, and that they were merely trying to scare gullible fucks like Welfare Queen YLB and The Even Bigger Fucking Moron into voting Democrat.

  10. 10

    Steve was angry. So angry. All of the losing took its toll on him, and he hadn’t been laid in a decade. And now this.

    🖤
    @lalisasaura
    Ladies, we need to start considering the 4B movement like the women in South Korea and give America a severely sharp birth rate decline:

    – no marriage
    – no childbirth
    – no dating men
    – no sex with men

    We can’t let these men have the last laugh… we need to bite back
    10:05 PM · Nov 5, 2024

    There’s always G-clown, Steve. It’s only a dark, greasy alley behind the bar on Saturday night if you want it to be, because G-clown’s up for it during daylight hours, too.

    Moreover, G-clown will only bite if you want him to.

  11. 11

    Julie Su has been in office a long, long time for someone who has not been confirmed by the Senate.

    Acting Attorney General doesn’t sound much different from Attorney General.

  12. 12

    She was a Ford Pinto bought from a car lot on Aurora when the old Cadillac finally wouldn’t start.

    Kamala Harris was a replacement-level candidate
    Trump’s win is mostly Biden’s fault, not hers. Still, she was a mediocre candidate in a year when Democrats needed a strong one.

    Her campaign consisted of pouring sawdust into the transmission.

    She was fucking awful, and the DNC couldn’t hide it.

    Tulsi tried to warn you in 2019. You didn’t listen.

  13. 13

    The stuff Tulsi tried to warn you about? Same stuff Boxcheck Momala didn’t want Rogan asking her about.

  14. 14

    Nancy Pelosi is embracing fully her octogenarianism and refuses to sit down, shut the fuck up, and permit the black man the rest of the Democrat caucus elected to represent them as their leader do his job.

    Being a woman and a liberal, she gets to have it both ways, first throwing Bi-Done off the ticket and then blaming him for the replacement ticket’s embarrassing loss to Literally Hitler.

    Welfare Queen YLB is that way, too. They’re both women, but San Fran Nan is rich while Welfare Queen YLB requires her fucked kids to pay rent so that she can pay the mortgage each month.

  17. 17

    I believe you good people should know that I recently treated your dumbfuck troll for a case of anal sphincter disruption following his having had anal intercourse with a horse.

    Perineal cellulitis, enteric fistulae and faecal incontinence is a horrible thing.

    By the way, your dumbfuck isn’t a radiologist. He’s a dishwasher at the Braeburn Restaurant in Langley.

  18. 18

    @ 17

    You need a food handler card to help out with the charities that provide TG dinners to the needy.

    And I figured, Hey, why just use it that one day before TG?

    Besides, a lot of the stuff on plates is still warm when it gets to me.

  19. 19

    This is pretty good. Don’t know how they made Biden’s voice legible.

    Biden shivs Boxcheck Momala. Trump pardons Biden’s POS son. Neither is up for re-election, so nothing to stop the deal.

  20. 20

    Robinhood Dumbfuck Rabbit: This election was not a mandate.

    Miami-Dade: Beeeeetch, we went for Trump by 11 points.

  22. 22

    Shorter Robinhood Dumbfuck Rabbit @ 3: The Republican 2024 election win was a blessing in disguise.

    The Democrats’ 2020 Victory Was a Blessing in Disguise

    I never imagined I would think, let alone write, that the Democratic Party’s victory in 2020 was a blessing. But for those of us — meaning, it is now clear, a majority of us — who regard the Left as an entirely destructive force in America as it is everywhere else in the world, 2020 may well have turned out to be a blessing.

    I know I sure cleaned up these last four years. All at the expense of Welfare Queen YLB’s fucked kids. A twofer.

  23. 23

    @ 17

    Perineal cellulitis, enteric fistulae and faecal incontinence is a horrible thing.

    OK, who let Robinhood Dumbfuck Rabbit have a second HA user name?

  24. 24

    Which 2025 federal action do liberals miss dreaming about the most? Is it?

    • First! Woman! President!

    • Nuking the filibuster once and for all

    • Packing the Supreme Court

    • Unchecked spending

    • Abortion on demand right up until 72 hours after the head starts to crown

    Well, libbies, which is it? Or did I miss one?

  25. 25

    Eric Adams
    A play in II Acts

    Act I

    Enact sweeping budget cuts within the parks department taking particular aim at the arborists and environmental scientists who monitor the landscaped and natural flora to reduce fire risk.

    Act II

    Under Drought conditions in the region NYFD respond to 229 brush fires in a two week period ending Nov. 12. A record for any two week period ever.

  26. 26

    25)Does FDNY even have crews that do wildfire skills, even as a secondary skill? SFD has Squad 40, and SPU has there own wildfire teams, to protect the Cedar and Tolt River watersheds.

  27. 27

    Which 2025 federal action do liberals miss dreaming about the most?

    I look forward to watching all 47 Democrats voting “present” on the Fat Hitler nomination of George Santos as Chair of the SEC.

  28. 28

    Well, it’s my understanding that is not supposed to go public. So, if it’s not supposed to under the rules, it shouldn’t go public.

    Jim Jordan on Fox News urging the cover up of another child sex abuse scandal.

  30. 30

    I assume it will take Fat Hitler and whoever he appoints to replace Jerome Powell about twelve months to begin blowing up the Biden Economic Miracle enough to make the average, drooling racist sit up and notice. Once Fat Hitler’s tariffs push inflation back up over 6% and the fed responds by raising interest rates, or even worse does not, then whether we get a huge recession with double digit unemployment or hyper-inflation won’t matter. Either way eggs will cost way too damn much and filling up Scotty P’s pickup for his monthly Costco run will be a budget breaker.

    By that point in time Republicans like Collins, Murkowski, Tillis, and others will have been sufficiently forced by cowardice and necessity into publicly kneeling and groveling before Cheeto Jesus that they will be made vulnerable in the backlash we can assume will follow the MAGA overreach. Many will retire rather than face it. Some will lose.

    Right now MAGA is precisely where the neocons were twenty years ago. And they too felt triumphant. Yet in a seeming flash Hastert was finished and heading to K Street, and the neocons were banished by the slow rise of Tea/Patriot/MAGA fake populism. In the intervening twenty years Democrats held the White House in twelve of them, the Speaker’s gavel in eight of them, and the Senate majority in twelve of them. And in every one of those twenty years whenever the stars aligned for them Republicans tried and failed to role back Social Security and Medicare, kill the Dept. of Education, kill the EPA, take away access to healthcare, and more.

    And compared to Fat Hitler those guys were extremely competent.

  31. 31

    29,

    If you even give a shit, Filipkowski posts on Bluesky.

    You know, unless you actually are invested in propping up corruption, fascism, and chaos with links.

    We all need to try a little harder. Even you.

  32. 32

    … and whoever he appoints to replace Jerome Powell about twelve months to begin blowing up the Biden Economic Miracle …

    Less. ’cause now the BLS and the Fed have no reason to mask what’s been happening.

    The January numbers released in February will be judged to be Trump’s fault, and everything afterward will be on him as well.

  34. 34

    Democrats should support this choice.

    NEW: Trump Taps Fracking Exec As Next Energy Secretary

    After all, Boxcheck Momala claimed during her campaign that she no longer opposes fracking.

    Isn’t that how this works?

  35. 35

    JD Vance
    @JDVance

    They’re attacking Pete Hegseth for having a Christian motto tattooed on his arm. This is disgusting anti-Christian bigotry from the AP, and the entire organization should be ashamed of itself.

    Well actually, it is an ancient Buddhist symbol.

    88? That was the year my father died and it has no other meaning at all.

  36. 36

    Democrats should support this choice.

    NEW: Fat Hitler Taps Whale Head Lunatic Actual Cannibal Who Would Outlaw Froot Loops and McDonald’s French Fries As Next HHS Secretary

    After all, Republicans crucified Michelle Obama for suggesting that public schools cut out french fries.

    Isn’t that how this works?

  37. 37

    35,

    “HOW DARE YOU CALL US RACISTS????”

    They’re just proud of their Nazi heritage.

  39. 39

    @38

    And some people who have TWO tattoos associated with White Supremacy just thought they looked cool.

  41. 41

    That’s what libbies spent this election cycle warning the voters about. Don’t tell me they weren’t really serious about all of that, and that they were merely trying to scare gullible fucks like Welfare Queen YLB and The Even Bigger Fucking Moron into voting Democrat.

    Nah, you better believe it. I do, especially now that you walked out on a limb.

    Put your money where your mouth is. I’m willing to put up $1000. Chickens shit.

  43. 43

    The January numbers released in February will be judged to be Trump’s fault, and everything afterward will be on him as well

    As it should.

    But he knows everything, he’s the greatest person walking. It will never happen, amirite. Be more confident you sack of shit.

  44. 44

    Does POS Hunter Biden deserve a pardon, or jail time?

    Or…. both?

    Who gives a shit.

    All I know is that Hillary was running and Michelle Obama was going to step in and Hunter was going to be pardoned. Remember? Oh wait, your always wrong, i forgot.

  45. 45

    This is the rumored nominee to run NIH.

    Jay Bhattacharya
    @DrJBhattacharya

    The covid era was the golden age of science denial. Closed schools, immunity denial, lockdowns, toddler masking, vaccine mandates, vax harm denial, and of course censorship to suppress opposition to a failed ‘expert’ class. The Science ™ must be replaced by science.
    7:51 PM · Nov 14, 2024

    Stanford physician. It will take a full term to clean up the stench from Fauci’s mess in the NIAID.

  46. 46

    “Stanford physician”

    Wow. Lot to recommend that school.

    https://stanforddaily.com/2020/06/10/destroyed-my-career-faculty-report-unchecked-sexual-harassment-in-school-of-medicine/

    Impressive. Talk about “stench”… and..

    served as the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) from 1984 to 2022,

    and has acted as an advisor to every U.S. president since Ronald Reagan.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Fauci#Early_life_and_education

    The last Republican asshole served was a piece of work.

    @45 stinks..

  47. 47

    Welfare Queen YLB has been beaten into choosing a new screen name. Or three. Or five.

    What a weak twat is she.

  48. 48

    @47.. Nothing factual just name-calling..

    weak indeed.. that and

    “stanford physician”

    we’re supposed to be “impressed”

  49. 49

    Biden should have withdrawn from the race earlier than he did. It would have given the Democrats more time to work.

  50. 50

    Everett Transit needs to update their fleet website more often. Right now their fleet is in flux, with 5 reconditioned Gillig Advantage diesels from Completion Coach Works while moe electrics are on the way. The CCW rebuilds were needed because ETs oldest buses are just worn out.

    http://everetttransit.org/308/The-Fleet

    The buses being retired, are of a 2001, and 2002 purchase, Orion Vs Not only out of production, but the manufacturer has left the North American market. Ow that the first of the CCW remanufactured buses are in service, some ET insiders on the NW Bus Fans Facebook group has said that the last ones are being moved across the street from the base. That is the open lot that serves as ETs junkyard. It’s a shame, the Orion Vs have outlasted several of their would-be successors.

  52. 52

    Trump was at UFC in Madison Square Garden tonight.

    At about the same time, Boxcheck Momala was ducking punches thrown by an angry, drunken Doug Emhoff, who was embarrassed by her election campaign and its inevitable result.

  53. 53

    @45 stinks..

    The stench of a scumbag. Low life scum that’s lesser than a bag of shit. Never would have been a real doctor no matter how much effort was given due to lack of any intelligence.

  54. 54

    Biden should have withdrawn from the race earlier than he did. It would have given the Democrats more time to work.

    Dude, the price of eggs! Those poor chickens. The uneducated, like Bob, are truly a bunch of dumbfucks that can be conned any day

  56. 56

    Donald Trump broke the gold standard pollster.

    Eric Daugherty
    @EricLDaugh

    🚨 BREAKING: Iowa pollster Ann Selzer retires from polling.

    Her final Iowa poll was Harris+3 and she tried to justify it. The final result was Trump+13 – an error of 16 points.

    The Selzer poll was previously the “gold standard” of polling.

    However, Selzer says this decision to retire was made before her final poll of 2024.

    5:02 AM · Nov 17, 2024

    Well, not exactly. But she’ll be remembered by her last poll, which helped break Welfare Queen YLB, who has taken her spewer name into hiding and replaced it with a bunch of chickenshit others.

    Donald Trump, through Selzer, broke Welfare Queen YLB.

    And I sure as hell broke Steve.

  58. 58

    Get woke, go broke.

    Donald Trump broke:

    • SCOTUS packing (for now)
    • Senate filibuster-ending (for now)
    • NPV (for now)

    He even took away Robinhood Dumbfuck Rabbit’s ability to spend the next four years talking about what the national popular vote really meant to this election.

    Robinhood Dumbfuck Rabbit won’t be around for the 2028 election, so really Donald Trump took the NPV discussion away from Robinhood Dumbfuck Rabbit forever.

  59. 59

    The one thing that Donald Trump will never be able to take away is G-clown’s circumanal monkeypox ulceration.

    How are those Theraflu suppositories working out, G-clown? How about the butt plug with the slow-release Preparation H insert?

  60. 60

    I certainly hope that Welfare Queen YLB won’t leave her husband.

    Frank McCormick
    @CBHeresy

    Just a reminder that the people calling MAGA a cult are currently shaving their heads, donning blue bracelets, leaving their husbands, abandoning their homes, and taking vows of celibacy.

    6:35 PM · Nov 14, 2024

    Who would provide her monetary support if she does? Those two fucked kids aren’t gonna move out with her.

  61. 61

    And I sure as hell broke Steve.

    LOL. I see that Steve is still living in the fake radiologist’s empty skull. Rent free, I might add. And he doesn’t even have to post anymore.

    This is what forever broken looks like

    Steve did that to you. I’m here to finish you off.

    Fake radiologist. Fake wife. Lives on a shithole island. Little boat. Three hundred tiny christmas trees that are growing so slowly. Fake options trades

    Look on the bright side. Oh, wait, there is no bright side for an impoverished dumbfuck Nazi traitor.

    Soon you’ll plead with me to put you out of your fucking misery.

    I will oblige you.

  62. 62

    @ 61

    And he doesn’t even have to post anymore.

    Neither does SeattleJew.

    SeattleJew is as useful to local liberal interests these days as is Steve. SeattleJew’s personal appearances are especially well attended. At the Roanoke Tavern on Election Night, for instance.

  63. 63

    As of yesterday the Boxcheck Momala campaign began stiffing its staff.

    The scramble now underscores the expense involved in a losing effort and the immediate challenges facing Democrats as they try to maintain a baseline political operation to counter the Trump administration and prepare for the 2026 midterm elections. It also calls into question how Democrats used their resources, including hosting events with musicians and other celebrities as well as running ads in a variety of nontraditional spaces such as Las Vegas’ domed Sphere.

    Internally, the apparent cash crunch is being blamed for the campaign’s decision to stop paying many senior staff as of Saturday, even those initially told they would be paid through the end of the year. Facing internal frustration, the campaign notified those affected in recent days that their health insurance would be covered through the end of the year, according to one person with direct knowledge of the situation who spoke on condition of anonymity to share internal discussions.

    I’m sure the sting of unemployment is lessened by the knowledge that the staffers were lied to by the campaign, amirite?

    It probably cost half a billion dollars just to remedy the damage caused by the inexplicably poor choice of Cut and Run Walz as running mate. I mean, WTF. Balance a far-leftist with an even further far-leftist?

    Anyway, everybody try to convince Robinhood Dumbfuck Rabbit to use some of his vast wealth to help cover Boxcheck Momala’s debt to the world, mkay?

  64. 64

    The money spent to book Lizzo for that silly single campaign appearance could have been used instead to pay the public university tuition of 27-28 worthy underprivileged students. For four years.

  65. 65

    Elon’s pick for Treasury Secretary, Howard Lutnick, says America was great 125 years ago.

    That was, uh, 1899 … right on the heels of the panics of 1893 and 1896, following the panics of 1884 and 1873. An era of one depression after another, like the hurricanes blowing through Florida.

    But none of those depressions were quite as severe as the downturn at “X”, formerly known was Twitter. Now there’s a collapse for the ages!

  67. 67

    Besides watching the Seahawks and Kraken, was watching the CFL Grey Cup. The. introductions take forever, as the referee has to explain the special coin in both languages., even though it was Toronto vs Winnepeg. Argos won, with a QB who was about to give up but took the backup job, and last week the starter was injured.

  68. 68

    @57 You’ve been on HA for years, and you’ve yet to break anyone here, except maybe Puddy. I suspect he may have retired from posting because he was tired of you, not us.

  69. 69

    @ 3

    Meanwhile, Sherrod Brown could get back in Senate by winning a special election for Vance’s seat.

    Of course he could. The special election is 23 months 3 weeks from now. On that same date there are another 33 Senate seats up for grabs, in addition to 435 House seats, but by all means let’s focus on a loser trying to get his old job back two years after Democrats demanded generational change.

    Strong post.

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