Another Tuesday, another chance to raise a glass and have a laugh over the G.O.P. primary melee.

There have been four Republican primary polls taken in Illinois this year, and they were all taken in March. Here’s what they show:

• Chicago Tribune: 7-mar to 9-mar: Romney 35%, Santorum 31% (+4 Romeny)
• FOX Chicago News 14-mar: Romney 37%, Santorum 31% (+6 Romeny)
• Rasmussen 15-mar: Romney 41%, Santorum 32% (+9 Romeny)
• PPP 14-mar to 18-mar: Romney 41%, Santorum 31% (+15 Romney)

It is possible that the trend of Romney pulling ahead of Santorum is simple polling variability. Or, Santorum might be tanking, big time, from (1) alienating women through his War on Contraception™ and (2) alienating men through his War on Porn™, or both.

War is hell.

Anyway, this is an open thread, so have fun…but, you know, keep it Santorum-approved.

5:40: The polls in Illinois are closed and 15% of the vote is already counted (according to Google after typing “Illinois Primary” into its general search). So far, no signs of Romeny is not getting his ass, um, kicked by Santorum:

• Romney: 54.7%
• Santorum: 27.4%
• Paul: 10.4%
• Gingrich: 6.7%

6:06: As Michael points out in the comment thread…that was quick! The election is called for Romney. Since Illinois does proportional allocation, the interesting question is how badly will Santorum lose. (I was in transit when the election was called, so sorry about the late update.)

6:12: It isn’t impossible for Romney to win the 1,144 delegates before the August G.O.P. convention. It would require a change in momentum for Mitt:

Even after polls close on the last contest, held on June 26 in Romney-friendly Utah, according to an analysis by ABC News the former Massachusetts governor may still be short of 1,144 delegates — the magic number a candidate will need to secure the nomination.

Based on 2008 presidential-primary results, conventional-wisdom expectations, statewide 2010 primary results by county, and polls, a conservative estimate suggests Romney will end this primary season just shy of the 1,144 delegates he’ll need to win.

…or some help from G.O.P. superdelegates:

The Republican Party, however, has its own version of Democratic superdelegates: members of the GOP who will attend the Republican National Convention in Tampa this August as voting delegates, not having been elected or appointed, but included by virtue of their party roles. In nearly every state and territory, the GOP chairman, RNC committeeman, and RNC committeewoman hold this status.

In all, 123 of these superdelegates will attend the Tampa convention — enough to push Romney over the edge if a majority of them support him. Romney already enjoys the backing of 33 of these automatic RNC delegates, included in the 521 delegates ABC News estimates he has won.

Remember during the 2008 Democratic convention how the Republicans criticized the hell out of the Democratic nominating process because of the superdelegates?

Yeah…typical fucking G.O.P. hypocrisy!

6:37: Mmmmm…Mexican pasta! I enjoyed it without reservation….I must hate America.

6:40: According to my sources (namely, Google), just over half the votes are counted:

• Romney: 49.3%
• Santorum: 33.2%
• Paul: 9.1%
• Gingrich: 7.5%

It looks like Santorum is going to lose by double digits. Even so, how pathetic is Gingrich!

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Please join us tonight for another evening of electoral politics under the influence at the Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally. Tonight is the Illinois primary and, in addition to the G.O.P. presidential primary entertainment, there are a number of important primary races that could affect the balance of power in the House.

Seattle DL meets every Tuesday at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Our regular starting time is 8:00pm, but feel free to show up earlier to catch the earliest election returns.

I’ll be live blogging the results at horsesass.org.

Can’t make it to Seattle? There is also a meeting tonight of the Tri-Cities chapter.

With 231 chapters of Living Liberally, including twelve in Washington state and six more in Oregon, chances are excellent there’s one near you.

Thom: Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly.

Ann Telnaes: John McCain responds to HBO’s Game Change.

Pap with John Nichols: The Wisconsin Uprising.

Comcast Newsmakers interviews Gov. Christine Gregoire.

The Republican War on Women™

• Olbermann with Molly Ball on Republican opposition to the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act.
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Abused wives should stick it out?!
• Ann Telnaes: The G.O.P Crusade against women.
• Young Turks: Romney, “I’ll get rid of Planned Parenthood”.
• Thom: Tell your boss why you are on the pill.
• Jennifer Granholm: GOP must stop their war on women
• Stephen: The plot against Rush.
• Olbermann with Lewis Black on Rush Limbaugh.
• Young Turks: Santorum, “Raped women should accept the gift of a child”
• Mitt: Wrong for women
• Tweety interviews Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-WA) on Republican’s refusing to fight violence against women.
• Sam Seder: Conservatives’ viscious attacks on women
• Jon: The cultural battle for supreme vulgarity.
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: ‘Papers Please’ birth control policy
• Mitt Romney wants to eliminate Planned Parenthood.
• Jennifer Granholm and Tracy Clark-Flory: Mock bills threatening men’s rights offer comic relief—and perspective.
• Ann Telnaes: PA Governor, “You can close your eyes.”.

Mark Fiore: Koney or Baloney.

Jon on Syrian President Assad.

White House: West Wing Week.

Tom with some Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly.

Thom: Somewhere Grover Norquist is freaking out.

Martin Bashir: On Sarah Palin and vetting.

The G.O.P. Freak Show Continues:

• Stephen on candidate’s speech pattern.
• Martin Short belts out a Romney anthem on David Letterman (via Indecision Forever):
• Ed: The charlatan right wing media battling over presidential nomination
• Lawrence O’Donnell: Inside the 2012 Republican ‘3 ring circus’
• Newsy: Newt ignores calls to drop out.
• Young Turks: Santorum’s War on Porn™.
• The G.O.P. big encounter.
• Pap: Why Republicans hate their candidates.
• Mitt foregos Medicare, but Seniors need it.
• Jon on last Tuesday’s primaries (via Political Wire).
• Sam Seder: Rick Santorum to Puerto Rico: Speak English!
• Young Turks: Romney gets into a fight with FAUX’s Megyn Kelly.
• Ed: The three stooges.
• Stephen: Santorum’s wild Southern night.
• ONN: Romney & Santorum supporters to beat the living shit out of each other for Montana Primary
• Actual Audio:Mitt goes Southern.

Liberal Viewer: FAUX News “Recording Cop” story forgot First Amendment.

Maddow does Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) on climate change “hoax” (via Indecision Forever).

Obama on American Energy.

Thom: The Good, the Bad, and the Very, Very Ugly.

Sam Seder: Dick Cheney fears Canada!

Jennifer Granholm and Ann O’Leary: What you need to know about Obama’s health care reform law.

Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Santorum and his war on porn.

Young Turks: Racist bumper stickers.

Comcast Newsmakers: State Sen. Ed Murray (D-43) on marriage equality:

Maddow: Ronald Reagan’s 1982 tax hike was the biggest ever in America’s history.

The Daily Show: U.S. cutting off funding for UNESCO.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Eli Sanders observes:

Continuing a theme he’s been pounding for a while now, Democratic gubernatorial candidate Jay Inslee just released a statement praising the senate Republicans’ turnabout on education funding.

For those who’ve been paying close attention (which may only be political reporters, but that’s not an unimportant constituency when you’re running for governor), Inslee’s statement is an implicit reminder that Republican Rob “Education Candidate” McKenna has been totally silent on his party’s slash-and-reverse education snafu.

Of course McKenna has been totally silent. It’s because he’s a fraud on education. A bullshitter. Someone who is simply embarking on a strategy of claiming he is pro-education because doing so should be beneficial to his campaign. McKenna’s wants to be the “Education Candidate”, the man who would restore Washington’s underfunded and underperforming primary education system and be a champion for higher education in Olympia.

McKenna’s problem is that his strategy is transparent and, ultimately, may not be very convincing. His position on education is largely at odds with the Republican Agenda. First, it requires raising taxes, big time. McKenna cannot implement his promised funding increases for education without raising taxes. Period. And there’s no fucking way McKenna is going to raise taxes. I mean, hell, we can’t even get our Democratic Governor to do that.

No…the increased funding for education thing is total vaporware. McKenna’s “commitment” to education, should he win, will boil down to instituting a series of G.O.P.-inspired “education reforms.” We get strong evidence for this in McKenna’s silence when Republicans slashed education in their ill-fated budget and his lack of comment on the restoration of education cuts in the current proposal.

We’ve mentioned this contest before. Now there is just one day left in the Freewayblogger slogan contest.

Freewayblogger is looking for slogans about climate change for his next tour. Slogans should be short, smart, fit well into a rectangle, and look good in traffic.

The winner of the best slogan earns $1,000. Second and third places get $500 and $250, respectively. All winning entries get their slogans posted on freeways up and down the west coast.

Scarlet writes:

So far the entries have been well-meaning but a bit toothless – (“Global Warming is not Cool!”, “Respect Mother Earth”, fracking puns, etc.) My theory is that the sort of wry cynicism it takes to make for good sloganeering is the same sort that keeps people from entering contests…

Probably the best so far has been “Climate Change = Primate Change”.

What I’m looking for ideally is the climate change equivalent of a word like “Frankenfood” – that one simple word or phrase that practically forces people to think about things more critically. (Whoever came up with “Frankenfood” is a big hero of mine – man they cost some rich people a bunch of money…)

Send entries to freewayblogger – at – yahoo – dot – com. The deadline is tomorrow…March 15th.

It’s another exciting evening of the Republican Reality Show, and we’ll be livebloggin’ it from the Montlake Ale House—at least to the extent that the news cycle, media availability and social environment allow it.

Tonight’s episode takes place in Mississippi and Alabama, where primary elections are happening, and Hawaii and American Samoa, where caucuses are held. Here are some details:

• Alabama: The state has 50 delegates and splits them proportionately. Something like eight polls have been done in Alabama just this month. The very first one was won by Rick Santorum. Gingrich has squeaked out a lead in two. Romney has led in five polls, although all five polls come from the Alabama Education Association (which may or may not be relevant). It seems like almost anything can go in Alabama. If I had to bet, I’d go with Mitt, but fingers crossed for someone crazier….
• American Samoa: The polls are…. Oh, Wait…there are no polls in American Samoa. I mean, who the fuck cares about American Samoa? Mitt Romney does, that’s who! He LOVES the place. The Oceans are the right height. He loves the little bits of land that dot the place. The owner of Samoa is a personal friend of his. It’s his favorite Girl Scout cookie. And he loves the nine delegates the joint could bring him. Oh…and he loves the Mormons that make up 1/4 of the population. Yeah, Mitt won’t go without at least one “victory” tonight. More insights can be found here.
• Hawaii: The candidates used the caucus as an excuse to send their kids on a Hawaiian junket. Romney dominated his opponents at 24% in the only Hawaii poll. Unfortunately, that poll was taken in October. And Herman Cain beat Romney at 36%. So who the fuck knows. My hunch is that Santorum and Gingrich are not very appealing to Hawaiians (there’s a Hawaiian pizza joke in there somewhere). Ron Paul will try to usurp the caucus process…and will fail because Hawaii’s G.O.P. caucus is only open to registered Republicans. My hunch is that Romney is most likely walk away with the lion’s share of Hawaii’s 17 proportionally allocated delegates.
• Mississippi: Forty delegates are at stake in Mississippi and only a couple of recent polls go on, both taken this month. One poll has Romney up by +8 and a more recent poll has Newt leading by +2 Overall…it looks like a toss-up. Let’s hope so.

So, there you have it. Almost anything goes in the South, but Romney takes the South Pacific.

Go to town in the comment threads.
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Please join us tonight for an evening of electoral politics under the influence at the Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally. We’ll be watching the latest episode of the G.O.P. Reality Show as the returns come in from the Michigan and Arizona primaries, and the Hawaii and American Samoa caucuses.

Seattle DL meets every Tuesday at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Our regular starting time is 8:00pm, but feel free to show up earlier than that to catch the earliest election returns.

I’ll be live blogging the results right here from the Montlake Ale House.

Can’t make it to Seattle? You’re in luck…there are DLs meeting all over Washington state. Tonight there are also meetings of the Tri-Cities, Bellingham, and Vancouver, WA chapters. The Tacoma chapter meets this Thursday. And next Monday there are meetings of the Woodinville, Olympia, Yakima, and Shelton chapters.

With 231 chapters of Living Liberally, including twelve in Washington state and six more in Oregon, chances are excellent there’s one near you.

Dick Cheney has cancelled an appearance scheduled for April in Toronto out of concerns for his safety:

Cheney, whom the protesters denounced as a war criminal, was slated to talk about his experiences in office and the current American political situation at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre on April 24.

What kind of Canuckian WMD will keep Cheney in his undisclosed location, secure and cozy in his bunker?

Last Sept. 26, Cheney’s appearance in Vancouver was marred by demonstrators who blocked the entrances to the exclusive Vancouver Club.

The activists, who at one point scuffled with police, called for Cheney’s arrest for war crimes and booed guests as they arrived at the $500-a-ticket dinner.

One man was arrested for choking a club staff member.

Ruppert said the “thugs” put everyone at risk and forced Cheney to remain inside the club for seven hours until police were able to disperse the protesters and deem it safe for him to leave.

Oh. My. God. Trapped inside a club for seven hour!

That must have been torture!

The charitable thing to says is that they are the latest casualties of the right-wing political propaganda mill. But, you know, that kind of explanation needlessly feeds a Culture of Victimhood. They wouldn’t approve.

So let’s just come out and call ’em stupid. “They” are about half of Republican primary voters in Mississippi and Alabama.

Public Policy Polling polled these folks on, among other things, what they think Obama’s religion is, Christian, Muslim, or “unsure.” The result are, um…peculiar (via HuffPo):

Alabama survey of 600 likely GOP primary voters found that only 14 percent placed the president [as a Christian], while 45 percent said he is a Muslim and 41 percent answered that they were not sure.

A similar picture emerged in Mississippi. Of 656 likely GOP primary voters surveyed, 12 percent said Obama was a Christian, 52 percent classified him as a Muslim, and 36 percent fell in the “not sure” category.

It’s pitiful! On the positive side, this should get rid of Obama’s Rev. Jeremiah Wright “problem”.

When I see stupidity of this magnitude, it makes me think that Michele Bachmann’s warnings about Obama’s reeducation camps was really a big ol’ cry for help….

Obama: Manufacturing.

The Republican War on Women™:

• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Bachmann’s fear of a one-child policy
• Newsy: VA Governor signs pre-abortion ultrasound bill
• Young Turks: Abortion tax.
• Ed and Pap: Limbaugh is mentally impotent
• Ann Telnaes: Gov. McDonnell (R-VA) signs ultrasound bill.
• Young Turks: Megyn Kelly accused Georgetown student Sandra Fluke of acting like a victim.
• Rush Limbaugh sings an apology.
• Keith on Rush.
• Actual Audio: Rush v. Women
• Jon interviews Planned Parenthood’s Cecile Richards
• Jonathan Mann: Rush Limbaugh Death Star Song
• Sam Seder: Limbaugh attacks women, this time over being educated.
• Ann Telnaes: Limbaugh Apologizes.
• Thom: Time to protect Rush.
• Young Turks: Are Bill Maher’s jokes about Sarah Palin as offensive as Rush Limbaugh?
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: The Republican Purity Pledge.
• Ed and Pap: Limbaugh’s comments divide GOP.

Joe the Plumber’s bizarre CNN interview.

Alyona: How to FOIA yourself.

Mark Fiore: On The Table.

State Sen. Hatfield (D-19 LD) on the “Roadkill Caucus”.

Sam Seder: Michele Bachmann fears U.S. one child policy.

Hug-Gate!!!!

• Buzz60: Hannity’s Breitbart video.
• Jon on the video of Obama that they don’t want you to see.
• Sam Seder: Obama + Harvard + Hug = Breitbart’s BIG SCANDAL
• Young Turks: The secret Breitbart tapes.

White House: West Wing Week.

Thom: Even more Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly.

Ann Telnaes: AG Eric Holder on targeted killings.

Jonathan Mann: KONY2012 and AFRICOM Song:

Young Turks: Obama understands the American people don’t want war in Iran.

Thom: Republicans propped up by Daddy Warbucks.

The Republican Primary ClusterFuck:

• Susie Sampson’s Tea Party Report: Super Tuesday.
• 1MinuteNews: Super Tuesday recap.
• Funny or Die: Double negative political ad.
• Pap: Why GOP voters hate their candidates.
• Mitt Romney: Against individual mandates except when he’s for them.
• Sam Seder: Ann Romney doesn’t feel rich.
• Young Turks: Can Mitt get enough delegates?
• Mitt Romney’s distortions about Obama on Israel.
• Stephen on Mitt’s Super Tuesday failure.
• Jon: Mitt’s underwhelming Super Tuesday wins.
• ONN: Romney flaunts his wealth to impress voters
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Santorum’s Housing Problem
• Susie Sampson’s Tea Party Report: Santorum highlights.
• Newt Gingrich: Newt Gingrich is the Pro Wrestler of Politics
• Newsy: calls mount for Gingrich to drop out.
• Alyona: Ron Paul’s biggest donor.

Thom: The Good, the Bad and the Very, Very Ugly.

Obama: Americas Energy.

Jonathan Mann: Super Tuesday Song.

Stephen: The DOJ’s license to kill.

Rep. Jay Inslee (D-WA-01) questions Secretary Chu on Biofuels and Hanford Land Transfer.

Thom: More Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

It’s hard to believe, but another initiative from initiative peddler slut, Tim Eyman, has been struck down by the state Supreme Court:

Local voters can’t ban red-light cameras by initiative, the state Supreme Court said Thursday in a ruling that dampens efforts around the state to banish the cameras.

The court ruled that the Legislature gave “exclusive power” to local city and county councils to decide whether to use the cameras.

This brings up the question, why is Tim Eyman dabbling in pedestrian, local issues like red light cameras?

The battle against the intersection cameras is organized and cheered by Tim Eyman, who over the past decade has made a career of pushing anti-tax initiative campaigns. Red-light cameras are a new cause for him, and one he believes has widespread appeal beyond party affiliation.

“Appeal beyond party affiliation”? Huh…it sounds to me like money is drying up for Eyman—his wealthy right-wing Johns have grown weary of dumping boat-loads of money into his efforts only to experience failure at the ballot or have his initiatives overturned by the courts.

Eyman is forced to take it to the streets and sell himself on the local street corners. You know…in the red light districts.

Game on! Have at it in the comment thread.

5:11 (PDT): Okay…so I just got here and I haven’t gotten situated yet. But on the way here I heard that Mitt has likely won Virginia, Vermont, and Massachusetts. No surprises here. Vermont is a suburb of Massachusetts, where Romney was Governor. And in Vermont, the polls in February and early March had Romney up by 30 to 50 points. Of course, Santorum and Newt didn’t qualify for the ballot, so Romney’s strong lead was over Ron Paul.

5:17: Newt wins Georgia. No surprise there, either—he represented Georgia. They hated him less as Mr. Speaker than the rest of America.

5:21: I’m listening to the NPR live coverage but watching MSNBC on the TV.

5:22: Mitt Romney is up by only some 4,000 votes in Ohio, with 7% counted.

5:26: Newt promises $2.50 a gallon gasoline. When will Newt Gingrich promise that, as President, he will completely prevent tornado deaths?

5:29: Romney is up 74% in Massachusettes. Newt is at 4% there. In Georgia, Newt is at 48%, Romney is at 22%. Does this mean that Newt is hated outside his home turf more than Romney?

5:34: On NPR they are wondering why Santorum isn’t “cleaning up” with the Catholic vote. Why is Romney winning more of the Catholic vote [in every primary so far] than Santorum? Two words: Catholic Women.

5:36: Former Georgia congressman Bob Barr (2008 Libertarian nominee for PUSA) is on NPR. He is trying to argue that Newt’s campaign isn’t Quixotic. His argument: “Newt has big ideas.” Most Republicans view that as The Problem.

5:40: Wife #3 is introducing Newt for his Georgia victory speech. NPR doesn’t care.

5:41: Not unexpected: Rick Santorum is the projected winner of Tennessee. All but one recent poll had Santorum winning. The outlier had Romney up by +1. The real issue is why the hell didn’t Gingrich do better in a Southern state? (Answer: Americans hate Gingrich more than just about any politician.)

5:45: The NPR pundits keep talking about how Mitt Romney wins among more educated and affluent demographics, and Rick Santorum wins among poorer and less educated demographics. Answer: Santorum appeals to the Stupid.

5:49: It looks like Oklahoma is now being called for Santorum…which just goes to show. Oklahoma your NOT okay!

5:54: In another “election” of interest, Netflix has become the 30th advertiser to drop Rush Limbaugh like a hot Santorum-seasoned potato.

5:59: Is Gingrich still fucking speaking? Or is MSNBC playing the same speech over and over again? Either way, it exceeds the ideas-absorbing capacity of most Homo sapiens.

6:02: Regarding Ohio: I know a Santorum win here would maximize the primary chaos, but I’m secretly hoping for a dead tie. Does that make me a bad person?

6:06: Whooot!!! Santorum just oozed into the lead in Ohio…up by ~2500 6407 votes.

6:23: Huh…NPR is carrying Santorum’s victory speech, but they only gave a few seconds of excerpts of Newt Gingrich’s victory speech.

6:46: And NPR carries Mitt Romney’s speech. I guess Newt Gingrich is chopped liver. Hmmm…actually, that seems about right.

6:58: I love the fact that MSNBC is carrying Mitt Romney’s speech with the right hand side of the screen showing he is getting his ass wiped by Santorum in Ohio (pun not intended).

7:32: Michael Moore is gesticulating all over MSNBC. He is clean shaven tonight…clearly, that was inspired by Breitbart’s demise.

7:40: Romney is putting the squeeze on Santorum in Ohio…down to 6,000 votes from a max of 15,000.

7:46: Man…Ohio is just the pinnacle of entertainment. Mitt Romney is closing up from behind on Santorum.

8:01: I went to Ron Paul’s web site this evening, ready to make a donation. Of course, I would only consider donating in gold. After going through the long registration process, the fucking site wanted a credit card number or paypal account. What the fuck?

8:06: Ohio is now down to a difference of 1,300 or so. PLEASE people, PRAY FOR A TIE!

Please join us on this Super Tuesday for an evening of electoral politics under the influence at the Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally.

We meet every Tuesday at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Our regular starting time is 8:00pm, but tonight some of us will be there earlier to watch the election returns.

I’ll be live blogging at HA from the Ale House.

Can’t make it to Seattle? There is also a Super Tuesday meeting tonight of the Tri-Cities chapter. And on Thursday, Drinking Liberally Bremerton meets.

With 231 chapters of Living Liberally, including twelve in Washington state and six more in Oregon, chances are excellent there’s one near you.