HorsesAss.Org

Monday

by — ,

The proposal to make part of Denny Blane no longer a nude beach is probably misguided. But as I am nothing if not helpful, let me propose a couple of compromises. First make the whole place a Porkey Pig beach. Everyone will be required to wear a shirt and go bottomless.

If that doesn’t satisfy you, let me suggest the left half clothed beach. I believe wit the right (or left!) tailoring and maybe some velcro, we can have a beach where adults see half as many nipples. Will ut be comfortable? No. Will anyone be happy? Also no. The perfect compromise.

Anyway, please wash your hands right now and get vaccinated or boosted if you’re eligible.

Comments

  2. 2

    Just my worthless opinion, but Trump attorney Todd Blanche seemed to be aimless in his cross examination of Safety School Lawyer Esquire.

    Before today he’d already booked seven fucking hours of cross with this witness, at times blowing up in “rage” and shouting slurs at the witness. All of which brought the expected sustained objections from the prosecution. No doubt these performances impressed Diaper Don if he managed to stay awake. But conventionally this all represents very questionable tactics. This is a prosecution witness. Strategy for cross emphasises an efficient approach, focusing the jury on whatever issues with that witness benefit your client. Exhaustively going back over the prosecution case to pick it all apart can be tempting. But it forgets that the jury is aware of what the defense it trying to do. They see the defense attorney asking leading questions and confronting the witness. And when the defense blows up in a spittle-flecked rage at the witness, while it may be very pleasing to the client, it confirms the jury’s doubts. And a second detailed recitation of the incriminating details of the witness’s testimony often reinforces the prosecution case. And this painfully drawn out nit picking ignores that the prosecution gets to re-direct which will allow them to highlight key details and re-focus the jury.

    Blanche is supposed to be a very experienced and accomplished defender. If that’s true then this performance may be another indication that his performance is being stage managed by his client. Who is neither experienced nor accomplished in anything other than sexual assault and throwing food at walls.

  3. 3

    1,

    Of course he’s tired. He’s not getting any “executive time” other than the short naps he takes in front of his jury.

  4. 4

    Of course they’re alarmed. Not all Democrats are libbies, and the ones who aren’t dumbfucks know what’s coming unless the entire ticket is replaced.

    Alarmed Democrats flee Biden’s ailing brand in battleground states

    Vulnerable Senate Democrats are distancing themselves from President Biden’s ailing brand after polls show him trailing former President Trump in several battleground states.

    Democrats in tough races are breaking with Biden over border security, liquified natural gas exports, the Israel-Hamas war and tariffs on Chinese goods.

    They should be breaking with him over The Biden Crime Family‘s blatant corruption, too.

  5. 5

    The American government should stop persecuting Julian Assange and ask the Brits to release him. Assange should be compensated for the abuse our government has caused to him. The money should come from the salaries of the employees at Deep State agencies as punishment for their misdeeds. Finally, our government needs to publicly apologize to Julian Assange for the dreadful treatment.

  6. 6

    That Justice Alito sold stock based on public knowledge is a nothing scandal wise.

    That Justice Alito of the Upside Down American flag on his house sold Bud Light and then bought Molson Coors and lost money just to own the libs says a lot about his intellect and partisanship.

    BUD:NYSE on Alito sell date = 56 per share. today = 66 per share.

    TAP:NYSE on Alito purchase date = 64.3 per share. today = 55.1 per share.

    Never take stock advice from Kid Rock

  8. 8

    Speaking of Kid Rock…

    On the Twitter and the TikTok the Magat’s are posting a bunch of things about how Kid Rock sold out his new tour so quickly it broke Taylor Swift’s record for fastest sell out of a tour.

    A couple things.

    Kid Rock’s tour is a grand total of 8 dates. Most notably Sturgis for like the 10th year in a row. Taylor if she adds no more dates (already added some in the U.S. for later this year) will play 152 dates.

    Kid Rock is playing mostly 15-20k seat arenas as opposed to Taylor selling out 65-120k arenas. Kid did try to get a big crowd at JerryWorld in Dallas where he will be the post rodeo entertainment at a PBR event.

    I’m not recommending you go to Kid Rock’s site but if you do you can find tickets to every single one of his shows that aren’t already in the past so ‘sold out in record time’ is like ‘the best physical specimen of any president.’

    One of those tour stops is an outdoor festival with Jason Aldean at an offroad (drive your own) park in MO. There are plenty of tickets available at all price levels.

    The more the MAGAT’s come for Taylor the more they gotta lie to themselves.

  9. 9

    @ 6

    BUD:NYSE on Alito sell date = 56 per share. today = 66 per share.

    June ’24 expiration naked put at $55 sold just before BUD bottomed out in the $53 range last year paid a $4.80 premium.

    Now just above zero.

    Naked calls @ $80 sold at the same time paid a lot less but padded the profit on BUD option positions.

    Never let a crisis go to waste. I read that somewhere.

  13. 13

    Rep. Andy Ogles (R-Tenn.) is touting a new bill that he says would prohibit judges from issuing gag orders on defendants in most civil and criminal cases. The bill, called the “Let Trump Speak Act,” comes as former President Trump continues to fight against his gag order in the ongoing hush money criminal trial in New York. In an interview with Fox Business’s Maria Bartiromo on Monday, Ogles said the bill aims to target gag orders “that are clearly politically motivated.”

    https://thehill.com/homenews/house/4675385-republican-ogles-let-trump-speak-act-ban-gag-orders/

    This from a guy who claimed to have a degree from a college “where he failed every course taken,” eventually graduated with a 2.4 GPA and without declaring a major, lied about having a degree in “international relations,” and went on a talk show to tell graduates to “lock down” their transcripts “so you’re not a victim of identity theft.” And later lied about being an “economist.”

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Ogles

    Maybe Doctor Dumbfuck is right that some degrees aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. This guy is one of his best arguments.

  15. 15

    Joe Biden: Dear “Death To America” nation of Iran:

    The United States offers its condolences for the untimely death of The Butcher of Tehran.

    No, really. He did.

  16. 16

    Blanche’s only defense witness appears to have been deliberately calculated and prepared by the defense to disrupt the trial. Judge finally had enough. Cleared the court. Explained jail options to the witness. Then concluded the testimony.

    Not a good look for the only “star” witness for the defense. Juries almost always interpret disrespect towards the court as disrespect towards the jury, none of whom are happy to be there at this point.

    More failure.

  17. 17

    A hedge fund bought the company, sold off all the land Red Lobster restaurants are located on, leased the land back to Red Lobster, and jacked the rent.

    The hedge fund gangsters would have firebombed the restaurants to collect insurance munee but that would have been a bit too obvious.

    https://youtu.be/ZPtjyqgZAUk?si=p72LEWnFsuZxG3qe

    Thank Kyrsten, “the winner”, for keeping their taxes low. Heh. Manchin was all for raising them.. ain’t that a kick.

  18. 18

    In his recent remarks before the NRA in Texas the Republican Rapist Nominee stood on stage for 33 seconds saying nothing, looking off to the side, his face occasionally straining.

    Go ahead right now and count to 33. I can wait.

    There. That’s a long time, isn’t it?

    Now imagine the Naval Commander of a team of operators in the back of a MH-47 orbiting over a hot LZ taking RPG fire waiting through 33 agonizing seconds of dead air.

  20. 20

    19,

    That probably explains why the Republican Rape Nominee was unable to accomplish anything as “Commander in Chief”.

    Not even a single, lousy “Tank Parade”.

  22. 22

    @15 It’s called diplomacy, jackass. First rule of politics: Don’t piss people off unless there’s something to be gained from it. Second rule: Don’t go out of your way to make more enemies. Third rule: Don’t listen to idiots.

    You’re an idiot.

  23. 23

    You really don’t want to be the last few average Joes holding DJT:US because you’ve joined the cult in late November after the founder has lost again.

    $770k in revenue and a loss of $328m in just one quarter. That’s a hellluva burn rate even in the crazy dot com startup craze of the 90s.

  24. 24

    @22

    It’s also a tell that it was a prepared statement from the state department not read from the podium in the briefing room and the President hasn’t spoken, Tweeted or Tiktok’d about it.

    Like sending a sympathy card to the half brother when the stepdad who tried to molest you dies.

  26. 26

    HA Maoists at it again. Censor the word that is the HNV. No need to wash your hands. Ya need to suck a juicy cock

  27. 27

    HA Maoists love to censor baisly. Stop being biased. Your heterosexual orientation doesn’t make you special.

  31. 31

    I hope Hamas enjoys its resupply.

    Phil Stewart
    @phildstewart
    Reuters is reporting that most of the aid coming into Gaza from the U.S. military’s pier since Saturday was stolen by Palestinians as it made its journey to the UN’s warehouse in nearby Deir El Balah.
    * 11 trucks out of 16 trucks were cleaned out on Saturday
    * No deliveries on Sunday or Monday
    12:25 PM · May 20, 2024

    Courtesy of the Biden administration. Nice goin’, guys.

  35. 35

    29)I would prioritize getting the soldier who stupidly went to Russia back. Wonder if there is anything he can be charged with under the UCMJ?

  36. 36

    What if they gave a genocide and no one but Hamas showed up to be eliminated?

    Nearly 800,000 Palestinians have evacuated Rafah since Israel launched a ground operation in the southern Gazan city on May 6, the head of the UNRWA aid agency said in an X post on Saturday.

    That’s not IDF making this claim. It’s a UN agency making this claim.

  37. 37

    Nearly 800,000 Palestinians have evacuated Rafah

    Out of 1.5 million. Leaving plenty of notches to be made in IDF belts.

    They’ll get to the rest later. Fighting has resumed in the North.. Wasn’t the job done there?

    Israel has to ethnically cleanse Gaza and the West Bank.. They don’t want to end up like South Africa.

  38. 38

    Meanwhile Israelis are torturing detainees.

    Great detail in that article about kreepshit’s vaunted (or as teh babblin’ butthole would say ‘vaulted’) “field hospitals”..

    Price of admission: a beating. Then painful restraint to a bed while “treatment” is administered with minimal to no pain medication.

    Then after what Rudy G would call “intensive questioning” jailing or release to get starved or get killed in a bombing by the ongoing genocide.

  39. 39

    33,
    Problem is going to be that as a matter of legal record the United States tortures detainees.

  40. 40

    For an of US torture, one United States detainee has been treated with some kind of medical prosthetic to repair injuries inflicted upon his rectum and anal sphincter during dozens of brutal anal rapes he received from United States government personnel during his detainment.

    Some of these injuries were sustained in classified off shore US facilities operated by the CIA often referred to as “Black Sites”, and are of an unspecified nature since the detainee’s own testimony about that torture is itself classified.

    But other subsequent injuries to the anus and rectum of this detainee occurred in US custody by Joint Task Force Guantanamo in facilities located at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. At this location and under that command and over a period of years, United States enlisted personnel acting under the command of supervising officers administered “rectal feedings” to detainees conducting hunger strikes protesting mistreatment.

    There is no known medical benefit to such a procedure. And the human body is unable to receive nutrition this way. There is no record of any medical evaluation of the procedure. And neither the US Army nor the US Navy have any records establishing how the procedure of “rectal feedings” came into existence in the first place. The trial record of the tribunal prosecution of this and other detainees has established that personnel who conducted these procedures at various points resorted to “sharpening” the cut ends of garden hoses used in the procedures. And on at least five occasions with at least two of the detainees an extremely strong pepper sauce that had been mail ordered to the camp by personnel was forced into the injured rectums of detainees thorough the cut hose resulting in severe internal injuries to the detainee.

    These procedures, including “rectal feedings” had been reviewed and received approval from supervising command at the time.

  41. 41

    40

    Yet more reasons to abolish the CIA and send it’s criminal employees to prison.

  42. 42

    @ 40

    …administered “rectal feedings” to detainees conducting hunger strikes protesting mistreatment.

    There is no known medical benefit to such a procedure. And the human body is unable to receive nutrition this way.

    Yes and no. An elaboration:

    The main job of the colon is to absorb fluid and electrolytes. Intestinal chyme at the time of delivery to the colon is a slurry of semi-liquid substance. If the colon was not there every bowel movement would be liquid diarrhea. The colon absorbs roughly 90% of the fluid that passes into it during aboral transit from the small bowel. Along with the fluid absorption is electrolyte absorption, which is substantial. Electrolyte depletion is typically pronounced in patients with small bowel and large bowel diarrhea (OK, more the former, which doesn’t pertain to this topic), because the fluid doesn’t stay in the colon long enough to be resorbed. While you’ll read everywhere that almost all of the carbohydrate absorption occurs in the small intestine, it also occurs in the colon, and if the patient doesn’t eat then the ONLY site from which carbohydrate absorption can occur is the colon. Finally, although not in large amounts, amino acids – which are the protein “building blocks” – are absorbed to some extent across the colonic mucosa. I don’t think fatty acids are absorbed by the colon – pancreatic enzymes first necessary, I’d venture.

    (The colon can also absorb pharmaceuticals, illicit substances, and ethanol. George Floyd told LE he was “hooping” shortly before the final encounter of his life. Look it up.)

    Patients on hunger strike will frequently be concurrently dehydrated and electrolyte-depleted. If they won’t (or can’t) drink enough and if parenteral (IV) fluid support is not readily available, colonic infusions can suffice. The nutrient value may be minimal but the fluid and electrolyte support is quite substantial. It is primarily in this context that QoS McHillbilly does not know what the fuck he is talking about.

    That having been said, infusions of split pea soup into the colon are not effective and, through osmotic effect, can actually be counterproductive by pulling water into the colon (think Fleet enemas, which work by doing the same thing) and further dehydrating the patient.

    You find a kid in Africa near death and you can’t raise a vein, you infuse into the colon and wait for him/her to rehydrate a bit, at which point you might be able to get a catheter into a vein.

  43. 43

    42,

    TLDR: it was anal rape and thus torture conducted and ongoing by the authority of President George W Bush.

    Thanks for another useless contribution. Now is the time for you bring up GE.

  44. 44

    41,

    By that impeccable reasoning we must also abolish the United States Army and the United States Navy.

    They conducted the years-long program of anal rapes at JTF-GTMO.

  45. 45

    44

    Yes, but the Army and Navy do not exist to be fucking assholes like the CIA. Sure, there are some bad people in the military, but the purpose of the military is to destroy property and kill people at the direction of the US government’s foreign policies.

    We don’t have to destroy the Army and Navy to get the bad apples, but we certainly must destroy the CIA because it has become anathema to the Constitution and rule of law.

  46. 46

    45,
    That’s pure sophistry.

    The CIA exists for a perfectly legitmate purpose and performs functions vital to national defense that the Army and Navy can’t.

    You offer absolutely no reason at all why the “bad apples” of the CIA could not just as easily be “gotten” as those who performed anal rapes of detainees over many years at a US DOD facility in Cuba. Nor do you offer any actual arguments, much less evidence, that the torture carried out by Navy and Army personnel at JTF-GTMO (and in many other locations and facilities) at the direction of President Bush as part of his “War on Terror” policies differs either in manner, purpose, or origination from the classified torture allegedly carried out by CIA interrogators or their subcontractors at secret classified facilities in cooperating third-party nations. You have essentially reduced your argument to “abolish the CIA but not the Army or the Navy for ‘reasons’. And those ‘reasons’ are that I don’t like or agree with the purpose of the CIA”.

    That’s idiotic and juvenile.

  47. 47

    Another one of the Republican Rape Nominee’s former personal attorneys (also since disbarred) appeared remotely representing himself pro se to plead not guilty to criminal charges in Arizona connected to his efforts to procure and plant forged state electoral certificates in order to defraud the 2020 presidential election in that state. Previously the same attorney was charged in connection with similar alleged offenses in three other states.

    While representing himself he is also undergoing bankruptcy to escape responsibility for his significant role in destroying the personal lives and reputations of two Georgia poll workers and threatening their lives. The two poll workers won a $150 million verdict against the former attorney turned media clown. Recently creditors in the attempted bankruptcy have subpoenaed the billionaire owner of a radio station that recently fired the Trump attorney.

    As part of his desperation to stave off financial ruin and avoid consequences for his contemptible behavior the Trump attorney has also engaged in one of the latest grifts of the right-wing media marketing machine, entering into a licensing agreement for his name and likeness to appear on shockingly overpriced small bags of low quality, pre-ground, floor sweepings pretending to be “coffee”. These are short-lived scams in which the offered “coffee” product has not yet even been produced or packaged for shipment. Once a sufficient volume of payments are processed meeting the previously set goals then a limited run of production is distributed, often many months after orders. For similar examples see “Ultra Conservative Dad” beer brand.

    https://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/rudy-giuliani-launches-coffee-brand-amid-bankruptcy-211242053643

  48. 48

    WhileFalseRepeat on Reddit:
    “Trump has been whining for weeks about an inability to speak out and defend himself. Yet, when he is given the opportunity, he chooses to be quiet.
    Some of Trump’s historical tweets and comments about not testifying in court…
    I am no fan of Bill Cosby but never-the-less some free advice – if you are innocent, do not remain silent. You look guilty as hell!
    Nov 20 2014 – 7:52am
    “You see the mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?”
    Sep 28 2016 (Rally in Council Bluffs, Iowa)
    Also, just weeks ago…
    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-absolutely-testify-new-york-criminal-trial-rcna147663
    Former President Donald Trump told reporters Friday he would “absolutely” testify in his upcoming hush money trial that is set to begin on Monday.
    “Yeah, I would testify, absolutely,” he said in response to a question from NBC News.
    “I’m testifying. I tell the truth, I mean, all I can do is tell the truth. And the truth is that there is no case,” Trump said.
    Trump is not only a coward, but a liar too.”

    >> I’m voting for President Biden and the Democrats because the economy does better under Democrats, I want women to have reproductive rights, I want to keep my LGBTQ rights and I want there to be an election in 2028.
    >> Is the greed, grievance and racism so strong, they have to vote for the failure?

  49. 49

    @48 Trump teased testifying. Of course he didn’t. He’s teasing debating Biden, too …

  50. 50

    @47 Torture memo, fake elector memo, don’t say gay, don’t say climate change …

    We need to get rid of Republican attorneys. All of them.

  52. 52

    (The colon can also absorb pharmaceuticals, illicit substances, and ethanol. George Floyd told LE he was “hooping” shortly before the final encounter of his life. Look it up.)

    Ok..

    Chauvin’s lead lawyer, Eric Nelson, has argued that when Floyd is heard in body-worn camera footage telling police he “was just hooping earlier,” he was referring to taking drugs rectally.

    After showing photographs of a young George Floyd dressed in a basketball uniform, prosecutor Steve Schleicher made no reference to the defense theory, but asked the brother: “When he would talk about playing basketball, would he use any particular term or phrase?”

    “He said: ‘Let’s go hooping,'” Philonise Floyd replied. “You have to hoop every day. If you don’t go and shoot a whole bunch of shots, like 50 to 100 shots a day, my brother would say he would never be able to compete.”

    https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN2C02PB/

    Wow. That defense “argument” sure worked on the jury.

    Asshole. (kreepshit)

  53. 53

    Trump is not only a coward, but a liar too.

    He’s not refusing to defend himself because he’s a coward.

    He’s refusing to defend himself because he’s guilty as charged.

    The jury will see that and understand.

  54. 54

    52,
    For reasons that defy comprehension “conservative” authoritarian white men are absolutely obsessed with the anuses of Black and Brown men.

    Our own Village Idiot stands as a case-in-point.

  55. 55

    Dear Senator from Oklahoma (and John Fetterman):

    If you boarded a flight bound for a country in the news due to its zero tolerance of personal firearms possession with a bullet in your luggage you are not ‘well-intentioned’

    You are careless about firearms safety.

    The chance that a bullet in luggage would get heated to 350-400 and ‘fire’ is very very small but not zero. You were negligent, should the US exert diplomatic pressure to minimize their sentence? Absolutely. Should Senators continue to imply they did nothing wrong? absolutely not.

    Britney Griner did 10mos for weed residue in a spent vape cartridge. What a live bullet cartridge get you?

  56. 56

    The Republican proposed trade wars are estimated to result in a half a trillion dollars in added costs to U.S. consumers anually starting next year. That works out to a new annual tax of over $3,500 on every U.S. household expected to rise faster than inflation over time.

  58. 58

    @55 “Britney Griner did 10mos for weed residue in a spent vape cartridge.”

    She would’ve done a lot more if our government hadn’t gone to great exertions to fish her out of a country she never should’ve visited in the first place.

    At least she’s grateful. Gratitude is another thing conservatives aren’t known for, especially their orange narcissist leader who sees loyalty as a one-way street.

  59. 59

    @56 you think the greedy racist incel will rail about convicted rapist caused inflation?

  60. 60

    @56 Conservatives also want to replace the income tax with a federal sales tax that would add another 28% or more to the retail costs of goods and services. The poor, who would get nothing from abolishing the income tax, could see their cost of living double overnight if all these Republican policies were put in place, with no commensurate increase in wages.

    At the same time Republicans, you will recall, don’t believe in making employers pay livable wages or providing government assistance to people who can’t make a living from their jobs.

    They believe in forcing them to have children they can’t support and then letting ’em starve.

  62. 62

    @60 Conservative voters will vote for this, because it hurts the poors and some of the poor are black. It’s that simple. Once they find out it hurts them, it’s going to be too late, there won’t be any more elections.

  63. 63

    @55. Conservatives don’t think the laws of other nations apply to them, while in those nations.
    Conservatives don’t think the laws of our nation apply to them, while in our nation.
    But YOU better follow the law, when the law benefits them.
    It oddly like how the convicted rapist views loyalty. You have to be loyal to him, he doesn’t have to be loyal to you.

  64. 64

    Sound Transit continues to spend money like a drunk sailor:

    Despite predictions by Sound Transit board members that ex-CEO Julie Timm would give professional advice to them or a future CEO in exchange for her $375,000 severance payout, she hasn’t been asked to provide any services this year.

    https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/transportation/no-transition-services-needed-from-sound-transit-ex-ceo-despite-375k-payout/

    Timm was CEO for only 16 months, and she gets a $375K golden parachute? Yeah, well, Sound Transit has always been a big spender, and the local public agency I trust least. It comes out of your license tabs and the ST sales tax we all pay.

  65. 65

    Fuckin’ A. Three-plus hour wait for the ferry in Mukilteo. One of the boats went down with a mechanical. In line for more than an hour and I might or might not be on a boat departing around 6:30. If not, it’s a four-hour wait.

    I console myself with the New Hampshire poll news. Hurry the fuck up, Darryl, and post the DL thread so we can talk about it.

  66. 66

    @65 You choose to live on a fucking island and we’re supposed to feel sorry for you?

    Well, okay, I feel for you, man. But I’m sure glad I’m not stranded at that dock with you.

Can’t Bring Yourself to Type the Word “Ass”?

Eager to share our brilliant political commentary and blunt media criticism, but too genteel to link to horsesass.org? Well, good news, ladies: we also answer to HASeattle.com, because, you know, whatever. You're welcome!

Follow Goldy

[iire_social_icons]

HA Commenting Policy

It may be hard to believe from the vile nature of the threads, but yes, we have a commenting policy. Comments containing libel, copyright violations, spam, blatant sock puppetry, and deliberate off-topic trolling are all strictly prohibited, and may be deleted on an entirely arbitrary, sporadic, and selective basis. And repeat offenders may be banned! This is my blog. Life isn’t fair.