HorsesAss.Org

In covering a Teabagger party in Asotin, the TV newscaster leads off by saying “They say it’s all about traditional values…” — and what exactly are traditional Teabagger values?

“How many of you have watched the movie Lonesome Dove? What happened to Jake when he ran with the wrong crowd? … He got hung. And that’s what I want to do with Patty Murray.”

To which, of course, the crowd laughs and applauds. Yup, nothin’ riles up the spirit of a patriotic American more than a good ol’ fashioned hangin’ of a U.S. Senator.

I’ve already made the personal sacrifice of slashing my employees’ benefits, now so should the governor.

Sensible Washington will be holding a press conference today at 1:30pm at 3161 Elliott Avenue Ste 340 (near the PI building) to announce the start of signature gathering for their ballot initiative to legalize adult marijuana use. They’ve already received an endorsement from former Seattle Police Chief Norm Stamper and the folks at Law Enforcement Against Prohibition.

Seattle Parks Superintendent Tim Gallagher has banned all forms of tobacco use in Seattle parks. Gallagher made this rule despite protests from the city’s parks board. Even worse, he openly admits that this is being done to protect people from their own decisions, not to protect people from second-hand smoke (even chewing tobacco is banned). As far as I can tell, this rule applies to Seattle’s three municipal golf courses, so if you want to smoke a cigarette while playing a round at Jackson Park, make sure none of Gallagher’s foot soldiers are watching.

If Evan Bayh had died, I guess I could understand this piece in the Seattle Times (and similar pieces throughout the print media and cable). But this seems pretty overwrought for someone who is going to retire to a nice corporate gig, and then maybe run for president in 6 years.

Democrat Bayh has politics in his bones. He was 6 when his father, Birch Bayh, was first elected to the Senate from Indiana. The younger Bayh served two terms and was twice on a shortlist of potential vice-presidential nominees. He is the ultimate moderate who aimed to work with Republicans and Democrats.

Yet the harsh partisanship of the Senate wore him down — a strong signal our country is at the low ebb of its politics.

It’s a strange definition of moderate that includes war monger, corporate lackey who literally was in bed with lobbyists but was willing to throw regular people to the wolves. Of course, that’s the kind of thing we’ve been hearing from a media that has long confused moderation with capitulation.

The most extreme version of this in recent times was when Bush was in charge and making war for no reason, “moderates” like Bayh helped him and “extremists” were for peace. But even under Obama, it’s extreme to want single payer health care, but moderate to be fine with a status quo that results in over 44,000 adult deaths and all sorts of other nasty complications.

If that’s moderate, call me extreme any day.

From Gov. Chris Gregoire’s new tax proposal:

Excise Tax on Carbonated Beverages
Carbonated beverages are a discretionary purchase. Their consumption leads to growing public health issues, including childhood obesity and diabetes. Through an excise tax of 5 cents per 12 ounces, this proposal would raise $93.6 million this biennium.

Or, you know, we could just build some more sidewalks. That’s what Gov. Blethen would do.

(And in case you’re wondering about the headline… um, here.)

I’ve been too preoccupied to conduct my usual fisking of Seattle Times editorials in recent days, but that hasn’t made them any less worthy of mockery.

Temporarily increase the King County sales tax to maintain police, jails and courts? “Enough is enough,” the Times proclaims. “This page does not have a detailed, prescriptive answer to King County’s whole problem,” Frank Blethen’s crack editorialists admit, but that doesn’t stop them from insisting that criminal justice services — which account for over 70 percent of the county’s general fund — must be maintained at current levels, in the face of dramatically declining revenues, but with no tax increases. I guess that’s what passes for bold leadership down at Fairview Fanny.

And the Times consistently pushes its no-tax/yes-spend prescription on a number of other issues. We hear little argument from the Times that the state isn’t underfunding basic education, yet they maintain their virulent opposition to the sort of revenue hikes or tax restructuring necessary to pay for it. And just today their editorial page lauds First Lady Michelle Obama for her soft approach to childhood obesity that doesn’t include government mandates or taxes.

What is most appealing about the first lady’s approach is it is neither heavy-handed nor naive. The federal government will not become the food police but will instead encourage sensible initiatives such as added sidewalks to spur walking and exercise.

And how will we pay for these sidewalks and public service campaigns and whatnot? Certainly not by taxing sweetened beverages, the number one source of calories in the average American diet. The Times acknowledges that “obesity contributes to the nation’s soaring health-care bill,” but a targeted tax aimed at reducing consumption of empty calories while providing a revenue source to help pay for obesity’s growing consequences, well, that would be “heavy-handed.” And worst of all, it would be, you know, a tax.

So how would the Times editors balance their own conflicting demands for more government services and lower taxes? Well, despite their refusal to put forth “prescriptive answers,” I suppose we might tease a few hints as to how they might run state government, by examining how they have run their own business, and imagining how very different Washington state might look today had Frank Blethen been governor over much of the past decade, with his editorial board holding the reins of the legislative leadership.

Buoyed upon the economic euphoria of the previous bubble, the first thing Gov. Blethen would have done upon taking office in early 2001, would be to purchase the state of Maine, and at a highly inflated price, only to sell it at a total loss a decade later after pumping millions of dollars into subsidizing his acquisition’s own growing deficits. Then, with hundreds of millions of dollars of highly leveraged debt coming due at the same time revenues started their precipitous tumble, Gov. Blethen would fight vociferously to drive neighboring Oregon out of business in the hope of attracting a substantial portion of its loyal taxpayers.

But none of this would be enough to balance the books. Wages would have to be cut, benefits slashed, jobs eliminated and unions busted… because it was organized labor, after all, who was really responsible for that whole Maine fiasco. And, just like the Times has managed to maintain the breadth, depth and quality of their news coverage while closing bureaus and dramatically shrinking their newsroom, so too our state government, under Gov. Blethen’s deft leadership, would be able to maintain, or even increase critical public services and infrastructure, while substantially decreasing both salaries and staff. I mean, just imagine how much better DMV would function if they had fewer offices and less staff servicing the same number of customers… and at lower wages to boot. All we need to do is make government operate more like a business!

As for schools, despite the worsening revenue crisis, we could trust Gov. Blethen to finally cut class sizes… by, you know, physically cutting classroom sizes, the same way the Times has cut the width of its newsprint by 15% in recent years. Just crowd those desks a little closer; the kids will never know the difference.

You get the point. Frank Blethen has done such a remarkable job guiding his proud family newspaper from perpetual prosperity to the verge of bankruptcy, that if there is anybody who we should turn to for advice on how to fix what ails state and local government, it is he and his fellow economic wunderkind on the Times editorial board.

I’m just sayin’.

UPDATE:
Carl points out that he kinda had this idea first.

Please join us tonight for special Fat Tuesday edition of Drinking Liberally. Our point du Mardi is the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. beginning at about 8:00 pm. Or stop by earlier to enjoy a rich, fat dinner for your Carnival celebration.

Not in Seattle? There is a good chance you live near one of the 344 other chapters of Drinking Liberally.

I think this may have just become my new, favorite blog.

Dino Rossi’s record winning streak in hypothetical races remains unbroken, with the latest Rasmussen poll showing him eking out a 48% to 46% win over incumbent U.S. Senator Patty Murray. Man… has this guy ever lost a race he didn’t run for?

Of course, Rasmussen also had Rossi leading Gov. Chris Gregoire by a similar 47% to 46% margin at the same point in their 2008 gubernatorial race, and had Rossi up 52% to 46% as late as two months prior to election day. Rossi went on to lose by 6.5 points in the only poll that really mattered.

As for the Republicans actually running against Murray, well, they don’t fare so well, trailing by between 12 and 15 points. You know… hypothetically.

Huh. I’m tempted to blow up an American airliner, just to prove Fox News host Steve Doocy wrong.

Some of you may have noticed that my posting has been a little lighter than usual over the past week or so, and I just wanted to reassure folks that no, I haven’t burnt out. I’ve just been busy. Busy teaching myself how to program the iPhone.

It’s been about eight years since I last played around with a compiler, and ten days into the iPhone SDK I’m still not sure that I have sufficient programming chops to get the job done. The unfamiliar Xcode IDE does both more and less than I had expected, and Objective-C, well, it might as well have been Objective-Mandarin for all I knew when I started. I was hoping that with a UI this sparse, Apple might have layered a real RAD environment on top of it — like a Visual Basic or a Hypercard — but no, here I am defining classes and declaring protocols and managing memory for chrisakes. (No garbage collection? What’s up with that?)

Anyway, I’ll keep folks informed of how this project goes, but in the meantime, be prepared for days when I’m a little preoccupied.

Dick Cheney giving advice on foreign policy is like Kevin Smith giving advice on dieting.

Dear Airline Industry,

I’m writing this missive from dreary Seattle rather than sunny South Florida, and you only have yourselves to blame.

For years now, Presidents Day weekend has been the time of year I’ve taken my daughter to visit her grandma and pop-pop near West Palm Beach, a welcome respite from the height of our rainy season, and conveniently coordinated with her school’s mid-winter break. But after months of hesitation on your various reservation websites, I just couldn’t pull the trigger.

Part of the problem is that the Mercer Island district where my daughter now attends middle school only offers a four-day weekend off, but that didn’t stop us the last two years. Combine a red-eye with perhaps an extra day off school, and we could enjoy at least four full days in the sun.

The bigger problem is, the last couple years I’ve come home more in need of a vacation than when I left.

Flying has grown increasingly miserable over the past decade, and to be honest, it just isn’t worth it anymore. You airlines expect me to show up at the gate on time, or else forfeit the value of my ticket, but if your airplane isn’t at the gate to greet me, well, fuck me. Or if we do take off some time that day, but you fail to get me to my connecting flight, fuck me again. Perhaps, you tell me, you’ll get me out on a later flight, or the next day, or the day after that, but in the meanwhile I’m left to fend for myself in Charlotte or Atlanta or Dallas or Chicago or Phoenix or some godforsaken hub airport like that. Snow in Boston, you tell me, means delays in Houston, so you don’t owe me a thing but the promise to get me home sometime, you know, if a seat is available.

And while delays like this have always been a part of air travel, your increasingly hostile attitude has not. There once was a time when you treated us like valued customers, but over time we’ve just become those annoying, fragile things you store above the cargo hold. And as your customer service has declined you’ve increasingly resorted to pulling the post-9/11 security card to keep disgruntled passengers in line.

I know. You’ve done it to me. And fuck if I’m going to pay you for the public humiliation.

So this is probably the third or fourth flight I’ve elected not to take over the past couple years, not because your service isn’t inexpensive, but because it’s cheap. Based on personal experience, I just don’t trust you to get me and my luggage to my destination on time, safely, and in a reasonable amount of comfort. And I simply don’t trust your employees to treat me as anything more than just another potential terrorist.

$400 to fly roundtrip from Seattle to Florida is a good deal, but it’s still $400, and so I kinda expect the people I’m forking it over to not to consistently treat me like shit. You don’t even pretend to care about my business anymore, and that makes me feel like a chump every time I give to you.

So in conclusion, fuck you. Fuck your crappy service, your hostile demeanor and your poorly maintained planes. Fuck paying $7 extra for a pillow, $20 to reserve two seats next to each other and $25 for the privilege of having my valuables stolen out of my checked luggage (even sun screen for chrisakes… they’ve stolen fucking sunscreen). And fuck an industry whose standards have fallen so low that passengers now view themselves lucky to end their flight standing hip dip in water on the wing of a plane in the middle of the Hudson River.

Happy Presidents Day,

Goldy

Well, I suppose that’s one way to deal with education funding at a time of record state budget deficits:

In an effort to bridge a $700 million budget shortfall, Republican state Sen. Chris Buttars has put forth a plan to eliminate 12th grade in high school…

Of course, that’s just one Republican state legislator, and yeah, it’s Utah we’re talking about, so I guess it wouldn’t be fair to brand all Republicans with the same crazy stick, but when your party is philosophically opposed to raising taxes under any circumstances, this is the type of, um, creative proposals you’re gonna come up with.

Republican priorities at work.