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It was June 3rd, 2008 when Barack and Michelle took part in something destined to be call “the fist bump heard ’round the world.”

Conservative reporters, commentators, pundits, and comment thread trolls attributed all sorts of nefarious meanings to the simple act. Clearly, it was some kind of sign of the future first couple’s radical Black Panther-esque militancy. Or was it a Terrorist Fist Jab™ asked a FAUX News infotainer? She then brings on a “body language expert” to get to the bottom of it:

But my favorite comes from a FAUX affiliate in Detroit whose expert found much to be admired in the Obamas doing “a lot of touching, kissing, even fisting with one another…” (skip to 1:50):

So…happy Fist Bump Day to all friends of HA.

Oh…and try to take a little time today for fisting your friends.

– Norm Dicks is calling for a quicker end to the war in Afghanistan (h/t, although “lost” may be too strong a word (yes, I caught the reference to Walter Cronkite)).

– While, obviously, you want lower unemployment, 7.2% seems like a cherry pick as something a president needs to get reelected. But people smarter than me seem to think it’s meaningful.

– I’m not one much for signing online petitions, but yes, the Space Needle should fly the rainbow flag during pride week.

– Maybe David Brooks just wants to have Syria torture Canadians.

– I’ve never had a problem riding this section of the Burke-Gilman Trail, but I suppose Stefanie Frease hadn’t either until the crash that prompted the editorial.

– As I’ll explain tomorrow, I did an open thread Wednesday, Thursday, and now Friday, but there’s less other front page content. Any thoughts on if this is positive or negative?

Oh look, I’m still doing this nonsense.

Bad, old science fiction is the best. There was a time when I went to used bookstores frequently, and would always look for science fiction anthologies from like the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s. The thing about them is that they tell you more about the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s than they do about whatever future the author invented. Women were secretaries, aliens were savages, etc. So, I’m not sure what the next chapter tells us about Guzzo. It starts with Quixby returning a phone call from General Alexander Bennett:

“Hello, George. Glad to hear from you so soon. Say, I need you to go to Madison, Wisconsin, to straighten things out at out Department of Science and Education. Since you left there last year, the laboratory experiments seem to have encountered a few bugs that need ironing out. I don’t have to detail the problem for you now. Can you leave right away?”

First, either they iron bugs in the future, or that’s a pretty serious mixed metaphor. Second “I don’t have to detail the problem for you now” is sure suspenseful. Third, what? Quixby agrees, so it’s not like we learned anything from the call.

Quixby, a pilot and flying device designer had apparently done brain experiments in Madison. And the whole place can’t function with him gone, even though an actual brain surgeon, Dr. Oliver Maxwell, was in charge. There are “brain cartridges” that give people knowledge, but nobody knows what to put on the cartridges. So don’t rely on doctors, medial ethicists, the patients themselves, or whatever: let “the Mr. Fixit of the American scientific community” figure that out.

Everyone agrees, we need to throw book learnin’ onto people. But some disagree on if we should also add artistic, musical and other such “creative elements.” Quixby, who I can’t stress enough the book doesn’t mention any medical training, decides let’s do the book learnin’ for now and we can come back to the other stuff. So, compromise? Nothing?

Then, we hear about the things that Quixby worked on in the years when he was in Madison. I think this is Doctor Maxwell speaking, but it’s not entirely clear from the text:

“First of all, Colonel, let me bring up another topic. I think you already know about our success in promoting sign language as the world’s second language. It has take quite a while, as you know well, but we now have agreements by every nation in the world to teach a single form of sign language in all their schools. We have also made considerable headway in getting English adopted as the universal first language, with the added policy of each nation continuing to pursue its own historic language.

“Another program you set in motion when you were here is coming along at a surprisingly fast rate. That’s the program to translate all the world’s books into many languages, to revolutionize the world’s libraries by committing all books to electronic form, and to reflect these changes in schools at all levels.”

There is no explanation why sign language is the universal second language. I’m guessing to help deaf people. But it’s science fiction, and pretty loose on the actual science, so why not just make up a cure for deafness? And thank goodness in 2220, we’ll finally have electronic books.

Then Quixby agrees to stay in Madison until he’s ordered somewhere else. End of chapter 3, and no real explanation of what order is restored.

– Official or not, The Great Renaming is a hell of a title (h/t to Robby on Facebook).

– Bumbershoot Lineup.

– Another Washington State newspaper gone.

– Chart of the day.

– David Pauley has turned out to be pretty good.

– Mitt Romney is running on his business experience. For some reason.

I don’t mean to pick on Joni Balter here. Most people writing about a possible Dennis Kucinich Congressional run in Washington use the same dumbass term.

Republicans would love to run against Kucinich in a suburban congressional district because he is a fringe liberal sporting a carpetbagger label.

Look, if I still lived up North, I’d probably prefer Rodger Goodman or Marko Liias. I supported Ruderman before Inslee got in the race in 1998 and would certainly be willing to look at someone else. There’s a rich field of candidates to draw from, so it’s not like we need Kucinich. Nevertheless, I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to run from somewhere else.

And in fact the original carpetbaggers were pretty fucking awesome. After the Civil War, of course, many people from the North went South to seek out the new political climate of freedom and racial integration imposed by the Federal government. The people who went into elected office were smeared as carpetbaggers by their opponents. People like Adelbert Ames, a hero at Bull Run and Gettysburg who was appointed to the governorship of Mississippi during reconstruction before winning election to the US Senate and the governor’s office outright. While I probably wouldn’t agree with all of his policies, where it mattered the most, he was right: “he took several steps to advance the rights of freed slaves, appointing the first black office-holders in state history.”

But in the history of the Reconstruction South, the Carpetbaggers lost. After Ames won election as governor, political violence overtook the state. Appeals to the Federal government fell on deaf ears, and eventually he resigned under threat of impeachment and possible violence. And political violence won out throughout the South. The worst case was Colfax.

On April 13, 1873, violence erupted in Colfax, Louisiana. The White League, a paramilitary group intent on securing white rule in Louisiana, clashed with Louisiana’s almost all-black state militia. The resulting death toll was staggering. Only three members of the White League died. But some 100 black men were killed in the encounter. Of those, nearly half were murdered in cold blood after they had already surrendered. The incident once again showed President Ulysses S. Grant how hard it would be to guarantee the rights and the safety of blacks in the South.

…

Louisiana whites formed their own “shadow” government and their own army, the White League. The White League, similar to the Ku Klux Klan, intimidated and attacked Republicans and blacks all over the state. While the worst violence occurred in Colfax, other incidents were sparked in Coushatta, when the White League murdered six Republicans, and in New Orleans, when 30 were killed and 100 more wounded.

In response to these incidents and others throughout the South, President Grant ordered federal troops to restore order. But most of the relief was temporary. After Colfax, the federal government convicted only three whites for the murders. In the end, they were freed when the U.S. Supreme Court declared that they had been convicted unconstitutionally.

The plaque commemorating the incident, put up by the state of Louisiana, still says “On this site occurred the Colfax Riot in which three white men and 150 negroes were slain. This event on April 13, 1873 marked the end of carpetbag misrule in the South.”

So that’s in a nutshell my problem with using carpetbagger as an attack. While obviously Balter and other political commentators aren’t trying to evoke the political violence and racial hatred that ended reconstruction, it’s there in the word. It means something more than just an outsider.

– As a feminist man, I’m still sometimes amazed at things that pass me by. I was caught off guard that there would be harassment on trains bad enough to make someone switch cars.

– While there is always more to do, Obama has certainly earned HRC’s endorsement.

– Seattle has been driving less even before McGinn.

– Fox News sounds like a terrible place to work.

– RIP Gil Scott-Heron.

Not to be outdone by Rep. Weiner, or Canadian politician George Lepp or this pervert from Redmond, or this unbalanced character near Skyway, or this resourceful Bangladeshi woman, Dick Cheney gave his own seven gun salute to the troops for Memorial day when he tweeted an old newspaper photo. It was from a Memorial day wiener roast of the past.

You might say, from Cheney’s glory days….

“Fuck Weiner…. He’s a goddamn whining amateur, isn’t he?” growled Cheney from his undisclosed Twittering location.

“The art is in doing the show without everyone noticing….”, came the next tweet, followed by, “…and making a big goddamn deal out of it. He loses.”

The former VP launched another salvo with, “I win on subtly…seriously, if you get a ‘-gate’ suffix, YOU LOSE!”

With that, Cheney tweeted a link to the Weiner photo:
.

“I win on dimensions, no? And you’d better agree with me @Breitbart or I’ll shoot you in the face. LOL!”

Shortly thereafter Cheney either realized or was informed that he was twittering instead of PMing.

The tweets vanished…seemingly flushing right down that hole sitting between the first and the second branches of government.

A few minutes later, Cheney’s final message of Memorial Day was tweeted.

“Goddamn Scooter hacked my account!”

This piece on Jim Tressel is pretty amazing. I’m not a big college football person: If I wanted to watch a violent corrupt game whose best years are in the rear view, I’d follow boxing because at least they pay their athletes something. But when a game is on on Saturday, I don’t care about any of that.

And now, we’ll hear about how everybody does it. And we’ll hear how it’s just what you have to do to keep competitive. But like those sorts of excuses in politics, I don’t buy it. If we hold corrupt people accountable, and we take away some of the incentives for corruption, this doesn’t have to happen.

Also like in politics, people substitute other people’s piety for judgement. Oh, he’s a Christian, he can’t be stalking men’s rooms for sex. Oh he’s a Christian, he can’t be a corrupt coach. But the truth is that the most and the least religious people are perfectly capable of disgusting things. If I had to bet, I’d say he probably believes the Christian stuff he preaches. I obviously don’t know, but people have a way of compartmentalizing.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this rambling piece. It was just supposed to be a one sentence link in an open thread, but I’m still writing. I guess to sort of make it local, we’ve all seen the decline of the Huskies since Rick Neuheisel’s recruiting violations, and I can’t imagine that Ohio State won’t suffer as well. Doesn’t really seem worth it, but I don’t suppose they thought they’d get caught.

The Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally meets tonight, and we will be celebrating the 8th anniversary of Drinking Liberally. It all began in a bar in New York…now there are 228 chapters of Drinking Liberally and Living Liberally worldwide.

Please join us for a pint and a toast. We meet at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Starting time is 8:00 pm, but a few folks show up around 7:00 pm for dinner.

Speaking of toast, I can just imagine this clip as the intro to a Palin-on-wheels video with the Lynyrd Skynyrd song That Smell as the sound track:

Can’t make it tonight? The Tacoma Chapter of Drinking Liberally meets on Thursday (June 2nd) at 7:00 pm at the Hub Restaurant, 203 Tacoma Ave S.

(Note…this IS an open thread.)

Crosscut’s Ted Van Dyk writes:

As it happened, I was in Prescott, Arizona over Memorial Day weekend and thus got a first-hand view of the current version of the Sarah Palin Show.

Yes…Van Dyk “happened” to be in Arizona. When he eventually gets around to writing about Sarah Palin, he makes a remarkable observation (my emphasis):

A friend of ours, the insurgent/reform candidate for mayor, running against the good-ole-boy GOP incumbent, approached Palin and asked that she sign her mayoral petititon.

Palin did so (even though, as a non-resident, her signature would of course be disqualified).

Sure…as a non-resident, her signature would have to be disqualified, but wasn’t this an act of election fraud?!?

Here it is…under title 16 of the Arizona Revised Statutes:

16-1020. Signing of petitions; violation; classification

A person knowingly signing any name other than his own to a nomination petition or a petition for formation, alteration or dissolution of a special district […] or who is not at the time of signing a qualified elector entitled to vote at the election initiated by the petition, is guilty of a class 1 misdemeanor.

For years Republicans have engaged in fetishistic hand-wringing over voter fraud, even as numerous investigations find little evidence of actual voter fraud. Its a good issue for Republicans, because under the guise of “election integrity” they can systematically disenfranchise, en masse, voters who tend to vote Democratic. And, man, have they been disenfranchising voters. (Apparently, blocking people entitled to vote from exercising their right isn’t an equally important integrity issue.)

So I hope Republican voters will stay true to their fetish strategy convictions and express shock and outrage over Sarah Palin’s demonstrably blatant act of election fraud. If so, one might expect enraged calls for her prosecution, if not angry mobs chanting something about a hanging.

As for me…I am truly shocked beyond belief over this matter.

Breaking news from Ted Van Dyk?!?

– This Thursday, June 2, multiple former world leaders, former U.S. Secretary of State George Shultz, former Secretary General of the United Nations Kofi Annan, and others will be holding a press conference to release a report and call for a change in global drug policies. The group will be advocating that we move away from criminalization and begin exploring ways to regulate markets for currently illegal drugs.

– That message is one that’s needed quite badly here in the U.S. where the Obama Administration is still failing in its promises to put science over ideology when it comes to the medical uses of marijuana.

– Locally, State Representative Roger Goodman is planning a press conference and rally to demand that the Obama Administration back off and let Washington regulate medical marijuana. The press conference will be at Green Hope Patient Network at 15021 Aurora Ave. N in Shoreline.

– I’m continuing to do a lot of work with Sensible Washington, trying to get as much done before I start up at a new job in June. The group is still working hard to get I-1149 on the ballot. This week, I’m traveling to Sunnyside to speak with some farmers about hemp. And I’m also working with some other Sensible Washington folks to put together a video about the abuses of the WestNET drug task force, who’ve left a trail of destruction across Kitsap County. Much of the abuses out there have focused on longtime officer Roy Alloway, who has now been indicted for illegal gun sales.

Last week’s contest was won by Dan. It was the Bonnet Carré Spillway, just west of New Orleans.

Here’s this week’s contest, just a random location somewhere in the world. Good luck!

Job 3:2
He said:

Discuss.

A lot of language is being thrown around on the topic of political prostitution lately. It is, of course, metaphorical and largely hyperbolic.

The real thing is much more disturbing than anything that happens in the political arena….

The Rapture experiences technical difficulties.

Sam Seder: G.O.P.er suggests rape is like getting a flat tire.

Mark Fiore: Doin’ time.

Life’s Been Good To Him, So Far:

• Young Turks: Rep. Joe Walsh suggests U.S. Jews not pro-Israel
• Cenk: Rep. Joe Walsh’s statements racist or stupid?

Jon and John: Fixing the U.S. Pakistan relationship.

President Obama addresses the British Parliament.

Ed Shultz Calls Some Right-wing Whore a “Right-wing Slut” and “Talk Slut”:

• Ed says something naughty (via Mediaite).
• Newsy: MSNBC suspends Ed Schultz.
• Ed’s on air apology (via TalkingPointsMemo).

Ann Telnaes: G.O.P. race is shaping up.

Pres. O’Bama addresses the Irish people.

Cenk: Right-wing grassroots CON JOB.

Auto Bail-outs Pay Off for America:

• G.O.P. candidates on were all for letting the U.S. auto industry die.
• Sam Seder: Republicans claimed auto bailout was apocalypse…
• Former Governor Ted Strickland on slams Republicans on their willingness to let U.S. auto companies fail.
• Good news for the U.S. auto industry.
  Cenk: Mitt Romney tries to take credit for auto bailouts!

Thom: Judge declares foul on Republicans

Young Turks: G.O.P. refuses to give relief aid to tornado victims.

Pap: Teabagger racism reaches the boiling point.

G.O.P. Presidential hopefull Herman Cain lecture on reading the Constitution cites passages from the Declaration of Independence (via ThinkProgress).

Thom: Can Texas secede from the TSA?

Maddow does George Takei.

Liberal Viewer: FAUX News forgot first amendment forbids Christian graduation from public school.

Catholic Sex Abuse Scandal:

• Stephen: Clergy-matic ecclesi-action center 3:16 (via OneGoodMove).
• Ann Telnaes: Latest chapter in the Catholic church sex abuse scandal.

Young Turks: Dick Cheney worships Paul Ryan.

Ann Telnaes: The U.S–British special relationship.

Very Special Election:

• CNN: DNC Chair Wasserman Schultz on NY-26 win.
• Thom: Is Paul Ryan killing the Republican party?
• Lawrence and Rep. Weiner: Boehner Spinning.
• Newsy: Referendum on Medicare
• Young Turks: Teabagger excuses for NY-26
• Pap and Ed: Republicans dug their own grave in NY-26.
• O’Donnell interviews DNC Chair Wasserman Schultz on NY-26 win.

Young Turks: Daughter of Arnold’s mistress speaks out.

Thom: Is there a “shadow Patriot Act” behind the Patriot Act?

White House: West Wing Week.

Sam Seder: For GOP & Scarborough healthcare for Americans is nothing short of hedonism.

The G.O.P. Primary Carnival Freak Show:

• Newsy: An unflattering portrait of Palin hits the shelves
• Ed: Shameless opportunist Sarah Palin weasles herself into the Gingrich ‘slip-up’ debate
• Young Turks: Sarah Palin back in the running?
• Maddow blocks Santorum’s attempt to fix his “Google problem”.
• Newsy: Sarah preparin’!
• Ed with some major “I may run again” Psychotalk from Donald Trump
• Thom: Will it be Mitt or Newt?
• Young Turks: Herman Cain’s FAUX News flop on Israel/Palestine.
• So why is Pawlenty running???
• Ed: Pawlenty flat out lying on balancing MN budget.
• Young Turks: Iraq or Iran? Tim Pawlenty’s confused.

Newsy: TN Governor signs anti-gay bill into law.

Young Turks: FAUX News claims that Obama already cut Medicare.

Maddow: Minnesota’s anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment.

Cenk: George Takei on Tennessee’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill:

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.