What with eight men now coming out claiming they’ve had sex with Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, despite his public protestations that he is not gay, I thought it a prudent time to come clean with my audience and clarify my own role in the Craig affair: I am not gay, and I have never had sex with Sen. Craig. Never.
But since so many men apparently have had sex with the senator, I figure the only reasonable way to get to the truth is by process of elimination, so I urge all my male readers to follow my lead and definitively state in the comment thread whether you have or have not had sex with Larry Craig. As for those of you who choose not to participate in this thread, well… you’re silence will speak volumes.
UPDATE:
I cross-posted to Daily Kos, and included a short poll at the end. Apparently, 24-percent of Kos readers have indeed had sex with Larry Craig. Who knew?
Not gay and never have had sex with Senator Craig. Supprisingly I’ve used restrooms at his prefered pickup locations of the Mineapolis and Dever International Airports….
Who knows? Have been chasing any cock I can get for 20 years – any where – love cruising the johns at airports.
Larry did I do you? Who knows, who cares.
The guy has really bad right wing politics, but, at this point his sex life is of no interest to me. That said, who is tapping in the stall next to me? I am camped in the john at SEA TAC posting this ….. not Larry, but looks like a score.
Bye.
I have not knowingly had sex with either Larry Craig or Goldy.
What happens in my subconscious is not my responsibility.
I am not gay, and I have never had sex with Sen. Craig. Never.
I am not gay and I have never had sexual relations with that man.
I am not Spartacus!
you’re silence will speak volumes
You may not be gay, but you do need an editor.
I have not had sex with Larry Craig either…but like his beard of a wife, I doubt I’m really his type.
Alert the media: Goldy is not gay. And pigs are flying– “LA Times Blast CNN as ‘Corrupt News Network’..”
Goldy says: “I am not gay, and I have never had sex with Sen. Craig. Never.”
But…do you WANT to?
I have never had sexual relations with Sen. Larry Craig.
However, I too favor a wide stance.
To deny something before being accused of it is usually an indication of guilt.
Since I have not been accused, I have nothing to deny.
But reading the Statesman article, I’m struck by the lack of hard evidence and an abundance of self-serving statements.
The Piper
I’m a no with regard to the good senator as well. If I were gay, I don’t think he’d be my type. Hypocrisy is not attractive in any context.
Anything’s possible.
I mean, who keeps track. Between the daily press briefings, late night cum-swapping with Scotty, Rummy, and “Turdblossom”, and busy weekends of outcalling all over Georgetown, it’s all I can do to remember my own name.
That guy fucks me, one way or another, every time he casts a vote in the U.S. Senate.
@11 “Since I have not been accused, I have nothing to deny.”
Well then, let’s leave no stone unturned, shall we?
So, crackpiper, how long have you and Larry been rump buddies?
I’m not gay and have never had sex with Sen. Craig, but see #14.
Condi Rice is gay but has not had sex with Larry Craig:
“The piece quoted an unnamed “in-the-know” blogger as saying that during her years as provost of Stanford University in California, Rice was “completely out as a lesbian and it was not a scandal, just a reality”. The paper referred to reports that in 1998 Rice bought a house with a “special friend”, another unmarried woman, a film-maker named Randy Bean.”
11
Once again our friend Piper, refusing to accept that where there is smoke……, has defended the homosexual senator from Idaho. There are two conclusions to reach. Piper is gay AND he has tasted the lingering sweetness of Senator Craig’s…. er…. um…. kiss.
I guess Piper just assumes all gays lie and are looking for attention. How come he does not apply that standard to Senator Craig who is obviously confused and disoriented about his sexuality?
I am not gay nor have I ever been gay. I do not favor a wide stance and I keep my hands in my stall at all times. I do have a beard, but it is on my face where it belongs.
11
Piper just wishes he was “struck by the HARD evidence”.
I am not gay. I have never been gay. I have never had sex with Larry Craig.
OOPS
I am not gay, and have never had sex with Sen. Craig nor with anyone but my wife of 25 years. However, I am musically-inclined and have been known to tap my foot from time to time in restrooms (and lots of other places) when the choir numbers we’re working on go through my mind. Should you ever be in the adjacent stall, please don’t misinterpret that!
So — has anyone else had to force themselves to control their foot-tapping habit?
@21
That’s funny, I’ve never had a foot-tapping habit, but I’m very cognizant of what my feet are doing while I’m in a stall now, lest I have a Republican Senator waiting outside the door waiting for some action (“I was just listening to my iPod!!”).
@11
Crackpiper, good luck trying to find that hard evidence.
Not me….
….but that Piper….hmmmmmm…
“To deny something before being accused of it is usually an indication of guilt.”
Wow! I was not aware that I have been trading barbed blogging comments with, like, GOD.
Who’da’ thought?
“I am not a crook.”
Richard Nixon, ca 1973
@24: Time to slaughter that goat!
Goldy, this if off topic, but I have a suggestion for a blog topic, or something you might be thinking about:
Washington state voters just passed a referendum allowing the state more leeway in investing state funds in investments with greater risk along with potentially higher yields. As it turns out, many states that already have this leeway are now finding out that they have bitten off a big chunk of what Atrios calls the Big Shitpile (SIVs and other investment vehicles that bought into the subprime mess). Who is going to make sure that Washington taxpayers are not caught holding a piece of this, or the next Big Shitpile?
Toby @ 21
I don’t have a concern about foot-tapping in a public stall, but I get quite concerned when a sheet of toilet paper slips to the floor, especially when it drifts toward the adjacent stall. As if we didn’t have enough things to worry about . . .
“To deny something before being accused of it is usually an indication of guilt.”
You mean, like Larry Craig did back in 1982 during the Congressional Page scandal back then when he told everyone that he hadn’t been involved even though nobody had accused him of anything? Some people thought that was a little bit strange at the time….
Goldy
I’ve had sex with your wife. Since I’ve said it it has to be true. BTW – She absolutely loves anal.
@24…PTBAA…
FINALLY! One of you has caught on!
The Piper
@28…PL…
Just so long as the sheet hasn’t your phone number on it, what’s to worry?
The Piper
@21…TN…
Wouldn’t worry were I you…But if Savion Glover ever gets himself caught in a stall, it’s up the river for three consecutive life sentences!
The Piper
@15…RR…
I heard you had that opening filled yourself.
The Piper
never had sex with larry craig, trent lott, or any republican “leaders” though i tend to hang out in stall 8 of 9 sometimes hoping for an encounter.
I have never had sex with Larry Craig. It’s really a pretty long line to wait in, and then I had to pee, and, well, I forgot to.
Are the complainers in here upset that eight men fucked, fondled, vice-versa, or were hit on by Larry Craig and none of them bothered to lift his driver’s license, fingerprint him, or get a Polaroid of his mouth on their organ? Really?
@21 Toby, let’s hope you’re better than Larry Craig at keeping your happy feet in your own stall — so no one will misinterpret your ebullience!
P.S., I do understand … at my age, just being able to shit makes me happy.
@24 Crackpiper is not God. Trust me on this.
@38…RR…
So…you do, then, acknowledge that there is a God…it’s just that I am not He?
The Piper
Eight men, huh? Were they all wearing black “sox”?
@40: Garters optional?
@27 In this case, “greater risk” means something yielding more than 1/2% a year, such as blue-chip stocks.
SIVs are stealth securities. Wall Street sliced and diced them so many times investors don’t even know they bought this crap. It was disguised in many ways.
For example, one of the ways this risk was hidden from investors was by selling these junk securities to banks, which raised the risk for depositors.
So, yes, state investments are at greater risk because of SIVS — because the state keeps money in banks. As for whether any of these now-worthless securities found their way into state investment portfolios, I would guess there’s not a lot of them, as the state investment managers practice diversification with a vengeance, but I would guess there’s probably a few of them in state portfolios.
If so, they got there because they were marketed (and perceived) as “low risk, low yield” bonds, money market funds, or mortgage-backed securities. In fact, they were high risk, low yield “investments.”
Allowing the state to invest in suitable stocks will not only increase yields but lower risks.
Meanwhile, if the state did get burned by SIVs, I’m sure lawyers in the attorney general’s office are working on it. If the state was deceived into buying high risk, low yield bonds or securitized mortgage obligations, you can bet the state is going to sue the brokerage firms who sold this stuff.
If I were in the Senate, I’d join the Singing Senators, but I most certainly don’t play no flute. Nuh-huh.
Toby @21,
In college, I did occasionally tap dance in a public restroom. The tile floor made it particular suitable for practicing time steps.
But then, I suppose we’ve all had our youthful indiscretions.
A lot of people don’t understand that low-yielding bank deposits and money funds are riskier than stocks. My bank pays 3/4% on savings deposits, which is about 1/6th the rate of inflation, so keeping money in a savings account is guaranteed to result in financial loss. Consequently, I keep no more cash in low-yield accounts than I think I may need short-term. The rest is in CDs or stocks. Nothing is more dangerous to your financial health than yields below the rate of inflation. From this perspective, cash deposits to a bank or money market fund are high risk.
I have not had sex with any members of the US Senate barbershop quartet, the Singing Senators (nor any of their substitutes such as Hatch, Tancredo, Kyl, etc.); nor have i ever been invited to any of those infamous 1980s parties where Poppy Bush and Dickie C were said to have thus engaged.
@31 No, you can’t be God today.
@34 You’re misinformed about a lot of things, crackpiper.
@47…RR…
Why? You buckin’ for the job?
The Piper
@39 You don’t actually read my comments, do you? How about if I ask the Great Mother Rabbit Spirit to kick you in the ass, would that clarify your understanding of my religious beliefs?
@49 Of course not. I’m only a messenger boy.
@49 (continued) The reason you can’t be God is because you’re (a) not intelligent enough, (b) not kind enough, (c) not humble enough, and (d) you’re simply not She.
You see, crackpiper, being God is one of those things were you either are, or you aren’t. It’s like being a king. You’re born to it. And if you weren’t born as the first in line of succession, well, then you’re not king. That’s all there is to it. If you’re not born as God, you can’t become God. Period. Oh, what’s the use, trying to reason with you is just wasted effort …
@48…RR…
I don’t know…Anyone who’s ever seen “Bambi” knows that rabbits are the world’s best thumpers…And it’s no coincidence that his name is Peter CottonTAIL (not to mention a play on the first name). And isn’t “Bugs (as in Bugs Bunny) short for “Bugger?”
I’ll just bet your ol’ mum wasn’t killed by an SUV at all; suicide out of embarrassment for what is now being disclosed.
The Piper
@50…RR…
The only thing you worship is the image you gaze upon each morning in the mirror.
The Piper
Whenver you want to know whether to use “you’re” or “your” in a post, just say the sentence to yourself and substitute “you are” and see if it still makes sense. If so, use “you’re,” and if not, use “your.”
Just a hint, fellas…
Jeez, over at Kos the commenters are all funny and they’re nice to each other. Made me miss HA.
@55…DL…
So…does the question now become whether Goldy’s grammar did the dirtybadnasty with Larry Craig? Is that what you’re (you are) implying? Should I infer same?
How punctuating!
The Piper
@49: Why? You buckin’ for the job?
Uh oh. Freudian slip?
Larry who?
i have not had sex with anyone named Larry…..there may have been a Larinetta once in Moscow
@58…PTBAA…
I’d be careful if I were you about having your slip show when next you attend a restroom ceremony.
The Piper
@61: “I’d be careful if I were you about having your slip show when next you attend a restroom ceremony.”
So that’s where all your acolytes worship you? Man, you’re some kinda’ GOD after all. How do you all fit in the same stall? Is it like dancing on the head of a pin?
Just askin’
@62…PTBAA…
You’re (you are…in this thread, the distinction must be precise) the one who seems to know the protocals, not me.
Stall cramming? Dancing on pins? Mucking about with acolytes? In your slip?
How gay is that?
The Piper
PS:
cramming?
Mucking about…
your slip?
Piper, Piper, yikes, Piper
The double entendres drop from your keyboard like so much ripe fruit (urk).
Piper, m’lad, tell me–in your heart of hearts do you honestly believe that Larry Craig has been entirely forthcoming and honest about (a) what happened in the Minneapolis airport, and (b) his sexual orientation?
57
Well, if his grammar doesn’t deny it….
@65…PL…
Candidly and in all honesty? I have no idea…
In a huge sense, I neither know nor care nor care to know.
I do think the guy should have resigned when he said he would a couple months ago. And pleading guilty, even to a misdemeanor, evidences poor judgment; never make a legal decision without consulting an attorney.
But reading the Statesman article isn’t conclusive
either.
He is a political embarrassment, and I have little patience for political embarrassments.
The Piper
Piper
The evidence out there certainly would not meet the criminal standard of beyond a reasonable doubt. But, I think a reasonable inference to be drawn from what is out there is that he has a secret. And, he plainly lacks judgment. I am, of course, pleased that he reneged on his promise to resign. Anything that embarrasses the GOP is fine with me.
Stop picking on my face.
Sincerely,
Larry’s Beard
@68…PL…
Don’t worry, you have a long way to go before you overcome the embarrassment you must feel at having Ted Kennedy and his bridge over troubled waters…among many others.
The Piper
70
Piper,
Is it possible for you to use relevant events, rather than ancient history, as the basis for YOUR, ahem, argument? Ted Kennedy’s past history has no bearing on Larry Craig’s current screwing of the pooch, uh, strangers in the stall exploits.
Come back when the total of Larry Craig’s work is the equal of Ted Kennedy’s. The people Massachusetts have spoken for decades. They forgave him, and through reelection, have affirmed their belief that he capably represents their state. How would Mr. Craig fare in a reelection race if he were man enough to admit his transgressions? His showing would be abysmal. I could beat him.
We are not talking about the scandals of others, we are talking about Mr. Craig. I will be happy to provide you with a list of Republican sojourns to the wrong side of temptation. Mark Foley ring a bell?
@70…Carl…
Larry Craig may be creepy, but he’s never been deadly. Mark Foley may be sleazy and vile, but he doesn’t keep bribes in the deep freeze.
There’s plenty of mud to be flung on both sides.
The Piper
Piper
I’m disappointed. You rebut Larry Craig’s current travails with those of Ted Kennedy’s 40 years ago? C’mon, yeah, there’s plenty of mud to be slung on both sides, but the extent of Craig’s hypocrisy (which is ongoing and damaging still) is truly breathtaking. By the way, he’s done plenty to kill people–he supports GWB in whatever he does.
Roger Rabbit says:
That guy fucks me, one way or another, every time he casts a vote in the U.S. Senate.
Court Backs Ruling Against Congressman
The Supreme Court Monday refused to hear McDermott’s request to review the case. The decision, made without comment, ends a legal fight that had stretched for nearly 10 years.
Roger how about this Socialist Democrats that is finally is being held accountable for his crime. Let’s bet he will not write that check until he is dead. Wouldn’t admit he was wrong, nor apologize for breaking the law. Yes his house in Seattle is now up for sale, any buyers? Going real cheap $500,000 and his roommate will stay. He will have to put his house up for sell and move in with OJ Simpson. Question how will he get Osama bin Laden out the back door without being caught? That man always supports the enemies of the State. I bet Newt Gingrich is hosting a party tonight. Goldy you and Will might try crashing the party. Maybe you might find out other folks live. By the way Roger how is that new silk prayer rug working? You do pray five times a day? Keep up the good work maybe your wife will not have to cover her whole body with a black garment.
Well, it’s possible that this Cantwell staffer did have sex with Larry Craig. He certainly would have known his way around gay Senators.
But it will go unmentioned on this blog by Goldy, because it was a Democrat staffer. Double standard.
Maria Cantwell Pedophile enabler
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/a.....nate1.html
76
Maria Cantwell (perhaps–there has been no trial) makes a bad hire and you call her a “pedophile enabler”? What is wrong with you people? What made you so judgmental? Go beat off, you pathetic bastard.
Not this week.
@53 I fuck cute female bunnies. Lots of ’em. I do it every day. What of it?
@53 (continued) You see, piper, you humans are doomed. Either you’re going to commit fratricide or poison yourselves into extinction, but one way or another, your species is as good as extinct! After you’re gone, something has to replace you, and we rabbits have decided it’s going to be us. To help make that happen, I’m creating as many new rabbits as I possibly can. It’s what nature designed me for! That’s my job. The Great Mother Rabbit Spirit put my kind here to fill your niche when you’re gone. We rabbits are merely following Her orders.
@54 No, you got that all wrong good buddy, I worship the Great Mother Rabbit Spirit, and I’m definitely not Her. I’m just Her employee.
@65 “Piper, m’lad, tell me–in your heart of hearts do you honestly believe that Larry Craig has been entirely forthcoming and honest about (a) what happened in the Minneapolis airport, and (b) his sexual orientation?”
Of course crackpiper believes that! He’s delusional.
@67 “never make a legal decision without consulting an attorney”
Do you really think he didn’t?
@72 Trouble is, 95% of it should be flung at your side. The GOP has set a standard for sleaze and corruption no one will ever be able to equal let alone beat.
@72 is just another weak permutation of the wingnut whine that “Democrats do it, too.” Nope. Not like you guys. Not even close.
@75 This is a liberal blog. If you want to read wingnut propaganda, try this one. http://www.freerepublic.com/home.htm
ah..the party of tolerance!the liberals. ha ha ha. and you wonder why i call you proglodytes???
what? is there something wrong with being gay? good god.
the nasty little whisperers “condi rice was OPENLY[!!!!] gay” …..oh no. not that! and in california too. wow…i never saw that coming. sheesh. what next?
are all of you really this backward? so, i guess i was right when i said that the first time you disagreed with someone’s point of view the first barbs were “gay. retarded, ugly etc.” because you are all so,ahhh, what is the word i am looking for…..COMMON. that’s it. backward and common.
we call it vulgar here in california but i know that is going to be too big a word for your little minds……
you know what they say goldy dear about someone who answers a question that no one asked…..
goldy….i don’t think you have enough character to be gay. like everything else you are just a wanna be gay…….actually being gay would be difficult and let’s face it you are just too damn lazy.
James Michael McHaney isn’t gay either… he’s a kiddie fucker working (until he was outed) for an fucking adulterer and marriage wrecker (until she was outed)
you wonder why i call you proglodytes???
Hmmm. No we don’t. We could care less what an irrelevant crank like you does.
How’s paradise treating you? Not too good if you’re spending time here. You just can’t stay away.
Your ridiculous party is circling the drain. We’re have a wonderful time. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch.
What’s really fucking sad in the puritanical fuck up of a country is that if it weren’t such a shameful thing to be gay, there would not be so many “Larry Craig’s” going at it in bathrooms in desperate attempts to get what every human being needs – sex and human contact.
Instead, the Christian moralist fucks have created a myopic environment where we can repress people based on their sexual orientation, not “lifestyle”, yes, the “gay lifestyle” is a bullshit p.r. term conjured up by fuckwads like Rove etc.
Fuck Republican’s – they should embrace Larry for being the big fucking homo he is. Too bad he doesn’t have the balls to come out like Arizona Rep. Jim Kolbe, who was never caught in a bathroom.
Republicans – they’re such a pathetic pile of dog shit.
Excuse my typo – in this puritanical fuck up of a country… sorry it’s late and I’m pissed off with the bullshit as usual.
87
But CG, you ARE gay, retarded, and ugly. Given that fact, what would you expect us to say in good conscience?
75 Kachow
You should read a little and learn the difference between “gay” and “pedophile.”
This Cantwell staffer thing is certainly fair game.
The difference is, this guy will never work in Democratic politics again. With Mark Foley, the Republican leadership KNEW about his underage “proclivities” and covered up for him for years while he preyed on interns.
In other news, the Republican US Congressional staffer who hacked into Democratic computers to steal information and use it agaisnt them has now been appointed by Bush to a paying job teaching Iraqis about democracy, if you can believe that shit.
This points up the essential, central corruption in the Republican party. This is why America rejects you.
While I’ve had sex, lots and lots of sex, I have never had sex with Larry Craig. Nor have I knowingly ever had sex with a Republican. Wouldn’t want to go giving orgasms to the enemy now would we.
It became clear to me many years ago that then Representative Craig was extremely interested in me in a sexual way. Maybe it was the extremely odd head turning leer he gave me every time I walked by or attended a meeting with him. The guy has a way with a stare that is highly unusual and decidedly creepy.
No sex though. Not even close.