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The other day I took a bike ride down the waterfront. I have to say the bike trail in the Southern part is pretty cool. I hope they expand that all the way up and maybe to the Sculpture Park. Still, riding by some of the recently torn out tracks from the old waterfront streetcar hit me surprisingly hard.

Sure, it’s tough to mourn a line that hasn’t been in service for the better part of a decade: Nobody really believed the route would come back any time soon, and with the tunnel, it has been a done deal for some time that they’d never have that streetcar along the waterfront. I’ve said before that I’m fine in theory with the bus route that replaced it, although I wish it ran both ways and more frequently.

Still, seeing the gravel beds without the tracks had a sense of permanence that the things in the above paragraph don’t. If you’d asked me before, I would have told you that the streetcar wasn’t coming back. But now I can say it with more conviction.

If this piece was written by anyone but Lou Guzzo (his archives are funky, scroll down to March 17), I’d assume it was satire on the hype around the NFL draft. For Guzzo, I think he thinks it’s a good idea.

Why Not Draft Opera Singers, Actors Like the NFL Does It?

Because it’s a terrible idea. Because nobody thinks it’s unfair that the best opera singers go to the best operas? I’m going to feel bad making fun of this if it’s actually satire.*

I’ve been an incurable football nut almost since birth, but even I have the feeling that the annual shindig called the National Football League draft is terribly overdone as entertainment, despite the valiant efforts of the league and the various owners to make it seem like the rebirth of old-time vaudeville.

Sure. Fans only have 16 games and a relatively short playoff, and they love the game, so they get excited when things like the draft, the combine, and the when next season’s schedule comes out. That’s fine: if there’s a market for it, let people watch it. People get excited about all sorts of things.

After all, what on earth is so exciting about watching an annual supermarket for excessively high priced human beef? Why in the world don’t we get that hysterical, say, over drafting talent in many other walks of life. Let’s say, grand opera, for instance. I can just hear the announcer at a Grand Opera “draft” now:

Why don’t we get hyst… Why… don’t we get that hysterical over drafting opera singers? For starters, we can’t really get excited about an event that doesn’t happen. Second, the event doesn’t happen because the operas don’t compete against each other in a league so there wouldn’t be anyone to organize the draft. And third even if there was an opera league, singers can go wherever they want to perform.

“And now, folks, please give me your undivided attention. Here is the announcement we’ve all been waiting for. Speight Jenkins, general manager of the Seattle Opera Company, will step up to the microphone and announce his first pick from among the tenors. Speight….”

Does Lou Guzzo think the NFL drafts by position? Otherwise, why would he have a pick among the tenors? Is this satire? Isn’t satire supposed to be funny?

“Ladies and gentlemen of the opera world, it gives me the greatest pleasure to report that our first draft choice is Mario Lungbuster, lyric tenor from the Cincinnati Conservatory! Mr. Lungbuster, will you please come up here to the microphone so I can introduce you properly.”

Was there any point of this paragraph?

(Can you hear the audience cheering and shouting “Bravo! at the top of the operatic registers?)

No.

The announcer returns for a moment: “Mr. Jenkins! Mr. Jenkins! Will you please answer a few questions for our TV and radio audiences? You can? Good! OK. Here’s one from a woman in our audience. She wants to know why you selected Mario in the very first round — and can you afford to sign him to a contract?”

It sounds like this plan would make opera worse.

Mr. Jenkins: “Well, our regular tenor is still recovering from rib fractures suffered when he tried lifting the well-built soprano from the sofa in ‘La Traviata,’ and then a day later he really aggravated the injury when he fell off his horse in ‘Aida,’ but managed to finish the opera in great pain. We need a backup dramatic tenor.

“Mario is just the ticket. He’s short on experience, but he proved he knows how to go for the high notes without straining his, if you’ll pardon the expression, stomach muscles. Besides, he has well developed arm and back muscles so he’ll be able to hoist those overweight sopranos when they lean on him in the middle of a tearful aria. Oh, and to answer the second part of your question, we can afford to sign Mario to a long-term contract, but we may not have enough in the bank to pay for all his bills from his chiropractor.”

Wouldn’t anyone in a draft by necessity be short on experience? Also, Lou doesn’t seem to realize that this is a set of horrible jokes at the expense of made up people.

OK, enough already. In the same way, the symphony might use its No. 1 draft choice to replace its fumbling flutist with a Juilliard All-Star. Or, if you want to consider what the draft might do for theatrical companies, the Reportory Theater might gamble on a matinee idol who led the nation in free passes at the U.S.C. School of Drama.

Or they could pay a flutist or an actor on the market like they do now. There’s no advantage to this plan.

Say, you know something’ A culture draft might not be such a bad idea, at that, all jokes and hilarity aside. Just give me a minute, will you please? I have to make an important phone call. Dum-de dum-dum…. Hello, Seattle Opera? Would you please get me the boss, Mr. Speight Jenkins?

What hilarity? Is “Dum-de-dum-dum” the sound phones make in Guzzo’s world? Do the people answering the phones at the Seattle Opera need to be told the name of their artistic director? Like all Lou Guzzo pieces this left me with more questions than answers.

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Here are a few things we learn from gubernatorial candidate Rob McKenna based on this audio taken yesterday before Kemper Freeman’s Eastside Transportation Association:

• He is a “deep deep skeptic of bringing light rail across [the] I-90” floating bridge.
• He “isn’t even sure how it is going to work.”
• He doesn’t understand “fixed rail on a floating bridge.”
• Regardless of his lack of understanding, he “envisions it be shutting down [for] winds.” And this worries him.
• He believes Sound Transit is a “significantly unaccountable regional transportation body.”
• He believes uninformed voters were duped by Greg Nichols in 1998 over the first public vote.
• He definitively sides with opponents of light rail on I-90 saying, “we have lost the key battles ever since.”
• He isn’t sure how to move forward on stopping light rail on I-90 (because of votes and bonding issues), but he is sure he can work with light rail opponents on it.

I need to say this again: Should he be elected, Rob McKenna will be Washington state’s Scott Walker.

There’s a meme in the mainstream media that chalks up these comparisons of McKenna to Walker as “demonetization” (with a figurative roll of the eyes).

In some ways this is fair. After all, aside from McKenna’s single biggest political blunder—joining the A.G. lawsuit against the 2009 health care reform law—he’s been cautious. He has dodged talking policy stands on hot-button issues where his views are likely to be unpopular. I mean, we can be sure McKenna doesn’t like light rail, same-sex marriage, public employee unions, death with dignity, etc. When asked about these things, he dodges. He bullshits his way out of expressing his opinion. He offers little about what a Gov. McKenna would do about particular issues. And, apparently, the state’s media aren’t skillful enough to coax non-weaselly answers from him.

So, we are forced to make inferences by an occasional controversial statement and by the people he endorses. We read between the lines. We parse his weaselly answers to try and understand what he’s dodging. We accept that he is a Republican in a state where moderate Republicans are nearly extinct.

Now we have a new piece of evidence—something stronger than inference from a dodged answer. We’ve know for a long time that McKenna doesn’t like Sound Transit and doesn’t care for light rail. But this is more: Rob McKenna has, essentially, made a campaign promise to work with Kemper Freeman, Jr. and company to find ways of killing light rail to the East Side.

Seems like something Scott Walker would do.

– Transportation Action Agenda

– I’m glad to see the rest of the country realize that Cathy-McMorris-Rodgers is pretty awful.

– Bootstraps.

– Jay Inslee at Bike Works.

– If you only count the Catholics who vote for Rick Santorum, he has 100% of the Catholic vote.

– Mitt Romney is the Etch a Sketch candidate.

Yesterday a Molotov cocktail was thrown at the office door of a Texas state legislator. They haven’t caught the person who did it and it’s not known what the motive was. We do know that the legislator in question, Wendy Davis of Fort Worth, was a woman. She was pro choice and she was a Democrat.

Now we don’t know if this was an unhinged person or if it was political calculation (or both) and obviously people are responsible for their own actions. But these things happen within a larger context. And I hope the people fomenting hatred of women who gloated when Dr. Tiller was murdered will at least consider this as a reason to tamp down the rhetoric.

… An arrest was made late last night. So far everything above stands.

Another Tuesday, another chance to raise a glass and have a laugh over the G.O.P. primary melee.

There have been four Republican primary polls taken in Illinois this year, and they were all taken in March. Here’s what they show:

• Chicago Tribune: 7-mar to 9-mar: Romney 35%, Santorum 31% (+4 Romeny)
• FOX Chicago News 14-mar: Romney 37%, Santorum 31% (+6 Romeny)
• Rasmussen 15-mar: Romney 41%, Santorum 32% (+9 Romeny)
• PPP 14-mar to 18-mar: Romney 41%, Santorum 31% (+15 Romney)

It is possible that the trend of Romney pulling ahead of Santorum is simple polling variability. Or, Santorum might be tanking, big time, from (1) alienating women through his War on Contraception™ and (2) alienating men through his War on Porn™, or both.

War is hell.

Anyway, this is an open thread, so have fun…but, you know, keep it Santorum-approved.

5:40: The polls in Illinois are closed and 15% of the vote is already counted (according to Google after typing “Illinois Primary” into its general search). So far, no signs of Romeny is not getting his ass, um, kicked by Santorum:

• Romney: 54.7%
• Santorum: 27.4%
• Paul: 10.4%
• Gingrich: 6.7%

6:06: As Michael points out in the comment thread…that was quick! The election is called for Romney. Since Illinois does proportional allocation, the interesting question is how badly will Santorum lose. (I was in transit when the election was called, so sorry about the late update.)

6:12: It isn’t impossible for Romney to win the 1,144 delegates before the August G.O.P. convention. It would require a change in momentum for Mitt:

Even after polls close on the last contest, held on June 26 in Romney-friendly Utah, according to an analysis by ABC News the former Massachusetts governor may still be short of 1,144 delegates — the magic number a candidate will need to secure the nomination.

Based on 2008 presidential-primary results, conventional-wisdom expectations, statewide 2010 primary results by county, and polls, a conservative estimate suggests Romney will end this primary season just shy of the 1,144 delegates he’ll need to win.

…or some help from G.O.P. superdelegates:

The Republican Party, however, has its own version of Democratic superdelegates: members of the GOP who will attend the Republican National Convention in Tampa this August as voting delegates, not having been elected or appointed, but included by virtue of their party roles. In nearly every state and territory, the GOP chairman, RNC committeeman, and RNC committeewoman hold this status.

In all, 123 of these superdelegates will attend the Tampa convention — enough to push Romney over the edge if a majority of them support him. Romney already enjoys the backing of 33 of these automatic RNC delegates, included in the 521 delegates ABC News estimates he has won.

Remember during the 2008 Democratic convention how the Republicans criticized the hell out of the Democratic nominating process because of the superdelegates?

Yeah…typical fucking G.O.P. hypocrisy!

6:37: Mmmmm…Mexican pasta! I enjoyed it without reservation….I must hate America.

6:40: According to my sources (namely, Google), just over half the votes are counted:

• Romney: 49.3%
• Santorum: 33.2%
• Paul: 9.1%
• Gingrich: 7.5%

It looks like Santorum is going to lose by double digits. Even so, how pathetic is Gingrich!

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Please join us tonight for another evening of electoral politics under the influence at the Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally. Tonight is the Illinois primary and, in addition to the G.O.P. presidential primary entertainment, there are a number of important primary races that could affect the balance of power in the House.

Seattle DL meets every Tuesday at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Our regular starting time is 8:00pm, but feel free to show up earlier to catch the earliest election returns.

I’ll be live blogging the results at horsesass.org.

Can’t make it to Seattle? There is also a meeting tonight of the Tri-Cities chapter.

With 231 chapters of Living Liberally, including twelve in Washington state and six more in Oregon, chances are excellent there’s one near you.

– Nothing like financial lectures from The Seattle Times.

– What Everyone Should Know About Trayvon Martin

– I missed the earthquake over the weekend.

– Who would want a tour of anything with Dick Morris?

– The let doctors lie bills are among the most awful of the horrible anti-abortion bills.

– National Council on Education for the Ceramic Arts means there will be exhibits throughout the area.

– The question on everyone’s mind.

Look, having 2 first district elections (one for the old seat from certification until the new seat is filled and one for the new) is a bit strange. But people can figure it out. Or as The Seattle Times implies: the dummies who vote will get all confused.

U.S. REP. Jay Inslee already has confounded 1st Congressional District voters by quitting his job, leaving constituents unrepresented in the months ahead. The Bainbridge Island Democrat leaves Congress this week to devote more time to running for governor.

Hey, remember when I said I thought the legacy media types who were always asking for Inslee to talk more about local issues would like that move? Whoops!

1st District residents would vote to fill the seat for December. Voters in the new 1st District would pick the two-year representative.

Bad idea. Too confusing for everyone.

You know how when an initiative that The Seattle Times agrees with passes they’re all about the will of the people will of the people will of the people? Those people will apparently be too confused by one election with Goodspaceguy and some people looking to get their name in the paper and one with the actual candidates. People on Bainbridge will apparently think they get two members of Congress now. Really, who cares?

– creatures that spread terrible diseases by sucking human blood or which eat the food out of poor children’s bellies are villains I’m happy to spend money against.

– One Bus Away is pretty rad.

– The Democrats need to stand for something.

– This Charles M. Blow piece on Trayvon Martin is just heartbreaking.

– This is super tacky.

– And God looked upon the penis, guns, trucks, bishops, and Republicans and said “It is good.”

Last week’s contest was won by Coosboy. It was the roundabout pictured in the opening credits of the British version of The Office in Slough, England.

This week’s contest is a location somewhere in Washington state. Good luck!

1 Timothy 5:11-15
As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.

Discuss.

Thom: Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly.

Ann Telnaes: John McCain responds to HBO’s Game Change.

Pap with John Nichols: The Wisconsin Uprising.

Comcast Newsmakers interviews Gov. Christine Gregoire.

The Republican War on Women™

• Olbermann with Molly Ball on Republican opposition to the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act.
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Abused wives should stick it out?!
• Ann Telnaes: The G.O.P Crusade against women.
• Young Turks: Romney, “I’ll get rid of Planned Parenthood”.
• Thom: Tell your boss why you are on the pill.
• Jennifer Granholm: GOP must stop their war on women
• Stephen: The plot against Rush.
• Olbermann with Lewis Black on Rush Limbaugh.
• Young Turks: Santorum, “Raped women should accept the gift of a child”
• Mitt: Wrong for women
• Tweety interviews Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-WA) on Republican’s refusing to fight violence against women.
• Sam Seder: Conservatives’ viscious attacks on women
• Jon: The cultural battle for supreme vulgarity.
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: ‘Papers Please’ birth control policy
• Mitt Romney wants to eliminate Planned Parenthood.
• Jennifer Granholm and Tracy Clark-Flory: Mock bills threatening men’s rights offer comic relief—and perspective.
• Ann Telnaes: PA Governor, “You can close your eyes.”.

Mark Fiore: Koney or Baloney.

Jon on Syrian President Assad.

White House: West Wing Week.

Tom with some Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly.

Thom: Somewhere Grover Norquist is freaking out.

Martin Bashir: On Sarah Palin and vetting.

The G.O.P. Freak Show Continues:

• Stephen on candidate’s speech pattern.
• Martin Short belts out a Romney anthem on David Letterman (via Indecision Forever):
• Ed: The charlatan right wing media battling over presidential nomination
• Lawrence O’Donnell: Inside the 2012 Republican ‘3 ring circus’
• Newsy: Newt ignores calls to drop out.
• Young Turks: Santorum’s War on Porn™.
• The G.O.P. big encounter.
• Pap: Why Republicans hate their candidates.
• Mitt foregos Medicare, but Seniors need it.
• Jon on last Tuesday’s primaries (via Political Wire).
• Sam Seder: Rick Santorum to Puerto Rico: Speak English!
• Young Turks: Romney gets into a fight with FAUX’s Megyn Kelly.
• Ed: The three stooges.
• Stephen: Santorum’s wild Southern night.
• ONN: Romney & Santorum supporters to beat the living shit out of each other for Montana Primary
• Actual Audio:Mitt goes Southern.

Liberal Viewer: FAUX News “Recording Cop” story forgot First Amendment.

Maddow does Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) on climate change “hoax” (via Indecision Forever).

Obama on American Energy.

Thom: The Good, the Bad, and the Very, Very Ugly.

Sam Seder: Dick Cheney fears Canada!

Jennifer Granholm and Ann O’Leary: What you need to know about Obama’s health care reform law.

Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Santorum and his war on porn.

Young Turks: Racist bumper stickers.

Comcast Newsmakers: State Sen. Ed Murray (D-43) on marriage equality:

Maddow: Ronald Reagan’s 1982 tax hike was the biggest ever in America’s history.

The Daily Show: U.S. cutting off funding for UNESCO.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.