HorsesAss.Org

This is comical:

Kentucky Republican Senator Rand Paul said during a Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee hearing Wednesday that those who believe in a right to healthcare actually believe in slavery.

…

“Basically, once you imply a belief in a right to someone’s services — do you have a right to plumbing? Do you have a right to water? Do you have right to food? — you’re basically saying you believe in slavery.”

In this country, we have a right to be tried by a jury of our peers. We also have a right to a defense attorney. These are widely accepted rights that no one questions. Yet, to Senator Paul, serving on a jury is slavery, as well as being a public defender.

– Newt is running.

– And well, OK, I guess I won’t take Newt Gingrich seriously.

– What the fuck, Judy Clibborn?

– Florida outlaws sex with humans (among other animals).

– The incentives for steroid use in Baseball have changed pretty dramatically in the last few years, but I’m not sure I buy this argument entirely.

Goldy notes the irony of suburban screw Seattle people who support sub area equity getting screwed by it (while getting a deserved jab at Rob McKenna).

Of course, that’s not how “sub-area equity” was originally billed. No, McKenna and other backers pushed it as a way to protect the rest of the Sound Transit taxing district from evil/greedy Seattle, which otherwise would have presumably sucked in all their tax dollars to build transit here. How’s that working out for you, Federal Way? Be sure to appropriately thank Mr. McKenna for his head-up-ass transit balkanization policy when he runs for governor in 2012.

Of course that’s true enough. But I was actually a bit surprised. Typically, cities do better than suburban and exurban areas in public transit funding. King County pays Seattle more for Metro than it gets back, for example. Schemes like 40-40-20 and sub area equity tend to hurt Seattle, but typically the more dense an area is, the better suited for public transit. The better suited for public transit, the more public transit there is.

If the cities were a drain on the rest of the state or county, schemes like sub area equity would make a bit of sense. But we only seem to get them on things like transit funding that benefit urban areas. Somehow, we never hear about the need for sub areas to pay for themselves on a whole host of state and county things that Seattle pays the bulk of.

If going back a few decades, the state had sub area equity for road building, we could afford to have that gold plated tunnel I keep hearing about. If we had sub area equity in education, Seattle and other King County school districts wouldn’t have to pass so many bonds. If we had sub area equity in social services, Seattle could move toward ending homelessness for real rather than just talk about it, sometimes. If King county had sub area equity for road building, I doubt very much that we’d have had to close the South Park bridge. If we had sub area equity for police, directing them to trouble spots like Belltown wouldn’t be so difficult a choice for McGinn. If we had sub area equity for sewers, well maybe when I say I’m going to the throne, it wouldn’t be a metaphor.

Of course, there are good reasons not to have sub area equity in those things. Rural King County needs those cops too; I’ve been very grateful for rural King County cops on a number of occasions. The entire state benefits from educating children in areas that don’t pay as much in taxes. I just wish we could see the benefits in the areas where Seattle and other urban areas don’t pay as much as they get back.

There’s been another flurry of activity with the medical marijuana mess. Here’s some of the latest news:

– A new bill, SB 5955, has been introduced. This bill crafts rules around “nonprofit patient cooperatives”, limiting them to 10 members. It also allows for local jurisdictions to ban them if they so choose.

– The bill requires that each cooperative register with the Secretary of State’s office. This once again illustrates the point that Gregoire’s fear-mongering over state employees being arrested was nonsense. Having state employees do this is no different than anything that was in the original bill. I can only guess at why the governor felt she had to lie in order to force this bill to be written exactly as the police and prosecutors wanted.

– The CDC is outright opposed to the bill, and it’s not likely that the Washington Cannabis Association will support it either. Both organizations are concerned that these patient cooperatives will end up banned in most of the state, and therefore all of these coops will be based in Seattle. There’s no accurate count of how many medical marijuana patients there are in Washington, but many believe that it’s more than 50,000. If that’s the case, at 10 people per coop, this bill would attempt to concentrate that entire distribution network throughout 5,000 private homes. That’s simply assinine.

– On the legal front, Attorney General Rob McKenna’s office replied to Rep. Roger Goodman and 14 other House Representatives hoping to get some clarity on the medical marijuana situation. The response was a dodge, as McKenna essentially refused to provide an opinion at all on the three questions. Goodman released a brief statement today saying:

I am disappointed by Attorney General Rob McKenna’s non response to the questions that I and other lawmakers posed.

Voters approved medical marijuana. People with cancer and other diseases rely on it.

And we deserve honest, candid answers from our state’s attorney general about new legislation and the legitimacy our state’s law with respect to the federal government.

But the answers we got back weren’t answers at all. McKenna delegated a staffer to give us back page after page that said nothing.

McKenna’s refusal to weigh in on this is not very surprising. His longstanding views on medical marijuana only serve to exacerbate his hypocrisy when it comes to the Affordable Care Act, and I wouldn’t expect him to throw any more logs on that fire.

– The ACLU sent a letter to Attorney General Holder asking him to clarify that nothing has changed with Obama Administration policy and that states who regulate medical marijuana will be left alone. As this relates to the legislation here in Washington, however, this seems irrelevant. As I mentioned above, Governor Gregoire clearly isn’t all that worried about state employees dealing with medical marijuana. The new bill still has state employees dealing with medical marijuana. And even long before this session, the state Department of Revenue launched a statewide effort to collect taxes from dispensaries. In fact, Ben Livingston mentioned that when this was brought up in a closed-door session among the stakeholders, the folks from the governor’s office were caught off-guard by that fact. They didn’t even seem to know that was happening.

This talking point about state employees being arrested first came up back in February out of the mouth of Christopher Hurst, whose mouth is permanently loaned out to the police and prosecutors of this state. This bullshit about state employees being at risk appears to have been the plan for police and prosecutors to scuttle this thing all along. And sadly, we have a governor who just so happens to be stupid enough to fall for it.

Why show up at Drinking Liberally tonight?

• To share good news
• To contemplate the break-ups
• To gawk at the carnage
• To celebrate HA’s 7-year blogoversary
• Yes…there are trillions of reasons to join us tonight

So please join us tonight for an evening of politics under the influence at the Seattle chapter of Drinking Liberally. We meet at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Starting time is 8:00 pm, but feel free to join some of us for an earlier dinner.

Not in Seattle? There is an excellent chance you live close to one of the 224 other chapters of Drinking Liberally.

HorsesAss is no longer a toddler…at seven, it has entered its childhood years.

It all started on May 10th, 2004, with a post titled Comedy is easy, politics is hard. (This is one of the rare instances where Goldy ended his title with a full stop.)

Last year, a reporter asked me why I thought so many people were willing to donate time and money to what was obviously a joke initiative. I glibly replied that politics was boring, and that my “horse’s ass” initiative gave people the opportunity to get involved, while having a little fun at the same time.

Washington state politics is particularly boring — oh not just because it’s full of numbers and legalese and the usual wonkish stuff like that — but because we happen to be blessed with some of the most boring politicians in the nation. There’s a reason a lying, thieving, blowhard like Tim Eyman commands so much media attention: he’s an interesting lying, thieving, blowhard.

Goldy goes on to explain how the relaunch of Horsesass.org as a blog was to create a playground for the puckish Goldy, rather than the serious (and somewhat boring) David:

Now I know some might find this split between the politically prankish Goldy and the politically earnest David a little arbitrary… or even weird. So to those upstanding members of the political and media establishment who insist I cannot possibly expect to maintain my credibility as an activist while producing an irreverent and outrageous blog, the Goldy half of me respectfully says: “fuck you.”

Of course, the David half of me effusively apologizes for what the Goldy half just said. There’s absolutely no excuse for that kind of language, and given the opportunity David might attempt to explain to this “haughty, humorless prick” (my words, not his) that he should excuse Goldy as a sort of stage persona, somewhat like Tim Eyman, who publicly portrays himself as a lying, thieving, blowhard, but who in the comfort of his own home, rarely steals anything. David might also privately intimate that Goldy has the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old, and amuses nobody but himself. Or perhaps that he’s insane.

(Or maybe just a tad bit schizophrenic?)

Ahhh…yes. Goldy’s first post and a fuckiferous one at that.

HorsesAss has definitely left its mark on politics, beginning with Goldy’s level-headed and prescient analysis of the Gubernatorial election contest, his investigative post on David Irons’ hands, the post about FEMA cronyism
that exposed the incompetence of the Bush administration and their response to Katrina, the sad story of former Commissioner of Public Lands Doug Sutherland’s well documented sexual harassment of a young DNR employee, and so much more.

Goldy now writes for The Stranger, which is good for Goldy, but maybe not so good for HorsesAss. Speaking for myself…politics and comedy can be damn hard! I know, I know…it shows.

These seven years have produced 9,270 posts, or an average yield of 3.6 posts per day. That’s a lot of bloviating and muckraking!

A defining characteristic of HA has been its comment threads. Early on, HA became a troll magnet, sucking up all of the natsy, stupid, lameass, or just downright crazy wingnut kookballs from the rest of the regional blogosphere (and beyond). Comment threads on other blogs around here were relatively clean as the nutcases got their excretory relief by repeatedly shitting in the HA comment threads.

To date there are about 479,200 comments, averaging a remarkable 52 comments per post. Clearly, the comment threads have served as a creative or emotional outlet for a great number of people beyond the trolls. As a writer, I do draw inspiration from the comment thread participants. Your thoughtful comments have enlightened me and helped me understand issues better. Though I am reluctant to admit it, I sometimes write for the trolls—usually to induce apoplexy cum froth. And my efforts are frequently rewarded with the intended reaction. So thank you readers, comment thread participants and even you asshole trolls!

The seventh Blogoversary of HorsesAss is a celebration for us all!

I think we can all agree with the maxim, always, always, start with a worn out cliche. But I don’t need to tell that to one of the most respected newspaper editors in Seattle history (true fact, kids, you can look it up). Well done Guzzo:

Colonel George Quixby tapped the buzzer at his desk, and in seconds the door to his office opened to let in his secretary, Jean Marshall. She was a sight for sore eyes — or for any eyes, for that matter, and the colonel smiled, as he always did when she entered. They had been a working team for more years than he could count, and he hoped it would go on for ever — as well it might thanks to the latest experiments at the U.S. Science and Space Center he commanded.

Sight for sore eyes, I’m glad they’ll still use that phrase in the future. More important, can Quixby not count very high? My cousin’s kid impressed us all at a Mother’s Day get together with his ability to count to 100, and he’s 4. The next paragraph says they’re 50 and 74, almost 75. So Quixby can’t count half as high as a 2011 4 year old.

Also, we’re a paragraph in and I’m pretty sure Quixby is Dixy, you know, in the future and a man. The only question now: is Guzzo Jean Marshall? OK, another question: how up its own ass can the first page get?

The advances in human living they’d seen in the previous century and the early 2200s might have read like a science-fiction novel to their American neighbors a century or two earlier.

You’re writing it, dummy.

Anyway then someone from Illinois calls to complain about the fact that the Space and Science Center has the same initials as the Nazi SS. Ignoring the center part, I suppose. He threatens to blow the center up (even though it’s in New Mexico) but don’t worry, they soon find out it wasn’t that the person doesn’t like Nazis, it’s that the Space and Science Center made his wife younger, and she left him. Telephones still exist in 2220, and they can be traced by some random secretary, so that’s awesome. Then Quixby reminisces about the fact that people can live longer and reads that they might be able to live forever. Quixby and Marshall talk about how good it will be to live forever. Jet packs were invented in 2185 because they had just invented hydrogen fuel, so no cars. But don’t worry, the trucking industry still survives, for now:

The colonel paused a moment to draw a deep breath, then continued. “Only the large cargo-carrying vehicles — for example trucks, cargo planes, and cargo ships — survived and, in fact, did very well with the roads and highways all to themselves. Maybe we’ll soon find a way to make them obsolete if our experiments here at the Science Center materialize. Downstairs in the lab our people report their longtime research will soon bear fruit. They are sure they can transmit any solid object molecule by molecule from one site to another — even across oceans. What was once pure science-fiction is now reality.

First off, original ideas for science fiction: Jet packs and transporters. Second, if you’re thinking maybe I took the part where Quixby is most condescending to his secretary, let me assure you that I skipped the part where he calls her (and remember she’s 50) a “good girl.” So, no, explaining that cargo ships carry cargo isn’t as bad as it gets. Third, do planes and ships use roads in the future? Fourth, the most exciting thing that happens in the whole chapter is someone calls in from another state and then someone in that other state talks to him.

Then Quixby takes a nap. End of chapter 1.

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– This post brought back strong memories of doing flash cards with my mother on the train to her parents’ house.

– This is 100% factual.

– Freedom!

– This looks like a hoot, but I’ll be at Drinking Liberally tomorrow.

– I wouldn’t say genius.

– I’m sure glad we voted for a Republican house, or we might never get a vote on this shit.

So, a little background here. Over at the old blog, one of our favorite people to goof on was Lou Guzzo. He wrote strange rants about how rock music was ruining things, how billboards were ruining things, and how Democrats not named Dixy Lee Ray were ruining things since FDR turned the party all socialist. Fun stuff. In addition to writing odd columns for his webpage (and before that writing in and editing the P-I!), he’s written several books. This science fiction nonsense looks like it’s the best (I mean worst, obviously) of the lot. I plan to go through it Deeky style over the next several weeks.

Anyway, spoiler alert, I think I have a pretty good idea of the plot based on this post. We’ll dive in shortly, but today, a few thoughts on the book before I start to read: “The Amazing World of Tomorrow: Is It Really Science-Fiction?”

Does he think that we might think the “World of Tomorrow” might not be science fiction? The Amazing World of Tomorrow, is this Really Historical Fiction? wouldn’t work. Anyway, the legal disclaimer clears up the fiction part “All characters in this book are fictions, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.” So I guess the question: is this science? And I’m going to go ahead and guess the answer: no.

Also, I’m not sure who this book was written for. It’s 100 pages of relatively large type. Perhaps this is supposed to be young adult fiction? I don’t see anything to indicate that Guzzo thinks it’s for young adults, or frankly, knows people exist who were born after 1977 (if I’m generous). Maybe he just ran out of steam.

Last week’s contest was won by Luigi Giovanni. It was Edmonton, Alberta. Thanks to Dan for the link.

Here’s this week’s, the location is related to a movie or a TV show. Good luck and happy Mother’s Day!

VP Biden and Pres. Obama visit troops at Fort Campbell:

Pap and Ed: Dick Cheney helped Pakistani terrorists.

White House: Cinco de Mayo!

News on Wasserman Schultz’s election as DNC Chair.

Osama bin Gotten:

• President Obama has an announcement:
• Maddow on situation room photo.
• Jon: Big Deady.
• Young Turks: Rush credits Obama???
• Barely Political: Obama uncensored on it.
• Thom with John Amato on Bin Laden’s death.
• Newsy: How will this affect the 2012 elections.
• What was Obama thinking at the White House correspondence dinner (via Crooks and Liars)?
• Thom: Where is the death certificate?
• Cenk: FAUX News latest lie, “liberals are upset about bin Laden’s death”
• Olbermann: Special comment on the death of OBL
• Young Turks: Glenn Beck’s nutty conspiracy theories.
• Thom on the death of bin Laden & its impact on US/Middle East relationships.
• Bush reacts to OBL’s death (via Crooks and Liars):
  
• Newsy: Was bin Laden’s burial kosher?
• Thom: Should Bin Laden have had a Muslim burial?
• Liberal Viewer: Obama getting Osama proves O’Reilly wrong?
• Mark Fiore: So long, and good riddance!
• Young Turks: Obama was right about Pakistan.
• Ed: The only credit Bush deserves is a life term…
• Sam Seder: How much did Pakistan know?
• Newsy: The team that took out bin Laden.
• Jon: To Kill a Mockingturd – Pakistani Intelligence (via OneGoodMove).
• Young Turks: How Republicans try to take credit away from Obama
• Obama lays a wreath at Ground Zero.

Newsy: The pat down heard around the world.

ONN: Predator drone cortmartialed for Afghani civilian deaths.

Pap with Brad Friedman: US Chamber — A modern day mafia.

Osama/Obama Gaffes:

• Obama out to kill Obama.
• President Obama is dead!

Maddow: G.O.P. defends big oil subsidies.

Second City: Atlas Shrugged, Pt. II

Young Turks: Michele Bachmann blames Obama for her dumbass mistake.

Photo Finish:

• Newsy: Should photos be released?
• Jon on the photograph.
• Newsy: Photos will not be released.

O’Donnell: God & same-sex marriage.

Young Turks: G.O.P. abandons Ryan’s Medicare plan.

Sam Seder: Reagan raised taxes says Reagan’s budget director.

Second City: Obama 2012–NEW AD!:

Dems picked the right person.

ONN: Obama befriends rich elderly widow in hopes she will put nation in her will.

FAUX News boots G.O.P. presidential hopefulls

Pap: The Ayn Rand disease on America.

Torture Chronicles:

• Young Turks: Torture not used to find bin Laden.
• Sam Seder: Nope…torture wasn’t involved.
• Young TurksFAUX host mocks torture.
• Amy Goodman: In fact torture slowed down USA efforts to find Osama
• Young Turks: Rummy flip-flops on torture.

Thom: We are in the cancer stages of Reaganism.

White House: West Wing Week.

Sam Seder: Bush passes on ground zero invite.

The First G.O.P. Presidential Debate:

• Sam Seder: The G.O.P. presidential debate.
• Young Turks: The ‘dumb bigot’ presidential candidate.
• Maddow: Ron Paul weird
• Sam Seder: Herman Cain at the 2012 G.O.P. presidential debate and a response to Ron Paul supporters
• FAUX News’ canned GOP debate segment.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Brendan Kiley’s feature article in The Stranger on SPD’s long and expensive undercover sting within Seattle’s alternative community is an incredible piece of work. And it’ll be the first thing I point to the next time SPD complains that they need to hire more officers. I’ll believe it when they finally stop spending millions of taxpayer dollars on pointless fishing expeditions like that.

– Dear Sarah Palin,

Don’t try to use a semicolon; you’ll only embarrass yourself. And yes, the odd punctuation is like the 4th worst thing about this tweet.

Love, Carl.

– This is the most depressing story I’ve read in a long time (hat tip here and here, it’s the story of a rape, and while the link isn’t gratuitous or sensationalist, it may be triggering or not safe for work).

– And speaking of things that make me sad for Texas high school kids, what ABL said.

– I’m surprised this happened so in the open.

– This looks like a lot of fun, Tacoma people.

The Seattle Times has an opinion piece* claiming “Washington Legislature should get serious about budget solutions.” Then they proceed to act like spoiled assholes.

THE value of the two-thirds requirement to pass a tax bill is amply demonstrated by most of the revenue bills offered in Olympia.

The value of writing in the active voice has never been demonstrated by The Seattle Times.

There are a few exceptions. Being heard Wednesday is Senate Bill 5947, sponsored by Sen. Tracey Eide, D-Federal Way. This would repeal the sales-tax exemption for bull semen and fuel for heating chicken coops. We have been hearing Democrats talk for years about these breaks as if they were big and important. The Republicans should do the gracious thing and vote yes. The bill, however, raises only $5 million a year, which is about two ten-thousandths of the state budget.

The Republicans won’t. Because they fuck bulls and are worried about having to pay taxes. There, I said it. Prove me wrong, Republicans, but as long as you vote against this tax hike that even The Seattle Times supports, that must be why.

Anyway, The Seattle Times calls in their headline for the Leg to “get serious” and then throws out a misleading number. Who cares what percent of the budget we’re dealing with? Tell us the percent of the budget hole. That, while still a small amount, comes to much more (the special session is to fill the budget hole, after all).

Also being heard is SB 5945, sponsored by Sen. Phil Rockefeller, D-Bainbridge Island. It raises $245 million a year. But it raises all preferential rates of the business-and-occupation tax by 25 percent, whether the preferences make sense or not. It wipes out a preference for first mortgages. This bill raises 50 times more revenue than the first one, and is much more difficult to justify.

A serious discussion demands that we reinflate the housing bubble while we cut Basic Health, K-12 Education, and Higher Ed. Anyway, they go on, with the same nonsense mentioning a proposed tax increase and then saying something stupid. Why call for a serious discussion and then not even try for seriousness?

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The world’s worst editorial board just barfed all over the internet again. Let’s see if we can tally up the inaccurate statements and complete nonsense in their latest embarrassment.

Washington’s carefully restricted policy on medical marijuana – enacted by voters in 1998 – got along fine for 10 years without attracting much notice from the U.S. Justice Department.

No, it didn’t. In fact, it got along so poorly that most patients struggled to find a reliable source of medicine, patients who tried to grow for themselves often got fucked, and those who tried to provide for others out of a sense of compassion were putting themselves at significant risk. The law was a gesture of compassion by voters that was never followed up with a workable system.

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