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It’s another exciting evening of the Republican Reality Show, and we’ll be livebloggin’ it from the Montlake Ale House—at least to the extent that the news cycle, media availability and social environment allow it.

Tonight’s episode takes place in Mississippi and Alabama, where primary elections are happening, and Hawaii and American Samoa, where caucuses are held. Here are some details:

• Alabama: The state has 50 delegates and splits them proportionately. Something like eight polls have been done in Alabama just this month. The very first one was won by Rick Santorum. Gingrich has squeaked out a lead in two. Romney has led in five polls, although all five polls come from the Alabama Education Association (which may or may not be relevant). It seems like almost anything can go in Alabama. If I had to bet, I’d go with Mitt, but fingers crossed for someone crazier….
• American Samoa: The polls are…. Oh, Wait…there are no polls in American Samoa. I mean, who the fuck cares about American Samoa? Mitt Romney does, that’s who! He LOVES the place. The Oceans are the right height. He loves the little bits of land that dot the place. The owner of Samoa is a personal friend of his. It’s his favorite Girl Scout cookie. And he loves the nine delegates the joint could bring him. Oh…and he loves the Mormons that make up 1/4 of the population. Yeah, Mitt won’t go without at least one “victory” tonight. More insights can be found here.
• Hawaii: The candidates used the caucus as an excuse to send their kids on a Hawaiian junket. Romney dominated his opponents at 24% in the only Hawaii poll. Unfortunately, that poll was taken in October. And Herman Cain beat Romney at 36%. So who the fuck knows. My hunch is that Santorum and Gingrich are not very appealing to Hawaiians (there’s a Hawaiian pizza joke in there somewhere). Ron Paul will try to usurp the caucus process…and will fail because Hawaii’s G.O.P. caucus is only open to registered Republicans. My hunch is that Romney is most likely walk away with the lion’s share of Hawaii’s 17 proportionally allocated delegates.
• Mississippi: Forty delegates are at stake in Mississippi and only a couple of recent polls go on, both taken this month. One poll has Romney up by +8 and a more recent poll has Newt leading by +2 Overall…it looks like a toss-up. Let’s hope so.

So, there you have it. Almost anything goes in the South, but Romney takes the South Pacific.

Go to town in the comment threads.
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Please join us tonight for an evening of electoral politics under the influence at the Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally. We’ll be watching the latest episode of the G.O.P. Reality Show as the returns come in from the Michigan and Arizona primaries, and the Hawaii and American Samoa caucuses.

Seattle DL meets every Tuesday at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Our regular starting time is 8:00pm, but feel free to show up earlier than that to catch the earliest election returns.

I’ll be live blogging the results right here from the Montlake Ale House.

Can’t make it to Seattle? You’re in luck…there are DLs meeting all over Washington state. Tonight there are also meetings of the Tri-Cities, Bellingham, and Vancouver, WA chapters. The Tacoma chapter meets this Thursday. And next Monday there are meetings of the Woodinville, Olympia, Yakima, and Shelton chapters.

With 231 chapters of Living Liberally, including twelve in Washington state and six more in Oregon, chances are excellent there’s one near you.

Dick Cheney has cancelled an appearance scheduled for April in Toronto out of concerns for his safety:

Cheney, whom the protesters denounced as a war criminal, was slated to talk about his experiences in office and the current American political situation at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre on April 24.

What kind of Canuckian WMD will keep Cheney in his undisclosed location, secure and cozy in his bunker?

Last Sept. 26, Cheney’s appearance in Vancouver was marred by demonstrators who blocked the entrances to the exclusive Vancouver Club.

The activists, who at one point scuffled with police, called for Cheney’s arrest for war crimes and booed guests as they arrived at the $500-a-ticket dinner.

One man was arrested for choking a club staff member.

Ruppert said the “thugs” put everyone at risk and forced Cheney to remain inside the club for seven hours until police were able to disperse the protesters and deem it safe for him to leave.

Oh. My. God. Trapped inside a club for seven hour!

That must have been torture!

– More GOP races today? I think Rick Santorum wins Alabama and Mississippi. Romney wins Hawaii and American Samoa. That means we’ll be up pretty late to hear his victory speech.

– I appreciate the intent behind these sort of bills to get us talking (and obviously, I’m linking to it here continuing the discussion) but surely there’s a better way to go than joke laws that would objectively be worse policy to object to actual laws that are terrible policy.

– Anyone going to the official reopening of the Burke-Gillman Trail?

– Anyone going to Chocolate for Choice?

ASFCME’s most important endorsement ever.

– If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the other room banging my head against the wall.

The charitable thing to says is that they are the latest casualties of the right-wing political propaganda mill. But, you know, that kind of explanation needlessly feeds a Culture of Victimhood. They wouldn’t approve.

So let’s just come out and call ’em stupid. “They” are about half of Republican primary voters in Mississippi and Alabama.

Public Policy Polling polled these folks on, among other things, what they think Obama’s religion is, Christian, Muslim, or “unsure.” The result are, um…peculiar (via HuffPo):

Alabama survey of 600 likely GOP primary voters found that only 14 percent placed the president [as a Christian], while 45 percent said he is a Muslim and 41 percent answered that they were not sure.

A similar picture emerged in Mississippi. Of 656 likely GOP primary voters surveyed, 12 percent said Obama was a Christian, 52 percent classified him as a Muslim, and 36 percent fell in the “not sure” category.

It’s pitiful! On the positive side, this should get rid of Obama’s Rev. Jeremiah Wright “problem”.

When I see stupidity of this magnitude, it makes me think that Michele Bachmann’s warnings about Obama’s reeducation camps was really a big ol’ cry for help….

– Make Pullman a National Park

– Bus Driver Appreciation Day is coming up.

– A hell of an uptick in campaign spending.

– Occupy West Seattle protesting Chase tomorrow.

– Hug Gate goes all the way up to the Queen of England.

– The Huskies deserved a spot.

Last week’s contest was won by Liberal Scientist. It was Charlottesville, VA.

This week’s contest is from a TV show or a movie, good luck!

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Discuss.

You guys, the Republicans are still doing this shit. Can’t it be the brokered convention yet? Darryl doesn’t seem to have posted anything so here’s your results curtsey of me, several hours late.

Kansas:

Santorum 15,290 Votes 51.2%

Romney 6,250 Votes 20.9%

Gingrich 4,298 Votes 14.4%

Paul 3,767 Votes 12.6%, but his supporters will probably make up some delegate math that proves they won.

I can’t find the numbers for Wyoming but apparently Romney won it and also Guam Virgin Islands, and Abramoffville the Northern Mariana Islands.

Here’s the press release I got emailed today.

Democratic candidate for governor, Jay Inslee, today announced that he will step down from his seat in Congress to focus full time on his campaign and talking to voters about rebuilding Washington’s economy and creating jobs for the nearly 300,000 people still out of work.

“I am excited about focusing full-time on talking about my job-creation agenda and building a new economy for Washington state,” Inslee told a group of supporters at his campaign headquarters today. “We have a great chance to seize our own destiny, build our own industries, and create our own technological revolutions right here at home.”

“I am not one for half measures or half-hearted efforts,” continued Inslee. “I am going to leave everything on the field. I am going everywhere and I am going to listen to everybody. If you have an idea, I want to hear it. If you have a problem, I want to know it. If you have a business, I want to help you grow it. I am all in.”

Inslee, who is currently leading in fundraising and running neck-in-neck with his opponent based on recent polls, said he made the decision very recently after watching the GOP presidential nominees visiting Washington with what Inslee described as a “divisive social issues agenda” and then seeing state Republicans offer budget proposals that slashed education funding.

“It was a difficult decision, but what I need to do right now is focus all my attention on talking to people about what’s really important – creating jobs and growing our economy,” said Inslee.

Inslee’s resignation is effective March 20.

For what it’s worth, while this will probably play well with the legacy media who are always complaining he’s talking about national issues, I can’t say I’m thrilled with it. I know going back to DC and here to campaign is a pain in the ass, and God knows you want to not associate yourself with Congress to the extent possible. But I don’t think the best way to ask for the next job is to quit the one you’re in.

Also, does anyone know if there’s going to be a special election to fill the seat or if it stays empty until after the November election? Also also, what happens to constituent services until there’s another member of Congress?

Obama: Manufacturing.

The Republican War on Women™:

• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Bachmann’s fear of a one-child policy
• Newsy: VA Governor signs pre-abortion ultrasound bill
• Young Turks: Abortion tax.
• Ed and Pap: Limbaugh is mentally impotent
• Ann Telnaes: Gov. McDonnell (R-VA) signs ultrasound bill.
• Young Turks: Megyn Kelly accused Georgetown student Sandra Fluke of acting like a victim.
• Rush Limbaugh sings an apology.
• Keith on Rush.
• Actual Audio: Rush v. Women
• Jon interviews Planned Parenthood’s Cecile Richards
• Jonathan Mann: Rush Limbaugh Death Star Song
• Sam Seder: Limbaugh attacks women, this time over being educated.
• Ann Telnaes: Limbaugh Apologizes.
• Thom: Time to protect Rush.
• Young Turks: Are Bill Maher’s jokes about Sarah Palin as offensive as Rush Limbaugh?
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: The Republican Purity Pledge.
• Ed and Pap: Limbaugh’s comments divide GOP.

Joe the Plumber’s bizarre CNN interview.

Alyona: How to FOIA yourself.

Mark Fiore: On The Table.

State Sen. Hatfield (D-19 LD) on the “Roadkill Caucus”.

Sam Seder: Michele Bachmann fears U.S. one child policy.

Hug-Gate!!!!

• Buzz60: Hannity’s Breitbart video.
• Jon on the video of Obama that they don’t want you to see.
• Sam Seder: Obama + Harvard + Hug = Breitbart’s BIG SCANDAL
• Young Turks: The secret Breitbart tapes.

White House: West Wing Week.

Thom: Even more Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly.

Ann Telnaes: AG Eric Holder on targeted killings.

Jonathan Mann: KONY2012 and AFRICOM Song:

Young Turks: Obama understands the American people don’t want war in Iran.

Thom: Republicans propped up by Daddy Warbucks.

The Republican Primary ClusterFuck:

• Susie Sampson’s Tea Party Report: Super Tuesday.
• 1MinuteNews: Super Tuesday recap.
• Funny or Die: Double negative political ad.
• Pap: Why GOP voters hate their candidates.
• Mitt Romney: Against individual mandates except when he’s for them.
• Sam Seder: Ann Romney doesn’t feel rich.
• Young Turks: Can Mitt get enough delegates?
• Mitt Romney’s distortions about Obama on Israel.
• Stephen on Mitt’s Super Tuesday failure.
• Jon: Mitt’s underwhelming Super Tuesday wins.
• ONN: Romney flaunts his wealth to impress voters
• Alyona’s Tool Time Award: Santorum’s Housing Problem
• Susie Sampson’s Tea Party Report: Santorum highlights.
• Newt Gingrich: Newt Gingrich is the Pro Wrestler of Politics
• Newsy: calls mount for Gingrich to drop out.
• Alyona: Ron Paul’s biggest donor.

Thom: The Good, the Bad and the Very, Very Ugly.

Obama: Americas Energy.

Jonathan Mann: Super Tuesday Song.

Stephen: The DOJ’s license to kill.

Rep. Jay Inslee (D-WA-01) questions Secretary Chu on Biofuels and Hanford Land Transfer.

Thom: More Good, Bad, and Very, Very Ugly

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Liss has the details.

A person identifying as a woman and/or having a uterus shall retain all of the full, basic, and fundamental rights of a US citizen as guaranteed by the Declaration of Independence—life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Congress and the States shall make no law that infringes upon a person’s life, including but not limited to access to life-saving or life-improving healthcare, and/or medicines and procedures deemed necessary or beneficial by a medical professional and/or by the person having the uterus, procurement of which shall not by denied in and of itself by the presence of a uterus. Congress and the States shall make no law that infringes upon a person’s liberty, including but not limited to autonomy over hir own body and the ability to make decisions regarding hir own healthcare. Congress and the States shall make no law that interferes with a person’s pursuit of happiness, including but not limited to access to a full spectrum of reproductive options, freedom from forcible reproduction, and the ability to make decisions regarding family planning and family resources.

Please sign the petition in support of the Personhood Amendment here. Once it has 1,000 signatures, it will be delivered to Senators Patty Murray (WA), Al Franken (MN), and Kristen Gillibrand (NY) with a request to introduce the proposed amendment into the legislative session.

It’s hard to believe, but another initiative from initiative peddler slut, Tim Eyman, has been struck down by the state Supreme Court:

Local voters can’t ban red-light cameras by initiative, the state Supreme Court said Thursday in a ruling that dampens efforts around the state to banish the cameras.

The court ruled that the Legislature gave “exclusive power” to local city and county councils to decide whether to use the cameras.

This brings up the question, why is Tim Eyman dabbling in pedestrian, local issues like red light cameras?

The battle against the intersection cameras is organized and cheered by Tim Eyman, who over the past decade has made a career of pushing anti-tax initiative campaigns. Red-light cameras are a new cause for him, and one he believes has widespread appeal beyond party affiliation.

“Appeal beyond party affiliation”? Huh…it sounds to me like money is drying up for Eyman—his wealthy right-wing Johns have grown weary of dumping boat-loads of money into his efforts only to experience failure at the ballot or have his initiatives overturned by the courts.

Eyman is forced to take it to the streets and sell himself on the local street corners. You know…in the red light districts.

The Reproductive Parity Act was a casualty of the budget bullshit. But there’s going to be a special session, and the people who pushed it during the regular session are pushing it again.

The bill died in the state senate last week, when several Democrats voted along with the minority Republicans to oppose the bill. Although the legislation failed 26-23, it could be resurrected in a special session, which seems all but inevitable now given Republicans’ and Democrats’ inability to come to consensus on the state budget after the GOP staged a surprise budget coup last Friday night.

The senators Planned Parenthood is targeting are: Jim Kastama (D-25), who is running for secretary of state and who voted in favor of gay marriage; Steve Litzow (R-41), a onetime NARAL board member who has historically voted pro-choice; Rodney Tom (D-48), a former Republican; Cheryl Pflug (R-5); Andy Hill (R-45); and Curtis King (R-14).

Planned Parenthood Votes Northwest has a way to contact your legislator with a pre-made letter. I think it makes more sense to find your legislator here and write your own.

I miss making fun of Sharkansky, so here’s some nonsense that took me about 30 seconds of Googling to find that it isn’t correct.

The Seattle Times Nicole Brodeur’s column today is thoroughly hysterical — in all three senses of the word — “Politics again playing tough with women’s bodies”

It’s 2012, and the battle for control of the American uterus rages on …[Rush Limbaugh] reignited a new national debate about how women can maintain ownership of, and responsibility for, their own bodies.

Of course, neither Limbaugh nor anybody else of consequence is advocating that government restrict access to contraceptives, as Brodeur implies.

First, if you can’t get contraceptives because they’re priced out or unavailable on religious grounds, that’s the access to them restricted, even if it’s not the government restricting them. But second, and to the point he’s trying to make here’s Rick Santorum, winner of the second most GOP contests for president this year, on birth control:

One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country. It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.

Anyway, I was just going to make fun of that, but what the hell, I’m already here. Let’s make fun of the rest of Sharkansky’s word salad.

Brodeur’s central premise is that women can “maintain ownership of, and responsibility for, their own bodies” only if the federal government forces third parties to provide free birth control supplies.

The government forces third parties to do all sorts of things. I’d prefer universal single payer, but this improves the current system that in many instances means people who might want to use birth control don’t have that choice.

How is this different from the proposition that people can’t take responsibility for brushing their own teeth and wiping their own rear ends without a federally-mandated supply of free toothpaste and toilet paper?

Who the hell gets priced out of toilet paper and toothpaste? If brushing your teeth or wiping your rear end* cost in the order of magnitude that prescription medicines like birth control, then we’d need a more equatable way to distribute them in society. It would be bad for the people who couldn’t wipe their butts, of course, but it would also be bad for society to have lots of shit covered asses around stinky and unhealthy. That would be one solution, I guess.

God this is a stupid metaphor, but pressing on. If 58% of people who used toothpaste used it for reasons other than (although sometimes including) dental hygiene then it would probably also be more important that society make sure it was available to everyone.

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