If there is one thing that Americans can agree upon and rally behind is that Elvis Presley was the King.
So it’s just plain ol’ good, smart politics for Rep. Michele Bachmann to head down South today to help celebrate Elvis’ birthday:
Only one problem. It’s a small wrinkle, but one we shouldn’t overlook…today isn’t the anniversary of Elvis’ birth.
It’s the anniversary of Elvis’ death.
Holy shit…someone’s been taking stupid lessons from Sarah Palin!
It’s an election night! This time it’s in Washington (but Wisconsin, too). So get that ballot postmarked by today or take it to a drop box. Then, please join us for another evening of election-watching under the influence at the Seattle chapter of Drinking Liberally.
We meet at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Starting time is 8:00 pm, but a few folks will show up before then for dinner.
Can’t make it to Seattle tonight? Drinking Liberally Tacoma meets this Thursday, 7:00pm at the Hub Restaurant. The Shelton Drinking Liberally meets next Monday 6:30pm at the Grove Street Brewhouse. And the Everett chapter of Drinking Liberally meets at the Buzz Inn in Snohomish next Monday at 7:00 pm. There are 234 chapters of Living Liberally, including thirteen in Washington state and six more in Oregon.
The Washington Post’s Jonathan Bernstein makes a couple of good points today. First:
Here’s what you need to know about the Republican candidate field: this is it. No one starts running for president in August, less than six months before the voters start getting involved in Iowa and New Hampshire, and has any chance at all. At least, it’s never happened since the modern process has been fully in place (say, by 1980).
He does suggest that Sarah Palin could be a quasi-exception, because she has been running for President—in her quirky, Wasillaly way. (I think she started her Presidential bid in September of 2008, after realizing that there would never be a President McCain.)
So if you are a Republican, don’t hold out for a savior in Rudy Giuliani, Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, The Donald or even John Bolton’s mustache. 
The second point:
What you’re upset with isn’t the candidate — it’s the party. It’s inconceivable that anyone could get the Republican nomination while using anything but solid Tea Party rhetoric on pretty much every issue. They’re all going to claim that taxes should never, ever, ever be raised no matter what, that half of what the government does is evil or unconstitutional or whatever, that the scientific consensus on climate is some sort of crazed conspiracy, and so on down the line.
In other words, the Republican Party has vacated the center for the fringes. The party hasn’t really moved to the traditional right-wing, fiscal and social conservative fringes. Rather they seem to have moved to some fringe in another dimension: a fringe in which validation and proof comes from the emotional reaction an idea evokes; a fringe where facts that don’t pass the “feels good” test are dismissed; a fringe that is largely divorced from the everyday wants and needs of Americans.
Frankly, the only candidate that stands out from the fringe is Mitt Romney—a candidate who is seriously flawed by his numerous position reversals, and a candidate that comes of as totally disingenuous every time he spews a talking point. Even with these flaws, chances seem high that Mitt will succumb, first and foremost, to right-wing religious bigotry….
The 2012 presidential contest took an interesting twist this weekend. One lackluster candidate, a former governor of a mid-west state, dropped out after being unable to upgrade his image to “presidential class” and, more importantly, after not finishing first or second in the Iowa straw poll.
And another candidate, after months of great anticipation, jumped into the race with high praise and huge expectations.
You know what this reminds me of? The summer of 2007, and the Tale of Two Thompsons.
Former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson was an early Republican candidate in the 2008 race. I guess he though his gubernatorial experience (elected four times), his experience a Bush cabinet member (Sec. of Health and Social Services), and his small town “charisma” would make him a natural in the eyes of Iowans.
After practically living in the state for months, poor Tommy placed sixth in the August Iowa straw poll. The next day, he dropped out of the race.
This is eerily similar to the Tim Pawlenty story. Pawlenty is 18 years younger, and has far less political experienced than Tommy Thompson. What they both lacked was presidential charisma. Nobody had any idea why either one of them was running for President.
The other Thompson that ran in the 2008 campaign was former Senator and actor Fred Thompson. Good ol’ Fred, teased for months and months. He eschewed the Iowa Straw poll, and didn’t officially declare until the first week of September, 2007. He was immediately placed among the front-runners. It seemed the Republicans had found their next Ronald Reagan….
Ol’ Fred was briefly the darling of the Republicans—at least, the ones paying attention to the primary. But it quickly became apparent that Fred just wasn’t up to the task. He came off as a tired old dog that just needed a front porch. He withdrew toward the end of January, 2008. (Parodies of his withdraw—here, here, and here—were among my favorites of the 2008 campaign.)
This is the problem with finding a “savior” that nobody knows anything about.
And that seems analogous to the lateish entrance of Texas Governor Rick Parry Perry. Everyone knows he prays and he is a fundamentalist. A few folks may remember his hint of a Texas secession, which sounds too extreme to be real. Republicans would likely attribute it to an attention-getting, teabagger upgrade to Ronald Reagan’s “…the government is not the solution to our problems; government is the problem.”
Ahhh, yes, the Republicans have found their new Ronald Reagan. The don’t really know him, but the love him anyway.
And here is where the analogy with Ol’ Fred ends. Because Gov. Perry isn’t a tired old dog. Rather, he is a fucking extremist! I am talking an order of magnitude more extremist than Rep. Michele Bachmann (a.k.a. Ol’ Crazy Eyes).
Ezra Klein has an excellent, and quite positive, review of Perry’s book, “Fed Up!: Our Fight to Save America from Washington.” Klein highly recommends the book. In it, Perry lays out his extreme “State’s right” position that would remove the federal government from civil rights protections, labor laws, creation of a minimum wage, environmental regulation, gun regulation, Medicare, Medicaid, and education.
This is a level of extremism that is not acceptable to the majority of Republicans, and is likely threatening to the Republican establishment. Hell…it’s pretty much too extreme for FAUX News. Perry has about the same chance of winning the nomination as fellow Texan Rep. Ron Paul does.
If Obama is lucky, it will take many months until Republicans figure out who Perry really is.
To some extent, each major Republican candidates has “issues” that make him or her unacceptable to big chunks of the Republican base. In 2008, McCain was chosen because he was the least unacceptable candidate, and he performed better than any other candidate in most head-to-head polls against Clinton, Obama, and Edwards.
Acceptable choices for the Republicans seem even more limited this cycle.
Yesterday CNN’s Don Lemon was roughed up by Michele Bachmann’s thugs. And the “thugs” included Michele’s totally not gay husband Marcus:
“She came out, after speaking for just a couple minutes,” Lemon said. “There were other reporters and cameras there. And I asked her very respectful questions: ‘How do you think you did in the debate last night?’ and ‘How do you think you’re going to end up in the Ames Straw Poll?’ And her two campaign aides started elbowing me.”
Lemon continued: “I told them, asked them not to elbow me. And then her husband Marcus started doing the same thing. And then he elbowed me into the cart. And I said, ‘You just pushed me into the cart.’ And he goes, ‘No, you did it yourself.’
“It was just, I don’t know, why they would choose to do that. We weren’t asking any ‘gotcha’ questions,” Lemon added.
Why, indeed!
I’m left wondering…is Don Lemon blacklisted by the Bachmann campaign? And if so, is it because he is gay? Or because he is black? Or both?
Either way, Don Lemon just needs to cool off and accept personal responsibility for their actions….
Thom: The Good, the Bad and the VERY, VERY Ugly.
On Wisconsin:
White House: West Wing Week.
Sam Seder: Al Franken confronts anti-gay group’s lies.
Olbermann with Markos: Obama’s “plan” to destroy the Mittster.
Stephen: Liberal media’s big temperature.
Sam Seder: How the American Legislative Exchange Council uses taxpayers money to destroy our government.
Commissioner Dean Foster on redistricting Washington.
Following the Hostage “Situation,” S&P Downgrades U.S. Political Process:
Greenman: This is not cool—heatwave 2011:
Thom: Is FAUX News now a bastion of Socialism?
Rep. Michael Burgess of Texas resolves his way to Worst Person in the World.
Obama: Celebrating Ramadan at the White House.
The Onion: Week in Review.
Ed with some major psychotalk from Hannity.
Sam Seder: Job are missing from the discussion in Washington.
The week in presidential campaign.
Olbermann: The GOP downgrade.
Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA) on workforce investment act.
The GOP Primary Funny Farm:
Young Turks: Another gay Republican hypocrite.
Greenman: Lord Christopher Monckton brings the crazy to New Zealand.
Second City: The Bachmann Institute for curing gayness : .
Obama at Johnson Controls battery plant.
Thom: The Good, the Bad and the VERY, VERY Ugly.
The Friday Funnies.
“Concerned parent” Amber Hahn is Worst Person in the World.
Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.
Why was the credit rating of the U.S. downgraded by S&P? An S&P director explains in unambiguous terms:
…[O]ne reason the United States lost its triple-A credit rating was that several lawmakers expressed skepticism about the serious consequences of a credit default — a position put forth by some Republicans.
Without specifically mentioning Republicans, S&P senior director Joydeep Mukherji said the stability and effectiveness of American political institutions were undermined by the fact that “people in the political arena were even talking about a potential default,” Mukherji said.
“That a country even has such voices, albeit a minority, is something notable,” he added. “This kind of rhetoric is not common amongst AAA sovereigns.”
In other words, the Republican party has become so fringe, that they jeopardize the fiscal health of the United States.
Yeah…it’s just a minority of Republicans. But the rest of the congressional Republicans didn’t have the intestinal fortitude to stand up to that nut-case minority. Instead, they permitted—indeed, they fully participated in—the process that sank into a chaotic battle of ideology that brought the U.S. to the brink of default.
Congressional Republicans tangibly harmed the U.S. In doing so, they failed to live up to their oath of office.
I just finished watching the Republican debate. And…Wow!
No, not “wow” about the debate. That was pretty much formula. Political debates have become as formulaic as TV sitcoms. And this debate could be, perhaps, the archetype of political debates. We had a stage full of people who want to be President of the U.S. and they were parroting bullshit lines fed to them by political consultants, designed to invoke an emotion.
Let me explain. As a teen, I was given some bullshit advice about how to win a woman’s heart. “In an early encounter, you must evoke a strong emotion from her. It doesn’t matter if it is pity, or lust, or anger, or fright, or extreme nausea. Just make it extreme. Because later on she’ll only remember that you stirred her passions.” (No…I’m not endorsing the idea….)
Contemporary political consultants must have all heard that same story. That’s what the candidates were doing all evening. Trying to evoke a little anger, patriotism, angst, fear, disgust, etc.—hoping to connect with voters so that the only thing they remember the next morning is how much candidate X stirred their passions.
The problem is, they all did it and it was formulaic. It was generic political sitcom. Tim Pawlenty was transparently engaging in it—he came off as a total buffoon. Michelle Bachmann was just off…she seemed detached and robotic. At one point, coming back from a break, she wasn’t at the podium! She came scurrying back whilst on camera. WHAT. THE. FUCK. (My guess is she was in the middle of a debilitating migraine and puking her guts out in the restroom. But who knows.)
There were two exceptions to the robot-a-thon. Newt Gingrich did less of it than the rest. He seemed much more earnest and analytical in his answers (even if the underlying ideas are lousy).
And Ron Paul was certainly passionate and genuine and honest. After all, madness has it privileges!
None of that was the “wow” part.
The “wow” part was the “Spin Room” post-debate circle-jerk on the FAUX News livestream. (Were they on TV too? Beats me. I don’t have a functioning TV in my house.) The “wow” part is that they said many of the same things about candidates I just articulated. No…worse, they outright savaged each and every one of the candidates. They savaged the debate format. They savaged the questions. They made the excellent point that none of the candidates on the stage inspired people to the point of personal sacrifice and devotion. Its because none of them showed real leadership—just formulaic sitcom bullshit answer after answer.
And so I am in the hugely embarrassing position of agreeing with a panel of fucking FAUX News infotainers, none of whose names I know or even remember. (In fairness…they probably don’t know who I am, either.)
Here’s the thing. Newt would lose because he is a deeply flawed person. Ron Paul would lose because he is a nut-case. And all of the rest of them would lose because they are a “relationship of convenience” to Republican voters. Just like Bob Dole, who was “their guy”. He was ok-ish. “he’ll do.” Blah.
And that’s just not good enough.
What we have on the Republican side is a group of people who desperately want to be President, but haven’t given Republicans a good reason why. George W. Bush got away with the sitcom-like formula, but times were good.
Not so much right now.
6:30: The polls closed at 6:00 West coast time, so the results are slowly trickling in. As of 6:30, the advantage goes to the Republicans, who lead in every race with a small proportion of the precincts reporting.
You can follow the results here or here.
In a normal election I would point out that early returns typically favor Republicans. But this is no normal election!
6:50: Hmmm…the 32nd Senate District between Kapanke (R) and Shilling (D) is now a tie with 21% reporting. (But no time stamp change?) Kapanke is considered the most vulnerable of the six Republicans undergoing a recall.
6:55: Another results page.
6:57: Results are given as cool graphs here. (Well…they’ll be cool when more results come in anyway.)
6:59: With 24% reporting, Kapanke (R) surges to +2….
7:12: And with 26% reporting, Shilling (D) surges back to lead Kapanke by +2.
7:15: With 67% reporting in the 2nd senate district, Cowles (R) is leading Nusbaum (D) 59% to 41%. Cowles is obviously going to win. This is a seat that nobody thought was winnable for Democrats anyway.
7:19…in fact, I just saw a Tweet saying the AP has called it for Cowles. Score: Democrats 1, Republicans 1.
7:29: The Harsdorf (R)-Moore (D) race in the 10th district has been called for Harsdorf. Again, no surprise in this race.
7:34: In district 8, with 18% reporting, Pasch (D) is leading Darling (R) 57% to 43%.
7:36: Back in the 32nd, with 45% reporting, Shilling now leads Kapanke 53% to 47%. If results hold, Dems will take two seats away from the Republicans.
7:42: In the 18th, with 19% reporting, King (D) leads Hopper (R) by less than 1%. The exact tally: King 7,464, Hopper, 7,368.
7:54: With 95% reporting in district 14, I think we can call Olsen (R) over Clark (D). The score is 54% to 46%. This gives Republicans three wins. One Democratic incumbent is safe (from a previous election). The three remaining races tonight are the ones people thought would be close. Two look favorable for the Democrats and one is exceedingly close.
8:15: The race in the 32nd has now been called for Shilling (D). The current total is Shilling 55, Kapanke (R) 45% with 82% reporting.
8:37: In the 18th, King (D) now leas Hopper (R) by 27,123 to 25,951, which is 51% to 49%. That is with 97% of precincts reporting.
8:17: With 87% reporting in the 18th, the race remains incredibly close with King (D) 24,458 leading Hopper (R) 24,321.
8:31: Now with 63% reporting in the 8th, Pasch’s (D) lead over Darling (R) has shrunk to 51% to 49%.
It’s an election night!
Not so much in Washington. But it is in Wisconsin, where a series of recall elections are taking place against six Republican incumbent state Senators. The latest polls suggest that two, and maybe three, Democrats will win. But the elections are unprecedented in the modern era of polling, so anything could happen.
Please join us tonight for an evening of election-watching under the influence at the Seattle chapter of Drinking Liberally. We meet at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Starting time is 8:00 pm, but a few folks will show up before then for dinner and early election returns.
Can’t make it to Seattle tonight? There are 233 chapters of Living Liberally, including thirteen in Washington state and six more in Oregon. Here are some other meetings over the next week:
If none of these works for you, consider starting a new chapter that does.
Do you remember what we learned about Jane Hague the last time she ran for the King County Council sixth district seat?
KUOW‘s Amy Radil has an interesting profile of the candidates for this seat. The story begins with a reminder:
Jane Hague was first elected to represent the Eastside on the King County Council in 1994. She’s always won reelection fairly easily, despite some personal mishaps. Mostly recently, in 2007, she was arrested for driving under the influence. And her then–opponent revealed that Hague, King County’s former elections director, did not have a college degree from Western Michigan University as she’d claimed.
Hague denied ever intentionally deceiving anyone about her education.
But a public records request from King County shows that Hague put a Bachelor of Science degree from Western Michigan University on her resume when she applied for the elections job in 1986.
You can listen to the audio version here:
[audio:http://www.kuow.org/mp3high/mp3/News/20110808_ar_hague.mp3]
So, besides getting pulled over and arrest after blowing a 0.14, an incident in which she verbally abused the arresting officers, we also learned that Hague got her career in government started by lying about having a college degree on her application for King County’s manager of records and elections.
And somehow the fake degree perpetuated:
But Hague denied intentionally providing incorrect information and initially said she was puzzled at how several “Who’s Who” books, The Seattle Times, the Municipal League of King County and the National Association of Counties all reported erroneously that she had a bachelor’s degree from Western Michigan University.
Two things. First, let’s not forget the real victim here. Until this became public, the lack-of-degree secret must have been a horrible burden for Jane. Imagine knowing you built your entire career on a fabrication that your political opponents could easily uncover.
I mean, a burden like that can drive one to drink!
Second, electing Jane Hague to King County Council after she lied to get an appointment to King County Elections Director, seems akin to…well, sort of like hiring the person who just robbed you as your Head of Security.
I think it’s likely that Jane Hague and Richard Mitchell will be the top two coming out of the primary. But let’s not make it easy for Hague. If you’re eligible to vote for this race, be sure to vote…for someone other than Jane.
Get that ballot off your kitchen table and into the mailbox!
AC: S&P–GOP largely responsible for downgrade.
Colorado Congressman Doug Lamborn is Worst Person in the World.
Young Turks: Romney SuperPac Scandal?
Andrew Breitbart penile gratitude:
Glenn Beck is back in the saddle as Worst Person in the World.
Liberal Viewer: FAUX News anti-Muslim, pro-Christian on Norway shooting?
Thom: The Teaparty takeover you don’t know about.
Pap: Karl Rove’s plan to win back the Whitehouse.
King 5 News: Republicans accuse Jay Inslee of illegally trying to move funds from congressional campaign.
Senator Joe Lieberman is Worst Person in the World.
Raising the Ceiling:
White House: West Wing Week.
Handy Handl emerges victorious as Worst Person in the World.
Sam Seder and Al Franken: Republican obstructionism.
Pap: The Republican assault on labor reaches new lows.
Hannity beats out Cantor, Boehner, and Gingrich for Worst Person in the World.
On Wisconsin:
Young Turks: Rent is Too Damn High eviction.
How would Congress screw in a light bulb?
Twelve ways to tell Michele Bachmann from Sarah Palin.
Pap: The religious right gear up for 2012.
Vote Connor Ratliff for President: He’s 35 years old:
Maddow: The suspicious birth of Barack Hussein Obama.
Thom: The good, the bad, and the very very ugly.
The Torture Chronicles:
Newsy: Congress ends FAA stalemate…for now.
Jon: Biracial Spiderman et al..
Young Turks: Renton police department try to criminalize cartoon.
For 2012: Boehner—Weiner
Pap: How Obama let Rove off the hook
Thom: Why the stock market plunged.
Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.
When Bill Clinton left office in 2000, he left us with a roadmap to paying off the U.S. debt by 2009.
George W. Bush came into office and he decided to defer on paying off the debt. He proposed and got huge tax breaks. And we fell back into deficit spending.
Not only that, but Republicans went on an unprecedented spending spree. They started a couple of costly wars without doing the responsible thing and take in new revenues to cover the costs. They massively increased military spending. They passed an unfunded health care reform (the Medicare prescription drug benefit). Essentially, under Bush, Republicans spent like a pack of meth addicts with a pile of stolen credit cards.
By 2008, the Republicans had failed to follow Clinton’s roadmap toward a debt-free U.S. In fact they had added $4 trillion to the national debt. And the economy tanked.
Whether you believe the economic collapse was completely Bushes fault or not, the inability to implement a proper economic recovery was the fault of Republican policies during the Bush years. The $10 trillion debt that George Bush left us with placed severe constraints on, and even foreclosed upon, many possibilities for using our credit for a bold recovery effort.
Under Obama, the Republicans have done almost nothing beneficial for American. Their sole goal has been to obstruct Obama, even when their actions are terrible for America. Most recently, they held us all hostage, taking us to the brink of a debt default.
Republicans, through their recklessness, have failed to be good stewards of our country. They have placed Republican political gain ahead of America.
Today S&P cut the long-term U.S. credit rating by one notch from AAA to AA-plus. S&P cited a lack of faith in the political process as part of their downgrade decision.
Nice job Republicans! You fucked up the debt repayment, you spent us into the ground, you trashed the economy, and now you’ve fucked up the credit rating of the U.S.
al Qaeda must be proud of you!
So…why is it that Republicans are not considered enemies of the United States?
Crosscut‘s Erik Neumann has in interesting piece on the importance of Washington’s growing Hispanic population for the next gubernatorial election:
At 755,790 people, Latinos are Washington’s largest and fastest growing minority, currently making up 11.2 percent of the state’s population, according to the 2010 Census. Some counties are predominantly Latino, with Adams County at 58 percent Latino and Franklin at 50 percent. (By comparison, King County is 8 percent Latino.)
[…]According to [UW political science professor Matt] Barreto, Latinos typically favor Democrats 3-to-1 over Republicans. He adds, however, that there is an ideological split among Latinos to consider. “They tend to identify as conservative, but the vote tends to be Democratic.”
(As an aside, Neumann mostly uses the term Latino instead of Hispanic. The New York Times considered which term to use as part of their coverage of the confirmation hearings for Judge Sotomayor, and decided either is acceptable in most contexts. I tend to use Hispanic, unless discussing an individual or group with a known preference for Latino or Latina)
The most recent poll in the Washington gubernatorial race by SurveyUSA provides crosstabs by race/ethnicity. About 6% of all respondents were Hispanic, which seems about right considering that a chunk that 11.2% Hispanic population cannot vote, either because they lack citizenship or are under the age of 18. (As the Crosscut article points out, Washington’s Hispanic population is a young demographic).
The survey found that Hispanic respondents overwhelmingly choose Inslee over McKenna, 84% to 10%, with only 6% undecided. By contrast, the same survey found among the 8% of respondents identifying as Asian or “other”, 52% to 37% support for Inslee over McKenna, with 11% undecided.
Clearly, Washington’s growing Hispanic population will benefit Inslee and, more generally, Washington Democrats.
The implications for GOTV initiatives are clear.
This is going to be interesting:
The Renton City Prosecutor wants to send a cartoonist to jail for mocking the police department in a series of animated Internet videos.
The “South-Park”-style animations parody everything from officers having sex on duty to certain personnel getting promoted without necessary qualifications. While the city wants to criminalize the cartoons, First Amendment rights advocates say the move is an “extreme abuse of power.”
[…]KIRO Team 7 Investigative Reporter Chris Halsne holds a key document that really lays bare the city’s intent. The document was quietly filed in King County Superior Court last week. It’s a search warrant accusing an anonymous cartoon creator, going by the name of Mr. Fiddlesticks, of cyberstalking (RCW 9.61.260). The Renton Police Department and the local prosecutor got a judge to sign off as a way to uncover the name of whoever is behind the parodies.
KIRO found two of the nine or so cartoons, here and here.
Apparently, the cartoons never identify individuals, or even the name of the police department. Basically the satirist did a brilliant job playing on people’s insecurities, to the point of provoked them into seeking revenge. Nice.
The complaint suggests this the author has engaged in cyberstalking. What. The. Fuck.
Unless there is some forthcoming bizarre twist in this story, it simply will not stand up in court. The ACLU is already itching for a fight:
The cyberstalking law is designed to protect individuals from serious harassment by other individuals, not to protect government from parodies by employees. People have a right to speak anonymously on the Internet, and employer-employee issues involving YouTube satires should not be pursued as criminal matters. We would very much like to hear from the individual who posted the parodies so that we can know more about the facts of this matter.
Clearly, the Renton police department is using a bullshit argument to get a search warrant to “out” the author (who they suspect is an insider). The author won’t be convicted of cyberstalking, but then that isn’t really the point, is it? The point is to extract revenge.
In other words, the Renton police department is administalking a person exercising their first amendment rights.
I’m sure the courts will do their job and find the author not guilty of cyberstalking. With a bit of luck, they will also rule in favor of the author in the inevitable follow-up civil lawsuit.
Will the press do its job? Will the press allow the Renton police department to get away with this bullshit? If they really do their job, this incident will result in many embarrassing internal affairs revelations, findings of abuse of power, and whatnot. Sounds like they have a “problem of internal culture” in the Renton PD.
And if the blogosphere does its job, the Renton police department will become a target. There will be many more satirical cartoons. There will be essays ruthlessly mocking Renton Police Chief Milosevich (yeah…that’s his name!), and whoever the fuck else is involved in this stupidity.
I haven’t tried one of those “make your own animation” tools yet, but this sure has me tempted!
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