When KVI host Kirby Wilbur used his radio show to announce a 30% Property Tax Cut initiative, my reaction was admittedly knee jerk. Washington’s public schools rely on property taxes for 100% of their state and local funding; how could our children possibly afford such a dramatic cut? I was outraged.
But once my knees stopped jerking, I decided to step back and take an objective look. So I steeled my bleeding heart, threw out my assumptions, and delved into the numbers. And what I found surprised me:
Wilbur’s tax cuts may be exactly what our schools need.
I will explain. But first, the numbers.
The Paradox
There are a little over one million students enrolled in Washington public schools, an increase of about 100,000 since 1993, and while annual state spending per student has risen during that time, it has consistently lagged behind inflation. Indeed, Washington’s total per pupil spending now ranks 43rd nationally.
Yet, as funding declines, public demand for increased K-12 spending remains steady. In November 2000, voters overwhelmingly passed I-728, calling for class size reduction, and I-732, granting teachers annual cost-of-living adjustments. And polling data consistently shows that voters believe education spending is growing too slowly.
But tax-cutting initiatives have proven equally popular, so it is not beyond the realm of recent experience to imagine Wilbur’s 30% tax cut measure passing in the fall, slashing about $2230 per student annually from the average school district’s budget.
So how do we honor the will of the people—as conservative talk radio so often demands—when the people contradict themselves? Simple algebra. Solve to x.
If per student spending is too low, yet taxes are too high, there can be only one answer:
We have too many students.
The Proposal
It has been said that a child’s mind is a terrible thing to waste, but the same is true of a child’s body. I have been assured by culinary experts in several obscure internet chat rooms, that in flavor and texture a school-age child compares quite favorably to pork, and is equally versatile and nutritious. Properly prepared, it would be virtually indistinguishable in a taco filling or sausage patty… or perhaps as a substitute ingredient in “turkey” tetrazini.
And with one third of students now qualifying for free or reduced price lunch, it only seems fair that overburdened taxpayers turn toward the student body to help offset the cost of this growing public subsidy.
Fortunately, thanks to the WASL test, a mechanism for culling the herd is already in place. For example, if only those students scoring in the bottom 10% of the WASL were harvested to supply the school lunch program, per-student funding would instantly be restored to 1993 levels.
And the benefits don’t end there.
With 100,000 fewer students, class size would drop an average of two students per room, dramatically improving the learning environment while significantly reducing the cost to fully implement I-728. Average WASL scores would rise substantially, simply by eliminating the low end of the curve. And of course, surviving students would be treated to tasty, protein-rich school lunches that bring new meaning to the phrase “you are what you eat.”
But perhaps the greatest benefit would be motivational, for students will be much less likely to slack off when they know that their Sloppy Joe is eponymously named.
Of course, the 10% cut-off is merely an example, and we can likely achieve a similar return on disinvestment while sacrificing fewer children. After all, many of our lowest scoring students are those with special needs — the most expensive to educate — and thus the source of the greatest potential savings. And merely enacting this policy would shave thousands from the rolls as less civic-minded parents moved their children to schools in Oregon, California, and other states with lower academic standards.
Now I know some might find this policy harsh, or even distasteful. But it would be equally harsh to leave our children ill prepared to compete in the global economy, and we simply cannot attract enough qualified teachers without finding the money to pay a competitive wage.
The math is simple. If Washington citizens are serious about improving education, serious about reducing class size, increasing teacher pay, and raising test scores, then we must increase per student spending. But if voters are equally determined to slash taxes… well then… I thank Wilbur and his cohorts for opening my eyes to the harsh reality of this dog-eat-dog world.
And so I offer my modest proposal in the hope of sparking a much needed public debate, and I trust that it will be received in the spirit in which it is intended.
And yes, this is a slightly updated version of an unpublished, pre-blog column from 2003, but it’s just as relevant today.
Let them eat – children!!!!
Yeccch! Distasteful to be sure.
But a perfectly logical consequence of the wingnut mentality.
This makes voting tooo easy…. of course Iam voting yes. If we are going to have liberal guvmint then why pay for it. My only complaint is that it is too small of a cut. Oh, well we will just have to pass more initiatives.
Mmmmmm…tastes just like…
chickenPORK!This makes voting tooo easy
Thanks for reminding me.
Here’s one of your right wing fantasies:
http://web.archive.org/web/200.....ac4vr.com/
And here’s the reality:
http://ac4vr.com/index.php?id=5
Eat shit cur!!
Of course you could have the Seattle school board run all the screwls in Washington state and you wouldn’t have to worry about 100,000 fewer students because the parents would yank 400,000 students out voluntarily. hehehehe
Jane’s dog:
Do you have a jurisdiction in mind which is more careful with their money that you might want to point out as an example, or do you just like to sit here and complain about being overtaxed until your burden goes to zero, at which point you will complain the fire department doesn’t work, the police don’t come, and the roads are broken.
I have no complaints. I paid about $1500 in taxes for the last three months that I worked in the United States, but received a $4500 refund AND a stimulus check. As Yakov Smirnoff used to say “I love this country!”
Perhaps you need to hire a better accountant. Then you wouldn’t be griping so much.
I think they’re way ahead of you, Goldy. I’ve noticed some strange meat in Mrs. Rabbit’s taco salads lately. Yes, it tastes like pork … but it doesn’t look like pork. When she said she bought it at a school bake sale, I didn’t believe her at first, but now I don’t know … and it’s green.
Funny how the current crop of Republicans, who are the biggest public money wasters of all time, complain about how much education costs. They are living proof that, as the bumper sticker says, “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”
Nothing in the universe is more expensive than a Republican with a taxpayers’ credit card.
We’re being taxed for a Cadillac school system and being given a Yugo. The State underfunds schools, the districts skim the bulk off the top for “management” and the classrooms get bupkis. The Teachers Union defends the crap teachers driving the good ones away. Or, more recently, plays power games and loses a 13+ million dollar grant.
And since Dems have had the legislature and governorship for most of the last 20 years, they are at fault – despite how much y’all wish it was the big scary Republicans.
A story in Newsweek’s online edition says a study of nearly 1 million 401(k) accounts “found that 69 percent have inappropriate risk or diversification of holdings and 36 percent have worrisome concentrations of company stock. In addition, one-third of savers aren’t putting enough aside to qualify for the full company matching contribution.” (Quoted from Newsweek under fair use.)
And Republicans want you to trade Social Security for private investment accounts?!! I hope they’re ready to pay a lot of taxes for food stamps.
Social Security is more than retirement benefits. It’s also disability and survivors insurance. And for three quarters of a century, Social Security has paid every penny of promised benefits on time.
And Republicans call Social Security a “ponzi scheme” and want you to entrust your retirement to Wall Street … ?!!!
@11
Only one thing wastes more tax money than a Republican…
A Democrat.
@13
Congress will raise the retirement age or lower benefits or some combination of the two AFTER the baby boomers have gutted the system and there’s nothing left.
I will have payed SS taxes my entire career and get nothing in return.
@14 The lonesome cry of a wingnut howling at the moon … no Democrat even comes close to the borrow-and-spend Republicans …
@15 Poooooor baaaa-beeeeee!!!! (Fast forward 30 years. Guess who’s first in line at the Social Security office to collect his checks? Why, our very own Delbert! And yes, those checks will be there — come hell or high water. Can’t necessarily say the same of his private pension or private investments, though.)
Wingnuts slander everything else, so it’s not surprising they slander Social Security, too. But no one is listening.
@15 “payed”
Definitely a private-school product …
The index of Washington State Republican Party ineptitude, decrepitude and feeble puniness is displayed in it’s naked wretchedness by this property tax initiative: We’ve putzed shit up so badly internationally, domestically, economically, morally and otherwise humanly possible that we’d better offer some total half-baked bullshit to deflect the attention of the masses.
Snake oil cool-aid.
. Goldy spews:
And yes, this is a slightly updated version of an unpublished, pre-blog column from 2003, but it’s just as relevant today.
future post! :+:
could come in handy when gardening needs become demanding.
would it be wrong to protest mcpain at bellevue hyatt may 13 at 5pm?
@22, No it wouldn’t be wrong. Slap him in the face with a prune pie.
You know what, I’ve been doing all this research tonight about standardized tests and school accountability and how to make it really work, because I’m studying to become a teacher, but this proposal would just so much easier!
I’d get a paid raise, right?
Unfortunately, those low WASL kids are just a little too lean and stringy.
McSame has promised a civil and clean fall campaign, but if what about his side’s 527 groups? You know, the Swift Boat Liars and their ilk? If he can’t control his own party, why should anyone believe he could control his administration as president? If he can’t get these groups to toe the line, why would any rational voter think he has what it takes to be our military commander-in-chief?
Why should Americans trust a candidate whose top convention aide was the PR man for one of the world’s most brutal and repressive dictatorships?
So, the guy McSame picked to run the GOP convention not only has ties to Burma’s odious junta, but also heads a DC lobbying firm that not only represents companies like Exxon but also pioneered the use of 527 groups to run smear campaigns without dirtying the candidate on whose behalf they were run. And we’re supposed to believe McSame is serious about running a “civil” campaign this fall and reigning in special interests and lobbyists? Methinks “Sraight Talk”* McSame speaketh with forked tongue.
* Definitely a euphemism, if not outright prosecutable false advertising!
Oh yeah, one more thing — the runnerup for the convention job was another lobbyist who worked for, among others, Phillipine Ferdinand Marcos and recently served as chief political consultant to Ukrainian dictator Viktor Yanukovich, a plan of Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. And this is the Republican bunch who claim, with a straight face, that they spent $2 trillion of our tax money and send other people’s children (certainly not their own) to die in Iraq for “democracy.” Methinks they all speak with forked tongues!
Keep in mind that McSame didn’t boot that guy from the convention job. He stepped down only because the media exposed his ties to the murderous Myanmar regime.
Corporations get 5 times as much government largesse as needy Americans. And Republicans don’t even call it “socialism” …
The three pillars of conservatism are cheap labor, ripping off consumers, and government suppression of whistleblowers and reformers.
On April 20, 1914, National Guardsmen and company goons firing on a miner’s camp with machineguns killed 32 women and children in Ludlow, Colorado. The Ludlow massacre led to the legislation that established the 40-hour work week and banned child labor. (In those days, 10-year-olds worked in coal mines.)
Yes the GOP – the PROLIFE GOP would be fine with this proposal. They only care about life when it’s UNBORN. Once you’re out of your mother’s womb, the GOP is okay with death by prison or war or probably school lunch or starvation or through lack of health care. Just not through abortion. Makes total sense. NOT!
Speaking of Taxes—
I filled up yesterday in Montana @ $3.53
In Post Falls, Idaho @ $3.58
And in Issaquah @@ $3.85
I guess this is what we call “Progressive” huh?!! “Progressively” HIGHER & HIGHER Taxes.
I also heard Tim Eyman on a talk show braodcast in Eastern Washington. Tim was brilliantly articulate in his reasoning for reigning in government and how Legislators are now attempt ing make the Constitutional Right to Initiative/Referendum virtually impossible with more restrictive laws.
This could become a huge 2008 Washington Election issue.
I Have Issues
This proposal, coming froma Jewish man who married a Schicksa, is typical of the self hate we endure.
Goldstein, if that is his real name. would conduct a system based on mandatory ocnsump-tion of trafe. Primates, including humans, lack the hooves and secondary stomach needed to qualify as kosher.
Moreover, if this plan were implemented, coming from a supposedly Jewish author, it would immediately bring back the charges of pedicide and virgin sacrifice that were poemulgated so successfully by an earlier generation of Fords. Is it a concidence that Alan McCaulley, former head of Boeing Seattle now heads Ford?
An SJ TRADITIONAL Alternatove
I propose that instead of the Jirby-Goldy plan, we somp;ly [rivatoze tax collection.
@ 36
No, there’s a better solution. Hire substitute teachers to do magic tricks, only they make the kids disappear instead of toothpicks.
Here’s the solution… cut way back on the number of property tax exemptions. There are currently over one hundred different reasons people, companies, and organizations can get out of paying their property taxes. And a lot of people, naturally, take advantage of this, if they qualify. Want more money? Close the loopholes.
Just to stay on topic…
Librul BBQ recipe: children edition
Get the child “dressed” from the butcher unless your using one of your own in that timeless “Do it yerself” tradition.
Eastern NC style (Jesse Helms style) uses the whole carcass as opposed to the Lexington style (Vernon Robinson style) which uses the whole shoulder (Both if it is a small child). Note the Vernon style allows the addition of a few tabelspoons of catsup (ketchup?) to the sauce, but only if your cooking west of US1.
Since most “libruls” do not have a suitable cooker available, plan on constructing your own.
Have a few of the older children dig a pit about 1.5 feet deep about 4 feet long. (If your using the larger children adjust the length, and plan on doing some of the digging yourself)
Go to home depot and get enough 2 ft and 4 ft lengths of rebar to make a grid on the top of the trench. Build your fire from hickory or fruit woods in the trench before laying out the grid and be sure to leave a space at each end to add more coals through out the day. When the original fire is down to coals, spread them out and start cooking. I like to start with a rub of kosher salt, cracked black pepper, moistened with a little vinigar to make it stick. Place butterflied child skin side down and get started on that case of beer.
In about an hour you will need to have another fire going to which more wood should be added as needed to keep a glowing bed of coals under the meat for the next 10 to 15 hours. Keep a spray bottle of vinigar handy to put out spots that catch fire. A more moist “Q” can be made with the addition of a lid to your cooker. A galvinized trash can cut in half from top to bottom makes a dandy cover with a 2×4 through both handles and a nail through the bottom rim. (Note, buy a clean NEW trashcan for this purpose!)
Mop with the sauce as needed (every hour or more often if you have a wife or older children around)
If you pace yourself, your case will not run out before the “q” is ready…
Make sure you have the makings of hushpuppies and coleslaw as well as the CWB* platform on which to serve this traditional fare. You can either pull or chop the meat while mixing in about a cup of the sauce per year based on the age of the child and whether you passed out and let it cook too long and dry out. The sauce and additional beers can make even the orneriest child palatable.
* Cheap White Bun
Just in case anyone doesn’t get the literary allusion:
Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”, circa 1729, whereby he proposed alleviating the poverty in Ireland by serving up Irish children.
Mr. Cynical writes,
“Speaking of Taxes—
I filled up yesterday in Montana @ $3.53
In Post Falls, Idaho @ $3.58
And in Issaquah @@ $3.85
I guess this is what we call “Progressive” huh?!! “Progressively” HIGHER & HIGHER Taxes.”
But, but, but, Cynical…Montana would take 6.9% of your income away from you every year (although they have no sales tax).
And Idaho would grab 7.8% of your income each year AND charge you 6% sales tax.
Washington state has the lowest state income tax in the universe: 0%, with a modest 6.5% sales tax.
Fact is, Mr. Cynical, the State and Local tax burden in Montana is higher than Washington state ($109.41 per $1000 of personal income). Washington and Idaho are almost identical (ID: $105.91 and WA: $105.57 per $1000).
Sheesh…wingnuts!
By the way, Cynical, you might want to check for your name on the Washington state tax delinquent list….
Cynical @34,
Except that… Tim’s a shameless liar. There hasn’t been a serious initiative reform effort in the legislature ever. Ken Jacobsen giving an interview does not equal legislation.
Trust me on this, coming from somebody who passionately supports initiative reform… the only substantive reforms would require a constitutional amendment, and that wouldn’t get anywhere near the floor for a vote, let alone get a majority of votes at the polls. Tim’s pulling this paranoid bullshit out of his ass.
Ira @25,
Any meat is delicious slow cooked with lots of onions.
Why not cook-up some homeless people to feed to the kids … and other homeless people?
In all seriousness, why can’t the make cigarette butts edible, so homeless people can forage for food by simply picking up cigarette butts off the street and eating them … and cleaning up litter at the same time!
Tetrazini is PEOPLE
Let’s face it, like the Roman Empire, America is in decline. And throwing more money at our schools will do nothing to stop this fact. But while we’re sinking, if you really do want your kid to get a good education, do what Goldy did. Send your kid over to Mercer Island. And by doing that, it’s not even about having better teachers or class size. It’s about who you’re around. It’s about your environment. If you’re around other kids who want to learn, you’re more likely to learn. If you’re around kids who don’t want learn, you’ll be less likely to learn.
Nothing left in SS?
Well, actually, “nothing” could be further from the truth. Or so says the 2008 Trustees’ Report (PDF):
They don’t mention that one “equivalent” to this is removing the SS payroll tax cap.
And even at that, if productivity growth is anywhere north of about 2.0% per year we will never see a SS that has “nothing left.” Read the report for yourself.
Tender young Xian babies are best. By the time they’re in kindergarten, they’re too old and gamey.
I think we should just eat the rich instead. All that succulent fat melting over the flames, sizzle, sizzle!
@48 They (the Grover Norquist types) keep trying to sell us this same sack of shit every year, so that we will be frightened into letting them privatize Social Security. It is the one part of the New Deal that they can’t seem to get rid of.
I know how to fix SS for good! See my comment @49!
13 “Congress will raise the retirement age or lower benefits or some combination of the two AFTER the baby boomers have gutted the system and there’s nothing left.”
I’ve gotta ask….how old are you? The ‘wingers have been chanting this mantra since the early 70’s, originally as “divide-and-conquer” propaganda to polarize us boomers against our parents, now to try and drive a wedge between us and our children.
Does anyone with two brain cells to rub together really believe that the government is inherently less trustworthy to be steward to our Social Security contributions than the Wall Street shysters who’ve brought us the obscene spectacle of mortgage-backed derivatives?
I find this offensive…to Vegans
Mwahahahahahahhahahaha !!!
@53
I agree! eating people is carnal. Eating cows is vegan!
Kirby probably would be in favor it. I’m sure he’s already ate more than a few kids in his days.
http://www.tfas.org/NETCOMMUNITY/view.image?Id=605
@40, ya, I was going to point that out. I understand that Irish kids have better flavor. !) I guess that we should also restrict ourselves to less than 24 to 36 months old to avoid “mad cow” (CJ) and other parasites.