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HA Bible Study: 2 Samuel 13:10-15

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2 Samuel 13:10-15
And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”

“No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.

Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”

Discuss.

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Kimmel: The week in unnecessary censorship.

Young Turks: Arizona’s fascist attempt to ban protests.

PsychoSuperMom: Hypocrisy, thy name is G.O.P..

Stephen: Senators Kid Rock and The Nuge

Young Turks: Bad news for Gov. Failed-trickle-downer.

President “Enemy of the People”:

Late Show: No ObamaCare, no problem–try these GOP home remedies.

Young Turks: Statue of Liberty gets a sweet new sign.

Mental Floss: 28 facts about internet sensations

Stephen: Advice for avoiding campaign scandals–get it out there.

G.O.P. Snowflakes Find Now Town Hall Safe Spaces:

Jordan Peele revives his Obama impression.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Miloscia Is The Worst

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Not content to lose statewide running against Seattle, Senator Miloscia is now opposing safe injection sites. Here’s a press release about it. This is a month old, but I haven’t done a metacommentary piece in a while. Since it just passed out of committee (third item), now is as good a time as any to get back to it.

Sen. Mark Miloscia introduced legislation Monday that would ban the creation of heroin-injection sites in Washington cities and counties. King County has proposed creating two county-operated locations where heroin and other illegal narcotics may be consumed “legally” under medical supervision.

I’m pretty sure it’s not actually legal, since that’s not something a county can do. As such, I’m not sure why it’s in quotes. Who you quoting? There must be a better way to say that. Here are a few off the top of my head:

– without fear of arrest
– quasi-legally
– it’s-really-not-legal,-y’all
– the-legal-status-of-the-drug-use-isn’t-actually-the-issue
– illegally

In any case there will be doctors around in case they have overdoses. They’ll probably refer them to treatment if they think they can, like they do in Vancouver:

Through Insite, clients develop trusting relationships with our health care and social workers, making them more likely to pursue withdrawal management (detox), addiction counselling and other addiction treatment services.

Anyway, back to Senator Miloscia’s month old press release. I don’t know what I’m doing either.

“We must stop the push for decriminalization of drugs,” said Miloscia, R-Federal Way. “Standing idly by while addicts abuse illegal drugs is not compassionate, and it does not solve the problem.”

That’s the fucking plan: To stand idly by. To just hire people to fuck around on their phones while people shoot up. They’ll whistle a tune that they half remember from their youth. Maybe look up passively from time to time and give a thumbs up in the direction of the addicts before turning back to Instagram.

It won’t be harm reduction and redirection of people to treatment where possible. It won’t be making sure that people don’t pass around dirty needles. It’s just sitting idly.

His legislation is a direct response to a report issued by the Heroin and Prescription Opiate Addiction Task Force established by King County and the city of Seattle. The task force recommended two locations within King County where drug users can use illegal narcotics under medical supervision. The county recently approved funding for two injection sites in its 2017-2018 budget.

The people King County put in charge of this unanimously said it’s a piece of how we deal with the problem. But what if a grandstanding state senator decided his plan of do fuck all* was better?

Last year Miloscia toured Insite Coastal Health in Vancouver, Canada, the first supervised drug-consumption site in North America, to study the issue further.

He will proceed to say nothing about what he learned there for the rest of the press release. Instead he’ll take us home with a misleading statistic.

“Canada’s safe-injection site has completely failed and overdoses have skyrocketed,” Miloscia added. “We must focus our time, money and resources on treatment options that get people off illegal drugs, not encourage drug abuse.”

Overdoses are up in Vancouver, it’s true, and it’s tragic. They’re also up in lots of places where there aren’t safe injection sites. The reason seems to be fentanyl and other agents cut into heroin.

The Globe and Mail reports that overdose deaths rose to 914 during 2016. In contrast, there were 510 overdose deaths in 2015. It’s the province’s worst overdose rate in the 30 years it’s been keeping records.

In Seattle, KIRO 7 reports that the Seattle Fire Department has responded to 2,677 overdoses since 2014.

Canadian officials are blaming much of the rise on the inclusion of fentanyl, which is a synthetic opiate that can be cut into heroin. It is cheaper than heroin, yet much more potent, and can lead to overdoses. Fentanyl is suspected to be a factor in the recent surge in overdose deaths in Seattle, as well. What’s worse, is that another synthetic drug, carfentanil, has been found to have been mixed into B.C.’s heroin last fall. It is used as a large animal tranquilizer, and is cut into heroin for the same reasons as fentanyl. Though, it is even more potent.

Call me a dirty hippie if you want, but it seems like safe injection sites would be better places to test for fentanyl than in a hotel room. Or an abandoned lot near your dealer’s house. Or on your bathroom floor while your kids are playing in the next room.

[Read more…]

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Kimmel: The week in unnecessary censorshop.

Jimmy Dore get a call from Ted Cruz after his town hall with Bernie.

Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse does a science experiment test on the Senate floor.

President Pussy Pinching Putin Puppet:

Samantha Bee: Paul Ryan—a portrait in courage.

Seth Meyers with John Oliver: Obama should chill with the vacation photos.

Jimmy Dore chats with Mitt Romney.

Black History Month:

Bassem Youssef: How to hate right.

Samantha Bee: A break from the apocalypse.

Jimmy Dore chats with Sen. Sharrod Brown.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Samantha Bee is going to need a bigger closet.

Three unreported attacks by Muslims on US soil.

The twisted history of Valentine’s day.

Fake news investigative journalism.

Mental Floss: Is there an explanation for déjà vu?

Kimmel: The week in unnecessary censorship.

The Narcissistic Swamp with Strong Sociopathic Tendencies:

Mental Floss: 24 scientific studies about food.

Full Frontal: We made a promise.

Sam Seder: Bernie Sanders Vs. Ted Cruz ObamaCare debate.

Bill Maher: New Rule, “Pity slicker”.

Farron Cousins: Angry voters are confronting terrifying GOP members oer potential ObamaCare repeal.

Roll Call: A chat with the first African American Senate Chaplain for Black History month.

Valentines and guns.

Sen. Warren is Turtlehandled!

Armchair Presidents: The big game.

Jonathan Mann: The ballad of Judge Robart:

Pussy hats explained.

America needs Mexico…here’s why.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Drinking Liberally — Seattle

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DLBottle
Please join us this evening and raise a toast for the small victories at this week’s Seattle Chapter of Drinking liberally

We meet every Tuesday at the Roanoke Park Place Tavern, 2409 10th Ave E, Seattle. You’ll find us in the small room at the back of the tavern beginning about 8pm.




Can’t make it to Seattle? Check out one of the other 198 chapters of Living Liberally, including ninteen in Washington state, three in Oregon and one in Idaho. Find, or go out and start, a chapter near you.

HA Bible Study: 1 Samuel 18:25-27

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1 Samuel 18:25-27
“Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.

When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.

Discuss.

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Mental Floss: 38 facts about NASA.

Bill Maher: WTF is going on?

The Thin-skinned, Putin-puppet, Sociopath, Sexual Assaulter-in-Chief.

Ezra Klein: Democrats won the most votes. Why aren’t they acting like it?.

VSauce: The Brachistochrone.

Sisters March:

Bill Maher: New Rule.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

#WomensMarch

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Across the U.S. today, people are marching in support of women. Why? Because we now have a government run by assholes who are openly hostile to women.

Exhibit one: The pussy-grabber-in-chief. That’s right, we are living in bizarro-world where the so-called leader openly boasts about using his position to sexually assault women or walk in on young women changing clothes at their workplace. It’s disgusting.

Americans are responding:

Women’s marches across the U.S. (@billmckibben)

Women’s march brings far more people to D.C. than Drumpf’s inauguration. Sad!

Here in Seattle we have the “Womxn’s March on Seattle” that starts with a rally at Judkins Park, followed by a march to Seattle Center at 11am. Something like 30,000 people are expected to participate. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is an underestimate.

Judkins Park (@KIRO7Seattle)

Judkins Park (@fwd2utopia)

To join the demonstration, check out this information.

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Trevor with Cecile Richards: The high cost of defunding Planned Parenthood.

Rick Perry’s “oops!” moment with Sen. Al Franken.

2016: Warmest year on record.

And the Justice Said to the Philandering Sociopath, “You’re In!”

Bill Maher with Jimmy Kimmel: Bill’s number one concern.

What you need to know about the 2018 Senate landscape.

With Grace and Humility, Obama Departs:

Presidential Training Video.

Ezra Klein: Republicans have one major problem on ObamaCare.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Pap: Racist Republicans target minorities in Georgia.

Jeff’s earth.

Adam Ruins everything: Electric cars aren’t as green as you think:

White House: West Wing Week.

2016 Was Fucking Insane!

Young Turks: Oops! Professional asshole Carl Paladino didn’t mean to PUBLICLY post racist comments.

Chris Hayes: Mega racist and Drumpf campaigner Carl Paladino fired from School Board for being a fucking racist.

Epic Rap Battles of History: Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill:

Ari Melber: FAUX News reports FAKE NEWS about Food Stamp fraud.

Minute Physics: The No Cloning Theorem.

The Sexual Assaulting, Putin Loving, Walking, Talking Conflict of Interest:

Sam Seder: Lawrence Lessig on why the Electoral College has got to go!

PsychoSuperMom: Eight is better than one.

White House: Rare look inside where Obama lives at the White House.

Newzoids: Putin’s Top Gun:

Alex Lawson with Nancy Altman: The GOP’s plot to kill Medicare starts Jan. 3rd!

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

How the Kvetch Stole Chanukah

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Every Joo
Down in Joo-ville
Liked Chanukah as such…

But the Kvetch,
Who lived just north of Joo-ville,
… not so much.

The Kvetch hated Chanukah, the whole Chanukah season.
Now don’t ask me why. What? Should I know the reason?
It could be he wasn’t a mensch, that is all.
Or his petzel, perhaps, was two sizes too small.
Such meshug’as comes from one thing or another,
But like most Joo-ish boys, we should just blame his mother!

But,
The reason, whatever,
His mom or his putz,
The Kvetch hated Chanukah. Oy, what a yutz!
For he knew every Joo down in Joo-ville tonight
Was busy preparing menorahs to light.

“And they’re giving out gelt!” he sighed as he said
“I need waxy chocolate like holes in my head!”
Then he nervously whined as his fingers tapped horas,
“I MUST stop the Joos from igniting menorahs!”

For,
The Kvetch knew that soon…

… All the Joo girls and boys
Would say the baruch’ha, then unwrap their toys!
And then! Oh, the oys! Oh, the Oys! Oys! Oys! Oys!
If it’s not what they wanted, the OYS! OYS! OYS! OYS!

Then the Joos, young and old, would sit down for a nosh.
And they’d nosh! And they’d nosh!
And they’d NOSH! NOSH! NOSH! NOSH!
They would nosh on Joo-latkes, and Gefilte-Joo-Fish,
Which was surely the Kvetch’s least favorite dish!

And THEN
They’d do something
Which made the Kvetch plotz!
Every Joo down in Joo-ville, Bar Mitzvahed or not,
Would sit down together, their proud ponim’s grinning.
Then dreidels in hand, all the Joos would start spinning!

They’d spin! And they’d spin!
AND they’d SPIN! SPIN! SPIN! SPIN!
And the more the Kvetch thought of this Joo-Dreidel-Spin,
The more the Kvetch thought, “I can’t let this begin!
“Oy, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now!
“Chanukah, Schmanukah! Stop it!
… But HOW?”

Then he got an idea!
And the moment he had,
He said
“I’m no Einstein, but this… not half bad!”

“I know just what to do!” Then he donned an old sheet,
And dug up some sandals to wear on his feet.
“I’m the Prophet Elijiah! They’ve set me a plate!”
(For the Kvetch couldn’t keep Joo-ish holidays straight.)
“The Joos ‘ll oblige ol’ Elijiah, no doubt!
“I will simply walk in. Then I’ll clean the place out!”

“All I need is a camel…”
He looked far and near,
But this wasn’t the desert, and camels are dear.
Did that stop the old Kvetch…?
That pischer? No, never:
“If I can’t find a camel,” the Kvetch said, “…whatever.”
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took an old sack
And he tied a hump onto the front of his back.

THEN
He climbed on this
dog-dromedaryish mammal.
You never have seen
Such a schmuck on a camel.

Then the Kvetch cried “Oy vey!”
As old Max started down
Toward the homes, while the Joos
Where still schmoozing in town.

All their driveways were empty. Just SUV tracks.
All the Joos were out last-minute-shopping at Saks,
As he rode to a not-so-small house on old Max.
“It’s a good thing I brought” the old Prophet Kvetch thought,
“All these bags with to stuff all the stuff the Joos bought.”

Then he looked at the chimney. It seemed quite a stretch
That a fat goy like Santa could fit, thought the Kvetch,
“Still, the goyim believe stranger things, that’s for sure.”
Then the Kvetch shrugged his shoulders, and walked through the door
Where the little Joo dreidels were all strewn about.
“These dreidels,” he grinned, “are the first to go out!”

And he schvitzed, as he shlepped, with an odor unpleasant,
Around the whole house, as he took every present!
Barbie dolls! Mountain bikes! Brios! And blocks!
Pokemon! GameBoys! And all of that shlock!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then his arms spread akimbo,
He shlepped all the bags, one by one, out the wimbo!

Then he shlepped to the kitchen. He took every dish.
He took the Joo-latkes. The Gefilte-Joo-Fish.
He cleaned out the Sub-Zero so nimbly and neat,
Careful to separate dairy from meat.
Then he shlepped the Joo-nosh right out the front door-a.
“And NOW!” kvelled the Kvetch, “I will shlep the menorah!”

And he grabbed the menorah, and started to shlep on,
When he heard a whine, like a cat being stepped on.
He spun ‘round with shpilkes, and coming his way,
It was Ruth Levy-Joo, who was two, if a day.

The Kvetch had been caught by this small shaina maidel,
Who’d been watching TV on her big RCA’dle.
“The Prophet Elijiah?” she quizzed the old fool,
“You visit on Pesach, they taught us in shul.”

And although the old Kvetch was surprised and confused,
It’s not hard to lie to a girl in her twos.
“Bubbeleh… sweatheart…” he started his tale,
“Your dad paid full price, when this all was on sale!
“And like any good merchant, I just want to please ya.
“I’ll ring it up right, then I’ll refund your VISA.”

Then he patted her tush. Put a Barney tape in.
And she spaced-out as fast as the spindle could spin.
And as Ruth Levy-Joo watched her mauve dinosaura,
HE went to the door and shlepped out the menorah!

Then the match for the shamas
Was last to be filched!
Then he shlepped himself out to continue his pillage.
On the walls he left nothing at all. Bubkes. Zilch.
And the one speck of food
That he left in the house
Was a matzoh ball even too dense for a mouse.

Then
He did the same schtick
In the other Joo’s houses.

Leaving knaidlach
Too dense
For the other Joo’s mouses!

It was quarter to dusk…
All the Joos, still at Saks,
All the Joos, still a-shmooze
When he packed up old Max,
Packed him up with their presents! The gelt and the dreidels!
The chotchkes and latkes! The knish and the knaidels!

He hauled it all up to his condo in haste!
(A Grinch might have dumped it, but why go to waste?)
“Shtup you!” to the Joos, the Kvetch loudly cheered,
“They’re finding out Chanukah’s cancelled this year!
“They’re just coming home! I know just what they’ll say!
“They’ll ask their homeowners insurance to pay,
“Then the Joos down in Joo-ville will all cry OY VEY!”

“All those Oys,” kvelled the Kvetch,
“Now THIS I must hear!”
So he paused. And the Kvetch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising up from the shtetl.
It started to grow. Then the Kvetch grew unsettled…

Why the sound wasn’t sad,
It was more like the noise
Of a UPS trucker
Delivering toys!

He stared down at Joo-ville!
And then the Kvetch shook,
As truck after truck
Replaced all that he took!

Every Joo down in Joo-ville, the Golds and the Steins,
Re-ordered their presents by going online!

Chanukah HADN’T been cancelled!
IT CAME!
…On UPS trucks… but it came just the same!

Then the Kvetch, staring down at the gifts where they sat,
Stood kvitching and kvetching: “For this, I did that?
“It came without traffic! It came without tax!
“It came without shopping at Bloomie’s or Saks!”
And he kvetched on and on, til he started to shvitz,
Then the Kvetch thought of something which might make him rich!
“Maybe stores,” thought the Kvetch, “don’t need mortar and bricks.
“Maybe toys can be bought with a few well-placed clicks!”

And what happened then…?
Well… in Joo-ville they say
That the Kvetch raised
Ten million in venture that day!
And the minute his web site was ready to go,
He raised ten billion more on his new IPO!
He sold back the toys to the homes they came from!
And he…

… he the Kvetch…!
Founded YA-JOO.COM!

©2000 by David Goldstein
All rights reserved

[An HA holiday tradition (and with perfect timing what with the first night of Chanukah and Christmas Eve lining up this year), with apologies to the late, great Dr. Seuss—but not to those greedy, litigious bastards at Dr. Seuss Enterprises, LLC. So there. Happy Christmukah.]

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Mental Floss: 21 things that turned 21 in 2016

Samantha Bee: Democrats in the Wilderness.

Adam Ruins Everything: The truth about the McDonald’s coffee lawsuit:

Conan: Keegan-Michael Key on playing Luther & meeting Obama.

Jimmy Kimmel: The YEAR in unnecessary censorship.

President Elect Donald “Serial-Philander-Sociopath-Racist” Drumpf:

The dark history of gay conversion therapy.

Vsauce: Spinning.

2016: The year the world went crazy.

White House: West Wing Week.

Stephen and friends: It’s the end of the year as we know it:

The HOSTILE Transfer of Power:

Liberal Viewer: FAUX News hates San Francisco? (Sanctuary city policy.)

Young Turks: Republicans are after your Social Security.

Three-D view of climate change gas.

Samantha Bee: Ms. Robot.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza!

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Farron Cousins: Repealing ObamaCare could kill 36,000 people per year.

Kimmel: The Christmas Wall.

Slate: What dinosaurs really looked like.

PsychoSuperMom: If there’s a war on Christmas, Christmas is winning:

All-Wrong:

Stephen: Family meeting with Joe Biden.

White House: West Wing Week.

Samantha Bee: Eroding electoral confidence.

Mental Floss: 16 myths about blindness.

The Sexual Preditor, Sociopath, Racist President-Elect:

Stephen: Will Joe Biden run in 2020?

Young Turks: Ohio destroys reproductive rights.

Trevor: Making sense of the Electoral College:

Sam Seder: Corey Lewandowski appears on Hannity propaganda vehicle to announces victory in fake war on X-mas.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

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