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Here’s your weekly sandbox. Go shit in it.

Rep. Richard Baker (R-Baton Rouge, LA) was overheard telling lobbyists…

“We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn’t do it, but God did.”

Hmm. Perhaps that explains President Bush’s motive for declaring a National Day of Prayer? (Watch out, Detroit!)

The AP reports that FEMA director Michael Brown is being removed from his role managing Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.

Brown is being sent back to Washington from Baton Rouge, where he was the primary official overseeing the federal government’s response to the disaster, according to two federal officials who declined to be identified before the announcement.

Hmm. So “Brownie” didn’t do that great a job after all.

King County Councilman Steve Hammond has learned an important lesson from the disastrous disaster relief effort in New Orleans. Unfortunately, it’s the wrong lesson… but you can’t fault the guy for his dedication to lifelong learning.

Yesterday Hammond introduced an ordinance that would make the investigation, arrest and prosecution of “looting and related crimes” the county’s highest law enforcement priority during natural or man-made disasters. Hmm. And I suppose once we’ve rounded up all the people grabbing Pampers and Doritos from collapsed convenience stores, then we can get around to actually… um… rescuing people. Hammond explains:

“This measure will protect King County from the kind of lawlessness that enveloped New Orleans after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina and plagued the city of Seattle during the World Trade Organization protests in 1999,” said Councilman Hammond. “By making the arrest of looters and other disaster-related crimes a top priority of law enforcement during the next natural disaster or man-made conflict, we will force local emergency administrators to timely coordinate evacuation assistance with the federal government and we will protect our citizens from the dangers of anarchy.”

Uh… what the fuck is he talking about?

First of all, I’m kind of offended that Hammond would equate the worst natural disaster in US history, with WTO protests that resulted in a McDonalds and a couple of Starbucks getting their windows smashed. Second, how exactly does making looting our top priority “force” local emergency administrators to coordinate with the federal government? And third… what the fuck? If I’m trapped underneath the rubble of my collapsed house, I’d like the county’s top priority to be digging me the fuck out, not guarding the snack food aisle at the local Safeway!

In the event of a major disaster I sure as hell want the police and the national guard and other first responders in thick of it, on the streets, making their presence felt, and keeping order. But when faced with the choice of rescuing a person from a collapsed building, or rescuing a TV from the arms of a looter, I’d hope the police would follow their own moral conscience, rather than the twisted directives of Hammond’s “Wal-Mart Protection Act of 2005.”

If Hammond is looking for a public safety issue to nudge him ahead in his tough primary battle against Raymond Shaw Reagan Dunn, I’d focus on the inherent danger of relying on public officials whose resumes were built on political appointments.

Well, it took TIME Magazine to finally do the type of extensive background check that should have been done by, gee… I dunno… maybe the FBI, back when Mike Brown first came up before the Senate for confirmation as deputy director of FEMA. And surprise… they’ve found more than a few discrepancies between Brown’s resume and the real world.

Before joining FEMA, his only previous stint in emergency management, according to his bio posted on FEMA’s website , was “serving as an assistant city manager with emergency services oversight.” The White House press release from 2001 stated that Brown worked for the city of Edmond, Okla., from 1975 to 1978 “overseeing the emergency services division.” In fact, according to Claudia Deakins, head of public relations for the city of Edmond, Brown was an “assistant to the city manager” from 1977 to 1980, not a manager himself, and had no authority over other employees.

Oh… he wasn’t an “assistant city manager”, he was an “assistant to the city manager.” That was just a typo, right? But wait, it gets worse:

“The assistant is more like an intern,” she told TIME. “Department heads did not report to him.”

So he was more of an intern than an assistant…

“He was a student at Central State University,” recalls former city manager Bill Dashner.

… A college intern.

“Mike used to handle a lot of details. Every now and again I’d ask him to write me a speech. He was very loyal. He was always on time. He always had on a suit and a starched white shirt.”

And a starched white shirt. Well, I guess that’s Brown’s qualifications in a nutshell.

And the rest of Browns resume seems just as fictional. He claimed the honor of being named “Outstanding Political Science Professor” at Central State University… where he was never a member of faculty. And he claims to have been a director of the Oklahoma Christian Home since 1983… which came as a surprise to both the administration and the staff.

A veteran employee at the center since 1981 says Brown “was never director here, was never on the board of directors, was never executive director. He was never here in any capacity. I never heard his name mentioned here.”

My god… why would you even make up something as trivial as this? It’s almost like he’s lying for sport. And of course, don’t you think the fact that there is no board of directors at the nursing home should have been a big tip off.. had the FBI actually performed a fucking background check?

This is no longer simply about Brown’s incompetence… it’s about the incompetence and indifference of a president who hired a political hack with a trumped up resume to lead our nation’s disaster relief efforts.

FEMA director Mike Brown was originally brought into the agency as its general counsel, under the auspices of his old college roommate (and Bush fixer) Joe Allbaugh. By now we all know that Brown is an emergency manager who knows nothing about managing emergencies, and a former horse association commissioner who knew nothing about horses… but apparently, he was also a general counsel who was hardly even a real lawyer.

In a devastating expose published today in The New Republic, University of Colorodo-Boulder law professor Paul Campos determines to answer the question “of exactly what, given Brown’s real biography, he is qualified to do.” The answer, not surprisingly, is very little.

To understand the Mike Brown saga, one has to know something about the intricacies of the legal profession, beginning with the status of the law school he attended. Brown’s biography on FEMA’s website reports that he’s a graduate of the Oklahoma City University School of Law. This is not, to put it charitably, a well-known institution. For example, I’ve been a law professor for the past 15 years and have never heard of it. Of more relevance is the fact that, until 2003, the school was not even a member of the Association of American Law Schools (AALS)–the organization that, along with the American Bar Association, accredits the nation’s law schools. Most prospective law students won’t even consider applying to a non-AALS law school unless they have no other option, because many employers have a policy of not considering graduates of non-AALS institutions. So it’s fair to say that Brown embarked on his prospective legal career from the bottom of the profession’s hierarchy.

According to Campos, Brown received his J.D. in 1981, and spent the next couple years representing the interests of a “prominent local family” in Enid, Oklahoma, followed by an 18-month stint at a local law firm (that no longer exists.) But it appears that by 1987 he had already more or less abandoned his legal career. From 1991 to 2001 he served as commissioner of judges and stewards for the International Arabian Horse Association, a full-time position from which he resigned under pressure.

What, then, are we to make of the claim in Brown’s FEMA biography that, prior to joining the Agency, he had spent most of his professional career practicing law in Colorado? Normally, an attorney practicing law in a state for ten years would have left a record of his experience in public documents. But just about the only evidence of Brown’s Colorado legal career is the Web page he submitted to Findlaw.com, an Internet site for people seeking legal representation. There, he lists himself as a member of the “International Arabian Horse Association Legal Dept.” and claims to be competent to practice law across a dizzying spectrum of specialties–estate planning, family law, employment law for both plaintiffs and defendants, real-estate law, sports law, labor law, and legislative practice. With all this expertise, it’s all the more striking that one can’t find any other evidence of Brown’s legal career in Colorado.

Campos further deconstructs Brown’s FEMA bio, in which he impressively claims to have served as “a bar examiner on ethics and professional responsibility for the Oklahoma Supreme Court and as a hearing examiner for the Colorado Supreme Court.” Campos’ translation?

In Oklahoma, he graded answers to bar exam questions, and, in Colorado, he volunteered to serve on the local attorney disciplinary board.

Ouch.

Campos’ summation is equally devastating, and a pointed critique of the Bush administration.

When Brown left the iaha four years ago, he was, among other things, a failed former lawyer–a man with a 20-year-old degree from a semi-accredited law school who hadn’t attempted to practice law in a serious way in nearly 15 years and who had just been forced out of his job in the wake of charges of impropriety. At this point in his life, returning to his long-abandoned legal career would have been very difficult in the competitive Colorado legal market. Yet, within months of leaving the IAHA , he was handed one of the top legal positions in the entire federal government: general counsel for a major federal agency. A year later, he was made its number-two official, and, a year after that, Bush appointed him director of FEMA .

It’s bad enough when attorneys are named to government jobs for which their careers, no matter how distinguished, don’t qualify them. But Brown wasn’t a distinguished lawyer: He was hardly a lawyer at all. When he left the IAHA , he was a 47-year-old with a very thin resum

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Hey… speaking of David Irons and quid pro quos, one has to wonder what Irons has promised the local gambling industry in exchange for over $10,000 of contributions towards his futile campaign for King County executive?

Casino Caribbean		$4,050.00
Roman Casino		$1,350.00
Iron Horse Casino		$1,000.00
Tim Iszley		$675.00
Vito Checci		$500.00
Great American Gaming		$500.00
Steve Michels		$500.00
Cascade Lanes Casino		$250.00
Roxbury Lanes		$500.00
Pinnacle Gaming		$250.00
Magic Lanes		$500.00

Iron’s biggest contributor is Casino Caribbean and its owner, Michael Marquess of Yakima, who has been stubbornly pushing to build a new casino in the Kingsgate neighborhood, against the strong objections of the surrounding communities.

Hmm. I’m betting the 2000 concerned citizens who signed a petition opposing the casino might be interested in Irons’ position on building an 11,000 square foot casino and lounge in a residential neighborhood, within 500 feet of a day care facility and 700 feet of a community swimming pool. Surely, Irons must have a position on this controversy; the Kingsgate Neighborhood Association has been very aggressive in getting their concerns before elected officials. Indeed, Irons’ King County Council colleague, Kathy Lambert, vocally opposes granting a liquor license to the proposed casino.

But money speaks louder than words, so barring a clear public statement to the contrary, it seems Irons has already privately assured his gambling industry patrons his unswerving support for expanding “community based gaming.” How else can you explain the largesse of companies like Casino Caribbean and the US subsidiary of the loan-sharking, drug-dealing, whore-mongering Great Canadian Gaming Corporation?

I have long been of the opinion that I-912, the anti-roads initiative, can be defeated, with enough hard work, elbow grease… and the truth. And oh yeah… money. And yet, even after a spate of recent polls showed the initiative much closer than expected, the official No campaign, Keep Washington Rolling, has been disappointingly silent.

Sure they’ve got a website, but then, who doesn’t? Where are the flyers, the yard signs, the mailings, the advertising? But most of all, where is the relentless media outreach campaign necessary to educate voters about the true impact of I-912?

Hell, at this point I’d just settle for a few yard signs. Which is why I’m happy to report that a new grass roots No campaign, Washington Defense, has created a PAC, and is now soliciting contributions.

No, you’re not likely to see a huge media campaign coming out of these efforts, but at least they’re doing something. So if you believe we can’t wait to fix our critical transportation infrastructure, don’t just sit back and wait for the business community and elected officials to get their act together and run an effective No campaign. Go to Washington Defense, contribute a few bucks, volunteer your time and help make I-912 a fair fight.

We, the undersigned, know that we need new leadership at FEMA to get New Orleans and the Gulf Coast back on its feet, and demand that President Bush replace FEMA Director Michael Brown with competent, qualified leadership.

Sign the petition.

From a horse fancier forum, on the subject of former International Arabian Horse Association Judges & Stewards Commissioner — and current FEMA director — Mike Brown:

He’s not even a horseman. He was hired by IAHA because, as a non-horseperson, he had no dog in the fight, so to speak

So Brown went from a horse show commissioner who knew nothing about horses to a Federal Emergency Management Agency director who knew nothing about managing emergencies. At least he’s consistent.

So, what the hell am I doing reading horse fancier forums? Well, after breaking the story on our stunningly unqualified FEMA chief, I suddenly found myself in the middle of row between angry horse breeders, emailing me comments, links and press releases, from both sides of the Brown debate. For example I just received a copy of a press release from the IAHA’s successor, the Arabian Horse Association, attempting to rehabilitate Brown’s reputation:

Barbara Burck, executive vice president and chief administrator of the association added that “Mr. Brown had a long and successful career with IAHA and was regarded as upholding the highest standards of integrity and demanding excellence in all areas under his jurisdiction. His legal background and management skills enabled him to accomplish the rigors of the job with professionalism.”

“He dealt with issues related to enforcement of rules and regulations that often generated passionate dispute by advocates on both sides of his decisions,” she added. “Several of those enforcement issues resulted in litigation. Due to the nature of Mr. Brown’s duties as commissioner, he set up his own Legal Defense Fund Trust to supplement the IAHA Legal Defense Fund. Following his departure from the IAHA, the entire sum in the Michael D. Brown Legal Defense Fund Trust was transferred to the IAHA Legal Defense Fund.”

President Myron Krause stated, “Brown’s contract was not terminated by IAHA, he resigned. Furthermore, there was no due cause to terminate his contract.

Yeah… well… sure… that’s somewhat how some of my sources remember it, but certainly not the majority, and it’s contrary to how it was reported at the time. In a November 2000 newsletter, the president of the New Hampshire Arabian Horse Association specifically reported back from the national convention that Brown was “requested to resign.” And several IAHA board members, including its former president, have confirmed this account in the MSM. (Here and here.)

And according to an interview with IAHA Secretary Gary Dearth in the Nov. 2000 issue of Arabian Horse World magazine, it was apparently Brown himself who originally complained that the Executive Committee was forcing him out.

Q: Why do you feel that prior to his resignation, Mr. Brown repeatedly stated that he does “not have the support of the Executive Committee”?

A: This talk of lack of support for Mike Brown has become rather tiresome. The Executive Committee, approximately a year and a half ago, gave Mike Brown a three-year contract rather than annual contract extensions which had been the tradition in the past. When you look at concrete support and not just talk, there is no stronger support than a three-year contract. However, information that came to light at the August Board meeting

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“Politics makes strange bedfellows”… an adage confirmed by an apparent quid pro quo between the jail guards unions and Republicans on the King County Council… an episode of beneath the covers shenanigans that could end up costing taxpayers millions of dollars.

The deal involves an effort being led by soon to be unemployed council member and county executive wannabe David Irons to designate juvenile detention officers as “essential employees”, thus securing favorable “interest arbitration” for future contracts. In return Jared Karstetter, who represents both the adult and juvenile detention officers guilds, has apparently promised to run an initiative to make the county auditor an elected office… an initiative with dubious (if debatable) benefits, but an obvious political appeal to Republicans who want to continue to remind voters of past election controversies through the 2006 season.

Karstetter is no stranger to running Republican backed county initiatives; he and the King County Corrections Guild sponsored Initiative 18, which reduced the number of seats on the county council from thirteen to nine… and for which they eventually gave Tim Eyman a $20,000 “gift” as a thank you for his “free” help. It was the GOP hope that the subsequent redistricting might give them a shot at wresting control of the council from the Democrats… and no council member was more supportive of I-18 than Irons. (Which explains why his colleagues deservingly redistricted him out of a seat.)

Indeed, the council coalition fronting Karstetter’s drive for interest arbitration looks awfully damn familiar: Irons, Jane Hague, Steve Hammond and Bob Ferguson… all of whom were vocal proponents of I-18. Hague was such a strong supporter of the initiative that she was the only council member to vote against an ordinance intended to supersede it… an ordinance that Karstetter vehemently opposed. Now Karstetter is reportedly bragging that he actually authored the motion that Hague introduced at the Aug. 23 meeting of the Labor, Operations and Technology Committee.

As for Irons, the Corrections Guild has contributed $2,600 to his campaigns since 2003, the most they’ve given to any candidate.

So… what is interest arbitration, and why should we care? Well it’s kind of complicated, but essentially, state law requires that those employees deemed “essential” are too essential to strike, so rather than negotiate, contracts are determined by an arbitrator. Wages are supposed to be based on a market survey of similar positions in surrounding jurisdictions, but in practice, the arbitrators almost always award higher wages than would have otherwise been achieved through negotiation. For example, a study conducted by the Association of Washington Cities of police and firefighter salaries between 1992 and 2002 found that wages rose 39% while the Implicit Price Deflator rose only 21%.

Of course, all you really need to know is that the Juvenile Detention Guild wants interest arbitration, because it will ensure them better contracts than they could achieve through collective bargaining. And it’s not just King County that would pay more; many cities contract with the county to house their adult prisoners and juvenile detainees, and the cost of higher salaries would have to be passed on. That’s why a majority of elected officials in both parties, from Rob McKenna to Ron Sims, have consistently opposed extending essential status to additional employment classifications.

That Irons and his cohorts would suddenly lead the charge on such a fiscally irresponsible motion would be baffling if not for a promise from Karstetter to do the Republicans’ bidding in return. And the fact that the Corrections Guild is the only union to contribute to Irons over the past two elections, is telling in itself.

So why are Republicans like Irons pushing a budget buster like interest arbitration? You’ll have to ask their union bosses.

UPDATE:
I just want to reiterate that interest arbitration is a complicated subject, and I’m not making a judgment on whether it is good or bad. Clearly, truly “essential” employees, who are forbidden to strike, require independent arbitration in order obtain a fair contract. And I don’t even want to address the question of whether juvenile detention officers are essential.

The issue here is that Republicans accustomed to attacking Democrats for being in cahoots with Labor are more than willing to trade off favors, at taxpayer expense, when it suits their purpose. It’s the irony thing.

From the NY Times:

Bob Denver, whose portrayal of goofy first mate Gilligan on the 1960s television show ”Gilligan’s Island,” made him an iconic figure to generations of TV viewers, has died, his agent confirmed Tuesday. He was 70.

In death, as in life, Gilligan serves as an oddly apt metaphor for the human condition, a disturbing reminder of both our isolation and our interdependence, our disconnect from nature and the fragility of our modern, technological world, and of course… our universal love of coconut cream pie. But most of all, he reminds us of our own mortality, for in Gilligan’s own memorable words:

“We’ll get off this island yet.”

So he has. And so shall we all.

The Seattle chapter of Drinking Liberally meets tonight (and every Tuesday), 8PM at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E.

I’ll be there tonight, looking for some hoppy beer and some hopped up conversation. So be there, or be… uh… elsewhere.

A couple weeks back I was asked by Jennifer McCausland to co-host an upcoming fundraiser for King County Executive Ron Sims. I reluctantly said yes, not because I’m reluctant about Ron, but because of some misplaced sense of journalistic ethics. But then, I’m not a journalist and I make no pretense of being objective… so I thought, what the hell.

Well, my few seconds of ethical wrangling proved unnecessary, because Jennifer just called to tell me that Ron has decided to turn the event into a fundraiser for the WA chapter of the American Red Cross, to help support their relief efforts for the 2000 Katrina refugees being evacuated to WA state.

Sure, Ron’s got a substantial money advantage over David Irons, but candidates simply don’t pass up fundraisers in the heat of a campaign. Who knows what kind of vicious “independent expenditure” Irons is coordinating, and Ron might need every last penny to respond. Ron’s decision is thus as selfless as it is generous, and both he and Jennifer deserve some applause.

Anyway, since I’m a co-host, I’ve decided to invite all my readers (well… most of you.) So here’s the scoop:

WA Red Cross Fundraiser
Monday, September 19th
5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

At the home of Jennifer McCausland
2601 Cascadia Avenue South
Seattle’s Mt. Baker Neighborhood

Jennifer has a lovely old house, and this is a great opportunity to meet Ron, have some good conversation and a glass of wine, and raise some money for a very worthy cause. If you can make it, please R.S.V.P. to me, so we have an accurate head count.

The refugees coming here from New Orleans have not only lived through a week of horror, but have lost absolutely everything. They need our compassion and our help to get back on their feet and move on with their lives. So please accept my invitation to attend this fundraiser… and don’t forget to bring your checkbook.

Ron, Jennifer and I hope to see you there.

Oh man… I wish I’d thought of this!

Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff and FEMA director Michael Brown: make headway…

Chertoff: All I’m tryin’ to find out is what’s the guy’s name in charge of food and water.
Brown: : Oh, no, wait a minute, don’t switch ’em around. What is in charge of evacuation.
Chertoff: I’m not askin’ you who’s in charge of evacuation.
Brown: : Who is on food and water.
Chertoff: I don’t know!
Brown: : He’s in charge of media spin…now we’re not talkin’ ’bout him.
Chertoff: Now, how did I get on media spin?
Brown: : You mentioned his name!
Chertoff: If I mentioned the media spin guy’s name, who did I say is in charge of media spin?
Brown: : No…Who’s in charge of food and water.
Chertoff: Never mind food and water, I wanna know what’s the guy’s name in charge of media spin.
Brown: : No, What’s in charge of evacuation.
Chertoff: I’m not askin’ you who’s in charge of evacuation!
Brown: : Who’s in charge of food and water.
Chertoff: I don’t know!
Brown: : He’s in charge of media spin.
Chertoff: Aaah! Would you please stay on media spin and don’t go off it?
Brown: : What was it you wanted?
Chertoff: Now who’s in charge of media spin?
Brown: : Now why do you insist on putting Who in charge of media spin?
Chertoff: Why? Who am I putting over there?
Brown: : Yes. But we don’t want him there.
Chertoff: What’s the guy’s name in charge of media spin?
Brown: : What is in charge of evacuation.
Chertoff: I’m not askin’ you who’s in charge of evacuation.
Brown: : Who’s in charge of food and water.
Chertoff: I don’t know.
Brown: & Chertoff: MEDIA SPIN!!
Chertoff: You got someone in charge of fixing the levees?
Brown: : Oh yes!
Chertoff: The guy’s name?
Brown: : Why.
Chertoff: I don’t know, I just thought I’d ask you.
Brown: : Well, I just thought I’d tell you…