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Sorry! The days are kind of blending together and I can’t write this on my commute. Go wash your hands right now.

Are you holding up? Are you going a bit stir crazy? I am. Living Downtown, you can take a walk and try social distancing, but not everyone is cooperating. Or nobody knows what 6 feet is. Seriously give me some more room.

And also, wash your hands.

My Corona!

• Daily Show: Трамп puts his racism on full display with coronavirus
• Trevor: Quarantine Dispatch—Трамп gets serious & NYC shuts down
• The Atlantic: James Hamblin, M.D., answers your coronavirus questions
• Lauren Meyer: Can’t help touching that face of mine
• Conan’s guide to taking selfies while social distancing
• Robert Reich: What’s missing from the coronavirus bill
• The Light Show With Stephen Colb-Air: We’re all in this together
• Samantha Bee: Beeing at home—Wash your hams
• Randy Rainbow: The CORONAVIRUS Lament:

• Jimmy Kimmel: Formal Friday, testy Трамп & the killers
• Daily Show: The future of handshakes
• Now This: Top 5 most shocking coronavirus stories this week
• Mother Jones: Трамп acts like a disaster movie villain
• Trevor: China recovers & U.S. Senators profit off the pandemic
• Ari Melber: From ‘hoax’ to war—Reversing course, Трамп invokes ‘war’ powers to combat coronavirus
• Daily Show: Inspirational achievements under quarantine
• AJ+: Your most Googled COVID-19 questions answered by an expert
• Trevor: Трамп’s bullshit corona cure & sad spring breakers
• The New York Times: How coronavirus racism infected my high school
• Now This: Bill Gates warned us about pandemics multiple times
• Wired: Dr. Seema Yasmin answers 50 of the most Googled coronavirus questions
• John Oliver: Coronavirus II
• WaPo: Five ways to deal with coronavirus induced anxiety
• The Late Show: A special “social distancing” edition
• Bruce W. Nelson: The COVID 19 lullaby:

• The Atlantic: The great toilet-paper panic
• Conan: Homemade hand sanitizer
• Vox: How soap kills the coronavirus
• Lauren Mayer: We’re having a pandemic but I swear I’ve just got seasonal allergies
• Daily Show: Coronavirus thank force
• Mark Fiore: Keep your distance!
• Trevor: Extended thoughts on Трамп’s initial response to coronavirus

The Daily Show: Kosta’s stock trading tips

Misc. Dotard Трамп Crap:

• Bruce W. Nelson: Kiss that bottom (The Mike Pence theme song)
• The Daily Show: Michael Kosta and Roy Wood Jr. play the Трамп’s best words bracket
• Lars von Retriever: MetalТрамп—Sad But True
• The Daily Show: Трамп’s best word bracket round 2

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Dear Senator Murray,

I am writing to thank you for your leadership in this difficult time. Specifically, I want to thank you for pushing for sick leave protections for all workers. I know that it has not passed yet, but I hope that you will keep pushing. We need to be in this together by staying apart.

Thank you,

Carl Ballard

(For the rest of you, wash your hands right now.)

I am very grateful that Seattle has suspended evictions for the time being. It’s not a system that can go on indefinitely, but God almighty it’s needed now. My building posted notices about working with people to pay rent. They should keep that up after the virus is over.

How is the social distancing going? I didn’t leave my apartment over the weekend except to do laundry. There aren’t many machines, and they’re all packed into a row with the laundry on one side and the dryer on the other. So there’s usually a bit of jostling. But it was all very polite and one person at a time keeping our distance. I don’t like it, but I guess it’s the next few months at least.

Mayor Pete Buttigieg guest hosts the Jimmy Kimmel Show.

Now This: Here’s why this Seattle millionaire CEO wants to be taxed more.

Roll Call: Congressional hits and misses of the week (sans coronavirus content!).

We’re All Gonna DIE!

• Stephen: Трамп hasn’t been tested for coronavirus despite possible exposure, and refuses to take precautions
• WaPo: Fact checking The Dotard’s address to the nation about coronavirus
• Trevor: Coronavirus misinformation & toilet paper panic
• Seth Meyers: Trump addresses the nation on the coronavirus pandemic
• Now This: Трамп keeps pretending coronavirus is no big deal
• Bill Maher: Surreal time
• Jimmy Kimmel: The 5 Stages of coronavirus
• Stephen: Neil deGrasse Tyson on coronavirus—Will people listen to science?
• Conan: Трамп downplays coronavirus
• Vice News: The Dotard wants to make sure you know who’s to blame for the coronavirus
• The Daily Show: PANDUMBIC (the official trailer):

• Trevor: Трамп’s coronavirus address, blooper reel included
• Lauren Mayer: There’s plenty of toilet paper for everyone
• Now This: Hillary Clinton defends Obama Admin from Трамп Theories, coronavirus blame
• Stephen: Dr. Sanjay Gupta—The U.S. failed to have coronavirus tests ready for the public
• WIRED: Could mass quarantines in the U.S. work?—Health expert explains what you need to know.
• Seth Meyers: Markets plunge as a lifelong scam artist lies about coronavirus response
• The Late Show: The UW’s corona express
• Samantha Bee: Coronavirus is not an excuse to be racist
• Now This: FAUX News coverage of coronavirus vs. ebola
• Stephen: Rep. Matt Gaetz forced to self-quarantine on Air Force One with The Dotard on board
• WaPo: What the 1918 influenza pandemic can teach us about the coronavirus outbreak
• Trevor: Combatting coronavirus with “social distancing”
• Seth Meyers: Трамп contradicts experts as coronavirus is declared a pandemic
• Rachel Maddow: Infection rate charts forecast steep rise in US coronavirus cases
• Jimmy Fallon: Coronavirus fact vs. fiction
• Mark Fiore: The healthiest man on the planet.
• Mother Jones: Watch Трамп’s coronavirus hypocrisy in two simple clips
• The Late Show: Coming to a port near you—The bug boat
• Stephen: Daily life is changing for millions of Americans as coronavirus crisis grows
• Chris Hayes: How Трамп’s mistakes made coronavirus worse
• Daily Show: PANDUMBIC 2 (The sequel):

• Jimmy Kimmel: The Dotard Трамп is terrified of getting coronavirus
• Now This: Fact-checking Трамп’s coronavirus Oval Office address
• Jimmy Fallon: Coronavirus state of emergencies, cheap flights and cancellations
• Trevor: Bill de Blasio—Confronting the coronavirus outbreak in New York City
• Stephen: The Dotard golfs while markets tumble and health officials rush to produce coronavirus tests
• Sky New: COVID-19 is ‘much, much worse than Ebola’
• Conan: Embark on a coronavirus-free solo cruise
• The Late Show: Introducing Boston hand sanitizer
• Trevor: Coronavirus impacts Tom Hanks, the NBA and monkeys in Thailand
• Stephen: Трамп, who has been exposed to coronavirus, tries to reassure the public that he’s in control

Vice News: This woman survived a mass shooting and is working to prevent the next one.

John Oliver: Sheriffs.

The Dotard Трамп and Other Life-long Scam Artists:

• Seth Meyers: Трамп’s family profits off policy meant to help low-income communities
• Robert Reich: Will The Dotard Трамп get reelected?
• Now This: Who is Mike Pence?
• Bill Maher: Ass kisser of the month:

• Daily Show: Трамп’s best words—Bracket edition
• Full Frontal: Don’t mess with Texas—The Longhorn state’s tussle with Trump’s border wall.

Now This: Here is what the world would look like with no oceans.

The Atlantic: The world without giraffes

Jimmy Kimmel: The week in unnecessary censorship.

Twenty-Twenty Vision:

• Stephen: Joe Biden threatens to fight a pro-gun voter in Detroit
• SNL Weekend Update: Biden is the front runner.
• Full Frontal: Holding out for a super Tuesday hero—Part 2
• James Corden: An old white guy won Tuesday’s primaries
• Bill Maher: Rachel Bitecofer—Election whisperer
• Stephen: Biden’s big Tuesday night
• Full Frontal: Holding out for a super Tuesday hero—Part 3
• Trevor: Biden wins big and beefs with a union worker
• Stephen: Dr. Sanjay Gupta—The 2020 campaign must change shape in light of the pandemic

Vox: How San Francisco erased a neighborhood.

Samantha Bee: America’s gig-based economy gets zero stars.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

I have switched from being a politics person to going all in on hand washing. For goodness sake, wash your hands. Right now. If there are other people around, have them wash their hands, or if they’re young, wash their hands for them. Get them all sudsed up. Make sure to get the back. In between your fingers.

It’s too close to call the Presidential primary Washington. Usually I have some idea about who is going to win. The later ballots typically break for the more liberal candidate. But the remaining ballots to count are from it being a 2 person race, and a lot of the ballots that have been counted were cast when there more people running. So who knows?

In any case, please wash your hands right now.

Today is primary election day in Washington. So whatever you do, get that ballot in the mail or stuffed into a ballot box at a drop-off location. Normally, I would then suggest that you hightail it to the Seattle Chapter of Drinking Liberally for an evening of returns-watching and discussion over a drink.

This week we will not hold our weekly meeting. Washington state is still the epicenter of coronavirus in the United States, with 166 confirmed cases and 22 deaths. For times like these, it becomes prosocial to be antisocial (really, a-social).

Normally, we meet every Tuesday at the Roanoke Park Place Tavern, 2409 10th Ave E, Seattle starting around 8pm. With any luck we’ll be getting together again soon.

Get your ballot postmarked or dropped off by tomorrow if you want it to count. Make sure that you mark the party or it won’t count. And use a sponge instead of licking it closed.

Also, too: Wash your hands right now.

Samantha Bee: Health care sharing ministries ARE NOT health insurance!

The Atlantic: The truth about Stalin’s prison camps.

The Dotard Трамп and Other Plagues Upon the Nation:

• Late Night: The Dotard Трамп Cookbook
• Lawrence O’Donnell: Judge Rebukes A.G. Barr’s handling of Mueller Report as “misleading”
• Robert Reich: Mitch McConnell’s do nothing Republicans
• Lars von Retriever: Трамп Rocks—Hurt:

• Jimmy Fallon: Talk like Трамп
• Now This: Who is Jared Kushner?
• Jimmy Kimmel’s daughter is like The Dotard

Jimmy Kimmel: The week in unnecessary censorship.

We’re All Gonna Die!

• Vox: Why new diseases keep appearing in China
• Stephen: Трамп tries to project leadership as coronavirus spreads across U.S.
• AJ+: Afraid of coronavirus? Ok, but don’t be a racist
• Seth Meyers: John Oliver fought the urge to panic about coronavirus appearing in New York City
• Now This: Трамп spreads misinformation about coronavirus on FAUX News
• The Daily Show: The Трамп misinformation virus
• Stephen: Трамп contradicts his own experts on coronavirus response
• WaPo: The top food items to stock up on in case you are quarantined
• Chris Hayes: Трамп is trying to bullshit his way through the coronavirus outbreak
• Bill Maher: Panic(!) at the Costco
• Reflect: The Dotard screws up corona virus vaccine deployment schedule during big pharma meeting
• Conan: How to stop the spread of misinformation about coronavirus:

• Daily Show: Can’t find Purell?
• Seth Meyers: Трамп keeps lying about the coronavirus outbreak
• Stephen: Chris Hayes—Americans are unprepared for the disruption coronavirus may cause here
• Wired: An epidemiologist explains how to prepare for the covid19 pandemic
• Conan: A message from Corona beer
• Trevor: Coronavirus hits America
• Jimmy Fallon: Hillary Rodham Clinton on coronavirus response
• The Late Show: The Dotard has a hunch that coronavirus isn’t so deadly
• Seth Meyers: Трамп calls criticism of his coronavirus response a “hoax” as concerns grow
• Jimmy Kimmel: Трамп doubts coronavirus science
• Now This: Doctor calls out Трамп Administration for lack of accurate coronavirus tests
• Stephen: Трамп rails against a Democrat “hoax” as Americans brace for coronavirus disruptions
• WaPo: Inside the race to find a coronavirus vaccine and treatment
• The Daily Show: Трамп thanks Трамп for containing coronavirus
• Seth Meyers: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez talks coronavirus, the 2020 election and the youth vote

Trevor: Toxic PFA chemicals.

Vice News: The abortion Supreme Court case has high stakes for Louisiana and the U.S.

Twenty-twenty Vision:

• Stephen: Joe Biden’s big Win In South Carolina Spelled The End For Buttigieg, Klobuchar, Steyer
• James Corden: Super Joe Biden had a big Tuesday
• Trevor: Biden and Bernie’s big wins and Bloomberg’s big flop
• Now This: Elizabeth Warren ends 2020 campaign with vow to keep fighting
• College Humor: Presidential campaigns are so OBSESSED with me!
• The Late Show: Alter egos—Michael Bloomberg edition
• WaPo: How Joe Biden went from last place to front-runner in three days
• Conan: Joe Biden gloats about his age in a new campaign ad
• Seth Meyers: Late Night 2020 presidential debate
• Late Show: Alter egos, Elizabeth Warren edition
• Now This: What motivates swing voters in key states revealed with Jon Favreau
• Randy Rainbow: ANY DEM WILL DO!:

• The Late Show: Super Tuesday freak
• Songify the News: Joe Biden’s hairy legs
• Jimmy Fallon recaps super Tuesday results
• Stephen: Bloomberg suspends campaign after Biden wins big on super Tuesday
• Full Frontal: Holding out for a Super Tuesday hero
• Trevor: Biden wins South Carolina & Buttigieg and Klobuchar drop out
• Mew York Times: Super Tuesday is over. What just happened?
• Stephen: Candidates drop out!
• Conan on Pete Buttigieg coming out as a Biden supporter
• The Daily Show: Getting off to get out the vote
• The Late Show: Jim Anchorton investigates the South Carolina democratic primary
• James Corden: Super Tuesday Sexy Vinyl
• Jimmy Fallon’s goodbye super Tuesday candidates tribute:

• Stephen: Chris Hayes says Bernie Sanders will need blowout wins to overtake Biden’s delegate lead
• Conan: America isn’t ready for a President who is only 70
• Roll Call: Things losing candidates say
• Bill Maher: Take the money and run!
• WaPo: Campaign money—The billionaires who self-funded their 2020 runs
• Samantha Bee: Super Tuesday hangover
• Jimmy Fallon: Hillary Rodham Clinton on Joe Biden’s super Tuesday win
• The Daily Show: Super Tuesday primary results
• Seth Meyers: Super Tuesday sets up Biden-Sanders battle, Bloomberg drops out
• Conan: Joe Biden’s new campaign slogan

Roll Call: Congressional hits and misses of the week.

Now This: Why bail reform is so necessary.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

I feel like a lot of the wash you hands messages are geared to children. And I get it: Teach the people who can most easily develop lifetime habits. And maybe they can teach their parents things.

That’s good, but for adults: Wash your fucking hands. Are you near a sink? Wash them now. Are you somewhere that you can’t wash your hands? Make a plan for the next time you can wash your hands, and then go do it. Also, to men and other users of the men’s room specifically, wash your hands after using the urinal. Even if you hadn’t literally just touched your penis, it’s still a good idea.

If you’re like me, yesterday’s vote was pretty rough (and if not, congrats). I will, of course, support the Democratic nominee whole heartedly. And not just because President Trump is a garbage nightmare, but because it is a million things that the President does that will be better under Biden than any Republican. And obviously the House and Senate are also important, so work on that if you can.

Please join us tonight as the Seattle Chapter of Drinking Liberally gets together to process and discuss the Super Tuesday returns. I’m sure there’ll be lots of other stuff to discuss as well.

We meet every Tuesday at the Roanoke Park Place Tavern, 2409 10th Ave E, Seattle. Look for us in the back room of the pub beginning about 8pm. Stop by even earlier to catch the East Coast returns as they happen.

Can’t make it to Seattle? There are hundreds of chapters of Living Liberally, including dozens in Washington state, a bunch in Oregon and even a few in Idaho. Find a chapter near you. Or start a new chapter for your community!