On this, the United States’ 229th birthday, I would like to honor the document that has made our nation the greatest economic, military and political power in the history of man, by proposing the following Constitutional amendment:
Neither Congress nor the States shall propose any Constitutional amendment that desecrates the Constitution of the United States by proposing a dumb-fuck, stupid-ass Constitutional amendment that runs contrary to the inviolable principles embodied in the Bill of Rights.
I call this the “Constitution Desecration Amendment.”
I know the wording may still be a little rough around the edges, so any suggested tweaking will be duly considered. In the meanwhile, I’m taking the rest of the day off to celebrate a nation so free, that I have the right to burn its flag… if I so choose.
It is great to be an American.