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Sen. Pam Roach has an anus problem. Last night as the Senate passed bill 5297 that requires medically and scientifically accurate sexual health education, Sen. Roach clenched her…her…fists, and proclaimed:

What does the word anus have to do with sex ed when we’re talking to fourth graders? No parent wants their child to be talking about sex and anuses.

Sen. Roach was outraged by instructional materials for a 4th-6th grade curriculum she found on the King County website that includes the word “anus.” (Sen. Roach has a point—hearing your kid talk about sex and anuses is probably not high on the list of parental moments to savor. But it helps if your kid at least uses scientifically accurate terminology….)

Roach’s problem is that she, apparently, doesn’t understand the difference between sexual health education and “talking about sex.” Apparently, there is no room in her world view for an objective discussion of other anatomical structures as part of an education in reproductive anatomy. Might this attitude come from a belief that sex is only for procreation?

Here is a figure from the King County website that is part of a typical lesson in the 4th-6th grade curriculum that includes “talking about sex and anuses.”

Clearly, there is a leftist agenda at play here–I mean sneaking the bladder, urethra, and anus into the same diagram as the female reproductive system is a pernicious attempt to promote promiscuity and homosexuality (while giving in to the terrorists). The agenda could only have been more blatant by including the G-spot….

I think it’s revealing that Pam Roach found “anus” objectionable in the anatomy lesson, but not “bladder”—revealing about the state of Pam Roach’s own anal sphincter. And I think we can all agree that thinking about Pam Roach’s sphincter is inappropriate at any age.

UPDATE:
Sen. Roach may have a point. From what I understand about trends in teen sex, the diagram emphasizes the wrong end of the alimentary canal. [–Goldy]

Some upcoming events of interest:

• Chocolate for Choice — Join me at NARAL Pro-Choice Washington’s annual fundraiser tonight (March 8,) 6-8PM at Safeco Field’s Ellis Pavilion. I’ll be the one shoving chocolate into my face.

• Joe Conason at Third Place Books — Reporter, columnist and frequent radio and TV commentator Joe Conason will be signing his new book It Can Happen Here: Authoritarian Peril in the Age of Bush, Friday March 9, from 6:30PM to 8PM at Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE in Lake Forest Park. In his 1935 novel It Can’t Happen Here, Sinclair Lewis wrote “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross.” Conason argues it can happen here, and presents a frightening and infuriating thesis. I’ve read the book, and highly recommend it.

• Saturday Family Science: ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ — Lisa Shimizu, of KEXP 90.3 FM and The Climate Project, presents a 40-minute slide show (based on Al Gore’s presentation) especially designed for children 8-12. Local 5th grade science teacher Laura Maier leads an interactive experience that graphically demonstrates the principles of climate change. Every family will receive a copy of The Low Carbon Diet, a how-to guide showing easy ways for families to reduce their carbon footprint. Saturday March 10, 11AM and 1:30PM at Seattle’s Town Hall. (I’m going to the 1:30PM presentation; I’ll be the one with the 9-year-old girl.)

I was tuned in to KUOW yesterday afternoon, listening to callers explain how they intend to vote in the March 13 Viaduct advisory, and I was struck by a number of rebuild supporters who expressed the hope or belief that the final design will be substantially smaller and less obtrusive than the super-sized version that’s currently on the ballot.

I’m guessing this elevated optimism is at least partially fed by the public musings of Seattle City Council President Nick Licata, who recently told the Seattle Times that he preferred a viaduct light option “dramatically reducing the current proposed width of the structure,” and House Speaker Frank Chopp, who continues to insist that a double-decker freeway can somehow be made more elegant and attractive… by adding a third deck.

Yeah… um… except, they’re all smoking crack.

You see, we’ve been repeatedly told that the new viaduct must be substantially taller and wider than the 1950’s model, because of modern building standards, safety concerns, federal law and stuff like that, and maybe that’s true. But as the Times explained on Monday, the primary factor influencing the footprint of the new structure is the footprint of the existing structure, for in an attempt to minimize traffic disruption, WSDOT intends to build the new viaduct on top of and surrounding the old viaduct before tearing it down.

That’s right, the new viaduct must first eat the old viaduct, before it swallows the entire downtown waterfront. New columns will be built outside the footprint of the existing structure. Traffic will continue on the lower deck as the old upper deck is removed and a new upper deck is installed. Then traffic will move to the new upper deck as the old lower deck is removed and replaced. Sounds pretty clever.

A skinnier, “viaduct light” option is not possible without scrapping this construction plan, and that’s simply not going to happen. Indeed, one of the primary selling points of WSDOT’s elevated proposal has always been the three to nine month period the viaduct would be totally closed in both directions, compared to several years for a tunnel.

“One of the things this option can do, that others can’t, is keep traffic moving on Highway 99 during construction,” said David Dye, urban-corridors administrator for the state Department of Transportation (DOT). “That was a very, very important factor.”

Construction of a tunnel would close the highway completely for nearly three years.

Elevated-structure supporters such as Warren Aakervik, president of Ballard Oil, call it the only acceptable option, because it would keep fuel, parts and other goods on the move, preserving maritime business.

Sure, the whole convoluted process will take ten to twelve years, but at least it will keep “fuel, parts and other goods on the move.” And oh yeah, people too.

Or would it?

Notice what David Dye says… that this option keeps “traffic moving on Highway 99 during construction.” The revised Environmental Impact Statement uses similar language, stating “SR 99 reduced to 2 lanes in each direction” for about seven years.

WSDOT is very specific. We keep hearing that SR 99 will be reduced to 2 lanes in each direction. But they don’t necessarily say that they’ll be keeping that traffic on the viaduct.

Of course, you can’t fit four lanes on a deck that only holds three, and in fact, if you read the fine print you discover that for four to five years, only the northbound traffic actually remains on the viaduct. The southbound traffic is detoured off 99 at Broad and Denny, follows Broad to the waterfront via an elbow shaped aerial trestle, and than travels along Alaska Way until Pike Street before another aerial trestle connects back into the existing viaduct.

So, I guess you could say that two lanes of southbound SR 99 remain open… as long as you redesignate Broad Street and Alaska Way as SR 99. (And ignore the fact that during this entire time, Alaska Way is apparently reduced to one lane in each direction.)

Hmm. By this rhetorical logic, we could tear down the viaduct and build a tunnel while keeping SR 99 at three lanes in each direction, simply by designating Fourth and Second avenues as northbound and southbound SR 99 respectively. No fancy aerial trestles needed.

Despite what we’ve been repeatedly told, only two lanes of northbound 99 remain open during construction. For nearly five years, southbound traffic gets shunted onto surface streets, and that’s a fact.

Other interesting tidbits from the EIS:

• Columbia on-ramp closed for 45 months (the access point for anyone in downtown wanting to proceed south-bound on the viaduct.)
• Seneca off-ramp closed for 24 months (the access point to downtown for anyone proceeding north-bound on the viaduct.)
• Elliott on-ramps closed for 72 months (the access points in both directions for Belltown residents or Ballard, Magnolia, Interbay and West Queen Anne users who access the viaduct via 15th NW and Elliott avenue.)
• Western ramps closed for 63 months (affects northbound viaduct traffic that needs to exit to Western to access the neighborhoods listed above.)
• Alaska Way reduced to 1 lane in each direction for 10 full years.
• The entire shebang shut down in both directions, nights and weekends, for much the construction period.

Oh, and here’s one I never heard about before. SR 99 will be reduced to three lanes north of Denny — one northbound, two southbound — for 30 months. It’s not clear why, or how far north, but for those of you north of Denny who thought you’d be free from disruption, think again.

Look, no replacement option can be constructed without major disruptions, but if you believe WSDOT’s pitch that the Viaduct will continue to operate at 50-percent of capacity during the construction, then I have a bridge to sell you. Um… make that a viaduct.

Microsoft founder Bill Gates testified before a Senate committee today about education. He did digress, however, into a topic that has perked my interest for some time:

Gates said the nation’s economy depends on keeping the country’s borders open to highly skilled workers, especially those with a science or engineering background. Federal law provides 65,000 H1-B visas for scientists, engineers, computer programmers and other professionals every budget year. High-tech and other employers say that’s not enough.

“Even though it may not be realistic, I don’t think there should be any limit,” Gates said, adding that Microsoft hasn’t been able to fill approximately 3,000 technical jobs in the United States because of a shortage of skilled workers.

In short, Democrats have been cool to the idea of lifting the H1-B cap on basic labor grounds. Letting in foreign workers drivers down wages and take jobs from high-skilled Americans, or at least that’s the common refrain.

While I understand the concept of protectionism, and why it’s good for some sectors of the US economy, I don’t see why it’s a good idea to train thousands of foreign students for our technology economy only to kick them out when they graduate. What are these students going to do? Instead of working at Microsoft or Apple, they’re going to start their own companies in Asia (or wherever they’re from) to compete with American companies. Not so great.

It would be as if the Seattle Mariners first round draft picks were allowed to go as high as AAA, only to be cut loose to sign with another team. Dumb.

Ann Coulter, speaking over the weekend at the Center for Reclaiming America, about the seven abortion clinic doctors and staff who have been killed over the years:

“Those few abortionists were shot, or, depending on your point of view, had a procedure with a rifle performed on them. I’m not justifying it, but I do understand how it happened…”

But then, who am I to criticize Ann Coulter? She’s only joking.

There, I said it.

President Bush is a gift to the Democratic Party. When he leaves office in 2009, Democrats have the chance to send at least four new Senators to DC. States MN, OR, ME and NH have vulnerable incumbents. Colorado is an open seat in a state which is trending blue. Hell, even Virginia, Kentucky, or even Mississippi could break our way.

In the House, Democrats are poised to hold seats won in ’06, while expanding their majority. Even the functionally retarded Sheriff Reichert is keeping his head down. This must be why, on the Eastside, you’re more likely to see the Zodiac Killer in public than Dave Reichert.

I understand why some of my Democratic friends are excited about impeachment, even if it’s all but impossible to do. Folks are pissed, and they want justice, Sergio Leone-style. But handing the GOP a stick to bash you with ain’t smart politics.

Besides, for the last six years, it’s been all about George W. Bush. Now that we’ve got Congress, it ought to be about the American people.

Just sayin’.

Sen. John McCain’s presidential campaign sent out a press release this morning touting support from seven state attorneys general, including our very own Rob McKenna.

Both McCain and McKenna are often portrayed in the media as the kind of straight-talking, moderate Republicans who tend to appeal to WA’s independent and cross-over voters… when in fact they are both ruthlessly partisan political opportunists whose conservative credentials are well established with all but the most far-right-leaning elements of their already far-right-leaning party.

Take for example the quote McKenna provided for McCain’s press release:

“Senator McCain continues to garner support among legal and law enforcement leaders because of his stances on state rights and his role in brokering the confirmations of Justices Roberts and Alito,” said McKenna. “I’m honored to give John my support and I appreciate his leadership on the issues that count.”

The issues that count.

No, it’s not campaign finance reform that McKenna lauds — the issue that originally earned McCain his faux-maverick status — it’s his role in confirming Justices Roberts and Alito, two of the most far-right-leaning justices ever to serve on the Supreme Court… justices who would overturn Roe v. Wade, uphold the President’s suspension of habeas corpus, and vastly expand executive power. These are partisan, right-wing, Republican justices — darlings of the Federalist Society. And McKenna thinks they’re just grand.

I suppose coming from a state GOP that includes the likes of Val Stevens, and has nominated Ellen Craswell and John Carlson for high office, McKenna might come off as a relative moderate. But while our state’s editorialists seem intent on talking up the carefully crafted McKenna and his prospects for governor or the US Senate, they willfully ignore the shrewd realpolitik that has defined his career. How can McKenna be constantly lauded for bipartisanship without mentioning his extraordinarily close relationship with the viciously partisan political thugs at the BIAW? And how can the media continue to accept McKenna’s mildly pro-choice statements at face value, when he applauds McCain’s efforts to confirm Supreme Court justices who would take that choice away?

McCain is the most conservative candidate running with a shot at the GOP nomination, and McKenna has enthusiastically endorsed him because he is the viable candidate who best represents his own values. And what are McCain’s self-proclaimed values?

“I am confident that this nation is not a center — I think they’re right. I think they’re basically conservative, the majority are basically conservatives, and I think that if we get back on our message, get back to the principles, philosophies and messages of Ronald Reagan and others, I think we’ll do just fine. But first we have to get over our state of denial.”

WA’s media has to get over its state of denial too. Rob McKenna is a conservative. That is how he would legislate. That is how he would govern. And as such, he is out of step with the mainstream of WA voters.

UPDATE:
Erica Barnett slogged that McKenna’s “no moderate” back on Feb 23, when the AP first reported he would endorse McCain. In that article, the AP matter-of-factly describes McKenna as “a moderate.”

That’s my point. It is not just the editorialists who should be held accountable for how they are misreporting McKenna’s politics, but the supposedly objective reporters. It is not an undisputed fact that McKenna is a moderate, and thus McKenna should not be described as such in a news report without attribution or citation.

Over on Huffington Post, Mark Green introduces Air America Radio v2.0:

Today my family formally purchases and takes over Air America Radio. Why? Because if progressive values were a stock, now is the time to buy.

That’s great and all — the Greens seem to have the resources and the passion to make Air America work, and I’m hopeful they have the know-how. I wish them the best of luck.

But it will take more than a turn-around at the network for Air America to thrive in the Seattle market. If local affiliate AM-1090 wants to build its local audience, it’s going to have to put a little money and effort into building some local programming.

Live and local, that’s what makes 710-KIRO so compelling, and such an integral part of the community. When I’m on the air weekends, 7-10PM, I’m the only live, local talk host on the dial. And when I got called in to do wall-to-wall storm coverage back in December, it may not have been my usual schtick, but I was proud to be able to provide such an important service to my neighbors.

Whatever its financial problems Air America helped change the landscape of talk radio, proving liberal talk could be a viable format in many markets, and creating opportunity for other liberal talkers on competing networks and stations. My total lack of prior radio experience aside, I’m not sure that 710-KIRO would have been quite as willing to take a chance on an unabashedly partisan, liberal talker like me, if Air America hadn’t already paved the way.

But as much as I’m rooting for Air America to succeed, I hardly ever listen to it anymore, and when I do, I usually stream the network feed rather than listen to AM-1090 over the air. That’s partially due to scheduling, and partially due to my allegiance to 710-KIRO. But it’s mostly because my passion is local politics, and on that subject AM-1090 is silent.

Even national issues have local angles — angles that are completely lost on a station that has no local presence. Two of the three biggest national news stories yesterday raised very local concerns for the Puget Sound Region: the growing scandal over out-patient care for Iraq War soldiers and veterans, and the congressional hearings over the firing of eight U.S. Attorneys. But local listeners who got their information from AM-1090’s national programming would have missed the relevant local coverage of the events.

So best of luck to the Greens and Air America Radio v2.0, but a little friendly advice to AM-1090 from your competition over at 710-KIRO: go local. And do it soon.

I caught Goldy’s half hour on “The Dori Monson Show.” I’m not blowin’ smoke; I think the chief did good. I’m not sure if Dori knows the meaning of “context,” however, and I encourage Dave Ross to highlight the word in the KIRO On-Air Staff’s Dictionary. It might prove useful.

That said…

Did you hear the first half of the hour? Dori’s guest was Neal Boortz, author and talk show host. Dori spent the half hour basically smooching Boortz on the rear. I mean, really, Monson was laying it on thick. He was feeding him the “Local Outrage of the Day.” Dori told him a story of a school that taught communitarian values to students by forcing the kids to tear down their “Lego town” and rebuild it using Marx-Leninist teachings. Boortz then launched into the evils of government-run schools. Dori had to interrupt the guy to tell him it was a private school… Oh well, I guess its a matter of “context.”

Lastly…

Boortz happens to be a libertarian. Dori saaaays he’s a libertarian, but he’s a Bush Buddy on the Iraq War and the Drug War. It’s like those girls you knew of in high school, the ones who went to Third Base with entire football team but declared themselves virgins. Right. Methinks Dori needs to own up to the fact that he’s one of the 30% that thinks Bush is doing a super job.

I don’t want to be too hard on D-Mon. After all, he gave Goldy his big break. Radio is a business. When I hear my liberal buddies whine about how Dori’s a douche bag and an idiot, I have to tell them to just turn off the radio. Dori may be wrong on everything, but he’s got the radio gig down pat.

Even if he’s got a “man-crush” on Neal Boortz.

The Seattle chapter of Drinking Liberally meets tonight (and every Tuesday), 8PM at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E. Come join me for some hoppy beer and hopped up conversation.

Let’s all drink a toast to Scooter Libby, and take bets on how long it takes Bush to get out his pardon pen crayon.

Not in Seattle? Liberals will also be drinking tonight in the Tri-Cities and Vancouver. A full listing of Washington’s eleven Drinking Liberally chapters is available here.

I can’t tell you how heartening it is to see somebody at KIRO finally promoting my weekend show. Yesterday Dori Monson called me a hypocrite for criticizing Ann Coulter for calling John Edwards a “faggot,” when in fact I had implied the same of Tim Eyman back on one of my early podcasts.

I’ll save the rebuttal for 1:35PM today, when I’ll be in the studio on Dori’s show, explaining how some guy in a bar is not quite the same thing as being the featured speaker at the preeminent conservative gathering of the year.

So be sure to tune in to 710-KIRO for the fireworks. It’ll be fun. Kinda like KVI’s “The Commentators,” only entertaining, because unlike John Carlson and Ken Schram, Dori and I tend to disagree on almost everything.

UPDATE:
I just heard the clip that Dori was referring to, and it was of me quoting The Stranger describing Tim as “shockingly faggy.”

I haven’t gone back to listen to the podcasts, but my recollection is that this was from a bit we called “Tuesday Night Outing,” in which we would take an outspoken critic of gay rights and ask the panel if they think the critic is gay. The joke being, of course, that we always concluded the critic was gay.

Context is everything.

UPDATE, UPDATE:
Well, I thought that went well. We passionately argued on air, and had a friendly discussion off. I’m guessing it was pretty good radio. I wouldn’t mind doing an hour with Dori on a regular basis.

Oh… and for those who listened, check out Dan Savage and Andrew Sullivan on the use of the word “faggot.”

Count 1: (Obstruction of Justice)… GUILTY
Count 2: (Perjury)… GUILTY
Count 3: (False Statement)… NOT GUILTY
Count 4: (Perjury)… GUILTY
Count 5: (Perjury)… GUILTY

Lewis “Scooter” Libby, the former Chief of Staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, was found guilty on four of five counts of lying and obstructing the FBI investigation into the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame’s identity. For those Bush defenders who continue to insist that the administration did nothing wrong, you gotta ask: why bother conducting a criminal cover-up of something that was perfectly ethical and legal?

President Harry Truman famously claimed as his personal motto, “The Buck Stops Here,” explaining in his farewell address: “The President — whoever he is — has to decide. He can’t pass the buck to anybody. No one else can do the deciding for him. That’s his job.”

President Bush chooses to echo Truman by ineloquently declaring “I’m the decider” when it comes to the conduct of the war in Iraq and other executive functions, but refuses to take responsibility for his administration’s many missteps, failures and crimes.

In the wake of the Libby verdict, the President owes the American people a personal apology.

From Talking Points Memo:

More bombshells: Rep. Doc Hastings’ (R-WA) then chief of staff called Seattle U.S. Attorney John McKay to inquire about whether the feds were investigating allegations of voter fraud in the 2004 Washington governor’s race, McKay testified. McKay said he stopped the chief of staff before he went too far with his questions, but was troubled enough by the call to discuss it with his top assistant.

Ongoing coverage on the hearings from TPM Muckraker.

UPDATE:
TPM Muckraker has streaming video of McKay’s testimony, describing how he was “pressed” by Hastings’ chief of staff Ed Cassidy on investigating WA’s 2004 gubernatorial election. As Jimmy (from McCranium) points out in my comment thread:

Ed Cassidy was the same guy Hastings tried to install as the Ethics Chief legal council which of course led to the complete shutdown of the committee itself because it violated committee rules. Looks like Doc doesn’t like to follow the rules and neither does his chief of staff.

Happy Birthday Osama….

Barring any surprises, Osama bin Laden will mark his fiftieth birthday on March 10. Five years ago, it seemed unlikely that the man would survive to celebrate the occasion, at least not outside U.S. custody. Not only does al-Qaeda’s leader remain at large, but he is rallying the troops. Recent reports suggest bin Laden and his top deputy Ayman al-Zawahiri have reestablished their chain of command (NYT) and begun operating new training camps in the northwestern Pakistani region of North Waziristan. The top Taliban leader in southern Afghanistan recently told a British television station that he and bin Laden regularly “share plans” (CNN).  

Critics of the Bush administration suggest bin Laden would be long gone had the United States stayed focused on its mission in Afghanistan and not become mired in Iraq, often referring to Afghanistan as “The Forgotten War” (Boston Globe).

Sen. Brian Hatfield at Postman:

In the 28-19 Senate vote last week for the domestic partnership bill only one senator’s vote was likely in question. Sen. Brian Hatfield, D-Raymond, had a pro-gay rights record while in the House. He voted against the Defense of Marriage Act in 1998. But Thursday he was one of four Democrats who voted against Senate Bill 5336.

“Something I didn’t appreciate and understand 12 years ago (as a freshman lawmaker) was that people of faith are very concerned this is going to hurt our society,”

I respect the Senator a great deal, and I don’t want to pick on him. He’s not being hateful like the batshit insane Sen. Val Stevens (R-Old Testament). But I must ask, Senator Hatfield:

Who’s getting “kicked in the teeth” when longtime couples have the chance to exercise rights of inheritance? Who’s personal and deeply held beliefs are trampled when one gay parent cannot make health decisions for the couple’s child in an emergency?

As a fellow straight guy, I’m not a natural advocate for the rights of gays and lesbians. I mean, I’m straight. I already have all the rights I want. But it seems an affront to common decency that we haven’t, until now, afforded our gay friends the kind of common sense legal framework all us straights take for granted.

When I think “kick in the teeth,” I think about families with two dads or two moms, and what they’ve endured. Do domestic partnerships hurt society? Hardly. In fact, I believe they make it stronger.