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Samantha Bee: Stay home and fill out your 2020 census!

Jimmy Fallon: Joe Biden talks quarantine campaigning and COVID-19 response.

Bill Maher: Working from home.

#ТрампPlague:

• Desi Lydic talks to literally the hottest doctor in America
• WaPo: Sean Hannity wants to rewrite history on FAUX’s coronavirus coverage.
• The Late Show: King Kong makes a nonessential visit to the Empire State Building
• Bruce W. Nelson: Don-a-rrhea!
• Vox: Coronavirus is not the flu. It’s worse.
• Trevor: Gun sales are up, jobs are down & Dr. Fauci faces threats
• Stephen: Jonathan Karl is on the front lines of Трамп’s coronavirus press briefings
• Seth Meyers: Трамп brags about his ratings during coronavirus pandemic
• Now This: The Dotard thinks medical professionals are stealing masks.
• J-L Cauvin: Трамп tries to help Georgia
• The Late Show: Bob Dylan sings lengthy songs about U.S. Presidents to help pass the time during the quarantine
• Samantha Bee: Coronavirus for her!
• Bill Maher: New Rule: Worst responder:

• John Oliver: Coronavirus Part III
• Francesca Fiorentini: Is the economy trying to kill us?
• Mark Fiore: Are you smarter than a grownup?.
• Daily Show: The Dotard Трамп—Change we can believe in
• Now This: Brutal political ad calls out Трамп coronavirus testing failures
• Jaboukie Young-White: The search for a coronavirus vaccine
• Bruce W. Nelson: Three cheers for Трамп’s TV ratings!
• WaPo: What Трамп has said about China and the coronavirus
• BuzzFeed: Disaster expert reveals common mistakes of social distancing
• Trevor: The Dotard’s “new tone” on coronavirus
• The Late Show: Трамп claims hospitals are hoarding medical supplies
• Robert Reich: How to prepare for the Трамп recession
• Seth Meyers: Sen. Bernie Sanders discusses COVID-19, Medicare for all and coronavirus stimulus
• Jimmy Dore: DR. Fauci calls Jimmy Dore & is frank:

• J-L Cauvin: Трамп goes golfing during the coronavirus.
• Stephen: America’s obsession with Gov. Cuomo has gone to a weird place
• Now This: Chris Mann’s quarantine parody of Adele’s “Hello”
• Mother Jones: The Трамп administration ignored Warren’s and Murray’s pandemic preparedness questions in 2018
• OPR: Jesus Christ cancels return to earth amid pandemic
• Daily Show: Trump’s new coronavrius strategy
• Wired: Dr. Seema Yasmin debunks 10 coronavirus myths
• Full Frontal: An honest coronavirus briefing from the White House
• Trevor chats with Bill Gates on fighting coronavirus
• Bruce W. Nelson: Now has come the time
• J-L Cauvin: Трамп takes action for Louisiana.
• Trevor: Leadership during coronavirus—Where Does Трамп stack up?
• Lauren Mayer: When Gramma braved the line at Costco:

• Stephen: Speaker Nancy Pelosi on how we go forward has to have transparency and accountability
• Lars von Retriever: Metal Трамп—Down with the Sickness (disturbed)
• Trevor: The Dotard Трамп—“Tiger King” President
• Stephen Colbert and John Oliver on Трамп’s coronavirus response
• Jimmy Fallon: “Weird Al” Yankovic turns “One More Minute” into a social distancing anthem
• Now This: Why abortion should not be limited during the COVID-19 pandemic
• The New Yorker: Why social distancing is our best chance at beating coronavirus
• Bruce W. Nelson: The devil has come
• Seth Meyers with some coronavirus news
• The Late Show: Трамп unveils the latest medical testing technology
• J-L Cauvin: Helpful Трамп says to follow Dr. Fauci
• Trevor: Gavin Newsom on handling the coronavirus in California

Full Frontal: You’ve never seen anything like this.

Bill Maher chats with Sen. Bernie Sanders

Samantha Bee: The 2020 election—What do you have to lose?

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

The State stay at home order has been extended to May. That is going to be tough for a lot of people. And may well be extended further.

Downtown Seattle sidewalks are still too cramped to do much walking. So I am mostly stuck in a studio apartment. But I still have work, and am doing OK.

Please wash your hands.

Another afternoon thread.

I usually work 8:30 to 4:30 because of my public transit situation. Most of the rest of the office is 9:00 to 5:00. I have continued to start at 8:30 even though my desk is literally 10 feet away from my bed, and I can walk it.

Anyway, wash your hands.

How is everyone holding up? I am going a bit stir crazy. I look out my window and I want to yell “6 feet” to people standing close to each other, or God forbid sharing a cigarette. I assumed that I would eventually be the person who yells at the kids from my window, but I am 20 years ahead of schedule.

Anyway, wash you hands right now.

BuzzFeed: The 2020 census explained by puppies and kittens.

Winlar: GFOAD:

The Dotard Трамп And Other Agents Of Death:

• The Daily Show: Трамп’s best word bracket—Round 3
• Bruce W. Nelson: Social distance has weakened my resistance
• Minute Physics: How to tell if we’re beating COVID-19
• Trevor: Dr. Fauci answers questions about coronavirus
• Now This: Arizona man dies after trying Трамп-suggested coronavirus “cure”
• Seth Meyers: White House and Senate reach deal on coronavirus stimulus package
• Rachel Maddow: Fighting COVID-19
• Chris Hayes: If there are not sufficient ventilators, people will needlessly die
• Lauren Mayer: Teaching at home
• Daily Show: PSA for the unwanted groceries
• Jonathan Mann: Let all the old people die:

• Wired: ER doctor explains how they’re handling COVID-19
• Trevor: States enforce quarantines to discourage travel
• Now This: Survivor recalls 1918 flu pandemic that killed 50 million people globally
• Mark Fiore: Grand Ol’ Death Cult.
• The Daily Show: The gift that keeps on giving—Love toilet paper
• PSA: Stay the fuck at home!
• Bruce W. Nelson: The COVID dance, opus 19
• Seth Meyers: Трамп lashes out as Americans remain under lockdown
• Trevor: Трамп & the “cure worse than the problem” debate
• Now This: Viral poem describes living through the coronavirus pandemic
• J-L Cauvin: The Dotard Трамп vs God on Easter
• Samantha Bee: COVID-19 is the world’s worst coworker
• Daily Show: Remembering when coronavirus was contained
• Vice News: Трамп spent months saying everything is fine as U.S. coronavirus cases skyrocketed
• Randy Rainbow: social distance

• The Daily Show: Bleeping The Dotard’s lies
• Mother Jones: Трамп vs actual world leaders during a global pandemic
• Seth Meyers: Трамп fights with governors & reporters over coronavirus response
• Jordan Klepper versus Трамп supporters
• The New Yorker: How the coronavirus pandemic compares to the Spanish flu
• Samantha Bee: The episode of ER no one asked to be a part of
• Vox: Why paid sick leave is essential to beating coronavirus
• Trevor: Faster tests, postponed Olympics & states on lockdown
• Vice News: Трамп’s dangerous and racist coronavirus name game
• Jonathan Mann: Gimme shelter in place
• Seth Meyers: Трамп wants to reopen America as coronavirus pandemic accelerates
• The Daily Show: Coronavirus briefings are the new Трамп rally
• J-L Cauvin: Mike Pence and The Dotard Трамп press conference
• Trevor: Трамп’s big plan to “pack churches” on Easter

Full Frontal: Shocking—Democrats negotiate with Mitch McConnell using his favorite move.
Roll Call: Congressional hits and misses of the week.

Twenty-Twenty Vision:

• Jimmy Kimmel: An interview with Vice President Joe Biden
• Full Frontal: Furry politics
• The Daily Show: FAUX News is very concerned about this presidential candidate’s brain

Full Frontal: Women of Congress dunking highlights

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

I did it again. Late Open Thread. I am giving myself permission to fail, and as such am fine with this. I have another good week at work, and then may get my hours reduced. Hope the unemployment is good if that comes. My landlord is still flexible and I will definitely be good on that for a while.

Wash your hands right now.

Sorry! The days are kind of blending together and I can’t write this on my commute. Go wash your hands right now.

Are you holding up? Are you going a bit stir crazy? I am. Living Downtown, you can take a walk and try social distancing, but not everyone is cooperating. Or nobody knows what 6 feet is. Seriously give me some more room.

And also, wash your hands.

My Corona!

• Daily Show: Трамп puts his racism on full display with coronavirus
• Trevor: Quarantine Dispatch—Трамп gets serious & NYC shuts down
• The Atlantic: James Hamblin, M.D., answers your coronavirus questions
• Lauren Meyer: Can’t help touching that face of mine
• Conan’s guide to taking selfies while social distancing
• Robert Reich: What’s missing from the coronavirus bill
• The Light Show With Stephen Colb-Air: We’re all in this together
• Samantha Bee: Beeing at home—Wash your hams
• Randy Rainbow: The CORONAVIRUS Lament:

• Jimmy Kimmel: Formal Friday, testy Трамп & the killers
• Daily Show: The future of handshakes
• Now This: Top 5 most shocking coronavirus stories this week
• Mother Jones: Трамп acts like a disaster movie villain
• Trevor: China recovers & U.S. Senators profit off the pandemic
• Ari Melber: From ‘hoax’ to war—Reversing course, Трамп invokes ‘war’ powers to combat coronavirus
• Daily Show: Inspirational achievements under quarantine
• AJ+: Your most Googled COVID-19 questions answered by an expert
• Trevor: Трамп’s bullshit corona cure & sad spring breakers
• The New York Times: How coronavirus racism infected my high school
• Now This: Bill Gates warned us about pandemics multiple times
• Wired: Dr. Seema Yasmin answers 50 of the most Googled coronavirus questions
• John Oliver: Coronavirus II
• WaPo: Five ways to deal with coronavirus induced anxiety
• The Late Show: A special “social distancing” edition
• Bruce W. Nelson: The COVID 19 lullaby:

• The Atlantic: The great toilet-paper panic
• Conan: Homemade hand sanitizer
• Vox: How soap kills the coronavirus
• Lauren Mayer: We’re having a pandemic but I swear I’ve just got seasonal allergies
• Daily Show: Coronavirus thank force
• Mark Fiore: Keep your distance!
• Trevor: Extended thoughts on Трамп’s initial response to coronavirus

The Daily Show: Kosta’s stock trading tips

Misc. Dotard Трамп Crap:

• Bruce W. Nelson: Kiss that bottom (The Mike Pence theme song)
• The Daily Show: Michael Kosta and Roy Wood Jr. play the Трамп’s best words bracket
• Lars von Retriever: MetalТрамп—Sad But True
• The Daily Show: Трамп’s best word bracket round 2

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

Dear Senator Murray,

I am writing to thank you for your leadership in this difficult time. Specifically, I want to thank you for pushing for sick leave protections for all workers. I know that it has not passed yet, but I hope that you will keep pushing. We need to be in this together by staying apart.

Thank you,

Carl Ballard

(For the rest of you, wash your hands right now.)

I am very grateful that Seattle has suspended evictions for the time being. It’s not a system that can go on indefinitely, but God almighty it’s needed now. My building posted notices about working with people to pay rent. They should keep that up after the virus is over.

How is the social distancing going? I didn’t leave my apartment over the weekend except to do laundry. There aren’t many machines, and they’re all packed into a row with the laundry on one side and the dryer on the other. So there’s usually a bit of jostling. But it was all very polite and one person at a time keeping our distance. I don’t like it, but I guess it’s the next few months at least.

Mayor Pete Buttigieg guest hosts the Jimmy Kimmel Show.

Now This: Here’s why this Seattle millionaire CEO wants to be taxed more.

Roll Call: Congressional hits and misses of the week (sans coronavirus content!).

We’re All Gonna DIE!

• Stephen: Трамп hasn’t been tested for coronavirus despite possible exposure, and refuses to take precautions
• WaPo: Fact checking The Dotard’s address to the nation about coronavirus
• Trevor: Coronavirus misinformation & toilet paper panic
• Seth Meyers: Trump addresses the nation on the coronavirus pandemic
• Now This: Трамп keeps pretending coronavirus is no big deal
• Bill Maher: Surreal time
• Jimmy Kimmel: The 5 Stages of coronavirus
• Stephen: Neil deGrasse Tyson on coronavirus—Will people listen to science?
• Conan: Трамп downplays coronavirus
• Vice News: The Dotard wants to make sure you know who’s to blame for the coronavirus
• The Daily Show: PANDUMBIC (the official trailer):

• Trevor: Трамп’s coronavirus address, blooper reel included
• Lauren Mayer: There’s plenty of toilet paper for everyone
• Now This: Hillary Clinton defends Obama Admin from Трамп Theories, coronavirus blame
• Stephen: Dr. Sanjay Gupta—The U.S. failed to have coronavirus tests ready for the public
• WIRED: Could mass quarantines in the U.S. work?—Health expert explains what you need to know.
• Seth Meyers: Markets plunge as a lifelong scam artist lies about coronavirus response
• The Late Show: The UW’s corona express
• Samantha Bee: Coronavirus is not an excuse to be racist
• Now This: FAUX News coverage of coronavirus vs. ebola
• Stephen: Rep. Matt Gaetz forced to self-quarantine on Air Force One with The Dotard on board
• WaPo: What the 1918 influenza pandemic can teach us about the coronavirus outbreak
• Trevor: Combatting coronavirus with “social distancing”
• Seth Meyers: Трамп contradicts experts as coronavirus is declared a pandemic
• Rachel Maddow: Infection rate charts forecast steep rise in US coronavirus cases
• Jimmy Fallon: Coronavirus fact vs. fiction
• Mark Fiore: The healthiest man on the planet.
• Mother Jones: Watch Трамп’s coronavirus hypocrisy in two simple clips
• The Late Show: Coming to a port near you—The bug boat
• Stephen: Daily life is changing for millions of Americans as coronavirus crisis grows
• Chris Hayes: How Трамп’s mistakes made coronavirus worse
• Daily Show: PANDUMBIC 2 (The sequel):

• Jimmy Kimmel: The Dotard Трамп is terrified of getting coronavirus
• Now This: Fact-checking Трамп’s coronavirus Oval Office address
• Jimmy Fallon: Coronavirus state of emergencies, cheap flights and cancellations
• Trevor: Bill de Blasio—Confronting the coronavirus outbreak in New York City
• Stephen: The Dotard golfs while markets tumble and health officials rush to produce coronavirus tests
• Sky New: COVID-19 is ‘much, much worse than Ebola’
• Conan: Embark on a coronavirus-free solo cruise
• The Late Show: Introducing Boston hand sanitizer
• Trevor: Coronavirus impacts Tom Hanks, the NBA and monkeys in Thailand
• Stephen: Трамп, who has been exposed to coronavirus, tries to reassure the public that he’s in control

Vice News: This woman survived a mass shooting and is working to prevent the next one.

John Oliver: Sheriffs.

The Dotard Трамп and Other Life-long Scam Artists:

• Seth Meyers: Трамп’s family profits off policy meant to help low-income communities
• Robert Reich: Will The Dotard Трамп get reelected?
• Now This: Who is Mike Pence?
• Bill Maher: Ass kisser of the month:

• Daily Show: Трамп’s best words—Bracket edition
• Full Frontal: Don’t mess with Texas—The Longhorn state’s tussle with Trump’s border wall.

Now This: Here is what the world would look like with no oceans.

The Atlantic: The world without giraffes

Jimmy Kimmel: The week in unnecessary censorship.

Twenty-Twenty Vision:

• Stephen: Joe Biden threatens to fight a pro-gun voter in Detroit
• SNL Weekend Update: Biden is the front runner.
• Full Frontal: Holding out for a super Tuesday hero—Part 2
• James Corden: An old white guy won Tuesday’s primaries
• Bill Maher: Rachel Bitecofer—Election whisperer
• Stephen: Biden’s big Tuesday night
• Full Frontal: Holding out for a super Tuesday hero—Part 3
• Trevor: Biden wins big and beefs with a union worker
• Stephen: Dr. Sanjay Gupta—The 2020 campaign must change shape in light of the pandemic

Vox: How San Francisco erased a neighborhood.

Samantha Bee: America’s gig-based economy gets zero stars.

Last week’s Friday Night Multimedia Extravaganza can be found here.

I have switched from being a politics person to going all in on hand washing. For goodness sake, wash your hands. Right now. If there are other people around, have them wash their hands, or if they’re young, wash their hands for them. Get them all sudsed up. Make sure to get the back. In between your fingers.

It’s too close to call the Presidential primary Washington. Usually I have some idea about who is going to win. The later ballots typically break for the more liberal candidate. But the remaining ballots to count are from it being a 2 person race, and a lot of the ballots that have been counted were cast when there more people running. So who knows?

In any case, please wash your hands right now.