Archives for December 2007

I’ve heard a lot of talk about making the city more family friendly, but apparently, it’s all just talk. Sure, the Fun Forest was dingy and cheesy and a bit of a calculated rip-off, but it didn’t require a grueling commute to a state fair, or an onerous admission fee and a strip-search for contraband food from the pocket fleecing folks at Wild Waves. Best of all, it was just one of many attractions at the Center, and as such could be “enjoyed” in small doses — a trip to the Science Center and/or the Children’s Museum, a splash in the fountain and a couple of rides — that was a full (and affordable) day of entertainment for a family with young children.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been in the EMP or Key Arena or the Space Needle or many of the other adult “attractions” the Center boasts, but the Fun Forest? Since my daughter rode her first roller coaster there at the tender age of two, it’s been a frequent destination. Sure, I sometimes kinda dread the inevitable question during nearly any Center visit, “Can we go on the rides?”… but I don’t think I’ve ever regretted caving in. And neither has my daughter.

Oh, I’m told the Fun Forest has been a money loser for years, but as a city we subsidize much stupider things, and while that shiny, new $52 million trolley might be nice, it sure ain’t no roller coaster. So before the council closes the book on this issue I urge them to take one last look at the Fun Forest through fresh eyes — the eyes of a child. Throughout my adult life I’ve been the occasional target of exasperated directives to “grow the hell up,” but it wouldn’t hurt occasionally for more folks to do the opposite.

I say what the hell. It’s not all that bad, folks. Consider, for example, the gathering anticipation, the electrifying undercurrent, the swelling municipal pride and giddiness over the new streetcar system, our very own SLUT. Tomorrow morning hordes of suited dignitaries and eager sycophants will board the cute, colorful trolleys for the inaugural runs from one end of town to the same end of town.

If only Paul Allen could helicopter in from one of his many yachts for the opening festivities, my day would be complete. No wait, the capper would really be all the homeless people in Seattle lining the route, shoulder to shoulder, waving to the passing gentry while holding signs, “Hungry, Broke, Anything Will Help.” Now there’s an image that would really bring me some holiday cheer.

Truth be told, I could not wait till tomorrow to experience the SLUT. A friend of mine and I yesterday walked the entire line, up and back from Fred Hutch, as the blue and orange lines did their test runs (c’mon let’s be honest here, it’s purple, not blue). And knock me over with a feather: It was actually faster to walk the route than it would’ve been to ride the trolley. It took us 21 minutes to Westlake Mall’s stop, about 5 minutes faster than the trolley, whose driver said he was trying to simulate actual operating conditions. Now granted, we tend to walk kind of fast. But even with a stop at Whole Foods for a few groceries, we almost beat the damn thing back to Hutch. And let’s face it, most of the time folks won’t be walking the entire line. To suggest that this farcical amusement park ride will fill any transportation need is like saying a new basketball arena would give us a championship NBA team.

You call this blue?

Just for another basis of comparison I rode my bike on the line back downtown from Hutch. It took me under 8 minutes, which means I could ride downtown, back to Hutch, and back downtown and still beat the trolley. I figure I could even shave a minute or two off that time by taking an alternate route. The SLUT line, as has been noted, is extremely dangerous to bikes, since the rails run parallel on both sides of Westlake with little curbside clearance, given that cars can park along the route. In fact, there’s not much clearance between the trolley and parked vehicles. You probably want to make sure you’re right up against the curb, and maybe leave the SUV on some other street.

The trip has been compared by the ever cynical press to “riding on air,” and at $1.50 per 1.3 miles (unclear whether 1 ticket gets you both ways) it’s only slightly more expensive than jet travel. The $52 million or so pricetag figures out to just under $8,000 a foot. Now yes, the natterers will point out that you can buy a pretty good used car for that, but the point is getting people out of their cars. So all those drivers who hop in their SUVs to go 4 blocks for a latte will now just take the SLUT instead.

Of course, the above estimates are in 6:12 a.m. Tuesday morning dollars. Our friend John Fox points out that the SLUT cost thermometer just keeps going up — by $1 million since last June alone, to $52.13 million as I write this. The mayor is seeking $3.75 million to cover the SLUT’s rising appetite. (He calls it a supplemental appropriation, I call it PIMP, or Pork Inviting More Pork.) Yes this is the same mayor who told the Madison Park flood victims hey, don’t you understand? We just don’t have an endless supply of cash laying around to fund expanded storm sewers!

SLUT is here to stay, however, providing the inspiration for endless jokes and a little cowboy ditty. Nice try, but I’ll wait for Jim Page’s take. There’s gotta be a companion song for “Paul Allentown” in this.

* Mitt Romney gave a speech about freeance and religiosity. And he was introduced by a jackass.

* And, speaking of freedom needing religion, how about those moderate Muslims?

* And speaking of Romney, Goddamn are some of his supporters sensitive.

* And speaking of (is there a pattern here? I’ll stop) GOP whining. It’s bad that Democrats are allowed to ask questions of Republicans. And of Democrats.

* Democrats need not jump to defend the CIA when it obstructs justice.

* Political journalism is tough. But at least it’s easy to find the bias when people take short cuts and make up the news.

* Michelle Malkin and Freepers are delightful people.

Locally:

* It’s nice to know what’s a real emergency.

* The complaint against Dino Rossi was dismissed, but to the Republicans who seem to think that makes him clean, you are an idiot.

* Dino Rossi’s idea man is having trouble reading the Constitution.

This is an open thread

Meowdorable!

This is an open thread.

Politicians? Raising money this early? Shocking, I tell you! Simply shocking!

Here we are two years away from the next Seattle city election, and already it appears that Mayor Greg Nickels is raising money and building up his inevitability. Neighbors for Nickels reports a relatively modest $72,493 in its account (as of a Nov. 17 filing with the city). The Mayor Greg Nickels Web site doesn’t play coy, touting, “Re-elect Greg Nickels Seattle Mayor 2009.”

I too was surprised by the “Re-elect Greg Nickels Seattle Mayor 2009” headline. I was also surprised to hear that hookers aren’t in it for the health insurance, or that the sun comes up each morning.

The peculiar new timetable for American politics is that you start raising money for the next election just a few weeks after getting elected. The real campaign takes place right about now in a four year cycle — 18 to 24 months before the actual election. Raise enough money now and line up enough early big names, and by the time a serious opponent gets organized, it’s too late.

There’s nothing peculiar about it. It’s called politics. It’s common for politicians to keep in touch with their supporters through low-dollar fund raisers. Besides, any candidate who is considering running for mayor should decide soon. Last cycle, the media elites whined incessantly that Nickels wasn’t drawing a serious candidate, as if some poor city councilman is obligated to spend a year campaigning only to be creamed in the general election. Nickels’ eventual ’05 opponent, former UW professor Al Runte, was quite comical on the campaign trail. At one of Runte’s many Drinking Liberally visits, I heard him say:

“Hi, I’m Al Runte, and I’m running for Mayor. No really, I’m running for Mayor.”

Media big dogs like Brewster wonder why Nickels is getting an early start to his next campaign. I’m sure that in December of next year, he’ll wonder why no one wants a piece of him. Eventually, somebody is going to connect the dots.

In August of 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 signatories to a full page USA Today Ad which declared: “I affirm the statement on the family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist Convention.” What was in the family statement from the SBC? “A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.”

The ad wasn’t just a blanket, “we support the SBC statement,” but rather highlighted details. The ad Huckabee signed specifically said of the SBC family statement: “You are right because you called wives to graciously submit to their husband’s sacrificial leadership.”

Huh. If my wife had “submit[ted] herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband,” I suppose she never would have divorced me. Now that’s what I call a Defense of Marriage.

I know it’s not particularly sensitive nor PC of me, but I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw this headline and accompanying photo in today’s Seattle P-I. Lighthouse is a great organization and all, but shouldn’t somebody clue in those blind people that they’re working in a manufacturing plant?

God knows the flood victims could use the help, if only to find temporary shelter and give them the breathing space they need to get their lives back on track, but it’s hard to imagine folks who just voted 63.2% in favor of I-960’s government crippling provisions looking kindly on any sort of government handout. After all, these are the kind of upstanding citizens who voted 61.4% in favor of I-912’s fuel tax repeal, 68.7% and 72.9% respectively in favor of I-776 and I-695’s $30 car tab provisions, 73.6% in favor of I-747’s one-percent cap on growth in regular local levies, and a whopping 79.1% against R-51’s transportation improvement package… so it seems unlikely that they would ever accept the food stamps and emergency unemployment compensation the disaster declaration makes available. I mean, this is a county that voted 60.5% in favor of I-933 at the same time the “takings” initiative went down to defeat by a healthy 17-point margin statewide, so one would think that voters so adamantly opposed to government regulations that might, say, prevent a land owner from building a Walmart in a flood plain, would also be adamantly willing to take full personal responsibility for the inevitable consequences of doing so. I’m just sayin’.

(Whenever I hear righties bitch about gov’ment it reminds me of that old Catskill’s joke about the woman, who after complaining about the terrible food at a resort, adds “and such small portions.”)

The rest of the headlines are filled with equally horrid tales of government intrusion. A burning ban is now in effect for King, Pierce and Snohomish counties, and on Hanukkah, no less; advocates want to take away our constitutional right to discriminate against gay people; and in perhaps the ultimate indignancy, the EPA is nosing around in our bathrooms, urging us to switch to a new generation of 1.3 gallons per flush toilets:

All of the WaterSense toilets flush at least 250 grams, or about 10 ounces of matter. In the industry, that’s considered the average weight of adult human solid waste.

Yeah… well… I eat a lot of fiber, so I’m not so sure. Besides, the one thing I’m not flush with right now is money, so unless the EPA or SPU wants to give me the same free toilet they’ve been giving apartment complexes and businesses, I’m sticking with the old guzzler that came with my house.

Damn gov’ment.