In a bizarre and dramatic twist to a bizarre story, David Irons Jr.’s mother, Janet C. Irons, submitted herself to a polygraph test yesterday morning… and passed with flying colors. A four-page report from Evergreen Polygraph, Inc. concludes that Mrs. Irons was “truthful” in her telling of a 1994 incident in which she claims her son knocked her to the ground and tore the phone off the wall to prevent her from calling 911.
Based on the physiological responses produced by the subject on two polygraph charts, in the opinion of this examiner the subject was not attempting deception when she answered “NO” to the following relevant questions.
43. Did you lie to me when you said your son David assaulted you?
44. Did you lie to me about being assaulted by your son in 1994?
45. Did you lie to me when you said you were not having a diabetic reaction when your son assaulted you in 1994?
While it is true that polygraph results are not admissible in court, they are commonly used during both criminal and civil investigations. Even Dori Monson, one of Irons’ most adamant defenders, apparently considers polygraphs to be credible, as just last Friday he repeatedly issued on-air challenges to both Irons and Ron Sims — the two candidates for King County executive — to submit to just such a test. (Dori may be a bit of a blowhard with whom I passionately disagree on most political issues… but he’s a fair blowhard, and thus I fully expect him to report to his audience the very credible results of Mrs. Irons’ own examination.)
It should also be emphasized that while the polygraph test addressed only the one incident in question, Irons’ parents allege that their son has displayed a pattern of dishonesty and abusive rages that should disqualify him from high office, the details of which I have previously outlined. From my conversations with the family I have no more reason to doubt their broader character testimony than I did their description of the 1994 assault.
I spoke with Mrs. Irons briefly yesterday, before she received the polygraph results, and she repeated her challenge to David Jr. that she made last week on the John Carlson Show… that he join her in taking a polygraph test. However she doesn’t expect him to respond: “liars won’t usually take tests unless forced,” she told me. Still, she hopes this will be the last she needs to speak on the issue.
“I’m very tired of Jr. using us for political fodder, and I’ll be thankful when every few years we don’t have to keep talking about having a dishonest and abusive son. Maybe we can get him to quit lying about us, but I wonder what it will take for him to quit lying about his political opponents?”
Hmm. How about getting him out of politics?
UPDATE:
I received an updated polygraph report that correctly numbers the questions, and have uploaded a new PDF that reflects these changes.