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Andy Pettitte: “If what I did was an error in judgment on my part, I apologize.” If lying repeatedly about using performance-enhancing drugs until confronted by irrefutable proof in an official congressional document was a miscall, I am sorry. If continuing to lie — because, hey, other than that one little incident they got bupkus on me — is wrong, then go out and prove it buster. I’m a big league baseball player, not some athletic version of freakin George Washington. I can tell all the lies I want.

Roger Clemens: I am not a juicer. I am a victim of juicing culture. If juicing had not been so easy to do, if juicing were not such a snap to cover up, and if it hadn’t help me extend my career beyond believable limits and pull in the big bucks while non-juicing chumps labored in the minor leagues, I would never have juiced. Not that I’m saying I did juice, mind you, and you can print that last part. Like you did whenever I told you about my superhuman workout regimen and dedication to keeping my incredible body in shape, you bunch of drooling bozos. I can’t help it if you never consulted a single medical expert or physical therapist about the likelihood I was actually telling the truth instead of taking steroids. It’s not my fault you never once even suspected I was on the needle. I mean, give me a break. I can’t help it if I was born white the same as all of you.

Vancouver pig farmer: If skinning my victims alive somehow caused them pain or embarrassment, I deeply apologize. I only did it to get my jollies so I could continue to be a productive upstanding member of Canadian society. I had a farm to run, after all, and if grinding human flesh in with pig meat and selling it to supermarkets was an error in judgment, I am truly sorry. Although I did not believe it to be against the law, since these were despicable whore scum whose mere breathing presence was a blight on Christian beliefs, I felt bad about doing it and stopped right after the last one I killed. Now will you please absolve me of any illegal behavior and let me go scot free like you do all those big-name sports figures?

Apparently, non-union jobs pay less than union jobs. Who knew?

And, when you clear cut a steep mountain slope fronting onto a stream, you dramatically increase the chance of a devastating landslide during heavy rains. Oh. My. God.

Oh, and guns… don’t get shot by one. They can kill you. Same with pit bulls; sometimes they’re mean.

As for hard local news on a Monday morning? Now that would be news.

Tonight on “The David Goldstein Show”, 7PM to 10PM on News/Talk 710-KIRO:

7PM: Radio Kos: Church and/or State?
Rev. Forrest Church is an author and theologian, the son of former Idaho Sen. Frank Church, and the Minister of Public Theology at All Souls Unitarian Church in New York. In her review and interview posted today on Daily Kos, Joan “McJoan” McCarter describes Rev. Church’s latest book, So Help me God: The Founding Fathers and the First Great Battle over Church and State, as “an engaging, beautifully crafted and meticulously researched history of our nation’s first culture war over what role religion was to play in government.” Rev. Church and McJoan join me for the hour.

8PM: Will WA state ferries sink or swim?
An 80-year-old section of our state highway system was essentially allowed to disintegrate, when four steel-electric class ferries were pulled out of service due to serious corrosion. Washington State Transportation Commissioner Bob Distler joins me by phone for an update on the current plans to serve the effected routes, and a discussion what got us to this situation in the first place.

9PM: TBA
Liberal propaganda.

Tune in tonight (or listen to the live stream) and give me a call: 1-877-710-KIRO (5476).

I don’t want to top Goldy’s tasty diatribe below, a must read, so just quickly will point to Danny Westneat’s column about John Fox today in The Times. And don’t forget the Seattle Displacement Coalition’s big fundraiser tomorrow night, 7 p.m. in University Temple United Methodist Church.

You’ve got to give credit to the folks at the Discovery Institute; when they put their “minds” to something, they never seem to let little distractions like public opinion, science or, you know, reality get in their way.

As political momentum grows for a highway-free Seattle shoreline, some would-be visionaries want to help traffic move by digging a deep tunnel from Sodo to north of downtown. […] Costs are unknown, but would be in the billions of dollars. Even if a suitable tunnel path exists, Seattle’s loose, watery soils present a challenge in places, and there’s not much room at the surface for ramp connections at I-5.

That hasn’t stopped the Cascadia Center, a branch of the Discovery Institute think tank, from promoting a tunnel.

No, no… of course it hasn’t, because the folks at the Discovery Institute are a bunch of fanaticist nutcases “visionaries”… you know, if by “visionary” you mean promoting Intelligent Design, seeking to overthrow the scientific method and “replace it with a science consonant with Christian and theistic convictions,” and ignoring both voter sentiment (“No/Hell No” vote on the Viaduct; Prop 1’s crushing defeat) and economic reality in proposing a multi-billion dollar big dig through downtown Seattle.

I mean, Jesus H. Christ… what does it take to tarnish the Discovery Institute’s reputation? Does Bruce Chapman actually have to strip himself naked and go on a shooting rampage through the Tacoma Mall before our local media and political elite finally accept the fact that he might not be the same reasonable city councilman they remember from the 1970’s? Is there nothing he can do or say to destroy his credibility?

I once proposed building a gigantic rollercoaster along the West Seattle to downtown portion of the Monorail’s abandoned Green Line, and you didn’t see my joke of a transportation proposal picked up by the MSM, let alone labeled “visionary”. And yet the Seattle Rollercoaster Project is no less technically challenging nor politically, well, utterly fucking ridiculous than Discovery’s deep bore, crosstown tunnel. Engineering and economic feasibility aside, God himself could descend from the heavens with a blueprint in one hand and an infinite supply of cash in the other, only to be greeted by polar bear clad environmentalists and angry Eastside developers complaining that He isn’t doing enough to ease congestion on I-405. In a city where completion of a 1.3 mile vanity trolley line is feted like some transportation miracle, the very notion that local voters might commit more than a half billion dollars a mile to an untested technology is a dramatic tribute to Discovery’s primary mission of promoting the exercise of faith over reason.

Of course, it’s not merely faith in God that ultimately drives Discovery’s transportation planning, but more specifically faith in the Invisible Hand of God and the inherent efficiency of the free market. No doubt Seattle’s “Big Bore” would be pitched as a public/private partnership… you know, one of those sweetheart deals in which tax dollars are used to subsidize the privatization of a public asset. Sure, taxpayers would probably be better off financing our transportation improvements through payday loans, but then, who the hell am I to question the wisdom and motives of such an upstanding civic leader as Bruce Chapman?

Tonight on “The David Goldstein Show”, 7PM to 10PM on News/Talk 710-KIRO:

7PM: The Stranger Hour with Josh Feit
The Stranger’s Josh Feit and Jonah Spangenthal-Lee join us for a recap of the week’s news, and a look ahead to what’s coming up. Do Seattle police tase first and ask questions later? Are Eastside Republicans a dying dead breed? Will the Legislature once again ignore Josh’s advice? All that and more, plus your calls.

8PM: Did Brian Boshes have a Ha Ha Hanukkah?
Brian Boshes says he grew up in a stable household with parents who still love him, and yet he grew up to be a stand up comic. Go figure. He’s performing in the Ha Ha Hanukkah show at the Mainstage this week (Dec 20-22), and joins us in studio for the hour. We’ll be chatting, and giving away tickets.

9PM: HA rides/derides the SLUT!
HA has always been fair and balanced, as evidenced by bloggers Will and Paul opposite take on the South Lake Union Trolley. Both Will and Paul join me in studio for a no holds barred review/debate of Seattle’s idea of a mass transit system.

Tune in tonight (or listen to the live stream) and give me a call: 1-877-710-KIRO (5476).

This week’s Birds Eye View Contest is still unsolved. This is an open thread…

Yes it’s Saturday morning, and yes, it’s ugly-raining outside, and it’s the season of peace and goodwill and you only have single-digit days left to do your Christmas shopping. You rightfully expect it to be one of the softest news days of the year. But we know all you HA addicts out there cannot help yourselves. On the off-chance one of us tireless scribes has somehow seen fit to post a new set of calumnies, buffoneries and outrages, you just have to click. Doncha…

We will try not to disappoint. There actually is a lot of stuff happening out there, for a Saturday in December. Maybe the ever-cynical powers that be are trying to slip things by us during the holidays, the way the Bushies like to disclose illegal initiatives and unconstitutional policies on Friday afternoons.

The Times trumpets an $8 million proposal by Gov. Gregoire to actually do something about physician/counselor sexual misconduct, a courageous act typical of a politician entering a re-election year. In one of those mercilessly cold-eyed observations that only hardened journalists have the guts to print, the story notes “Gregoire said several of her initiatives are in response to a 2006 Seattle Times investigation, ‘License to Harm,’ which brought the registered-counselor loophole to light.” Yes, let’s close that gaping loophole nearly two years after the fact while patting ourselves on the back without even the meekest challenge over why it took so damn long to do anything. After all, Gregoire’s failure to act last year might well have cost The Times a Pulitzer. We still eagerly await a newspaper investigation that does something to warn and protect readers from society’s ills in time to be meaningful, rather than react with high dudgeon to the damage done. But then, that might mean getting on the guv’s bad side, or the legislature’s, or…remind me, how did that “loophole” get into law in the first place?

Not that the P-I can’t wring hands with the best of them. Its lead story has to do with the mortgage-induced plight of an Iraq war veteran. (As if to provide a helping hand, the paper also offers a companion piece, 7 Tips to Sell Your Home. Tip No. 1: Have the local rag write a Page 1 story about it.) Nothing surprising, but give the P-I credit: Iraq war, mortgage crisis. D’ya think there could be a connection? We are left to connect the dots ourselves, of course, while marveling over riveting prose like: “For a soldier, the mortgage crisis is the same as for civilians, but also quite different.” Wow, who edits this stuff?

Lines like that kept folks like Will Durst from becoming a journalist, more’s the pity. One pimp-slap of Gov. Gregoire and he’d be back at the Eastlake Zoo, scanning the help-wanted ads. Local cynics of the Durst cloth will note the quiet resurrection of the waterfront tunnel boondoggle now that tunnel-basher and surface-option-backer Peter Steinbrueck is leaving the City Council. Yes, the public voted down a tunnel, but wait, that one was different. This one “would not follow the shoreline and would be deeper beneath downtown.” Jan Drago for one is on the case: “We need to make better use of the real estate we have … including our subterranean assets.”

What makes this all ironic as only Seattle’s incestuous little political circle can be is that Drago just last night, at Steinbrueck’s going-away party at City Hall, was singing paens to his “tireless passion” for preserving Seattle’s civic and environmental integrity: “Many times I would go into my office on weekends, and who would already be there but Peter,” she effused. No doubt trying to figure out how to counteract Drago’s latest Big Development rape-n-pillage scheme. Steinbrueck will, however, continue as one of Seattle’s biggest above-ground assets, teaching at the U.W. and writing a column for Crosscut.com, Drago having handed him a great initial topic.

(This and nearly 90 other media clips from the past week in politics can be found at Hominid Views.)

Another victory for Intelligent Design….

They Never Learn Dept.: Last August, our dailies spent two weeks hyperventilating about lane closures resulting in huge I-5 backups that never materialized. No matter. Top headline in the P-I‘s web site (and on tee-vee) today: lane closures coming for two weeks resulting in huge I-405 backups! Even worse: the traffic mess will interfere with your Christmas shopping!! (Seriously. This was the focus of the P-I’s article.) Smelling salts, please: the article made no mention of August’s I-5 experience, in which people changed their travel habits accordingly. But we can’t have a daily paper stuffed full of ads from the malls suggest that you avoid I-405 and patronize your local neighborhood stores instead, now, can we?

Same Theme, Take Two: Three days ago, we were breathlessly told that the Port Townsend-Whidbey Island car ferry run was going to be out of service “for a year or more.” Today, we learn that it’ll be back next month. Moral: Don’t believe the hype.

In another Much Ado About Nothing story, everyone is milking another day of coverage out of the SLUT by reporting — gasp! — that someone left five ball bearings in the tracks Wednesday. (Great. Now every teen delinquent in the region knows a simple way to get yourself on tee-vee and the front page.) The P-I’s story in particular was notable for a closing quote by King County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson John Urquhart:

“We have no idea what their motive was, no idea who put that there and we’re not going to speculate.”

This just after P-I reporter Scott Gutierrez had run a paragraph of exactly that sort of speculation-by-innuendo:

Despite civic leaders hailing the $52 million streetcar line, it has been controversial among area residents. During the opening run, a bicyclist group organized a protest to call attention to the dangers of streetcars for bicyclists.

What, exactly, does that have to do with the ball bearing incident? Shall we spell it out?

And, to round out our local bad media day, a tale of two headlines.

The Seattle Times: “McDermott votes against Christmas resolution to protest Bush veto.”

The P-I: “McDermott: Christmas vote was jab at bill’s GOP sponsor.” Which in turn conflicted with the story’s lede, a third, particularly treacly non-explanation from Mickey D: “Christmas is really about children…A children’s holiday, if you will.”

Barf. On so many levels.

Hard to tell whether it’s sloppy reporting, or Sunny Jim saying stupid things while trying to make a non-story go away. Or both.

Nationally: War on Terror Watch #1: The House yesterday passed a controversial and sadly redundant bill to ban waterboarding and “other harsh interrogation tactics.” Controversial: nearly 200 reps, most Republicans, voted for torture, something unthinkable even ten years ago. Redundant: didn’t we already pass a bill banning torture two years ago? Aren’t we already signatories, quaint or not, to the Geneva Conventions? Naturally, George Bush issued an immediate veto threat against a measure he already basically signed into law in early 2006 (with a signing statement saying, correctly, that he’d ignore the law).

War on Terror Watch #2: Remember the uproar last year when a bunch of jihadist wannabes were arrested in Miami, with the Bush administration, as usual, using the busts to play Fear Factor with the American public? Never mind.

Officials had acknowledged that the defendants, known as the Liberty City Seven for the depressed section of Miami where they frequently gathered in a rundown warehouse, had never acquired weapons or equipment and had posed no immediate threat. But, the officials said, the case underscored a need for pre-emptive terrorism prosecutions.

The prosecution’s case against the seven, accused of, well, let’s call it hazy plotting to blow up Chicago’s Sears Tower and other landmarks, fell apart Thursday. A Miami jury acquitted one defendant and a mistrial was declared in the cases of the other six when the jury deadlocked. Naturally, the feds immediately announced that the remaining six would be retried. And naturally, the outcome of the trial is getting a lot less attention than the original arrests.

Instead, the most talked about news story of the day is a sports non-story, given that we knew the general outline of it two years ago. Former Sen. George Mitchell released his long-awaited report on steroids in baseball yesterday, and it was sweeping, but far from complete, offering 91 names of current or former players alleged (at times on very thin evidence) to have taken illegal performance-enhancing drugs. The Mitchell investigation was essentially a preemptive move by baseball owners to (lightly) investigate themselves, sacrificing the reputations of a relative handful of players so as to hopefully forestall any federal or criminal investigation, which would turn up far more names in what was by most accounts a drug culture pervasive in the sport for over a decade. Roger Clemens (based on one person’s uncorroborated account) was the biggest of yesterday’s sacrificed reputations. Barry Bonds has been a lightning rod for steroids criticism and headlines because he has been black, surly, and very, very good for a long time, and now you can add Clemens, who has been white, surly, and also very, very good for a long time.

Twelve former Seattle Mariners were among the 91 named in the Mitchell report (but, after Jose Guillen was dumped this fall, no current ones). Note that Bret Boone, frequently suspected of steroid use in his Mariner heyday, was not named. (Neither, thank God, was Edgar Martinez or Jay Buhner.) But that itself means nothing. Mitchell had no subpoena power, and only two current players would talk with him. Most of those accused has ties with at least one of two people who did talk, former trainers for the Mets and Yankees. Seattle Times reporter Geoff Baker, in his Mariners blog, had the most succinct take of the day on the report:

Tip of the iceberg stuff. We’ve got all these names pouring out based mainly on the sworn declarations of two people — Radomski and Brian McNamee. Just imagine how many we’d uncover if Mitchell had the power to force everyone to talk to him under oath.

Or imagine if we had a news media that didn’t often spend its time covering trivia and even screwing that up.

I talked with Sen. Brian Weinstein this afternoon and while he gave a lot of reasons for not seeking a second term — tired of “banging my head against the wall” on issues like the Homeowners Bill of rights, disgust at the recent special session, etc — he says his primary motivation is that he simply needs to make money again… a commentary on our “citizen legislature” that I think deserves a more in depth conversation. Far from bitter or defeated, Weinstein seemed genuinely cheerful at the turn of events, and gave credit to Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown for bringing Fred Jarrett into the fold, a goal that had consistently eluded House Speaker Frank Chopp. Weinstein may not have always been the most politic politician, but he was passionately progressive, racking up one of the most liberal voting records in the Senate. He’ll be missed. (At least by me.)

As for Jarrett, well, now that he has torn that scarlet letter from his chest and replaced it with a bright blue “D”, I feel free to divulge a little secret. Back in January of 2006, when it became apparent that no other experienced candidate was willing to get into the congressional race against Dave Reichert, I went to Jarrett and pleaded with him to seek the Democratic nomination. He simply responded that he was “too old,” and that as a state we needed to pursue a “seniority strategy” by electing a younger candidate, preferably mid 30’s, to be in a position to eventually fill Norm Dicks’ role in the delegation.

I liked Darcy Burner, but up until that point I’d always thought of her youth as a liability. Jarrett’s response got me thinking about the many unique advantages Burner would bring to the job, and when, a few weeks later I started to forcefully advocate for her election, I did so with unquestioned enthusiasm. It was an uphill battle for an unknown novice to challenge a sitting incumbent, but I was confident that if she won, Burner would serve her district and the state well.

A while later I approached Jarrett again, this time asking him to publicly endorse Burner, arguing that the support of a respected Republican like him could sway enough votes to swing a close election. I was reminded of that conversation while reading Jarrett’s quote to Postman today:

“I felt there was a strong tradition in the Republican Party that really couldn’t be lost. So what I’ve been doing as long as I’ve been in the Legislature is trying to articulate that moderate Republican, progressive Republican, viewpoint, and what I found is I may have a lot of ego, but I don’t think I have enough ego to think anymore that I can do it.”

That’s kinda what Jarrett told me a year and a half ago, though not exactly in those words. I don’t know if Jarrett ultimately voted for Burner, but I can tell you that endorsing her would have required him to switch parties, and he just wasn’t prepared to go that far at that time. This was his GOP, dammit, and he didn’t want to give it over to those bastards. At least, that was the impression I came away with at the time.

But times change, as do political parties, and I think it fair to say that the GOP left Jarrett long before he left it. Jarrett’s decision was years in the making, as was the political transformation that has been sweeping formerly Republican suburban districts nationwide. As I wrote back in November of 2004, even in the immediate wake of the deeply disappointing 2004 election, the path toward a Democratic majority was clear: subdivide and conquer.

Just like the Democrats lost their base in the South with their support of civil rights legislation in the sixties, the GOP risks alienating their moderate, suburban base by abandoning fiscal conservatism to focus on right-wing social issues at home, and military and economic imperialism abroad. The neo-cons may dominate the national Republican leadership, but they do not represent the majority of suburban voters.

Families move to places like Mercer Island for better public schools, cleaner streets, safer neighborhoods, and all the other public services that a higher property tax base provides. These are people who believe in government because they benefit from it every day, and they routinely tax themselves to pay for the services they want.

These are people with whom urban Democrats have common ground, and we have an opportunity to exploit the wedge the neo-cons have provided, to expand our base politically and geographically. For in addition to a shared belief that good government is necessary to maintaining a high quality of life, suburban and city voters have a mutual interest in maintaining an economically and culturally vibrant urban core.

Welcome home Fred.

Zis is an open thread.