Republican National Committee
310 First Street
Washington, D. C. 20003
When that bunch of old white males at FOX decided to stage teabagging protests they were, no doubt, clueless about the damage they would cause. Let’s get real…the mental image of Rush Limbaugh, trousers around his ankles, with his droopy teabags festooned into a gagging and gently weeping Glenn Beck isn’t anybody’s idea of a recruitment tool. That this image will be scorched upon the minds of hip-Americans, and “refreshed” every April 15th, suggest to me that the entire generation is lost to the G.O.P.
Any hopes you have of winning the hearts and minds of young America no longer lies with hip-hoppers. Instead you need to go after the cutting edge of youth subculture—the Emo kids.
Think about it…their culture of building esteem out of a sense of alienation and ironic self-loathing makes them a perfect ideological fit for today’s Republican Party. It’s a match made in, um…Haydes.
So, here’s the plan. Next April, you call for a nationwide series of “Tax Cutting Parties” to be held all over the land. The concept is, of course, “taxes as another form of self-harm.” The protests will give participants a way to literally feel the pain of taxation as they “draw the line” on the government taking their money. And the next morning the scars of taxation will be upon them and remind them how the Republicans helped them hate themselves for paying taxes. And, privately, they’ll feel a bit of pride in themselves and the G.O.P. for that.
Oh…and you might get Mike Huckabee on board. He has a thing about razor blades, too.