Yee Haw! The first ever “Tea Party Presidential Debate” is starting on CNN, staring Wolf Blitzer!?!
So break out your pitchforks and anti-Obama Nazi-inspired signs and cheer along to the crazy!
5:05 (PDT): I may add some comments as the debate progresses. But, really, is there any point? My hunch is that the sheer crazy will be stand-alone entertaining.
5:11: Did Newt Gingrich REALLY just suggest that the teabagger battle against the government is really like the War on Terror?!? So…Newt believes the U.S. government is like al Qaeda?
5:14: Perry says that nobody has the “courage to fix [Social Security].” I think a former Texas Governor might disagree with that. Of course, Americans rejected that attempt.
5:16: Mitt’s decided he’ll take over asking questions for the debate.
5:18: Ron Paul claims that Social Security IS broke. I guess it depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is.
5:21: Newt Gingrich favors scaring the American people because “Obama frightens them every day.” In other words, “Obama is a scary black man.”
5:23: Rick Santorum, “I came out in 1994….”
PROMOTED COMMENT Via Michael: Huntsman goes for the non-existent righty grunge vote with a Curt Cobain reference! [Darryl: Yeah…that was really awkward.]
5:37: Rick Perry just claimed the stimulus created ZERO jobs!?! That is provably false.
5:39: Bachmann, “I said, ‘Don’t raise the debt ceiling….Don’t give the President a $2.5T blank check.” Somebody should point out to Michele that there was no blank check…the $2.5T was already spent.
5:41: Mittster recycles his pay-phone/cell phone quarter-jamming line.
5:43: Mitt sure knows a lot about Texas Economics. Mitt on Perry’s job growth record, “If your dealt 4 aces, it doesn’t necessary make you a great poker player.” Yeah…like Mitt hasn’t been dealt 4 aces in his life….
5:45: Perry wants to kick all the trial lawyers out. He might need to pass a constitutional amendment first….
5:46: Perry has a strong record of cutting taxes in Texas. Sure…and then filling in the missing revenue from Obama’s stimulus funds.
5:54: Wolf Blitzer misquotes Perry. Perry did not suggest Bernanke be “tried for treason” he suggested that “printing more money” would be treasonous. Sheesh!
6:03: Mitt briefly turned liberal, as he criticizes the “fair tax” for being too regressive.
6:06: Man…Bachmann sure goes off the deep end on HPV vaccine discussion.
6:09: Rick Perry is insulted by the suggestion he can be bribed for $5000. Right…it takes a hell of a lot more money than that!
6:18: Ron Paul: The churches will pay for the heath care costs of the uninsured!
6:28: Santorum and Newt are having a love fest between them this debate.
6:30: Wow…Perry may have just lost the entire bunch of teabaggers with his affirmation in support for out-of-state tuition for undocumented residents.
6:32: Huntsman says Perry’s statement on securing the border is treasonous. What the fuck debate is he listening to? I’m not judging the merits of Perry’s statement, but it sure the hell didn’t approach treason!
6:34: Huntsman is babbling nearly as badly as Bachmann tonight. Is he fucking stoned?!?
6:43: Huntsman: More American “shine” will liberate the oppressed women of Afghanistan.
6:49: The “what would you bring to the White House” question was a complete waste of time. Wait…the whole debate doesn’t really qualify as a great use of time. About as “valuable” as watching a typical sitcom.
I used to think that Huntsman was the least crazy of the bunch. Now I think he has a drug problem.
Perry worked very hard to come off as a moderate. I guess his days as a shit-kickin’ Texan are over. Huh…that strategy seems vaguely familiar….
Mitt began the debate all worked up and then quickly faded to just another right-wing talking point machine.
Michele…Oh, those eyes and their crazy hypnotic spinning!
Newt still demands he be called, “Mr. Speaker.”
Herman Cain…slogan city. And he closes the debate by, essentially, saying that Americans are lacking in humor.
Paul…the same unelectable, semi-babbling person who isn’t afraid to call it like he sees it.