Yeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaawwwwww! It’s Crazy Train time. We have ourselves another episode of Candidate Roller Derby tonight in Iowa.
Yesterday everyone said The Newt was leading. Today Romney has a slight lead—they are tied statistically at Romney 23%, Gingrich 20%.
And how ’bout that Ron Paul at 18%!?! Most of the other nutberger candidates have had their fling with the pole position…Ron Paul should get his shot, too. And to top the whole thing off like a layer of creamy chocolate frosting, we should get Rick Santorum next week.
Unless The Donald comes back from the dead to do a 27 December debate, this one is the last of the year, and the last before the Iowa caucus. It’s gong to be fun.
I’ll leave some updates if anything fun happens.
The debate is sponsored by FAUX news, so you can be sure this will be the bestest, craziest debate ever…in the history of debates. You can find a link to the stream at FAUX News.
6:04: I’ve saved a bag of Cheetos for this debate. Mmmm, Cheetos. Before the debate is through, my fingers will resemble John Boehner’s.
6:05: The Newt argues his electability by giving the audience a history lesson.
6:07: Megyn Kelly tries suckering Ron Paul into making a commitment to support the ultimate Republican nominee. Will he fall for it? No! And he gets a pass!
6:09: Rick Santorum takes the first shot at Newt’s “personal issues”.
6:12: Come on, Michele…just say it. “I will win the independents by hypnotizing them.”
6:13: Rick Perry is asked about his debating skills and launches into a “things I did while not debating” speech.
6:14: Jon Huntsman, “we’re getting screwed as Americans!” Umm…Santorum? Any comment?
6:16: Note to Rick Perry: The Supercommittee was created by and for Congress, not Obama.
6:18: Mitt just admitted that “there are Democrats who love America.” He’s toast now.
6:19: “Leadership is important,” says Newt, the ousted former House leader.
6:21: The moderators are taking questions by Twitter. Fine print: No more than 140 characters and minimize polysyllabic words.
6:25: The intermission pundits are bored by the civility. They want some blood! Yeah…me, too.
6:27: Mitt defends his business failures by saying Obama doesn’t realize that not every business succeeds. I take it Mitt is okay with the Solyndrra thing then.
6:29: Newt worked with Habitat for Humanity. No doubt served as their official Speaker of the House.
6:31: Paul corners Newt who is forced to admit that there are many government-sponsored organizations that do good! Heresy!
6:33: Bachmann goes into histrionics over Newt’s Fannie/Freddy contracts. Newt says Bachmann doesn’t have her fact right. Bachmann goes to Politifact for fact checking! Remarkable.
6:36: My video feed locked up with the following image stuck on my screen. I think this is worthy of a Caption Contest. Leave ’em in the comment thread.
6:45: Okay…missed some stuff trying to get the video feed back and waiting through the fucking ads. We’re back now.
6:46: Did Rick Santorum just say he will repeal every single EPA regulation?!?
6:47: Mitt Romney Flip Flops! He criticizes Obama over Solyndrra, just 20 minutes after pointing out that some of his businesses failed, and that was okay.
6:48: “The courts have become grotesquely dictatorial.” and “Misreading the American people.” I thought they were supposed to read the Constitution rather than the people.
6:51: Bachmann: “We are now at the point that we think the final arbiter of the law is the courts.”
6:53: Even Ron Paul isn’t crazy enough to do a witch-hunt on the courts (subpoena judges, eliminate courts).
6:54: Mitt: “The only people that have less credibility than Judges is Congress.”
6:56: Santorum’s certifies his extremism by picking Thomas as his single favorite Justice.
7:05: Ron Paul suggests using diplomats a little more, bombs a little less. Totally sensible.
7:07: Santorum suggests that Iranian’s “principle ideology”, “mission” is martyrdom. What a fucking ignorant bigot.
7:09: Michele says Ron Paul has given the most dangerous answer she has ever heard.
7:15: Ron Paul schools some naive warmongers!
7:17: Newt suggests the UN is a terrorist training organization.
7:19: Rick Perry has the most muddled comment ever…something about “the most muddled foreign policy ever.”
7:22: Newt gets in a super anti-Obama speech. He has some factual errors in the answer, but maybe this is what we need for him to take the primary. GO NEWT!
7:26: I am totally lost by Neil Cavuto’s rambling question to Rick Perry. Rick Perry spews an incoherent, rambling answer back. Nice play, Mr. Perry!
7:40: Wallace ask Mitt if he is a flip-flopper.
7:41: Mitt admits he flip-flopped on gay rights and choice. Ohhh…and maybe guns.
7:43: Santorum: “Mitt Romney, personally, as Governor, issued gay marriage licenses!!!” You could just hear Santorum’s anal sphincter clamping shut as he said that.
7:47: Bachmann: “Newt offered to campaign for Republicans who support…partial birth abortion!”
7:49: Michele Bachmann doesn’t have her facts right. And she misspells her first name.
7:50: The Occupy FAUX movement has arrived!
7:51: Rick Perry corrected a fact of a moderator!
7:54: Ron Paul twists his face into a little pretzel and says, “I don’t like the demagoguery…the distortions.”
7:55: That’s it!
Ron Paul! Yaaaaay!
Illuminati, Trilateral Commission, Gold!
Yeah, I’m rooting for Paul to win in Iowa, if only for all the talking heads it will cause to explode.
Well these robots are pretty much sticking to their 30 second allotments..
Interesting.. eh.. not so much..
Romney is a total bore..
Saul Alinsky radical???
Gingrich is a jerk..
hope and chaynge! LMFAO…..
I miss read that and thought Megyn Kelly was trying to suck Ron Paul. I was all “Man, Fox News will do anything for ratings.”
@4
And yet, you have no one that can beat the man.
@6
“I” dont think anyone, R or D, is worthy of the white house…
….and hows Mr Hopey McChangey been? fail.
Ron Paul would be president Spicoli.
Texas State Budget 1998 $51B
Texas State Budget 2009 $110.7B
And Perry’s gonna cut spending?
I am standing next to Dino Rossi posting this. There is only one three time loser in the room. Just thought you should know.
@9
just goes to show that govt, whether run by D or R, is just a greedy, power hungry entity.
Someone posted a list of state’s budgets from 1998 to 2009…and they all DOUBLED! Tell me, what state doubled its population during that time period? NONE.
fucking crooks…all of them.
That was me.
@10
He’s wealthy, and you bring home $50k a year.
you sure you wanna ask that question?
Newt really shouldn’t call people power hungry and arrogant.
@12
thats what I thought….ty
Now Darryl, C’mon. Putting “creamy chocolate frosting” and “Santorum” in the same sentence is just gauche.
And gimmegimmgimme? The budget doubled, because the population doubled. The prison population has tripled. The need for Police officers, mandated at the FEDERAL LEVEL, has gone up by four or more times. The massive road projects, the Tacoma narrows Bridge, that massive repaving project on I-5 just south of Seattle 8 years ago, the new I-90 bridge, the tunnel for Aurora Avenue under Seattle, all that costs a shitload of money. You stupid Teabagger fucks won’t even acknowledge them.
This is why you will never be taken seriously by sentient beings. You’re just Stupid.
Deathfrogg @ 16,
‘Now Darryl, C’mon. Putting “creamy chocolate frosting” and “Santorum” in the same sentence is just gauche.’
I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!
@16
I don’t know the specific drivers, but I’m betting an aging population and increased medicare pass though money would be a big part of it.
Middle East experts think Iran will have the bomb in less than a year??? Really???
Paul smacks them down! The greatest danger is us over reacting.
Yeah, but the premise is nonsense, Cavuto.
Neil Cavuto: I’ll trying being a lying douche bag one more time…
@16
youre a fucking fool….maybe someday when you grow up and start paying taxes, you will figure it out.
you and your nanny state can go screw each other.
Ricky want’s war! The crowd goes wild!
Romney’s a fucking nut case. Where’s he going to get the money to pay for all the crap he wants?
Good lord, the Iraq war just ended and they’re already beating the war drum for a war in the middle east.
Ron Paul “How are you going to rebuild the military when we have no money.”
Huntsman once again proves that he’s the only grown up in the room.
Dear Newt, it was farmers in NE not radicals in CA that shut down the Keystone Pipeline.
Noodles I’m glad I don’t have cable TV. I get two channels. One plays “Gunsmoke” and the other plays old MTV music videos. Thats the channel I have on whilst I strain my brain on math.
Newt!
I heard that Venezuela is only a two day’s drive from the Texas border.
Santorum: That’s frothy chocolate frosting. Ew.
Gingrich caption: “If elected my head will be this big.”
WTF, is Ricky talking about?
@13
Making several assumptions there…
See #26.
Short and sweet neo-con tool Charles Krauthammer:
Romney “neutral,” Gingrich “up and down,” Bachmann “strong,” Paul “wacky.”
Last time I looked Ron Paul was the only candidate with the balls to say we need to stop these wars, including the drug war. No Democrat or Repugnican has had the gumption to say anything like that. So I guess that makes him nuts.
Bomb, Bomb, Bomb
Bomb, Bomb Iran…….
Wasn’t that McCain’s tune for victory?
Great minds think alike. See #30.
@36
Huntsman’s making a more nuanced statement about ending wars. It’s not get out and stay out but it’s close. I haven’t caught anything he’s said about the drug war.
I see that Barry Bonds is due to be sentenced soon. My thought is that all the players who broke Roger Maris’ home run record while on steroids get an asterisk and that Roger be declared single season home run king again. Everybody gets an asterisk except Roger. heh. I don’t expect everyone to get it.
Screw the debate! It’s time for the nightly vocabulary quiz! I’ve already posted my score. (“RR”)
http://www.merriam-webster.com/quiz/index.htm
“Jon Huntsman, ‘we’re getting screwed as Americans!'”
Yeah, Huntsman is just another dirty lazy fucking hippie Occupier who was denied his fair shot at the American Dream, isn’t he?
Occupy for President!
Caption contest: “The Lord said, ‘Let there be Newt!’ and lo! there was Newt.”
I should win the caption contest for that one.
Christopher Hitchens, pundit and author of “”God Is Not Great” and other books, has died of cancer at age 62.
@9 And let’s not forget all those jobs Perry created were government jobs.
@13 Yeah, and he got wealthy by working for a crook who went to prison for defrauding widows and orphans. Some money is better than other money.
@21 Of all the stupid things you believe, your inane belief that we don’t pay taxes is the stupidest thing of all.
In this state, the less money you make, the more state taxes you pay, proportionately. Bet you didn’t know that, huh?
@30 I’ll bet Chavez’s tanks could get there in 36 hours.
Shit, “Red Dawn In Texas,” the sequel.
Unlike the original movie, we don’t win that one. Chavez captures the Texas oilfields and suddenly gasoline in Chicago spikes to $50 a gallon.
Chavez is the real guy behind the Keystone pipeline. He wants to sell Texas crude to Canadians. All he has to do is capture Texas, then turn the pumps around to face in the other direction.
America’s Toughest Sheriff (TM) is crying like a kid who just got a spanking.
http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_n.....department
@40
Steve, I totally agree.
As a diehard baseball fan and former player, I think the juiced up assholes are a disgrace.
@ 21
youre a fucking fool….maybe someday when you grow up and start paying taxes, you will figure it out.
you and your nanny state can go screw each other.
This is just too precious. Here we are in an open thread regarding a debate between Republican candidates for President, and the most compelling statement that our one right-wing troll can muster in favor of any one of these candidates is a juvenile hissy fit over a straw man. Wow. That’ll convince someone to go vote for a Republican.
And, squirt, I suggest you think twice before you decide to compare the sizes of our respective economic dicks. Odds are that I’ve paid more in taxes over the past 10 years than you’ve grossed.
All Newt needs is a klaxon horn, some size 15 floppies, and a seltzer bottle — and he’ll be ready to roll.
Nationalize oil. The first thing people were saying about Iraq is : “The oil belongs to the people.”
Why not here?
DOJ Warns Seattle Police To Halt Brutality
From the Seattle Times:
“A federal civil-rights investigation into the Seattle Police Department has found routine and widespread use of excessive force by officers, and city and police officials were told at a stormy Thursday night meeting that they must fix the problems or face a federal
lawsuit ….
“The … city … [must] work with the Justice Department to address the issues, or … will face a federal lawsuit that could result in … the appointment of an outside special master to oversee the Police Department. …
“The investigation focused on the use of force and allegations of biased policing against minorities.”
http://seattletimes.nwsource.c.....oj16m.html
Roger Rabbit Commentary: Excessive force is something you use in a bar fight you didn’t start when some drunk is kicking your ass. Then you go hire a good lawyer.
Mrs. Rabbit described to me a couple of alleged incidents involving SPD officers she knows about. One involved cops alleged using pliers to rip a nose ring from the face of an arrested demonstrator. The other involved cops allegedly forcing open a demonstrator’s mouth and shooting pepper spray into her lungs; within seconds, the girl allegedly was spitting up blood.
This last alleged case, if true, should have resulted in a million-dollar lawsuit against the city. It also should have resulted in felony convictions and prison sentences for the perpetrators.
It appears SPD has, over the years, allegedly developed a culture of brutality made possible by the police union putting up a firewall that effectively blocks internal or outside investigations of officers accused of behaving like Nazi pigs, which apparently is what some of them allegedly are.
Of course, I don’t have personal knowledge of any of this. I just report what I read in the newspapers and hear through the rabbit grapevine. But we rabbits are close to the ground, looking up, so we tend to see better than you humans what’s between people’s legs.
It’s not exactly a gold star for Seattle’s reputation as a city that DOJ’s top civil rights lawyer flew straight from Joe Arpaio’s shop to the Seattle Police Department to deal with issues of police brutality and cop racism. Somebody ought to get fired over this. Not necessarily the chief; maybe police management can’t control the alleged culture of brutality that has allegedly infested the ranks. If this stuff is true, maybe some of the line officrs and their immediate supervisors need a serious woodshedding.
LMAO! In professional baseball leagues dominated by latinos and other people of color, it’s sure hard to be a racist…
“Former” indeed..
So this is how the single-season home run record stands,
Roger Maris 61 1961
Babe Ruth* 60 1927
*154 game season**
** heh. An asterisk not so much for the Babe, but for asswipe Ford Frick and the fans who hated Roger.
@60
Ya, sucky me..only a short stint in single A ball.
Besides getting beat up by your pops and stealing cars, what did you do?
Jealousy, its what for dinner at the cheap castillians house…nightly.
Run along now you fat fuck, before my boot finds your eye.