I cannot explain why I was drawn to the teaser headline “Vampires make ground in La Push” from MyNorthwest via their Twitter feed. I expected news about a gathering of Twilight fans or something.

When I clicked on the link, this is what I saw:


The only article that mentions La Push is “Quileute tribe asks Congress for help to move out of tsunami danger:”

LA PUSH, Wash. — A Washington state tribe says its answer to the danger of a tsunami is moving its village to higher ground.

Now, the Quileute Tribe is asking for Congressional help with the move.

When members of the Quileute tribe saw a tsunami destroy Japanese cities, their first reaction was horror. The second: that could be us.

Oh? “Sucking off the government teat” to relocate their village to higher ground…is that what they were getting at by “vampires”?!?

Naaa…I refuse to believe that Bonneville Seattle (97.3 KIRO, 710 ESPN, 770 KTTH) has gone full-out, hard-boiled Teabagger on us.

I’m sure it’s an innocent mistake.


  1. 1

    Lauramae spews:

    That is very strange. It seems oddly couched to be the usual anti-Indian rage screeds we see in the area.

  2. 2

    Steve spews:

    Is the teat suckin’ Quileute Tribe itchin’ for a squirmish* with the wingnuts?

    Palin cracks me up.

  3. 3


    It’s possible that it’s a labored reference to the horror movie “30 Days of Night”, in which vampires take over an Alaskan town when most of the human inhabitants leave for the winter.

  4. 4

    Xar spews:

    Isn’t that the tribe that opposes the Twilight vampires? So a tortuous inside joke for twelve-year-old girls with creepy fetishes?

  5. 5

    Mark Centz spews:

    Where did the quote about the sucking teat come from? It’s not currently on any of the links I saw, am I missing it?

  6. 6

    Michael spews:



    Last night on Fox News, Greta van Susteren hosted former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) to discuss what Palin termed the “squirmish” in Libya. True to form, the former governor was reckless with basic facts and casually septupled the cost of U.S. intervention. According to figures released by the Pentagon, the intervention cost $600 million in the first seven days. Palin, however, claimed that the no-fly zone — which, for the record, she called for — cost that amount daily:

    PALIN: Yes, that’s — that’s a good question. And that’s the $600 million dollar-a-day question that is being asked now because that’s the cost incurred by Americans as we support the no-fly zone, which, of course, the no-fly zone, the intervention or enactment is turning into more than that.

  7. 7

    TT spews:

    From Wikipedia: The [Quileute] tribe features prominently in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series. In the books, some members of the Quileute tribe are capable of shapeshifting into wolves, becoming spirit wolves, which are similar to werewolves but quite different, in mythology and origin. They are enemies of vampires. Chief among Twilight’s many Quileute characters are main character Jacob Black, his father Billy, and members of Jacob’s werewolf pack.

    The name of the Quilleute people and a heavily altered version of their mythology has been adapted for use in the Twilight series.

  8. 8

    NPR keeps getting PWN3D spews:

    Perhaps someone needs to inform the Quilleutes that the state is f-ing broke, and doesnt have the money to hand out.

  9. 10



    Perhaps someone needs to inform the Quilleutes that the state is f-ing broke

    No, the state is not “broke.” That wingnut-o-babble you spew.

    Oh…and the Quilleutes did’t ask the state for money you idiot!

  10. 11

    Michael spews:

    Well, it looks like our favorite governor has lost again. This is getting highly entertaining.

    Dane County Circuit Court Judge Maryann Sumi, who issued an injunction two weeks ago blocking the law’s implementation, issued an amended order on Tuesday barring Secretary of State Doug La Follette from doing anything that would result in the measure, known as Wisconsin Act 10, from taking effect.

  11. 12

    rhp6033 spews:

    # 11: What judge Summi SHOULD have done is issued an order to show cause, within three days hence, why governor and the publisher of the order should not be held in contempt of court, the publisher for violating the injunction against the publication of the order, and the governor for his stated intentions to violate the clear intent of the order.

    Both should bring with them copies of all the e-mails, letters, faxes, memoranda, phone logs, etc. which relate to the publication of the order, and be prepared to testify under oath concerning them.

    Before the testimony, and before handing the documents over, the judge should warn both of them that any false statements made under oath would be subject to charges of perjury and a summary judgement by the court for civil contempt.

    Then the first time the governor lies, throw his rear end in the courthouse jail for 364 days. And he can instruct his baliff to make sure that he has an inmate from the “general population” as a roomate. With a little luck, the governor might receive the same treatment in jail that he planned to give to the workers of Wisconsin.

  12. 13

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    @12, rhp: YES! Especially the jail house treatment part. If more of these assholes actually went to jail, it’d be better for everyone.

    O et al missed a real opportunity to gut the right for generations re the Bushies and their crimes, economic and otherwise. Looking forward means the past sneaks up on you and kicks you in the ass because you didn’t bury it. They just got bolder.

  13. 14

    Pete spews:

    @8 Perhaps somebody needs to inform you that reservation land is administered by the federal government, not the states.

    As for the KIRO headline, I doubt it was inspired by any kind of Teabagger or anti-government meme; it was somebody trying to tie in a cute pop culture reference. In the process, they managed not only to get the Twilight mythology wrong, but to be deeply insulting to the Quilleutes, who have a long and rich history and identity that has nothing to do with their tribe’s name being appropriated by a white woman to sell books. Not to mention that they probably find the association offensive on aesthetic grounds – the books (and movies), along with everything else, are truly dreadful.

    La Push in recent years has been overrun by Twilight fans. It used to be a really nice little seaside town at the end of a long, little-used road. Now it’s largely turned into a theme park in which business interests (many non-native-owned) try to extract as much money as possible from the beleaguered families of teenage girls. It’s sad, really. But it’s still a beautiful place – and I can definitely see how the townsite is vulnerable to a tsunami. That part is no joke. So are towns like Ocean Shores and Long Beach (which are much farther away from high ground than La Push), but La Push, being on tribal land, has the additional advantage of being able to go after federal funds.

  14. 15

    King Max the First spews:


    The Queen and her court have got an projected $8 billion dollar shortfall that says you might be full of shit.

  15. 16

    Lauramae spews:

    @14, good post.

    The tribe has tried to steer some of the Twilight fever there way. After all, why should the non-Natives get all the dough? But yeah, the books and the movies are crap.

    @8, @15; The Quileute tribe answers to the feds, not the state.

  16. 17



    “The Queen and her court have got an projected $8 billion dollar shortfall that says you might be full of shit.”

    Utter bullshit. A projected revenue shortfall is not equivalent to “being broke.” Truly being “broke” means that debt >= (income + assets).

    Quit listening to Wingding radio and Nutcase TV. It makes you really, really stupid.

  17. 19

    Pete spews:

    @16. Thanks.

    Yes, the tribe has encouraged the tourism, for exactly the reason you state; can you blame them? It strikes me as similar to rez businesses selling tax-free cigarettes. If the white man wants to turn what natives introduced to us as a sacred ceremonial plant into an addictive billion-dollar industry that kills millions (mostly non-native), the logic goes, at least they might as well get a cut.

    Not comparing the toxicity and addictiveness of Twilight to nicotine….But it’s tempting.

  18. 20


    PWN3D @ 18,

    “Keep your head buried in the sand darryl….”

    …says the Chicken Little telling about the State being “broke.”


    Can we get some better informed trolls? Pretty please?

  19. 21

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    Not comparing the toxicity and addictiveness of Twilight to nicotine….But it’s tempting.