That’s right. It is another Republican debate.
They say, debate is what catches de-fish, and what a stinkin’ mess we have here.
So go grab some tartar sauce if you prefer, or a bag of Cheetos and play along.
The live stream can be found on CNN or here.
5:15: The topic has been on illegal immigration. Romney parses classes of illegals and who he is concerned about and who not.
5:16: Newt says he doesn’t want to grab a grandmother in a church. He goes for young women now. (Older women while in high school).
5:17: Mitt yells at Romney about calling him “anti-immigrant”. Apparent “anti-immigrant” is a “highly charge epithet”. I can think of worse.
5:21: The debate has turned in to a bickering match between Mitt and Newt.
5:24: Paul is pro-Cuba. Santorum is TOTALLY OUTRAGED by Obama’s policy in Central and South America. Nothing he says connects with anyone.
5:25: Santorum again sounds the alarm bells about Iran and al Qaeda in Cuba.
5:29: Mitt was saying something about unemployment and housing, but I was fading out….
5:31: It back to Mitt and Newt are airing dirty laundry. It is very personal and awkward!
5:33: Newt seems to be losing this Fannie-Freddie argument, but it is hard to tell. Ron Paul: the topic doesn’t interest me at all.
5:36: Santorum wants to shrink Fannie and Freddie until it can be drowned in a bathtub.
5:37: Santorum: “If these guys (Mitt, Newt) don’t quit bickering, I’m going to sent them to their rooms without dinner.”
5:42: Mitt: “Having a Swiss Bank account is no big deal.”
5:43: Newt offers a truce. I think Mitt said, “maybe.”
5:47: Ron Paul comes out as an Occupy Movement supporter!
5:49: Newt gives Ron Paul a big sloppy kiss over his health. Angling for his supporters?
5:56: The discussion is lunar. Newt dreams about the moon. Mitt says, “you’re fired!”
5:58: Mitt launches a very powerful attack against Newt, saying he has been going state to state promising grandiose local government handouts. He’s right! That one will hurt Newt.
5:59: Santorum is on fire tonight. Man…does that stink!
6:02: Paul gets into babbling mode over health care costs. Wow…that was bad.
6:04: Newt: “We need to get back to the point where she is not dependent on Barack Obama for insurance.” In other words, throw ’em out on the street uninsured.
6:08: Newt: “Particularly for wealthy people who are free-riding on local hospitals.” Do go on….
6:10: Romney: “Obamacare TAKES OVER 100% of the health care in the U.S.” Santorum: “So does the MA plan!” Ron Paul: “Let people decide.” That a simpleton’s answer…
6:15: I wish the Hispanic woman had asked her question in Spanish…just to make Newt’s ears smoke.
6:16: Nobody mentions Alberto Gonzales.
6:18: CNN continues the fluff, “Coming up…why would your wife make the best first lady.” I want to hear Newt: “Which one?” Ron Paul: “I think Rick Santorum’s wife would be the best first lady.” Santorum: “My wife did not live in sin with an abortion doctor!!!!” Mitt: “Mine is certainly the richest…can’t beat that.”
6:24: Newt: “All three of the wives of these gentleman would make terrific first ladies” or future wives for me!
6:26: Santorum gets way carried away talking about his wife. Wolf, “um…let’s get back to the debate now.” Don’t ask to non-debate bullshit questions, Wolf! That’ll solve the problem.
6:28: My laptop is running on fumes! It’s been a busy day for this little guy.
6:29: It’s the Reagan cuddle session part of the debate. Newt: I am vastly more cuddly with Reagan then my opponents.
6:31: Santorum on Cuba: “despots and their reign of terror in Cuba…like a cancer that keeps growing. Reward those who bring in Jihadists, and setting up terror camps…” What the fuck has he been snorting tonight?
6:34: Ron Paul…”They’re not going to invade us. People don’t see a Jihadist under the bed.”
6:36: Fidel is going to “leave this planet”…not “meet his maker,” this debate.
6:37: Mitt tells the Palestinian–American Republican: “Palestinians don’t believe in the right of Israel to exist.” I think Obama just won a vote in Florida.
6:39: Newt: “Technically, there was an invention of the Palestinian people in the 1970s”
6:41: Puerto Rican woman speaks Spanish to the candidates!! Then asks about statehood for Puerto Rico. Santorum dodges the question…twice.
6:45: Mitt: The constitution describes the relationship between God and man. Oh??
6:46: Newt: “I’d ask God on the tough questions…and offer him my help if he has any tough decisions”
6:48: Santorum has some pretty fucked up ideas about where rights come from–from God Apparently, Americans are the ONLY people whose rights are endowed by God. He is one fucked up puppy!
6:57: How long will this drivel go on for? My laptop is sputtering on an empty battery.
Gosh…I cannot say who won. Newt and Mitt were bludgeoning each other so much—it just didn’t look good. I don’t see either of them coming out ahead from this. But Santorum was smokin’ (Perhaps not enough lube?) tonight. It won’t do him much good in Florida, where he trails badly. Besides, as Mitt alluded to, when Santorum is smokin’, he comes off a very angry and preachy. Not good. Santorum is eerily vexed about Jihad training camps in Cuba.
Ron Paul was…just like Ron Paul.