HorsesAss turns seven

HorsesAss is no longer a toddler…at seven, it has entered its childhood years.

It all started on May 10th, 2004, with a post titled Comedy is easy, politics is hard. (This is one of the rare instances where Goldy ended his title with a full stop.)

Last year, a reporter asked me why I thought so many people were willing to donate time and money to what was obviously a joke initiative. I glibly replied that politics was boring, and that my “horse’s ass” initiative gave people the opportunity to get involved, while having a little fun at the same time.

Washington state politics is particularly boring — oh not just because it’s full of numbers and legalese and the usual wonkish stuff like that — but because we happen to be blessed with some of the most boring politicians in the nation. There’s a reason a lying, thieving, blowhard like Tim Eyman commands so much media attention: he’s an interesting lying, thieving, blowhard.

Goldy goes on to explain how the relaunch of as a blog was to create a playground for the puckish Goldy, rather than the serious (and somewhat boring) David:

Now I know some might find this split between the politically prankish Goldy and the politically earnest David a little arbitrary… or even weird. So to those upstanding members of the political and media establishment who insist I cannot possibly expect to maintain my credibility as an activist while producing an irreverent and outrageous blog, the Goldy half of me respectfully says: “fuck you.”

Of course, the David half of me effusively apologizes for what the Goldy half just said. There’s absolutely no excuse for that kind of language, and given the opportunity David might attempt to explain to this “haughty, humorless prick” (my words, not his) that he should excuse Goldy as a sort of stage persona, somewhat like Tim Eyman, who publicly portrays himself as a lying, thieving, blowhard, but who in the comfort of his own home, rarely steals anything. David might also privately intimate that Goldy has the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old, and amuses nobody but himself. Or perhaps that he’s insane.

(Or maybe just a tad bit schizophrenic?)

Ahhh…yes. Goldy’s first post and a fuckiferous one at that.

HorsesAss has definitely left its mark on politics, beginning with Goldy’s level-headed and prescient analysis of the Gubernatorial election contest, his investigative post on David Irons’ hands, the post about FEMA cronyism
that exposed the incompetence of the Bush administration and their response to Katrina, the sad story of former Commissioner of Public Lands Doug Sutherland’s well documented sexual harassment of a young DNR employee, and so much more.

Goldy now writes for The Stranger, which is good for Goldy, but maybe not so good for HorsesAss. Speaking for myself…politics and comedy can be damn hard! I know, I know…it shows.

These seven years have produced 9,270 posts, or an average yield of 3.6 posts per day. That’s a lot of bloviating and muckraking!

A defining characteristic of HA has been its comment threads. Early on, HA became a troll magnet, sucking up all of the natsy, stupid, lameass, or just downright crazy wingnut kookballs from the rest of the regional blogosphere (and beyond). Comment threads on other blogs around here were relatively clean as the nutcases got their excretory relief by repeatedly shitting in the HA comment threads.

To date there are about 479,200 comments, averaging a remarkable 52 comments per post. Clearly, the comment threads have served as a creative or emotional outlet for a great number of people beyond the trolls. As a writer, I do draw inspiration from the comment thread participants. Your thoughtful comments have enlightened me and helped me understand issues better. Though I am reluctant to admit it, I sometimes write for the trolls—usually to induce apoplexy cum froth. And my efforts are frequently rewarded with the intended reaction. So thank you readers, comment thread participants and even you asshole trolls!

The seventh Blogoversary of HorsesAss is a celebration for us all!


  1. 1

    Mark Centz spews:

    Fuck, seven fucking years already? Fuck yeah. Happy fucking birthday, and that includes the goddamn fucking trolls. But not that prick Eyeman, he can go fuck himself.

    Whew! Perhaps even more fuck isn’t the best policy afterall.

  2. 2

    YellowPup spews:

    Happy 7th to HA. If it can keep the trolls off the streets and divert their energies from their innocent victims, so much the better.

    Thanks to all for keeping it lively here.

    BTW, on boringness, have been hearing the speculation about a future redistricted out Dennis Kucinich moving to WA:

  3. 3

    rhp6033 spews:

    Not that I have anything against Kucinich, but I’m not sure he could avoid the “carpetbagger” label if he moves out here merely to run for a house seat. His opponants can simply point out that he knows little about local problems and concerns. It’s one thing to move from one district to another within a state, but it’s another thing entirely to move halfway across the country just to run for office in another state.

    Oh, and Happy Birthday, HA. I first got immersed here after I heard Brownie complaining that he didn’t do anything wrong, and how he was maligned by this “horses ass” website in Seattle. After that, I HAD to go check it out.

  4. 4

    YellowPup spews:

    @3: Agreed on carpetbagging, but then there are more carpetbaggers west of the Cascades than not. I’m not sure where the new district is supposed to be. It sounds more like idle DC watcher speculation than a trial balloon.

    When I discovered HA, I was as impressed by the incisive analysis as I was shocked by the blog name. By then I had forgotten about the horse’s Eyman initiative.

  5. 5

    Steve spews:

    I recall Goldy calling some pol a “pigfucker”. So I thought this blog would be the perfect forum to warn the public about Republicans and their thing for fucking farm animals, watermelons, dogs, washing machines and children.

    One can call those the good ol’ days, seeing as how since then Republicans have become even more batshit insane.

  6. 7

    Cui Bono spews:

    I did start reading HA because of Goldy, it was one of the first blogs I found when I moved here but it’s still on my list of everyday reads. I’ve come to not minding the trolls, per se, because the obvious paid/organized trolls who do nothing but spray feces in our faces and call it an informed opinion are everywhere now.

  7. 8

    manoftruth spews:

    so many fucking curses. i was thinking…..seth rogen seth greene, adam sandler, ben stiller, jack black…why are jews so vulgar?
    daryl, do you pose that question to your “students”?

  8. 9

    MikeBoyScout spews:

    Congrats to all who keep this blog running.
    Collecting the pacific northwest’s most prolificly intellectually challenged trolls ain’t easy either.

  9. 10

    John Coaltrain spews:

    Re 8: Jack Black is Jewish! I did not know that. But Jack Black doesn’t comment here.

    The premier Republigro troll in the U.S., Puddybud, does, however, frequently grace these comment threads – often identifying things.

    The moniker ‘Puddybud’ always conjures an image, to me at least, of a large (somewhat slow-witted) rural 1950’s Negro who is best friends with his own penis: His own ‘Puddybud’, as it were.

  10. 11

    manoftruth spews:

    Re 8: Jack Black is Jewish! I did not know that. But Jack Black doesn’t comment here.

    well now you know. but just out of curiosity, he’s a hollywood actor who makes mostly vulgar movies…what do you think the chances were that he wasn’t jewish.

  11. 13

    proud leftist spews:

    7 years of exposing the pigfuckers, goatfuckers, and motherfuckers that compose the contemporary GOP. Congrats, HA. Fuck Tim Eymann!

  12. 14


    Happy 7th anniversary. Wow what a strange trip it’s been.

    10 – Look up “puddy” in the urban dictionary and you get a pretty good idea of the handle’s intended meaning. Of course many of Puddybud’s early comments went on ad vomitus bragging about the hot sex life a man of faith (Puddybud of course) has with his wife. Grrooooooaaann….

    Another alternative meaning might be the David Puddy character from Seinfeld – again, a man of faith who turns Elaine into putty in his hands. (Sex outside of marriage?) So Puddybud = friend of David – perhaps a backhanded slap at Goldy.

  13. 16

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @5 “One can call those the good ol’ days, seeing as how since then Republicans have become even more batshit insane.”

    It’s only a matter of time before they start fucking each other. Few things in life are as much fun as watching Republicans eat each other, although it can get scary. When they started talking about “civil war,” most people assumed they meant Republicans versus Democrats, but that’s wrong. What Republicans really want to do is fight among themselves. Over what, God only knows. Certainly not women. Who the hell wants Republican women?

  14. 17

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Speaking of women, The Gropenator’s wife finally left him. She was fed up with either his womanizing or his politics or both.

  15. 18

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @6 Freep? You gotta be kidding. Freep isn’t even good for toilet paper. If you wipe your ass with Freep you’ll get hives.

  16. 19

    Michael spews:

    Happy Birthday to everyone that can provide a long form birth certificate that proves:
    1. That you were born the United States.
    2. That both your parents were in the United States legally. and that your parents were:
    1. Legally married to each other.
    2. Straight.
    3. Of the same race, preferably non-Irish european.
    4. Preferably Christian, but we can overlook the fact that you’re a Jew as long as you don’t press the issue.

  17. 20

    Michael spews:

    Or we can go with the non-right wing version:
    Happy Birthday, everyone and big ups to Goldy, Darryl, Carl, Lee and everyone else that’s taken time to post on HA. Hazzah!

  18. 24

    Steve spews:

    @6 “Here’s the Democrat’s pedophile listing”

    How pathetic. That, um, so-called list of yours has to go back some thirty years to dig up a mere handful of Dems? Can we at least agree to stay within the current Millinium?

    “We may as well be fair about it, Stevie-boy!”

    Well, to be fair about it, my mindless Randroid friend, you’d first have to admit that yours is a very short list that goes back decades whereas mine is a very long list that goes back a only few years. Hell, to be fair about it, you’d have to admit that the only thing your list proves is that there’s umpteen times more Republican pervs busted over any three month time-span than there are Dems over three decades. To be fair about it, you’d have to admit that, as a rebuttal, that list of yours is some very weak shit. You’d also have to admit that the fact that such a pathetic attempt has been made to document Dem perversion only shows that the wingnuts are increasing aware and sensitive about their own prediliction to fucking goats.

    Let’s be honest, Droid. You had no intentions of “being fair about it”. You dipped into the false equivalency well for a faux rebuttal like just like the loyal little wingnut you are.

  19. 25

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    @10 and 14:

    It’s clear that “Puddy” refers to the fecal matter that is emitted from the “bud” (anal sphincter) as I had noted in a previous iteration of my screen ID in a riff based on Kris Kristofferson’s lyric:

    Zotz sez: Puddybud is just another word for arschloch!*

    You may recall that Pudpuller used to use the term arschloch frequently in his “posts”. He appeared to cease its use after I pointed this out. Might be an interesting query of the database for you, YLB, if you’re so inclined…

    *arschloch is the German word for asshole

  20. 26

    Zotz sez: Teahadists are Koch suckers! spews:

    @25: Of course, Puddybud’s posts read like frenetic mental masturbation and indiscriminant spooging, hence “Pudpuller”.

  21. 28

    Lauramae spews:

    I check out the stories every day. Darryl you have your own style. Don’t worry. Goldy’s fun, but you’re okay too.

  22. 30


    Heh. Just a did an update. Through the end of April, this is what I get:

    ∴ b hacols -f c –size
    | size |
    | 479597 |
    1 row in set

    I must have some spam that Goldy cleared off.

    and here’s what’s in May so far:

    ∴ b hacols -f c –size –snapshot 201105
    | size |
    | 1031 |
    1 row in set

  23. 31

    Steve spews:

    @29 Nah, things are slow these days. I have way too much time to kill. But at least I’m getting some projects done around the house.