Vote. For. The. Democrat. *
* Unless you live in the 43rd LD, in which case you should vote for Socialist Jess Spear, not because there’s anything particularly awful about Frank Chopp, but because he’s the Speaker, and it’s always good for a Democratic Speaker to feel a little pressure from the left. (Plus, it’s not like Frank’s actually going to lose or anything, so where’s the harm?) But other than Jess, vote for the Democrat, regardless of how many billions in tax breaks they voted to give Boeing, because even if a particular Republican candidate is not entirely a woman-hating, union-busting, gun-slinging, Koch-sucking corporatist nutjob (and he or she probably is), his or her election would just enable the woman-hating, union-busting, gun-slinging, Koch-sucking corporatist nutjobs who dominate the Republican Party. So don’t be an enabler! Of course, if there’s more than one credible Democrat in the race, vote for the one the Seattle Times didn’t endorse (I mean, duh-uh), except in the 37th LD, where I’m voting for Pramila Jayapal anyway. Pig, truffle, and all that. And on a related note, vote “Yes” on Seattle Prop 1 to create a Metropolitan Parks District, if only because the Seattle Times endorsed “No,” and, well, fuck ’em, amirite? But whatever you do, no Republicans, because Republicans suck, and we desperately need the Democrats to control the legislature if we’re to have a snowball’s chance at responsibly moving forward on a transportation funding package, the state Voting Rights Act, fully funding McCleary, protecting reproductive rights, and other crucial issues. And if you think my four-word formula is a stupid or lazy way to do endorsements, well, it ends up achieving the exact same result as my former colleagues’ kajillion-word SECB missive—except for the Spear/Chopp race, because unlike them my balls didn’t ascend into my abdomen upon my departure. Metaphorically. (I mean, they haven’t literally, either. But you know what I mean.) Whatever. Vote. For. The. Democrat.