Goldy

Jesus Christ… when will our local media stop bending over backwards to accommodate Republicans in their efforts to greenwash themselves?

The sub-headline on Chris McGann’s article in Tuesday’s Seattle P-I, “Gregoire, Rossi battle for eco-credentials,” is a prime illustration of how journalistic “objectivity” goes awry, implying that there is some sort of “battle” between the two candidates when it comes to credibility on environmental issues, when in fact there has never been any contest at all. Gov. Gregoire has an impeccable environmental record that spans her entire career, whereas Rossi is a Dino-come-lately to the issue, spouting half-measures and platitudes in an effort paint himself as a moderate. (Whatever that means.)

And the text of McGann’s article isn’t any better than the headline.

Campaigning out of a hybrid SUV that gets about 27 miles per gallon, Republican gubernatorial candidate Dino Rossi says that when it comes to the environment, he’s more progressive than many voters might think.

I’ve long struggled to come up with a cogent definition of what it means to be a “progressive,” but apparently it merely requires driving a hybrid… even a hybrid SUV that gets only half the mileage of a fuel efficient Prius. By that measure, I guess Rossi is more progressive than I am. Who knew?

Rossi’s agenda calls for converting the state motor pool to hybrid and plug-in vehicles by 2015, providing a sales tax exemption on hybrid vehicles, replacing fish-killing road culverts and implementing massive congestion relief projects that he says will eliminate millions of tons of carbon emissions produced by cars stuck in traffic.

Uh-huh. Let’s take the main points of “Rossi’s agenda” one by one.

1) Converting the state motor pool to hybrid and plug-in vehicles by 2015.
Good idea. In fact it’s such a good idea, that it was one of the main points in Gov. Gregoire’s “Washington Climate Change Challenge,” Executive Order 07-02, signed and sealed by the governor on February 7, 2007. And how’s it going? 690 of the state motor pool’s 1,800 vehicles are now hybrids, a percentage that ranks WA number three in the nation. When you add in flex-fuel vehicles, WA ranks number one.

2) Providing a sales tax exemption on hybrid vehicles.
Because the last thing a Republican like Rossi would ever argue for doing is allowing market forces to work their magic… you know, the way $4/gallon gasoline is already driving consumers to more fuel efficient cars. But I’m willing to meet Dino halfway, and suggest a more targeted sales tax exemption for passenger cars that get better than 40 miles to the gallon, because hell if taxpayers should subsidize some $50,000 Lexus hybrid that gets only 25 mpg, just so Dino and his rich buddies can feel good about themselves while getting yet another a tax break to boot.

3) Replacing fish-killing road culverts.
Again, the state is already in the process of replacing salmon culverts as part of its Barrier Removal Program, 69 since 1992, at a cost of $27 million. Rossi’s much-ridiculed fantasy transportation “plan” would set aside $200 million toward replacing culverts at an estimated average cost of $100,000 each (about a quarter the price of already completed projects)… a random number he clearly pulled out of his ass.

4) Implementing massive congestion relief projects that he says will eliminate millions of tons of carbon emissions produced by cars stuck in traffic.
Too bad the science doesn’t bear this out. According to Sightline, “every extra one-mile stretch of lane added to a congested highway will increase climate-warming CO2 emissions more than 100,000 tons over 50 years.” It’s convenient rhetoric to argue that building new roads reduces carbon emissions, but it doesn’t pass the laugh test, let alone empirical inquiry.

And neither does this ridiculous piece of editorializing:

Rossi, who like GOP presidential candidate Sen. John McCain says global warming is a problem that must be addressed, is running toward an issue many Republicans dismiss or ignore — the environment.

Uh-huh. Really…?

McCain: “The facts of global warming demand our urgent attention.”

Rossi: “We’ll see how this debate goes, but I don’t think anybody should panic at this point.”

So Rossi is in a “battle” to hybridize a state fleet that is already hybridizing, provide incentives that are already being provided by the market, replace salmon culverts that are already being replaced, and address global warming by building roads that will only increase carbon emissions. That’s some green agenda.

Sure, McGann eventually gets to the Democrats’ rebuttal but not until 200 words into the 275 that grace A1, after the headline and the lede have already done their damage. The impression left on most readers (many of whom don’t read much past the headline, let alone the front page) is that both candidates are fighting to claim the mantle of environmental stewardship, when in fact Rossi’s war is merely one of words, whereas Gregoire’s is one of actual accomplishments—according to Washington Conservation Voters, an “extensive record of environmental leadership.” And that’s only what she’s accomplished since becoming governor.

“So what are you doing about it?” Rossi asked. “Well, I’ve actually made a proposal that is the only serious proposal that would remove carbon from the air. She has made no serious proposal.”

Yeah, sure, that’s what Rossi said, I guess, but you didn’t have to repeat it, Chris. You’re a reporter, not a fucking stenographer, and it’s simply irresponsible to leave that claim dangling out there without making any effort to validate or fisk it. Rossi’s plan is arguably not serious, would not remove carbon from the air, and is most definitely not the only one out there. Gov. Gregoire hasn’t just been making carbon-cutting proposals (the Climate Action, Green Jobs, Renewable Fuel, Clean Cars bills, etc.) as governor she’s been implementing them. And as the P-I’s Capitol Reporter, Chris, you know that.

In fact, the whole premise of this article, that Dino Rossi could possibly have any credible claim to being pro-environment, let alone “progressive” for chissakes, is patently absurd! This is the BIAW candidate—the only major political organization in Washington state politics to oppose the Puget Sound Partnership—and you’re going to allow him to greenwash himself on the front page of the Seattle P-I?

Un-fucking-believable.

Mr. Mark Ginther
Executive News Director
KING 5 Television
333 Dexter Ave. N
Seattle, WA 98109

Dear Mr. Ginther,

As I’m sure you agree, Robert Mak leaving KING5 News is a great loss to both the station and its audience, but every crisis presents an opportunity, and in this case it is an opportunity for KING5 to continue its proud tradition of public-affairs programming, while producing a show that you and others might actually “get.” Specifically, I humbly propose that you replace Mr. Mak… with me.

Think about it. As a freeloader on the public airwaves, you have a moral obligation (if not a legally enforceable one anymore) to serve the interests of the local community, and yet you also have a fiduciary obligation to maximize profits for your Texas-based corporate overlords. So what better way to meet both these responsibilities than by putting your 24 minutes a week of public-affairs programming in the hands of our region’s most outrageous and influential blogger?

Imagine angry shouting matches over arcane details of Washington state’s tax structure, or Democratic consultant Cathy Allen spewing an endless stream of profanity as former state GOP chair Chris Vance assaults her with a folding chair. And trust me; they’ll do it. They’re both self-promoters trolling for clients, and they’ll do just about anything to get themselves on TV.

With a nod to Mak’s legacy and a wink toward my own, I call my show Up Yours with David Goldstein, signaling KING5’s ongoing commitment to thoughtful political coverage and analysis while adopting the snarky and somewhat irreverent attitude of the Daily Show, the blogosphere and the other new media outlets that have been steadily stealing audience (and advertisers) away from traditional news organizations such as your own.

But perhaps best of all, Up Yours would provide KING5 with an affordable and stable means of fulfilling its public service requirement. Having been out of a job since losing my talk show at 710-KIRO back in January, I’m willing to work for cheap. And, you can rest assured that with me behind the desk nobody, but nobody, is going to offer $160,000 a year to lure away your host. I even have an idea for my first segment that I bet you’re going to love: a tantalizing expose on wasteful government spending. For example, did you know that Seattle bizarrely pays the mayor’s communications director a higher salary than the mayor himself?! Shocking, I know. And after we hear what Mak has to say for himself, I plan to hit him with a chair.

Now that’s showbiz.

I look forward to meeting with you at your earliest convenience to discuss this opportunity further.

Sincerely,

David Goldstein
HorsesAss.org

I received several emails over the weekend, from both the left and the right, suggesting (or goading) that I write a Memorial Day tribute of my own. And I would have… that is, if I had anything particularly relevant to say on the subject.

I’ve never served in the military, nor have any of my closest friends, nor anybody in my immediate family. Not my siblings nor my parents nor my grandparents nor my first or second cousins. I had a great uncle who served as an MP during World War II, guarding German prisoners of war, I believe stateside, but to my knowledge that’s about as close to combat as anyone on either side of my family has ever come. In fact, it seems clear that some of my ancestors emigrated to the U.S. specifically to avoid service in the Czar’s army.

As a child of the sixties, growing up watching the Vietnam War on TV, I vowed never to enlist, even if drafted. I would not give my life to fight what I believed to be an immoral war… and besides, I always thought I’d make such a crappy soldier that my risk of court martial for insubordination would far outweigh any chance that I’d ever do time for draft evasion. I was never a pacifist per se, but I’ve never believed in such a thing as a “just” war. Necessary perhaps, but never just.

Over the course of my 45 years I have come to know people who have served, some who even served in combat, but I’ve never known anybody who has sacrificed his life in service to our nation, nor am I aware of any close friend or relative to have lost a close friend or relative as such. The tragedy of war — Iraq, Vietnam or any other — has never directly touched my life.

I have both empathy and sympathy for those who have not been so fortunate, but my personal experience of Iraq is little different than that of Vietnam: it is something I watch on TV.

So who am I to memorialize our war dead when I know nothing of what they or their families endured? How can I adequately memorialize something for which I have no personal memory?

I am not a soldier. I do not come from a military family, nor from a cultural milieu were military service is common or even encouraged. Like President Bush and Vice-President Cheney and so many of the other hawks who foolishly led us into Iraq, I would have done almost anything to avoid military service. (The difference is, I admit it.) In this context, what words of commemoration could I have given, however heartfelt, that wouldn’t have come off as hollow?

Some of the fallen we honor each Memorial Day gave their lives willingly, others not. Some died defending freedom, others fell defending the folly or pride of their leaders. Some causes are more noble, some deaths more honorable… that is the nature of war, a nature reflected in the historical roots of Memorial Day itself, which arose after the Civil War to honor the dead of both those who defended the Union, and those who fought to preserve a Southern economy based on slavery.

While I may not know war firsthand, I know my history. I know that for every Yorktown there is a Gallipoli… for every Afghanistan there is an Iraq. The same armies that risked their lives to liberate the Nazi death camps, incinerated the city of Dresden and tens of thousands of innocent civilians—women, children, babies—with it.

I’m not a politician, and so I do not have to pin a flag to my lapel, place my hand over my heart and pretend that patriotism always trumps history or common sense. And so on Memorial Day I honored our war dead in the best way that I knew how: by keeping silent. It is simply not in me to ignore my own internal dissonance, but it would have been disrespectful to voice it on a day that means so much to families who have sacrificed so much for our nation, whatever the cause… and so much more than I myself have ever been asked to give.