Mr. Mark Ginther
Executive News Director
KING 5 Television
333 Dexter Ave. N
Seattle, WA 98109
Dear Mr. Ginther,
As I’m sure you agree, Robert Mak leaving KING5 News is a great loss to both the station and its audience, but every crisis presents an opportunity, and in this case it is an opportunity for KING5 to continue its proud tradition of public-affairs programming, while producing a show that you and others might actually “get.” Specifically, I humbly propose that you replace Mr. Mak… with me.
Think about it. As a freeloader on the public airwaves, you have a moral obligation (if not a legally enforceable one anymore) to serve the interests of the local community, and yet you also have a fiduciary obligation to maximize profits for your Texas-based corporate overlords. So what better way to meet both these responsibilities than by putting your 24 minutes a week of public-affairs programming in the hands of our region’s most outrageous and influential blogger?
Imagine angry shouting matches over arcane details of Washington state’s tax structure, or Democratic consultant Cathy Allen spewing an endless stream of profanity as former state GOP chair Chris Vance assaults her with a folding chair. And trust me; they’ll do it. They’re both self-promoters trolling for clients, and they’ll do just about anything to get themselves on TV.
With a nod to Mak’s legacy and a wink toward my own, I call my show Up Yours with David Goldstein, signaling KING5’s ongoing commitment to thoughtful political coverage and analysis while adopting the snarky and somewhat irreverent attitude of the Daily Show, the blogosphere and the other new media outlets that have been steadily stealing audience (and advertisers) away from traditional news organizations such as your own.
But perhaps best of all, Up Yours would provide KING5 with an affordable and stable means of fulfilling its public service requirement. Having been out of a job since losing my talk show at 710-KIRO back in January, I’m willing to work for cheap. And, you can rest assured that with me behind the desk nobody, but nobody, is going to offer $160,000 a year to lure away your host. I even have an idea for my first segment that I bet you’re going to love: a tantalizing expose on wasteful government spending. For example, did you know that Seattle bizarrely pays the mayor’s communications director a higher salary than the mayor himself?! Shocking, I know. And after we hear what Mak has to say for himself, I plan to hit him with a chair.
Now that’s showbiz.
I look forward to meeting with you at your earliest convenience to discuss this opportunity further.
Sincerely,
David Goldstein
HorsesAss.org