And I’ll have some pasties…ahhh, pastries with that latte, please

When did liberals become such prudes? Isn’t it odd that Seattle, unquestionably a liberal city, had an 18 year moratorium on strip clubs that was only recently lifted? And that lap dance proximity became a ballot measure just a few years ago?

Now it seems some of Seattle’s priggishness has sloughed off on Bellevue:

The sign for Knotty Bodies Espresso went up last Thursday at the intersection of Northeast Eighth Street and 164th Avenue Northeast, said resident Nick Bean, who took pictures of the bright-red hut and emailed them to other residents.

“I was incredulous,” he said.

The stand, in the Crossroads/ Lake Hills area, opened Saturday, and sure enough, the baristas were scantily clad, he said.

Apparently, baristas in bikinis aren’t Mr. Bean’s cup of tea. (Personally, I find the name “Knotty Bodies” pretty unappealing….)

But…scantily clad? Like…the way everyone is dressed at the beach, or at the pool? Okay…so beaches are not so much of a thing in this region. Good point. But still, scantily clad women adorn the cover of magazines in the family grocery store, seduce us into buying books in the most corporate of book stores, and are plastered all over the freaking TeeVee!

One concerned Bellevue resident (Bellevutian?), the mother of two children, points out:

There’s a bus stop near the espresso stand and several bus routes pass through the intersection, she said.

She is concerned that five bikini-clad baristas in Everett were charged with prostitution earlier this year.

“I really don’t think that’s an appropriate activity for children to witness,” she said.

I seriously doubt children are going to “witness prostitution,” per se, even under the dubious assumption that the coffee kiosk is a front for a prostitution ring. Yeah…they’re selling something wet and warm…it’s called Joe.

My advice for this woman and the other neo-puritans who are outraged: “go Amish.” Seriously, get a buggy and get off the grid.

If a bikini-clad barista is too much, then general proximity to American culture is simply not going to work for you.


  1. 1

    Marvin Stamn spews:

    When did liberals become such prudes?

    It wasn’t about being prudish, it was about controlling taxpayers.

  2. 2

    slingshot spews:

    Just what legal gymnastics will the city of Bellevue end up using to strip these folks of their constitutional rights? Outlaw bikinis?

  3. 5

    MarkS spews:

    Oh Puttybutt’s misquoting again. The prostitution the Everett baristas are accused of is letting some Everett undercover cop touch their boobs for eighty bucks.

    Eighty bucks? Any dude with enough game can go further for less. The girl probably thought this guy’s a chump but hey he’s easy money.

    This goes to trial next month so it’ll be interesting to see what happens.

  4. 6

    sarge spews:

    @2) From the Bellevue Reporter:

    Bellevue Deputy Mayor Claudia Balducci said during Monday’s city council meeting that residents should shame Knotty Bodies customers by taking photos of the patrons and posting them on the internet.

  5. 7

    Puddybud is shocked SHOCKED spews:

    Once again all can see MarkS is shitting on the blog. Typical libtardo with no brain.

    Challenge to the dipshit MarkS… What did Puddy misquote fool?

    Crickets chirping LOUDLY

  6. 8

    Puddybud is shocked SHOCKED spews:

    Puddy has a question…

    If this Latte stand was near the beach at Bellevue Pl and Meydenbauer Way? Would these Bellevue peeps be screaming and hollering about their dress?

  7. 9

    Marvin Stamn spews:

    4. Puddybud Remembers Libtardos Forget spews:
    Goldy, Do you remember the Everett Barista fiasco?

    “touch their breasts” gives a whole new meaning to adding milk to your coffee.

  8. 10

    Sludge Puppy spews:

    Last night a friend and I were discussion opening a coffe shop with scantily clad servers only hire fat men with hairy guts and see what the reaction would be from the polticians and public. Unfortunately we were serious.

  9. 11

    Possum spews:

    The local news once again featured clear views of the offending baristas (both attractive in my opinion). What if children were watching the news?! The horror, the horror.

    I think the real problem is that some people are bothered by the obvious commercialization of female sexuality to sell coffee. If the same girls were doing a car wash to aid some charity it’s doubtful anyone would complain. There may also be an element of not-so-beautiful-and-young women bothered by the attention garnered by the baristas.

    And there are bars where the staff tend to be large, hairy men. I visited one in the Castro many years ago.

  10. 12

    Michael spews:

    Darryl, Bellevue has always been prudish.

    Back in the 80’s 1st Ave. in Seattle was strip-club, peep-show central. The term “skid row” was coined in Seattle to describe 1st. and Yesler back in the day.

    Seattle went to shit when all the money and the white collar folks showed up about 15 years ago.

  11. 16

    Mr. Cynical spews:

    These gals are making about $9/hr. plus tips.
    Our good friend’s daughter is a Bikini Barrista. Her tips are averaging $25/hr the past 3 months. That’s $34/hr…..which is $34/hr. more than YLB aka “ancestor” earns.
    They were very, very concerned.
    But went and met the owner, saw the security and accepted the fact their daughter wears less on the beach!

  12. 17

    Mr. Cynical spews:

    9. Marvin Stamn spews:

    4. Puddybud Remembers Libtardos Forget spews:
    Goldy, Do you remember the Everett Barista fiasco?

    “touch their breasts” gives a whole new meaning to adding milk to your coffee.

    Marvin…that is dang funny.
    Hopefully they never offer “cream cheese” for your bagel, huh?

  13. 18

    rhp6033 spews:

    The problem isn’t really that the baristas are wearing bikinis, or even negligies. That’s no big deal, it’s not much different than what you would see on the beach. Those stands pose no problem, even if they are near parks or schools. I do feel sorry for the “family friendly” expresso stands which are going out of business due to the competition, however. I support them on the rare occassion when I feel like spending four bucks for a cup of coffee, which really isn’t very often.

    The problem, at least on Hwy 99 between Lynnwood and Everett, is that there are at least three stands in the block between the Home Depot and the BECU where the baristas are wearing significantly less, and they are offering a strip show (offering peaks) for the price of a tip. When things are slow, they find excuses to go outside, without covering up, to drum up business. It’s gotten rather dangerous just trying to drive that strip of road (no pun intended) due to near-accidents caused by guys hitting the brakes when they see a gal waiving on the side of the road, wearing only a thong and a band-aid over each nipple.

    I think thousands of gals who have worked as baristas over the past couple of decades will have to remove that term from their resumes, because the context of the title has now changed. It used to mean someone who was skilled at making gourmet coffees and expressos, but now it means a stripper who pours coffee on the side.

    I don’t like to think of myself as a prude, but if they are going to be conducting an adults-only business, they should be regulated as such.

  14. 20

    uptown spews:

    If they are selling sex appeal, they should be regulated as such.
    If they hire specifically on looks, age and sex; they are no longer just a coffee kiosk.

  15. 21

    rhp6033 spews:

    # 20: Well, it’s not just selling on sex appeal. That’s done all the time. For example, lots of people know how to mix drinks, but the bartenders who are really in demand at clubs are the ones who have sex appeal. I don’t think we will ever get away from hiring based, in large part, on looks.

    The key to regulation should probably be the conduct which is taking place.

  16. 22

    mr. smitty spews:

    Good article Darryl. Girls in beachware is not something worth getting all up in arms about. If things like the Everett stand happen that’s a different story, but all the outrage over these stands just makes me laugh.

    In a world where your kid sees objectificaiton on TV every night and can find truly gross stuff online – intentionally or not – in about 30 seconds, stressing out over girls in bikinis speaks more for the people doing the complaining than the girls or patrons.

  17. 23

    Michael spews:

    Personally, I’d like anyone that’s working with food that they plan on serving me to be fully clothed. Maybe there aren’t any food safety/hygiene issues involved, but that still creeps me out.

    If we ban the bikini booths can we, please-pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top, also ban annoying-hipster coffee shops?

  18. 25

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    @23 There’s an idea — make food servers wear hazmat suits and respirators. Can’t be too careful with this swine flu going around!

  19. 26

    Marvin Stamn spews:

    23. Michael spews:
    Personally, I’d like anyone that’s working with food that they plan on serving me to be fully clothed.

    even nyotaimori?

  20. 27


    Don’t like the place? Take your biz elsewhere. Starbucks is probably 8 ft away.

    Don’t want your spawn looking at titties? What the hell are they doing there anyway? Keep ‘em on a leash.

    So, hey! Right wing assholes – Let the free market handle this.