Last week, President Bush sent a request to Congress for $500 million in supplement aid to Mexico. This is part of a $1.4 billion package known as “Plan Mexico” that aims to combat drug trafficking and other issues of concern involving our southern neighbor. Mexicans are concerned that the plan subverts Mexico’s military and justice system to U.S. demands. Americans are concerned that the plan will be as big of a disaster as Plan Colombia. And Congress is accusing the Bush Administration of keeping information about the plan secret while demanding that they pass the funding before the holiday break. Here’s a quick pictorial rundown of how we’ve ended up in this sorry state.
Americans spend $40 billion per year on drugs that come here from Mexico.
As a result, Mexican drug lords get filthy, stinking rich and very powerful.
Needing someplace to hide all this money, the drug lords started to launder it through Mexican banks.
The Mexican President vows to crack down on this illegal industry.
Gaseous windbags who have no idea what they’re talking about expect this to be simple.
The drug lords use their billions of dollars in profits to arm themselves and bribe public officials.
The violence and corruption wreaks havoc on the Mexican economy, sending millions of people north in search of opportunity.
Drug lords are captured. The head of the DEA declares victory in the drug war.
Gaseous windbags who have no idea what they’re talking about cheer the news and blame Mexico for the immigration problem.
Drug prices spike as addicts continue to drive the market.
The Drug Czar declares victory at the higher drug prices, while crime waves occur along drug distribution points in the US.
New people take over drug distribution in Mexico in order to get filthy, stinking rich and very powerful.
The new drug lords re-establish smuggling routes and drug prices drop. American drug users rejoice.
Gaseous windbags who have no idea what they’re talking about accuse the Mexican government of not being serious and demand that a wall be built along the border.
The Democratic candidates for President argue about whether or not illegal immigrants in New York State should be able to get drivers’ licenses.
The Republican candidates for President vow to keep arresting sick people who use marijuana medicinally.
Drug policy experts explain for the 8 millionth time that the only sensible solution is to decriminalize drug use and have the government regulate and control addictive drugs.
Gaseous windbags who have no idea what they’re talking about scoff at the experts and dismiss them as a radical fringe.
Once the Patriot Act makes it tougher for Americans to make meth in their garages, Mexican drug lords supply it, get even richer, and start putting their money in American banks.
Even more weapons are purchased in the US and smuggled across the border, increasing the amount of terrifying violence.
The Mexican President asks for more assistance from the US while also blaming US drug policy.
Americans do nothing about drug policy while continuing to send millions of people to prison to stop using drugs that 100 million Americans have used.
The President concludes that $40 million per year is not enough money to waste trying to destroy a $40 billion a year industry, so they propose wasting $1 billion instead.
Gaseous windbags who have no idea what they’re talking about are outraged…OUTRAGED!!, that illegal immigrants in New York State can get drivers licenses.
Americans turn to drugs to escape the fact that everyone seems to have their heads up their asses.