Archives for January 2006

It’s Friday night. I don’t feel like writing. It’s an open thread.

I’m interested in recording a 1-hour, weekly podcast from Drinking Liberally… unfortunately, I don’t have any audio equipment, or in fact, any experience at all creating podcasts.

If one or more of my loyal readers would like to volunteer to serve as a producer and get this project rolling, I’d love to hear from you; please leave a comment or send me any email if you are interested. Or, if you think this is a really stupid idea, let me know that too.

And FYI… this coming Tuesday, Rep. Jay Inslee will be stopping by Drinking Liberally. Should be some good conversation.

Well, it’s confirmed… Rev. Ken Hutcherson is a liar. The Stranger’s Eli Sanders talked to AP correspondent Rachel La Corte this morning, regarding her report that Rev. Hutcherson planned to announce a major boycott on national radio. And….

“I stand by the reporting in my story,” La Corte told me.

She’s since talked to Rev. Hutcherson about all this and says: “He insists that I misunderstood him. I don’t feel that I misunderstood him.”

La Corte told me that before she spoke to Hutcherson on Monday, “He’d been trying to get ahold of me all weekend to let me know something he was going to do.” When they finally connected, he told her that he was going to be leading a national boycott of every single company (Microsoft, Boeing, Hewlett-Packard, Nike, Corbis, Vulcan, and RealNetworks) that signed a letter recently supporting Washington’s gay civil rights bill. She asked when he was going to make this announcement, and she says he replied:

“I’m going to be on the Focus on the Family show on Thursday.”

Sanders, who has been tracking down this story, also questions Rev. Hutcherson’s claim that his “boycott” has the support of several major national organizations — including the Family Research Council, the Southern Baptist Convention, and Focus on the Family — claims which neither Sanders nor La Corte have been able to verify. Hmm. I wonder why?

So here’s an interesting thought. Last spring, when The Stranger broke the story that Microsoft pulled its longtime support of anti-discrimination legislation after being threatened with a boycott by Rev. Hutcherson, Microsoft’s denials seemed disingenuous and transparent in light of Hutcherson’s loud and self-aggrandizing claims of credit.

But in light of Rev. Hutcherson’s proven record of lying to the media, um… perhaps Microsoft was telling the truth? Perhaps pressure from Hutcherson had little if anything to do with Microsoft’s decision? Perhaps Hutcherson just seized the opportunity to make headlines for himself? Perhaps he’s just been playing the media for fools all along?

And if so, then the joke’s on him, for whatever his actual influence, Rev. Hutcherson certainly played the lead role in generating the backlash that not only prompted Microsoft to quickly restore its support of the anti-discrimination bill, but to lobby for it harder than ever. Microsoft reportedly applied pressure to several key lawmakers, and while former state senate minority leader Bill Finkbeiner denies they influenced his decision to flip his vote, you can be sure that the largest employer in his district weighs heavily on all his deliberations… of conscience or otherwise.

So if Rev. Hutcherson lied about his role in pressuring Microsoft — just like he lied about this latest fictional boycott — then perhaps the credit he really deserves is for creating the media storm that will ultimately lead to the anti-discrimination bill’s passage after nearly twenty years of close defeats?

I think WA’s gay community owes Rev. Hutcherson a big, wet kiss, smack dab on his lovely, lying lips.

UPDATE:
The Stranger’s Eli Sanders continues to kick the legs out from under the Right Wrong Reverend Hutcherson, who claimed his boycott had support from the Family Research Council, the Southern Baptist Convention and Focus on the Family.

Um… not according to the Family Research Council:

Amber Hildebrand, a spokeswoman for the conservative Family Research Council , tells me that FRC is not supporting Rev. Hutcherson’s boycott of companies that support Washington State’s gay civil rights bill.

“Hutcherson is a good friend of FRC,” Hildebrand told me. “FRC opposes laws protecting people based on the language of “sexual orientation.’ But FRC is not participating in the boycott . We don’t participate in any boycotts.”

And as for the Southern Baptist Convention?

Jill Martin, spokeswoman for the public policy arm of the Southern Baptist Convention, tells me that the SBC is not backing Rev. Hutcherson.

“We have no record of the SBC having a position on the boycott,” she says.

The AP’s Rachel La Corte is a good reporter. There’s no way she could have gotten all this wrong unless Hutcherson intended for her to get all this wrong. He lied. He dissed her.

And when you diss one reporter like this, you diss all reporters. I hope my friends in the media remember this the next time Rev. Hutcherson tries to grab some free press for himself.

I’m pretty open about the fact that I view my success as a blogger mostly in terms of how well I influence the mainstream media. My goal is to inform, inspire, cajole, even manipulate my friends in the press corps. Nothing wrong with that. That’s what PR is all about.

But one thing I never do is lie or trick journalists into reporting something I know to be false. That would not only be rude and inconsiderate, it would destroy my credibility. “Traditional journalists” are suspicious of us bloggers, and rightly so; the first time I dupe a reporter into making a fool out of himself, is the last time that reporter will ever take me seriously.

For a good example of the Fool Me Once Doctrine in action, just witness our friends at (un)Sound Politics and their declining impact on political coverage. But I wonder if the same harsh standard by which reporters and editorialists judge us bloggers will also be applied to other prominent media manipulators, like say… a certain gay-bashing, Redmond reverend?

On Monday, Rev. Ken “The Jews Killed Christ” Hutcherson celebrated MLK Day by announcing plans to use an appearance today on Dr. James Dobson’s nationally syndicated radio show, Focus on the Family, to call for a boycott of Microsoft, Boeing and other companies that oppose discrimination of gays and lesbians. Despite the inherent absurdity of a consumer boycott of commercial aircraft and Microsoft Windows, Rev. Hutcherson managed to generate an Associated Press headline out of his carefully staged bit of grandstanding.

Well, The Stranger’s Eli Sanders was curious to see how our local Rev. Hutcherson might take advantage of his moment on the national stage, and so he tuned in today and listened. And listened. And listened. And listened… but no Rev. Hutcherson. So he called Focus on the Family’s headquarters, and you know what? Rev. Hutcherson was never scheduled to appear on the national program.

So… Sanders asks the question the AP and the dozens of newspapers who carried the original story should now be asking of themselves:

Does this “national boycott” actually exist? Or did Rev. Hutcherson trick the press into splashing his name nationally when he knew even his buddy Dobson wasn’t going to?

Rev. Hutcherson now claims he never said he was going to announce a boycott today, and I suppose that AP reporter Rachel La Corte could have gotten it wrong. But if she didn’t, my question for her and the rest of the press corps is: “Are you ever going to trust Rev. Hutcherson again?”

Prefixing one’s name with “Reverend” or “Rabbi” or some other title of ordination should not amount to instant credibility. If La Corte had been a tad less trusting she might have called Focus on the Family herself to follow up on Rev. Hutcherson’s claims… and in so doing, either would have corrected a misunderstanding, or stumbled upon an even larger story… that of a self-righteous, moralizing local minister who blatantly lies to reporters.

Eli Sanders of The Stranger explores the dilemma gay right’s activists face should the WA State Supreme Court toss out our state Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and instruct the Legislature to enact “appropriate remedies.”

Last week, the chief justice of the Washington State supreme court, Gerry Alexander, took the unusual step of setting a timetable for the court’s highly anticipated (and politically explosive) decision on same-sex marriage. According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Alexander said the court was aware of the public’s eagerness for a ruling and hoped to decide the marriage case before early March, when this year’s legislative session ends.

The comment immediately set off intense speculation: What did this rare public comment by the chief justice mean? Why would the court be pushing to decide before the end of the legislative session? Does the court’s desire to do so signal a plan by the justices to declare the state’s ban on gay unions unconstitutional and then direct the legislature to come up with an appropriate remedy before the session ends?

That last possibility is one that worries gay rights activists. Like their conservative opponents, they have been spending a lot of time these days thinking about possible decision scenarios and plotting their best political moves given various hypothetical outcomes. And the trickiest outcome is the one in which the Democrat-controlled legislature is told by the court to come up with a law recognizing gay unions. Would legislators have the courage to endorse full equality

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Hmm. Apparently, it wasn’t my fault after all….

Former FEMA Director Michael Brown on Wednesday accepted a greater share of the blame for the government’s failures after Hurricane Katrina, saying he fell short in conveying the magnitude of the disaster and calling for help.

“I should have asked for the military sooner. I should have demanded the military sooner,” Brown told a gathering of meteorologists at a ski resort in the Sierra Nevada.

“It was beyond the capacity of the state and local governments, and it was beyond the capacity of FEMA,” said Brown, former head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Whew… that’s a relief. The past few months have been a living hell, as I’ve had to struggle with the guilt of having been personally responsible for hundreds of deaths and untold human suffering in the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. At least, that’s what Brownie implied in his congressional testimony last September, when he blamed me not only for his fall from power, but for FEMA’s inability to respond to the disaster:

While FEMA was trying to respond to probably the largest natural disaster in the history of this country, a catastrophic disaster that the president has described covering an area the size of Great Britain

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If you’re ever lucky enough to score an invitation to the home of 39th District Dems chair Steve Galea and his wife Carol… go. I first visited the geodesic dome house they built on a hillside somewhere in rural Snohomish County (I’ve been there twice, and I’m still not exactly sure where it is) as a guest of my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, who had won a dinner and wine tasting in a silent auction for the Snohomish County Democrats.

Carol is a superb cook and Steve is a skilled vintner, making wonderful wines from some of the best vineyards in Eastern WA, as well as a few homegrown varieties. They are also both incredibly gracious hosts. So when Steve invited me to a barrel tasting this Sunday, I jumped at the chance.

There were, however, ulterior motives, for in addition to tasting Steve’s wine and Carol’s food, it was also presented as an opportunity meet and talk with Snohomish County Democrat chair Mark Hintz, who is also a candidate for state Democratic chair.

Not being very hip to inside party politics, I suggested bringing a couple of other bloggers with me, and Steve graciously extended the invitation to Brian Moran of WashBlog and Lynn Allen of Evergreen Politics. (I might have invited Jon Stahl too, but I was afraid he’d bring his damn bell.) Joining us was Bill Phillips and Greg Rodriguez, two form state chair candidates who are now backing Hintz.

As I’ve stated before, I’m not going to take a position in this contest, because a) my endorsement would be absolutely meaningless, and b) I don’t feel particularly qualified to choose a new state chair. But I did come away from the evening absolutely comfortable with the prospect of Hintz leading the state Dems into the 21st Century.

I haven’t paid close attention to the race, and perhaps other candidates have staked out a similar position, but Hintz seems intent on running as an agent of change, with a goal of making the party less autocratic, and more responsive and supportive of local party organizations. I’m guessing there are a lot of party regulars who would really like that.

Hintz also talked about the need for new infrastructure… not just the obvious technology advances we need to implement within the party, but also the need to develop local think tanks, and support the growing blogosphere… both issues that are near and dear to my heart.

But what I found most appealing was the simple fact that Hintz reached out to me and my fellow bloggers in the first place. There was no attempt at a hard sell, and the conversation meandered across a number of topics. In fact, Brian, Lynn and I spent more time sharing our thoughts with him than the other way around. (Well… at least I did. What can I say… I’m a better talker than I am a listener.)

A lot has changed in the ten years since Paul Berendt took the reigns of the party, and not all the party leaders seem to realize this. New technology has revolutionized the way the party organizes volunteers, raises money, and directly communicates with voters… at least it would revolutionize these things if the party would adopt it. And of course, the blogosphere has started to change some of the rules about how the party and candidates interact with the media.

What I want from the new party chair, whoever it is, a willingness to embrace new ideas and technologies, and the openness to seek input from both rank and file Democrats, and relative outsiders like me. I don’t want somebody who just wants to run the party. I want somebody who wants to change it.

UPDATE:
Just to be clear, this is not anything remotely approaching an endorsement. For the record, I have previously communicated with Dwight Pelz and he has said that as chair, he would look forward to meeting with me and other bloggers to discuss new media and other issues.

I’ve never met the other candidates. But I’d be more than happy to meet with any of them… no barrel tasting required.

Well… not exactly. But he has apparently teamed up with Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens, who has proposed sending a fleet of single-hulled tankers into Puget Sound in retaliation for Sen. Maria Cantwell leading the fight to stop drilling in ANWR.

Beltway mites say Elliott Bundy, who worked in Alaska for Lisa in her U.S. Senate race and took a job in her office, has resigned. He’s headed to Seattle to work on Mike McGavick’s campaign to wrest U.S. Sen. Maria Cantwell’s seat away from her in November. Maria is the Washington senator who made Ted Stevens’ head explode during the ANWR debate, the one he swore to drive out of office by going to her state and campaigning against her.

So here’s Ear’s only question: Is Ted paying Elliott’s salary?

The arrival of Bundy — a former Stevens aide — apparently signals the kickoff of the Stevens/McGavick campaign… a team I just don’t believe WA voters will find all that attractive come November. Democratic Party spokesman Christian Sinderman sums it up well:

“We don’t know much about Mike McGavick’s positions on most critical issues, but we do know that he wants to drill in the Arctic. Perhaps Stevens himself will join McGavick later this year and make the case for oil supertankers in the Puget Sound as well.”

One can only hope.

Yesterday, the Rev. Ken Hutcherson celebrated MLK Day by threatening to boycott companies that oppose discrimination. As it turns out, this spirit of inclusiveness, tolerance, and sensitivity to minority communities is entirely in character.

In a radio interview with the Australian Broadcast Corporation back in February of 2004, Rev. Hutcherson spoke effusively about Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, describing how it “totally impacted my whole faith….”

“I think it’s going to be controversial to those believers who don’t want to admit the suffering that Christ had to go through to pay for our sins. I think it’s going to be controversial to the whole view of the Jewish nation. The truth is that they did push to have Christ crucified. That’s just plain truth… that’s Biblical truth.”

So… the Jews killed Christ, huh? That’s the type of preaching we can expect from Rev. Hutcherson?

Hmm. From my reading of the New Testament, I kinda came away with the impression that it was the Romans who nailed Jesus to the cross. But even if you want to pass the blame by arguing that Jews “did push to have Christ crucified,” one should at least make the distinction that it was some Jews, not the Jews or all Jews, or even most Jews. And certainly not any Jews I’ve ever met.

See… it’s not a literal reading of Scripture that Jews like me object to, but rather that self-righteous blowhards like Rev. Hutcherson have chosen to pound it into their congregant’s heads for the past 2000 fucking years! Surely, some parishioners, constantly reminded that it was The Jews who murdered their savior, can’t help but feel a little pissed at all us Golds and Steins walking around denying their faith.

And what is it with this “the Jewish nation” crap, anyway? Exactly what “Jewish nation” is Rev. Hutcherson talking about? Israel?

I don’t think so. In the context of this interview, I believe Rev. Hutcherson is talking about the international nation of Jews that lives amongst us (well… amongst you,) but is never really, truly a part of us (well… you.) By referring to “the Jewish nation,” I think that Rev. Hutcherson is making a clear distinction between real Americans (you know, Christians) and us Christ-killing, Messiah-denying, hell-bound nonbelievers who also happen to live here too.

Or maybe I’m reading too much into this?

What I do know is that for Rev. Hutcherson to fight so hard to maintain the legal right to discriminate in housing, employment, and insurance against a minority group that practices a lifestyle contrary to the teachings of his faith, shows a total lack of tolerance for anybody who might stray from his interpretation of the Good Book. As I’ve written before on the subject (“Am I the Antichrist?“), if Christians like Rev. Hutcherson so fervently believe that my sins have surely doomed me to suffer the eternal fires of damnation in the next world, how can I expect them to respect my rights as an American in this world?

The truth is… I can’t.

The Seattle chapter of Drinking Liberally meets tonight (and every Tuesday), 8PM at the Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Avenue E.

Michael Hood of blatherWatch will be bringing along his new best friend, longtime talk radio host Allan Prell. After a brief tenure in the morning slot on 710-KIRO, Prell was suddenly fired, much to the dismay of his growing audience. Back when Prell was substituting for Dave Ross during the summer of 2004, I had the pleasure of debating Tim Eyman on his show, and man did he stick it to Timmy for not answering the questions. It was loads of fun.

I’ll be bringing a special guest too, who insists on making an early evening of it (out by 9 PM,) so I hope Prell shows up in a timely fashion.

Redmond Rev. Ken Hutcherson celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day by promoting discrimination of gays, announcing that he would use an appearance Thursday on the national theo-con talk show, Focus on the Family, to call for a boycott of Microsoft, Boeing and other companies who support gay rights legislation.

“We’re tired of sitting around thinking that morals can be ignored in our country,” he said. “This is not a threat, this is a promise.”

Yeah… sure it is, Ken. In fact, I betcha that not a single member of your Antioch Bible Church will buy a Boeing jetliner this year. That’s gotta be bad for business.

As for Microsoft, well… asking people to boycott Microsoft is pretty much like asking people to boycott oxygen.

But good luck there too Ken. I’ve seen a better than 1000 percent return on my Apple Computer stock over the past few years, and I’m all for anything that bumps it even higher. (Though once your parishioners dump their Windows boxes and buy Macs, I’m wondering what word processor or spreadsheet they’re gonna use?)

One question though…

Hutcherson said he’s not telling companies to change their own internal policies on gay rights. He just doesn’t want them influencing lawmakers with their support.

“Don’t step in our world, we won’t step in yours,” he said.

Um… so… your world, Ken, is influencing lawmakers? And I always thought church had something to do with, you know… religion.

Former Vice President Al Gore, gave a major speech today before the American Constitution Society and the Liberty Coalition, in which he compared the current wiretapping scandal to the secret surveillance of Martin Luther King Jr. that partially prompted the FISA legislation President Bush has ignored. Gore also called for the appointment of a special counsel to conduct a thorough investigation. A complete transcript is available at Raw Story, but here are a few excerpts that particularly struck me.

At present, we still have much to learn about the NSA’s domestic surveillance. What we do know about this pervasive wiretapping virtually compels the conclusion that the President of the United States has been breaking the law repeatedly and persistently.

A president who breaks the law is a threat to the very structure of our government. Our Founding Fathers were adamant that they had established a government of laws and not men. Indeed, they recognized that the structure of government they had enshrined in our Constitution – our system of checks and balances – was designed with a central purpose of ensuring that it would govern through the rule of law. As John Adams said: “The executive shall never exercise the legislative and judicial powers, or either of them, to the end that it may be a government of laws and not of men.”

An executive who arrogates to himself the power to ignore the legitimate legislative directives of the Congress or to act free of the check of the judiciary becomes the central threat that the Founders sought to nullify in the Constitution – an all-powerful executive too reminiscent of the King from whom they had broken free. In the words of James Madison, “the accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands, whether of one, a few, or many, and whether hereditary, self-appointed, or elective, may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny.”

…

The President and I agree on one thing. The threat from terrorism is all too real. There is simply no question that we continue to face new challenges in the wake of the attack on September 11th and that we must be ever-vigilant in protecting our citizens from harm.

Where we disagree is that we have to break the law or sacrifice our system of government to protect Americans from terrorism. In fact, doing so makes us weaker and more vulnerable.

Once violated, the rule of law is in danger. Unless stopped, lawlessness grows. The greater the power of the executive grows, the more difficult it becomes for the other branches to perform their constitutional roles. As the executive acts outside its constitutionally prescribed role and is able to control access to information that would expose its actions, it becomes increasingly difficult for the other branches to police it. Once that ability is lost, democracy itself is threatened and we become a government of men and not laws.

…

Moreover, if the pattern of practice begun by this Administration is not challenged, it may well become a permanent part of the American system. Many conservatives have pointed out that granting unchecked power to this President means that the next President will have unchecked power as well. And the next President may be someone whose values and belief you do not trust. And this is why Republicans as well as Democrats should be concerned with what this President has done. If this President’s attempt to dramatically expand executive power goes unquestioned, our constitutional design of checks and balances will be lost. And the next President or some future President will be able, in the name of national security, to restrict our liberties in a way the framers never would have thought possible.

…

But the most serious damage has been done to the legislative branch. The sharp decline of congressional power and autonomy in recent years has been almost as shocking as the efforts by the Executive Branch to attain a massive expansion of its power.
…
The Congress we have today is unrecognizable compared to the one in which my father served. There are many distinguished Senators and Congressmen serving today. I am honored that some of them are here in this hall. But the legislative branch of government under its current leadership now operates as if it is entirely subservient to the Executive Branch.
…
It is the pitiful state of our legislative branch which primarily explains the failure of our vaunted checks and balances to prevent the dangerous overreach by our Executive Branch which now threatens a radical transformation of the American system.

I call upon Democratic and Republican members of Congress today to uphold your oath of office and defend the Constitution. Stop going along to get along. Start acting like the independent and co-equal branch of government you’re supposed to be.

Al Gore has transformed himself into one of the few, true statesmen we have on the political scene today. This is an important speech that will most likely be ignored by the mainstream media. So please, read it for yourself.

UPDATE:
Crooks and Liars has video clips of some rousing excerpts. Man… I hope Gore runs for president in 2008.

Dr. Jonathan Wells is a Senior Fellow at the Seattle-based Discovery Institute’s Center for Science and Culture (the “Intelligent Design” propaganda mill,) and the author of Icons of Evolution: Science or Myth, one of the primary “textbooks” with which Discovery promotes ID into schools.

And according to a post by DarkSyde over on Daily Kos, Dr. Wells is also a Moonie:

[Link] Father’s words, my studies, and my prayers convinced me that I should devote my life to destroying Darwinism, just as many of my fellow Unificationists had already devoted their lives to destroying Marxism. When Father chose me (along with about a dozen other seminary graduates) to enter a Ph.D. program in 1978, I welcomed the opportunity to prepare myself for battle.

The “Father” Wells is referring to is none other than Reverend Sun Myung Moon. Well’s education at both Yale and Berkley was funded by Moon’s Unification Church. He’s been a devout ‘Moonie’ for decades.

Hmm. When I was a kid, the Unification Church was considered to be some sort of dangerous, wacky cult; real Christians would actually hire “deprogrammers” to kidnap their kids out of the clutch of the Moonies and reverse their brainwashing. Nowadays, the billionaire Rev. Moon, with all his money and media (he owns The Washington Times and United Press International) has become an integral part of the Republican power structure.

Now, as a Jew, I’ve always had a tough time distinguishing one Christian sect from another; they all seem a little cultish to me. (I mean, transubstantiation… that’s just plain weird.) So the mainstreaming of Moonism doesn’t strike me as all that shocking. But wouldn’t you have thought that the right-wing Evangelicals and Catholics who have embraced Rev. Moon as a political ally would have been a little more put off by the fact that, say… he claims to be the Messiah?

In any case, the fact that one of the main scientists at the heart of ID theory is a devout Moonie who under Moon’s guidance chose to “devote my life to destroying Darwinism” doesn’t say much for the intellectual underpinnings of the theory. As expected, DarkSyde quickly and easily picks apart Wells’ logic and lies. Give it a read.

Dear Chairman Vance,

I cannot tell you how sorry I am to see you step down as chairman of the Washington State Republican Party, as you and I have worked so well together over recent years, apparently pursuing the same goal (you know… electing Democrats.) But the end of your political career is an opportunity for a new chapter in mine, and so I am pleased to officially put my name in for consideration as the new state GOP chair.

A Democratic partisan like me leading the state Republicans? Why the sudden change of heart?

Well, I can’t say that my recent snubbing by the Seattle City Council hasn’t impacted my decision to switch sides, but mostly it’s because I’ve always enjoyed the challenge of tilting at windmills, and I can’t think of anything more quixotic than seeking to turn around the state GOP’s fortunes after your disastrous leadership. Besides, I could use the money.

While a stridently liberal and foul-mouthed, Democratic blogger like me may not seem like the obvious choice to lead the state GOP to victory, I believe that I would bring to the chairmanship a unique and valuable strategic prospective sorely missing from the lobbyists-in-training and anti-scientific knuckle-draggers who have come to dominate the party’s leadership. For example, I doubt any other candidate is willing to tell the central committee the blunt truth… that state Republicans simply cannot win on the issues… that party leaders are too far out of touch with reality, let alone the mainstream of public opinion, to ever have hopes of gaining a majority.

What would Chairman Goldstein do to change this? Well, I suppose state Republicans could just start listening to voters, but hah… we both know that’s not going to happen. So I suggest that if the GOP wants to avoid achieving permanent minority status, the next chairman is going to have to start playing dirty.

No, stop laughing. I know you think you’ve been playing dirty all along. But I’m talking real dirty. Rolling in the muck, swallowing it, shitting it out, and eating your own excrement dirty. You know… Karl Rove dirty.

The King County GOP’s last-minute voter registration challenge was a good start and all, but the new state chair has to start thinking bigger and, well… dirtier. And if you ask the righties in my comment threads, they’ll tell you there’s nobody more qualified for that job than me.

So here are a few of the proposals and policy initiatives I intend to implement to promote the GOP’s proud agenda, should I be elected the new chairman of the Washington State Republican Party:

Katherine Harris for Secretary of State.
I mean, really… what’s the use of electing a Republican Secretary of State if when it comes to administering close elections, he’s just going to follow the law for chrisakes? Us Republicans need an SOS who understands that party loyalty always comes before petty, bureaucratic dictates like, say, the RCW, the state Constitution, or “personal ethics.” If we’d had a party stalwart like Katherine Harris in charge instead of that pussy Sam Reed, Dino Rossi would be governor today. Hell, with Harris as SOS, Will Baker would likely be State Auditor!

Purge the rolls.
And I don’t just mean the voter registration rolls. I mean every roll that produces any sort of official ID: driver’s licensing, library cards, Costco memberships… you name it. Combine that with a provision that requires photo ID to register to vote, and voila… we’ll have finally cleaned the voter rolls of all those pesky voters.

Institute a Poll Tax.
Man, those Democrats sure do love raising taxes, don’t they? Just dedicate a Poll Tax towards some knee-jerk, liberal, pork barrel, waste-of-money like education or health care for sick children, and those dumb schmucks Frank Chopp and Lisa Brown will do our dirty work for us. The Dems disenfranchising their own voters? It’s like taking candy from a baby… only sweeter.

Lynchings.
Anne Coulter’s got it right. Nothing like hanging a few aging hippies from the Fremont bridge to keep all those uppity liberals in their place.

As you can see, what I lack in party loyalty, conservative ideology, and qualifications, I more than make up for in sheer ruthlessness. I look forward to being invited to participate in a vigorous debate with my fellow candidates, and the opportunity to give the Washington state GOP the kind of leadership it deserves.

Sincerely,

David Goldstein
HorsesAss.org

Whooh. Just got the Friday open thread in before midnight. Have at it.