Goldy

Revelation 9:7-10
The locusts looked like horses prepared for battle. They had what looked like gold crowns on their heads, and their faces looked like human faces. They had hair like women’s hair and teeth like the teeth of a lion. They wore armor made of iron, and their wings roared like an army of chariots rushing into battle. They had tails that stung like scorpions, and for five months they had the power to torment people.

Discuss.

Dear Mayor Ed Murray,

Rumors suggest you might have dropped out of the mayoral race as early as earlier this morning. So do newspaper headlines. Also, your live and prepared statements. In the interests of the city and in making us look concerned about the interests of the survivors of sexual assault, we hope the rumors are true.

To be clear, we really were not paying much attention to Twitter this morning. We’re not proclaiming your guilt or innocence in a civil case alleging you sexually assaulted a teenager in the 1980s. Our conclusion that you should not seek re-election comes in reaction to the news that you are not seeking reelection.

From taking up the cause of raising the minimum wage, to bringing developers and affordable housing advocates to the table, to your groundbreaking work on advancing LGBT equality during your tenure in the state legislature, you’ve made a positive mark on this city and this state.

But now that you are not seeking re-election, we ask that you not seek re-election.

Sincerely,

The Editors*

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*NOTE: Clearly, nobody edits anything here on HA.

1 Samuel 5:6
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon those of Ashdod, and He destroyed them and smote them with hemorrhoids.

Discuss.

1 Samuel 20:30
“You stupid son of a whore!”

Discuss.

One of the original taglines for HA was “an (almost) daily blog on Washington state politics and the press,” and my original intention was to focus mostly on media criticism. I was a child of Watergate who grew up idolizing journalists as defenders of democracy, but my accidental adventure as a subject of media coverage gave me a personal tour into how the sausage was made that left me, well, more than a bit disillusioned.

And thirteen years later, disillusioned I remain:

Republicans and Democrats in Olympia worked hard to produce thoughtful education plans, but both fall short. Trying to spend as little as possible is usually the right thing for them to do. But in this case, it’s likely to prolong the legal fight that’s kept the state in limbo and shortchanged students for decades.

Oh Jesus. First, Republicans and Democrats in Olympia most definitely did not work hard to produce thoughtful education plans. The Republicans were obstructionist as usual, gleefully seeking to use the McCleary crisis to stick it to Seattle homeowners while strategically defunding the rest of state government. There is absolutely nothing thoughtful about their levy-swap smoke and mirrors—it was bullshit when Rob McKenna ran on it, and it is bullshit today. Their only goal is shrinking state government, period, whatever the cost in human misery, because they are a stupid, deceitful, mean-spirited, and profoundly pathological party. (Notice the lack of the word “thoughtful” in that string of adjectives.)

As for the Democrats, I don’t question their motives, but my God could we possibly elect a bigger bunch of fucking cowards? Vote to raise taxes, goddammit—bigly!—and then run on your record of trying to get something the fuck done! You lose elections when you stand for nothing. Try standing for something besides “values” for a change, and you may be pleasantly surprised at the polls.

Second, “trying to spend as little as possible is usually the right thing for them to do”…? Really? Try supporting your goddamn thesis, Brier, instead of laying this steaming turd out there like it’s some undisputed gem of fiscal wisdom! It’s not. It’s a steaming turd. In reality, the big problem in Washington State has long been that we are not spending enough money—on education, on mental health, on our foster care system, on transportation, and on many other crucial public goods and services. And we’re not spending enough money because we’re not raising enough money. Which brings us to the third sentence of this trite piece of editorial fluff:

Um, you know who’s really “shortchanged students for decades,” Brier? Your fucking garbage pit of an editorial board, that’s who!

Yeah, sure, I agree with the main thesis of your column, but you and your fellow editorialists need to take a little personal responsibility. Your publisher and your ed board have aggressively opposed meaningful tax reform for decades, despite being repeatedly confronted with actual math that proved our current funding crisis was inevitable. INEVITABLE, goddammit! Totally unavoidable! We have a structural revenue deficit. It’s baked in to our absurdly antiquated (and cruelly regressive) tax structure. This is what comes from an over-reliance on a sales tax that grows revenue slower than the natural rate of growth of the cost of providing public services at a constant level. There’s no getting around it.

So instead, of vague platitudes and half-hearted half-references to the need for “new taxes,” it’s time for you and your paper to get out in front of this issue and demand that legislators pass an income tax. Because you fucking well know that taxing income is the only option that raises the “ample” funding you claim you want. And while we don’t need you to apologize for the selfishly destructive role your paper has played in creating this crisis, you damn well better acknowledge it if you and your ed board ever want to be taken seriously on budget issues again. (Assuming you ever were.)

Wait. No, actually. Fucking apologize. Because honestly, your paper has been so fucking dishonest on this issue that none of you deserve even an emphysematous whisper of a voice in this debate until you issue an institutional mea culpa for being so goddamn awful for so goddamn long.

And oh, if you think this rant was worded a bit too strong, prove me the fuck wrong.

Proverbs 31:6-7
Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.

Discuss.

Romans 13:6-7
This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Discuss.

1 Timothy 5:11-15
As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.

Discuss.

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Discuss.

No, I don’t plan to blog about this (too busy working on important stuff), but, well, it wouldn’t be right to let the day go by here without at least a little mention:

So, our old friend Tim Eyman (this blog’s namesake) faces a $2 million civil penalty. Which is great and all that. But I must admit to being disappointed that he isn’t facing felony charges. And no, I’m not afraid to publicly assert that I think he committed multiple felonies.

FYI, for those keeping track, I first broke the story that ultimately led to this lawsuit almost five years ago in The Stranger. As for the notion that Timmy was getting kickbacks from signature gatherers, I suggested that back in 2006. So, you know, I told you so.

Matthew 10:8-10
Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give. Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your purses, Nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves: for the workman is worthy of his meat.

Discuss.

Matthew 8:30-32
Not far from there a large herd of pigs was feeding. So the demons begged Jesus, “If you force us out, please send us into those pigs!” Jesus told them to go, and they went out of the men and into the pigs. All at once the pigs rushed down the steep bank into the lake and drowned.

Discuss.

Exodus 22:31
You are to be my holy people. So do not eat the meat of an animal torn by wild beasts; throw it to the dogs.

Discuss.

Psalm 94:4-7
God, the wicked get away with murder—
how long will you let this go on?
They brag and boast
and crow about their crimes!
They walk all over your people, God,
exploit and abuse your precious people.
They take out anyone who gets in their way;
if they can’t use them, they kill them.
They think, “God isn’t looking,
Jacob’s God is out to lunch.”

Discuss.

2 Samuel 13:10-15
And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”

“No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.

Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”

Discuss.