Why anti-government paranoia is so sad

From a blurb in The Columbian:

The U.S. Air Force 304th Rescue Squadron is conducting pilot certification training in Clark County.

On Friday, a Columbian reader reported seeing a black helicopter gunship, which he thought might belong to the CIA, flying low along the East Fork Lewis River just downstream from Daybreak Park.

Look out, it’s the gumbint helicopters practicing to rescue your sorry ass when you fall into a crevasse on an area mountain! Tyranny I tell you!

There are lots of solid reasons to be suspicious of governments, and indeed our democracy depends on a healthy level of skepticism. Being afraid of rescue helicopters and their crews isn’t a solid reason, these are the good women and men who will do almost anything to help those in distress.

But it’s distressingly weird how this kind of pathetic paranoia happens only when a Democrat is in the White House, as the noise machine spreads its cancerous disinformation.

And from a purely practical standpoint, if there are people out there who really think helicopter gunships are ready to descend on Clark County, do they think the small arms they’ve been busily purchasing are going to be effective against gunships? Yeah, I guess thinking things through isn’t a hallmark of the paranoiacs.

Comments

  1. 1

    Lily spews:

    The only thing that makes me feel better is the fact that these lunatics are everywhere, not just here in Vancouver.

    And the comments after the article are totally ragging on the nutter who complained.

  2. 3

    Gman spews:

    Wouldn’t surprise me if these quacks are murderous heterosexuals too, probably even the gumbint people too. What a great society we live in….we strive for perfection but we love to murder at the same time – heterosexual ideology.

  3. 5

    Marvin Stamn spews:

    But it’s distressingly weird how this kind of pathetic paranoia happens only when a Democrat is in the White House, as the noise machine spreads its cancerous disinformation

     
    Jon, I’m glad to see you are out of the coma you endured during the 8 years of bush.
     
    Otherwise, how do you explain your words, “pathetic paranoia happens only when a Democrat is in the White House.”
     
    It wasn’t the right wing that said bush planned 9/11. It wasn’t the right wing that accused bush of using black helicopters. Hell, it wasn’t even an uneducated right-winger that said never before in the history of mankind has fire melted steel on national television.

  4. 7

    czechsaaz spews:

    Can I be ther first cranky bastard to suggest that the next person rescued ought to be billed for all this “training.” I mean those of us who lead comfortable, non-mountain climbin’, kayakless, wilderness hatin’ lives shouldn’t have our tax dollars paying for this. (Cue the chorus to the tune of Money Money, “Your hobby gives such a thrill, you got lost so pay the bill, I need safety, that’s what I want.”)

    Please, God, let at least a few of you smell the scent of irony…

  5. 8

    uptown spews:

    @7 – I think the military considers this training for combat rescue.

    – – – –

    Living in the Puget Sound area (which is just one very big military base) I find the whole black helicopter thing funny. I see so many helicopters fly over, who cares what color they are.

  6. 9

    Michael spews:

    @7

    Most search and rescue ops aren’t for us who hike, kayak and climb, they are for little kids, elderly and regular joes that get lost in woods.

    Some counties are starting to charge when they feel there was gross negligence on the part of the person being rescued.

    I know that insurance for outdoor rec. has been looked at, but I don’t know where we are on that. Personally I think it’s a good idea. Maybe we could fold the insurance cost into the price of all the permits and passes I seem to to have to buy theses days.

  7. 10

    spews:

    And from a purely practical standpoint, if there are people out there who really think helicopter gunships are ready to descend on Clark County, do they think the small arms they’ve been busily purchasing are going to be effective against gunships?

    Shouldn’t be a problem. Black Helicopters are more afraid of cameras.

    Oh and @5? The difference is we treat our 9/11 and Black Helicopter crowd as the sad, pitiful, frightened nobodies they are, you give yours airtime.

  8. 11

    czechsaaz spews:

    See this is what sucks about comments. I can’t make a patently rediculous statement and have everybody recognize that I’m making fun of anti-taxers.

    Even when I all but explicitly say that’s what I’m doing. See you on the trails folks…

  9. 12

    Erich von Lustbader spews:

    The Kennedy’s, MLK, and – what the hell, even George Wallace – were never shot at all. It’s only the crazy conspiracy theorists saying those things.

    Were the people who flew planes into the towers conspirators? I don’t think so.

    It was all done by a disgruntled lone gunman.

  10. 13

    Erich von Lustbader spews:

    re 10: All is not lost! I’m so astute, I can tell the difference between irony and merely being sardonic.

    I saw the irony (I’m only being sardonic).

  11. 14

    Michael spews:

    @10, 12

    Bad posting on my part, I did get the joke and should have carried on in a joking manner.