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The Republican sitcom debate

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I just finished watching the Republican debate. And…Wow!

No, not “wow” about the debate. That was pretty much formula. Political debates have become as formulaic as TV sitcoms. And this debate could be, perhaps, the archetype of political debates. We had a stage full of people who want to be President of the U.S. and they were parroting bullshit lines fed to them by political consultants, designed to invoke an emotion.

Let me explain. As a teen, I was given some bullshit advice about how to win a woman’s heart. “In an early encounter, you must evoke a strong emotion from her. It doesn’t matter if it is pity, or lust, or anger, or fright, or extreme nausea. Just make it extreme. Because later on she’ll only remember that you stirred her passions.” (No…I’m not endorsing the idea….)

Contemporary political consultants must have all heard that same story. That’s what the candidates were doing all evening. Trying to evoke a little anger, patriotism, angst, fear, disgust, etc.—hoping to connect with voters so that the only thing they remember the next morning is how much candidate X stirred their passions.

The problem is, they all did it and it was formulaic. It was generic political sitcom. Tim Pawlenty was transparently engaging in it—he came off as a total buffoon. Michelle Bachmann was just off…she seemed detached and robotic. At one point, coming back from a break, she wasn’t at the podium! She came scurrying back whilst on camera. WHAT. THE. FUCK. (My guess is she was in the middle of a debilitating migraine and puking her guts out in the restroom. But who knows.)

There were two exceptions to the robot-a-thon. Newt Gingrich did less of it than the rest. He seemed much more earnest and analytical in his answers (even if the underlying ideas are lousy).

And Ron Paul was certainly passionate and genuine and honest. After all, madness has it privileges!

None of that was the “wow” part.

The “wow” part was the “Spin Room” post-debate circle-jerk on the FAUX News livestream. (Were they on TV too? Beats me. I don’t have a functioning TV in my house.) The “wow” part is that they said many of the same things about candidates I just articulated. No…worse, they outright savaged each and every one of the candidates. They savaged the debate format. They savaged the questions. They made the excellent point that none of the candidates on the stage inspired people to the point of personal sacrifice and devotion. Its because none of them showed real leadership—just formulaic sitcom bullshit answer after answer.

And so I am in the hugely embarrassing position of agreeing with a panel of fucking FAUX News infotainers, none of whose names I know or even remember. (In fairness…they probably don’t know who I am, either.)

Here’s the thing. Newt would lose because he is a deeply flawed person. Ron Paul would lose because he is a nut-case. And all of the rest of them would lose because they are a “relationship of convenience” to Republican voters. Just like Bob Dole, who was “their guy”. He was ok-ish. “he’ll do.” Blah.

And that’s just not good enough.

What we have on the Republican side is a group of people who desperately want to be President, but haven’t given Republicans a good reason why. George W. Bush got away with the sitcom-like formula, but times were good.

Not so much right now.

Comments

  1. 1

    “Let me explain. As a teen, I was given some bullshit advice about how to win a woman’s heart. ‘In an early encounter, you must evoke a strong emotion from her. It doesn’t matter if it is pity, or lust, or anger, or fright, or extreme nausea. Just make it extreme. Because later on she’ll only remember that you stirred her passions.’ (No…I’m not endorsing the idea….)”

    Nobody ever taught me anything about females. I had to figure out everything on my own. So, when I first met the future Mrs. Rabbit, I did the only thing I could think of which was nothing. After I ignored her for about a year, she finally ran out of patience, and sat on my lap. That was the first I knew anything was going on.

  2. 2

    “I don’t have a functioning TV in my house.”

    I thought I was the only one … so there’s another one out there, and our very own Darryl, no less.

  3. 3

    “What we have on the Republican side is a group of people who desperately want to be President, but haven’t given Republicans a good reason why.”

    What’s really scary is this leaves the door wide open for Rick Perry to be a galvanizing figure.

  4. 4

    Nice, Darryl. Our country is crazy right now, totally fucking loony tunes. When people like Rick Perry and Sarah Palin, neither of whom ever got an A-grade in their sorry lives, feel fit to tell Barack Obama how they know more than he does about the Constitution, economics, and just what’s what, yet are taken seriously as presidential candidates, we have a problem. The GOP candidates are buffoons, every single one of them. Obama, despite his flaws, is an adult. None of his erstwhile opponents is.

  5. 5

    What the hell has happened to the Republican Party? How is it that the public keeps getting subjected to these quasi candidates some of which are marginally qualified to hold public office let alone President of our country. The last thing we need is Rick Perry, father of tort reform and friend of Bob the Builder-which is where all that shit started. Who keeps fronting these incredibly expensive campaigns for non viable candidates? Sort of like trying to defeat the Taliban without cutting off the money stream.

  7. 7

    @6 I don’t think anyone can breathe easy. In this environment absolutely anything could happen.

  8. 8

    5
    Successful democracy requires reasoned opposition. We don’t have that today. We have shitloads of money pouring into both sides of the political divide, and money determines all nowadays. No middle class or poor person should vote Republican, but the politics of fear that Lee Atwater and Karl Rove have perfected get dumbshits to vote against their own interests everyday. And, this country may be going down as a result. May
    God have mercy upon us.

  9. 9

    @3. Roger Rabbit spews:
    “What we have on the Republican side is a group of people who desperately want to be President, but haven’t given Republicans a good reason why.”
    What’s really scary is this leaves the door wide open for Rick Perry to be a galvanizing figure.
    ———————–
    You should be scared. We’ll see how he does outside of Texas, but this could turn out to be another ’80.

  10. 10

    @9 If it turns out to be anything, it’ll be another ’00 — except this Texan, although no less perfidious or wingwacko, is a little smarter and a lot less stoned.

  11. 11

    Here’s an argument that, even after this week’s massive selloffs, the U.S. stock market still isn’t cheap.

    http://www.economist.com/blogs.....-markets-0

    Roger Rabbit Commentary: This article emphasizes what I’ve been saying all week, that current P/E ratios are nearly meaningless, and you have to value stocks according to forward P/Es that assume weaker future earnings. But this market isn’t cheap by any metric. I’ve gone from 1% cash in January to about 35% cash now, and I may sell more stock on a market bounce, if there is one. The shit hasn’t hit the fan in Europe yet, but it sure as hell is going to.

  12. 12

    @9 Why should I be scared of Republicans? I invest like a Republican, so if a Republican wins in 2012, I’ll profit from it like a Republican.

  13. 13

    Actually, it’s a joke to call what I do “investing.” I’m a lot of things — speculator, profiteer, stock flipper — but “investor” ain’t one of ’em. I play the zero-sum game.

  15. 15

    I think the Fox savagery of the declared candidates is indeed all about preparing the field for Perry.
    He’s gonna be their man – and that mere fact is terrifying and speaks to the utter insanity and moral bankruptcy of the right wing of American politics.

  16. 16

    Perry’s in!

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

    With Washington gripped in deadlock between two starkly opposed visions of what the role of government should be, both sides agree that it will take the upcoming presidential election to decide the fight.

    Now, into this clash steps Rick Perry, whose candidacy promises to draw the lines between the parties more sharply than ever.

    The Texas governor, who is expected to announce his run for president on Saturday in South Carolina, offers the potential for the clearest contrast with President Obama of governing approaches, whether Perry ultimately claims his party’s nomination or not.

    Guess that puts a monkey wrench in his plans for Texas to susceed from the union.

  19. 19

    The fact-checkers found, unsurprisingly, that the Republican debators pretty much made things up to support their arguments. An example:

    “RICK SANTORUM: “The problem is that we have spending that has exploded. The government’s averaged 18 percent of GDP as the percentage of the overall economy. … And we’re now at almost 25 percent. Revenues are down about 2 or 3 percent. So if you look at where the problem is, the problem is in spending, not taxes.”

    THE FACTS: The former Pennsylvania senator might have been mixing statistics on federal spending with federal revenue. The White House budget office has estimated that federal spending this year will equal about 25 percent of the country’s $15 trillion economy — the highest proportion since World War II. But federal spending has averaged nearly 22 percent since 1970. In fact, federal spending has not been as low as 18 percent since 1966. Since the 1970s, federal revenues have averaged nearly 19 percent of the U.S. economy. This year’s revenues are expected to equal just over 14 percent of the economy, the lowest level since 1950.”

    Fact check: Sorting out claims in Republican debate

  20. 20

    @1,

    When she sat on your lap, did you both talk about the first thing that “popped up?”

  23. 23

    Test post – having trouble

  24. 24

    OK, hope this works:

    Slightly OT, though given the avowed ‘defense of marriage’ with this crowd of Christianist nitwits, and Bachmann’s, um, situation, er, marriage, or whatever, this is funny:

    (go to dailykos.com and see Horace Boothroyd III’s diary) (cannot post links)

    Yet another homophobe Rethug closet case – what is with these people?

  25. 25

    for some reason I cannot post links

  26. 26

    Do you think Marcus Bachmann could help this poor lost soul pray away teh gay?

  29. 29

    Steve,

    I agree… This Hinkle moron needs to go! Craig’s List?

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