The horror

The biggest impact of the Andromeda strain swine flu on Americans so far is to render television “news” shows even more unwatchable than they already were. Swine flu swine flu swine flu swine flu, good morning, swine flu swine flu swine flu, back to you!

Fifty degrees and swine flu, rained out and swine flu.

Maybe the octomom will marry a Somali pirate who got a DUI in So Cal while auditioning for American Idol, it would be a comparative blessing.

Probably the best preparedness for individuals would be a stack of DVD’s and books, and tons of canned soup. Or you could panic and try to hoard things like prescription medicines intended for people who actually get the flu, that would really add to the overall merriment.


  1. 1

    Piper Scott spews:

    Or be like Rep. Erick Massa, D – N.Y., who has called for a closure of the Mexican border until the swine flu crisis has passed.

    What do you know? A Democrat wanting restrictions on the border in order to control it – miracles do happen.

    The Piper

  2. 2

    Politically Incorrect spews:

    In a few weeks, this story will be over. The news people are just blabbing about it so they can sell air time to advertisers.

    Wash your hands, cover your mouth when you sneeze of cough, and avoid people who are sick. If you’re sick, stay home. Following these steps will be the best thing to defeat the swine flu.

  3. 3

    Statistics and Damn Statistics spews:


    * Swine Flu
    * SARs
    * West Nile Virus
    * Anthrax
    * Killer bee’s
    * Butter

  4. 4

    Sir Eustace Tennyson D'Eyncourt spews:

    the federal govt will milk this story for all its worth…..

    We will be told fantastic stories of how universal health care would have prevented the swine flu epidemic. (rolls eyes)

    Every time someone from the white house mentions “swine flu”, I can feel my wallet getting lighter…what a bunch of bullshit.

  5. 5

    Mr. Cynical spews:

    Actually, our biggest horror is our idiot President and his lack of control:

    White House Official Apologizes for Air Force One Photo Op in New York City
    Numerous buildings in lower Manhattan evacuated in a panic during this morning’s false alarm

    What idiocy!
    The buck stops with OBAMA!

  6. 7

    Mr. Cynical spews:

    Here is what Chucky Schumer (DEMOCRAT-NY) said:

    “All those little porky things that the House put in, the money for the [National] Mall or the sexually transmitted diseases or the flu pandemic, they’re all out,” Schumer said.

    Hey KLOWNS, aren’t you a little ticked at YOUR boy Schumer. He’s not a right-winger and BTW HE HAS POWER!!

    Grow up KLOWNS. Your anti-Christian hot rhetoric is way too often hollow.
    Blame your boy Schumer.

  7. 10

    WatchmanOnTheWall spews:

    I wonder has anyone been dianosed with it within those that post here?

    I heard you could tell immediatly that you have it, because you want to snort and roll in the mud.