It’s been a while since our all-time favorite troll, Scott St. Clair (AKA The Crackpiper) has given me some good material for a post, but he’s been writing columns now at places like Crosscut and the Kirkland Reporter, and his insane and nonsensical ramblings have once again caught my eye. Here’s a recap of two of his latest efforts in unintentional comedy.
The Smallest Scandal in the World
As a “General interest columnist” for the Kirkland Reporter, Crackpiper appears to be carrying quite a bit of water for the effort by Toby Nixon to unseat popular first-term Legislator Roger Goodman. As regular readers here know, I’m a strong supporter of Goodman, so this article was sent along to me:
Is state Rep. Roger Goodman deliberately trying to throw his re-election effort? Judged by a review of his campaign website and brochure, you have to ask the question given the ethical concerns they raise.
Oh my! In what egregious and unforgivable way has Goodman violated the public’s trust?
Looking at Goodman’s website and clicking on the Legislation tab (where citizens interested in learning about his Olympia track record would go first), you will find several photographs of him that look to be clear violations of state campaign laws.
Pictures of Goodman inside a police car, a police communications center, standing beside what looks to be a Kirkland police car with what clearly is a Kirkland police officer are, if they’re what they lead us to believe they are, clearly improper and unlawful.
Additionally, there is a picture of Goodman reading to some kids. What can be wrong with reading to kids? Nothing per se, unless the picture was taken inside a public school, in which case it then becomes the improper use of a public facility for campaign purposes.
Awesome! I’m not sure what’s funnier, the fact that there’s a law preventing this, that people like Crackpiper actually get worked up about violations of it and think that someone would care, or that the Kirkland Reporter printed this goofiness from someone they refer to as a “General interest columnist.” What’s even funnier, though, is that Toby Nixon has been the focus of a real campaign ethics issue from 2006, which was reported on last week by a real political reporter:
There were also 13 Republican legislative candidates who were given in-kind contributions they say they didn’t know about. At least most said they didn’t know anything about the work done on their behalf. Toby Nixon, who lost his 2006 race for state Senate, told PDC staff he was aware of the contribution. The staff report says:
However, in the confusion of closing a campaign and without the information from the WSRP the reporting of the contribution was overlooked.
Why didn’t the party tell the candidates the money had been spent? No one could really answer that question for the PDC staff. Party officials said they believe the notices to the candidates were prepared, “but they have been unable to locate copies of those notices.”
But hey, at least he didn’t have pictures of himself with a firefighter on his website. That would really make me question his ethics.
Sarah Palin is the Hockey Mom in Everyone
Crackpiper’s latest effort in Crosscut is extraordinary. It’s jaw dropping. But it does give some excellent insight into why Sarah Palin was picked to be on the ticket. Palin is a true believer in the things that make wingnuttia what it is. She’s anti-choice. She believes in letting children figure out sex on their own. She has no knowledge or understanding of foreign policy. She questions evolution and global warming. And she can be a massive hypocrite without flinching.
All of these things initially made me agree with Geov that it was a smart pick. She was a popular choice among wingnut bloggers and her ability to win the Governorship of Alaska was proof that she was viable. But my god, too much stuff has been coming out now and I’m not so convinced any more. She’s far nuttier than I realized. Plus, the scrutiny she’s facing is far more intense than anything she’s had to go through in Alaska (which has 1/3 the population of King County), and I can’t wait to see her have to debate Joe Biden. Yikes.
The selection of Palin and how the national reaction has been playing out is probably the best indication of how much wingnuts like Crackpiper have become severed from reality. Here’s the introduction to his latest Crosscut column:
The Alaska governor is dead center in the mainstream of middle class American life, argues a conservative Crosscut contributor.
Wow. Fasten your seat belts folks. We’re going to wander through the mind of a very deluded individual…
In my wildest dreams, I never imagined that my heart-of-hearts choice for vice president would be picked. But she was. And it was Sen. John McCain’s selection of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate, not Sen. Barack Obama’s convention acceptance speech, that was the talk of last Friday morning, Aug. 29, and through the Labor Day weekend.
Considering that 40 million people watched Barack Obama’s convention acceptance speech, and that most the news about Palin over the weekend was negative, I’m not sure how that observation passes the laugh test. But at the very least, this helps explain to anyone who hasn’t read the previous parts in this series how St. Clair earned his nickname – you really have to be smoking crack to believe some of this stuff.
And the talk has been good.
Except, of course, among many mainstream media pundits, Democrat partisans, and MSNBC, the all-Obama, all-the-time cable network that seems positively confounded by the choice.
And everyone else in the country who thought that McCain was going to make a serious pick.
A hockey mom, up-from-the-ranks political figure, mother of five (including a newborn special-needs child), whose commercial fisherman, union-member husband now is more of a stay-at-home dad, Palin’s dead center in the mainstream of middle class American life.
She would be, if it weren’t for her off-the-wall political views. Wanting creationism taught in schools is not mainstream. Wanting sex-ed removed from schools in not mainstream. And being against a woman’s right to choose is certainly not mainstream.
That her oldest son, 19-year-old Track, is a soldier on his way next month to Iraq only makes her that much more appealing — she’s got one of her own in harm’s way. As the father of two in the military, it means a lot to me to have our leaders in the same boat.
So does Joe Biden. I’m looking forward to the debates to see which one of them understands the situation that their son was sent into better.
This whole column is too long and way too nutty so I’ll just cut to the funniest parts.
Palin is also appealing as a reformer, having taken on the entrenched Republican establishment in Alaska on everything from energy to earmarks. With her record of reform and overturning the tables of Alaska’s political moneychangers, she’s a genuine instrument of change.
And she came out foursquare against the poster child for earmarks, the “bridge to nowhere,” a pet project of another Republican, Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens.
Crackpiper apparently hasn’t been following much of the revelations that have been coming out about Palin in recent days. It turns out that Palin was for the infamous “Bridge to Nowhere” earmark when she was running for Governor. And as Laura McGann at the Washington Independent points out, “reform” in Alaska is clearly a relative term.
As soon as she was inaugurated, gone were the state trooper security detail, the private cooks, and the private jet — Governor Palin drives her own car, something Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels might care to emulate.
And gone was the public safety commissioner, who refused to fire a state trooper for Palin over a family squabble (also gone was her willingness to testify about it).
Contrast her willingness to quit a high-paying job over matters of principle and integrity to Obama’s unwillingness to quit a church with a fulminating anti-American pastor until intense media scrutiny and increasing public pressure forced his hand.
Hey, I’m glad he brought that up because Palin was once involved with the Alaska Independence Party, a political group that challenged Alaska’s statehood and wants to secede from the United States. I’m not sure how that’s any less “anti-American” than the things that Jeremiah Wright has said, but maybe Crackpiper can try to wrap his head around that one.
As the failure of the Bush Administration has finally exposed the gaping flaws in how modern-day conservatives approach governing, the true believers like Crackpiper will continue to insist that they are the American center rather than a fringe subset of American society. Sarah Palin was the VP choice for this group of nuts, and a woman who became Governor of a state that she may or may not have thought should still be part of the United States. Of course, she’ll now abandon whatever secessionist ideas she ever had, just as she found it politically useful to oppose the “Bridge to Nowhere” now that she needs people outside of Alaska to vote for her. And while nearly everyone is wondering what the hell is going on with the McCain campaign that they could have picked someone like this, Crackpiper will be going to the polls in November convinced that Sarah Palin is the key to McCain’s victory. Seriously, I need some of what that guy’s smoking.