Survey: majority of Washington voters oppose reality

Olympia, WA, September 15 — Washington Secretary of State Sam Reed released the results of an “unscientific survey” of 704 voters, finding that 79% oppose the state’s new partisan primary. The state’s popular “blanket primary”, which allowed voters to choose candidates in either party, was recently ruled unconstitutional.

Secretary Reed, an outspoken critic of change, said he was unsurprised by the results after his office received thousands of angry phone calls and emails, apparently demanding the state violate the constitution.

Other results from the survey reveal that 68% of voters oppose paying taxes, while 72% want dramatically higher spending on roads, health care and education. 62% of voters prefer no taxes and higher government spending.

74% of voters support a free lunch, and 82% want to have their cake and eat it too.

Surprisingly, only 34% of those surveyed favor a controversial initiative that would ban death, although support climbs dramatically when the proposed language includes a Monkey’s Paw provision.

When asked for comment, professional initiative panderer Tim Eyman blamed the human condition on King County Executive Ron Sims and his “Cadillac Council”, claiming that the survey represents the “final nail in the coffin of, uh… coffins.”

Representatives of the undertakers lobby were not available for comment.


  1. 2

    Goldy spews:

    Eric, while I obviously share your amusement at the public indignation over the demise of the blanket primary, I can\’t join your cynical support for I-872. The two parties are in many ways meek and frightened (well… certainly the Democrats) and I sincerely doubt they will back up their threat to pull the primary entirely. Plus, a top-two primary is pretty much the same as telling third parties like the Greens — and their evil doppelgangers, the Libertarians — to simply go fuck themselves. (Not that I\’m not often tempted tell them to go fuck themselves myself.) Personally, I\’m just so disgusted over this issue, that I\’ve become a total convert to Instant Runoff Voting.

    By the way, I liked your blog. But now I\’ve got to get you back by leaving a plug for there.

  2. 3

    Damnaged spews:

    In reguards to the \”86% (of Wa. voters) want to have their cake and eat it too\” , I do believe Cartman from South Park had a nice little quote on this subject. I\’ll dig it up and share! I think everybody will enjoy…\’cept the right wing wackos.

  3. 4


    While I agree that the parties are meek, what, exactly, is the downside for the parties in pulling out of the primaries? Washington Republicans, in particular, cannot afford any more unelectable candidates winning the nomination. The old primary rules saddled them with Ellen Craswell, and under the \”top-two\” we could easily get two Democrats in the general.

  4. 5

    Goldy spews:

    The point is, I don\’t think the parties will pull out of a top-two primary…. they risk pissing off a large portion of the electorate. So we\’ll either be stuck with that lame-ass top-two system, or more likely, it will get thrown out too, and voters will get even angrier.

    If I-872 passes (and it will) there will be an unhappy ending regardless.

  5. 6


    Sure they\’ll piss off the electorate, but so what? It won\’t be enough to permanently alienate them; at worst, the independents will just stop voting in primaries, which will become de facto closed primaries.

    As weak as the parties are, I see no incentive for them to accept the top-two primary, and plenty of incentives for them to pull out.