State GOP elects a pulled-pork sandwich party chair

In what can only be called the upset political victory of the year, Diane Tebelius was defeated in a vote of 71-43 for the position of party chair. The winner? A pulled-pork sandwich from Seattle area restaurant Longhorn Barbeque.

While the biggest challenge to Tebelius was thought to come from former state Senator Luke Esser, the sandwich from Seattle was able to convince wavering delegates that was time for a different form of leadership.

“I don’t care if he’s from Seattle, that sandwich has what it takes,” said Earl Murtt from Tonasket.

“The GOP got whomped last year. I figure a hamburger bun stuffed with delicious meat could get out the vote better than (Tebelius and Esser),” said Fay Wingenhauser from Liberty Lake.

Some aren’t excited that the Washington State Republican Party will be lead by an entrée. Former chair Chris Vance said, “I know a sandwich sounds good, but will it be able to appeal to swing voters in the suburbs?” State Senator Pam Roach had questions too. “I’ll do what I can to work with the sandwich, but as we all know, savory meats have a well-known liberal bias. Who’s hungry for that? Certainly not me”

Not every Republican insider was as skeptical. Radio host (and 2000 candidate for governor) John Carlson noted, “When I ran for governor, I was told- repeatedly, by great numbers of people- than a potted plant had a better chance to unseat Gov. Gary Locke. While a pulled-pork sandwich doesn’t have the media skills of a ficus, I’m excited to see what the little guy can do.”

Visit Horse’s Ass in the next several days for an exclusive interview with the pulled-pork sandwich.

For other updates on the pulled-pork sandwich, visit Longhorn Barbeque.


  1. 1


    aren’t you offending all the vegans right now, will?
    aren’t you worried that by offending them, some new legislation will HAVE to be passed to protect vegans from pulled pork sandwiches?
    from the very mention of them???
    welcome to the brave new world of liberal big bro…..

  2. 5

    RightEqualsStupid spews:

    “It was a terrible year, and people are looking for a way to make sure that never happens again,” Esser said…

    Pretty much sums it up. When a right wing coward admits it was a terrible year for the GOP you KNOW it was a terrible year! HE HE!

  3. 6


    @ 5

    Exactly! That’s why the GOP, if they were smart, they look for a new leader…

    …a bun who’ll fight for lowering taxes, filled by meat that will stand up for American values.

    Pulled-Pork Sandwich for Chair!!

  4. 7

    Felix Fermin spews:

    It doesn’t surprise me that the Longhorn pulled-pork sandwich is a Republican. Longhorn has a Hummer painted with their company logo, and it is often seen in south King County parades with Republican candidate placards all over it. That’s why I won’t eat at Longhorn.

  5. 8

    Kiroking spews:


    I bet you don’t eat at Mcdonalds, BurgerKing, Wendy’s, or Pizza Hut. I also bet you don’t bank at BOA or Wamu. These are all big Corporations, just in it for the money. Imagine that.

  6. 9

    Felix Fermin spews:

    Right on, Kiroking. I bank at a CU and only eat fast food in a pinch.

    Of course they’re in it for the money. God bless ‘em. But some companies demonstrate through their actions that they support one party over another. I take pride in avoiding the ones that are clearly supporting folks and policies I disagree with.

  7. 10

    Ira Sacharoff spews:

    Y’know, I’m pretty obsessed with BBQ, and Longhorn just ain’t that great.
    Is that the best they can come up with?
    It’s the sandwich equivalent of John McCain.