Safe sex, fundie style

Although investigators have ruled the death of Montgomery Alabama minister Gary Aldridge a case of “accidental mechanical asphyxia,” the faithful are convinced it was murder. Why? Well, the Liberty University graduate and former Jerry Falwell aide was found hogtied in his home. And wearing a wet suit… and a face mask, a head mask, diving gloves and slippers, and rubberized underwear. And, an entire second wet suit.

Yup, sounds like murder to me. You know, except the part about the two wet suits and various diving paraphernalia. Not to mention the dildo up his ass.

And if Montgomery’s fundie community wasn’t scandalized enough, just wait until they find out the dildo was wearing a condom. Now that’s a sin.

Comments

  1. 1

    spyder spews:

    my favorite line in the report: two ties, five belts, eleven straps. Now that is some serious submission to domination; he must have had a great deal to repent. Torquemada would have been proud.

  2. 2

    spews:

    My favorite line was:

    Personal Effects: One metal yellow ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo.

    I guess he had a different interpretation for “Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.”

  3. 3

    Another TJ spews:

    In fairness to the fundie community and their murder speculation, the posts you linked to were mainly from the time of his death (late June), and the Smoking Gun only posted the autopsy report Oct. 8.

    For an entertaining read, check out the comments section to this:

    http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/7433.html

  4. 5

    Another TJ spews:

    Awww… don’t ask me to be fair to the fundie community. It ruins the fun.

    A fair point.

    Though, it’s probable there are still those who believe he was murdered, especially given the local paper’s “He-was-found-hogtied-and-asphyxiated-but-it-wasn’t-murder-and-that’s-all-you-really-want-to-know—trust-us” story.

  5. 6

    Broadway Joe spews:

    This reminds me of something I read several years ago. Shannen Doherty (90210, Charmed) once told Playboy (if I remember correctly) that she preferred to date Republicans because “they spend all day being repressed, so they can’t wait to come home and just fuck like animals.”

    And that was over ten years ago. Who knew? Repression on the surface usually leads to perversion beneath it. Either that, or this guy was a big INXS fan…….

  6. 7

    Daddy Love spews:

    I just think that the really extended prep time would ruin it for me…

    Whatever happened to just using good ol’ porn? And who has two wet suits?

  7. 9

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    If he was murdered, another fundie pervert murdered him, because people like him don’t have sex with liberals. Ann Coulter has sex with liberals, though.

  8. 10

    Roger Rabbit spews:

    Speaking of Ann Coulter, she’s in the news today for Jew-baiting. But then … what can you expect from a NAZI?

    “Ann Coulter Says Jews Need ‘Perfecting’

    “Posted Oct 11th 2007 2:39PM by Ada Calhoun

    “This week on the CNBC show The Big Idea, Ann Coulter said everyone on earth should be Christian and that Jews needed to be ‘perfected.’ She suggested that Jews basically just need a tune-up to get on what Coulter referred to ‘the fast track.'”

    http://news.aol.com/newsblogge.....0000000001

  9. 11

    Kinkos spews:

    um, aren’t sex toys and similar paraphenalia outlawed in alabama? i thought i saw a story recently to the effect that sex toys and businesses that sell them are illegal in alabama (due to a law enacted just a few years ago)

  10. 13

    My Left Foot spews:

    Is the rubberized Rev a friend or acquaintance of Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

  11. 15

    spews:

    Christmasghost,

    do you really think that it portrays most christians?

    It seems pretty clear from Goldy’s post that he doesn’t believe this guy represents all fundies. Obviously, under such an assumption, he would not have written “[a]nd if Montgomery’s fundie community wasn’t scandalized enough…”

    Dumb shit!

  12. 17

    Don Joe spews:

    Ghost,

    I think Goldy’s pointing out problems at the leadership level, not in the rank-and-file membership. And there certainly seems to have been a long line of evangelical Christian leaders who’ve been exposed for hypocrisy: Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart and, more recently, Ted Haggart and Richard Roberts.

    Doesn’t it make you wonder when the followers of these guys are going to stop listening to these kinds of charismatic leaders tell them what the Bible means and start trying to figure out what it means for themselves?

  13. 18

    Broadway Joe spews:

    Amen, DJ. The problem isn’t necessarily the kink, it’s the fear-induced inability to own up to your own sexual peccadilloes. But the irony to be found here is most delicious. How much time, energy, money and fury was spent by the Right upon Bill Clinton getting a little trim on the side? Considering Rev. Aldridge’s ultimately fatal kink, Clinton was Ward Cleaver by comparison. And yes, that means he probably was a little hard on the beaver (with a Cohiba, no less!).

    Unfaithfulness is one thing (albeit a common one), but autoerotic asphyxiation PLUS rubber PLUS the dildo (in a rubber) in the shitter? Even my friend who’s into BDSM thinks that’s a bit much. But fear kept him in the closet, no doubt hanging from a coat hanger (ba-dum-bum). But who’s to say that Rev. Aldridge would never have found some acceptance? That’s the tragedy.

  14. 19

    jsa on commercial drive spews:

    I’d just like to say Day-uhm!!

    If I had known as a young delinquent that conservatives were doing stuff that we could never have dreamed up in our craziest absinthe and cocaine-induced frenzies…

    Well… I’d still be on this blog, but arguing from far right field instead.

    There’s a serious point to this though. There are some pretty wrong things you can do involving sex. Leaving your wife to run off with the secretary? Completely wrong. Abandoning your children to go off and get nookie? I’m unambiguously again’ it. Damaging your partner’s physical or emotional health because you are off whoring and can’t wrap it? Wrong wrong wrong! (I’m not a big fan of whoring in the first place, but bringing nasties home is beyond the pale).

    What weirdness two or three or four consenting adults get into with the full knowledge and consent of their partner? None of my damn business.

    Puritan morality has intentionally confused the line between some pretty clear moral “thou shalt nots” and a lot of behavior which is unorthodox, but harmless. Repression breeds furtive, unhealthy behavior.

    Thus leaving the late Mr. Aldridge not knowing that while latex and plugs are fine, breath play is not safe under any circumstances.

  15. 21

    spews:

    don joe@17….yes, it does make me wonder when people will stop listening to these people.one of my neighbors had the best line. she is very religious but never in anyone’s face about it….it’s just her personal beliefs. and she said “if it weren’t for some christians everyone would be one”
    truer words were never spoken……..

    sad to say but there doesn’t seem to be alot of honesty or moderation in these people’s lives.it’s not religion [although i am not a fan of organized religion myself] that is bad it’s what people do with it. if you are going to be a homophobic creep and then do what this guy did behind the scenes then you are BEYOND an appalling hypocrite.
    and if you look at the backgrounds of most serial killers they always seem to have an over the top religious figure [mom or dad or both] in their lives. and ,let’s face it, most religions are based on the “fact” that women are evil and need to be controlled by men…..and therein lies the big problem.
    we may be evil [LOL] but any sense of control any of you guys get…..it’s all in your head.
    i ,personally, don’t get why anyone would listen to any of these people.but there seem to be alot of them out there….