 Jack “the Magic Genie” Turk, and his running-mate Doodle |
For weeks now, Snohomish County Republicans have built up the suspense surrounding their “secret candidate” to challenge County Executive Aaron Reardon. Um… now we know why they kept it such a secret.
Jack “the Magic Genie” Turk announced his candidacy at the Snohomish GOP convention last night, where he was “unanimously anointed” the party’s nominee. Turk told his fellow Republicans he wasn’t afraid of losing, which, while a perfectly realistic perspective, doesn’t exactly make for a compelling fundraising pitch.
“I’m certainly different. I’m definitely out of nowhere,” said Turk, 50, of Snohomish. “I’ll make my appearances fun.”
Yeah, well, as long as he shows up at events wearing a sequined turban and carrying his bird puppet, “Doodle,” I think we’ll all have a little fun with this campaign.
Turk is a former Microsoft technical writer, program manager, and group manager, and, you guessed it… a professional magician, who performs up to 20 shows a month, mostly for children. No wonder he wowed the folks at the county convention.
Earlier this week (un)Sound Politics Eric Earling speculated about the identity of the secret candidate, posting six tantalizing clues based on details provided by County GOP Chair Ger Modrell. Surprisingly, none of the biographical facts had anything to do with magic tricks or puppets, leading Eric to post the following wise piece of analysis:
Fact Six: His current business’s core focus is enabling individuals to achieve their dreams of success. Isn’t that the kind of leader we’re looking for?
Uh-huh.
It’ll take a magician for the R’s to pull this election out of a hat. As one political wag put it: “And we thought incumbents had it easy in King County…”
UPDATE:
Eric informs me that I misread his post. The Six Facts were a copy and paste from a GOP press release, not Eric’s own analysis. So it is the Snohomish County GOP who deserves my ridicule, not Eric. My apologies.
“Turk is a former Microsoft technical writer, program manager, and group manager”
AKA a former Microsoft Executive ( Thanks Darcy )
See how he is not running for congress?
C’mon Darcy RUN! You’ve got another year of experience as the President of the Ames Lake Club, That makes you a lock!
Besides Reardon has done a pretty good job.
Microsoft group manager? His resume is the same as Darcy’s. That means he has “no experience” and “no qualifications” for public office, and should stay home to raise his fake bird.
Betcha They’re Republicans
“Wealthy Couple Charged With Slavery
“By FRANK ELTMAN
“AP
“GARDEN CITY, N.Y. (May 24) – A millionaire couple accused of keeping two Indonesian women as slaves in their luxurious Long Island home and abusing them for years have been indicted on federal slavery charges. …
The two were arrested last week after one of their servants was found wandering outside a doughnut shop on Long Island, wearing only pants and a towel. The woman was believed to have fled the home when she took the trash out the night before. …
“The women, prosecutors said, were subjected to beatings, had scalding water thrown on them and were forced to repeatedly climb stairs as punishment for perceived misdeeds … one of the women was forced to eat 25 hot chili peppers at one time … they were forced to sleep on mats in the kitchen and were fed so little, they had to steal food.”
Quoted under Fair Use; for complete story and/or copyright info see http://tinyurl.com/22plzu
Roger Rabbit Commentary: Why do I think they’re Republicans? Because no Democrat would ever think s/he had a right to own another person or treat human beings like farm animals. The wingfuck trolls who like to pretend there’s no difference between Republicans and Democrats are lying — there’s a world of difference in ATTITUDE.
“Surprisingly, none of the biographical facts had anything to do with …”
… running a county government.
Unsurprisingly, the GOP nominated a clown to run a county government. This is not at all surprising, given the local GOP’s long track record of nominating clowns to run for public offices.
Running clowns for public office may seem innocuous. After all, clowns are funny and love little kids, right? Well, just consider the damage done by the clown sitting in the White House. And don’t forget this guy was a clown, too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wayne_Gacy
Ugh! Even I think that jab was a LOW BLOW!! But what the fuck … Republicans feel they have a right to sic swiftboaters on us … so they’ve got it coming.
No mercy for wingnuts.
Hey wingfucks!!! When your side stops kicking our candidates in the nuts, I’ll stop too. Let me know when you’re ready to negotiate.
This is the best these fools can do? No wonder we run the Statehouse!
As I recall, John Wayne Gacy was a Republican.
John Wayne Gacy was a Democrat, But we fried his ass any way.
Are saying being a clown disqualifies one from public office?
If so, please explain: Kennedy, Pelosi, Murtha and closer to home: Ron Sims???
10 No. Only if one’s last name is “Rossi”.
“Running clowns for public office may seem innocuous. After all, clowns are funny and love little kids, right? Well, just consider the damage done by the clown sitting in the White House. And don’t forget this guy was a clown, too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J ohn_Wayne_Gacy ”
Roger Rabbit ladies and gentlemen,
Spewing all that he says he abhores….
Typical for a lib though. HYPOCRITS
How’s that “blue wave” working for you extreme libs anyhow?
Ran on a ticket that they would bring the troops home….
guess they lied about that one too….
Oh and lobbying reform or pork cutbacks? ain’t gonna happen either… HYPOCRITS
Oh and who has been running this state for EVER? Especially Western WA?????
Liberals…..
HYPOCRITS
Roger Rabbit says:
Microsoft group manager? His resume is the same as Darcy’s. That means he has “no experience” and “no qualifications” for public office, and should stay home to raise his fake bird.
Well at least we agree on this one….
He has no chance and she has no chance…
@12 “Roger Rabbit ladies and gentlemen, Spewing all that he says he abhores….”
You’re absolutely right, RS — my game is to adopt all the vile tactics of the Far Right … and shove them right back up your rightwing asses! How’s that castor oil taste when YOU have to drink it, numbnuts?
@12 Don’t forget, I used to be a Goldwater conservative, and I was trained by Republicans.
“Sam Adams says:
Are saying being a clown disqualifies one from public office?
If so, please explain: Kennedy, Pelosi, Murtha and closer to home: Ron Sims???”
Can you produce a photo of the Democrats you just mentioned dressed in garb resembling YOUR klown?
@12 Mimicking you guys to teach you what it’s like to be on the getting end of what your side does isn’t hypocrisy — it’s “education.”
ArtFart says:
10 No. Only if one’s last name is “Rossi”.
05/24/2007 at 2:57 pm
Oh SNAP!
Well I guess that put me in my place now doesn’t it?
Where’s his big red wheeze?
re 18 “Oh SNAP!” Cute. But very derivitive.
@13 “He has no chance and she has no chance…”
As a rank beginner, she got within 2% of Reichert last time, and next time she’ll be riding an even bigger Democratic wave. In addition, now that Reichert is a member of the permanent minority party in Congress and has no chance of chairing a committee or passing legislation, some 8th District voters may decide to rethink whether they want to participate in the nation’s governance or sit on the sidelines like they’re doing right now.
Just stay complacent, RS, just stay complacent; and get all your GOP friends to stay complacent about the 8th C.D. too …
@16 We don’t have any presidential candidates who dress in drag. Can’t say the same for you.
@20 I thought a “derivative” was something that (a) wingnuts can’t spell, and (b) a financial instrument GOP crooks use to rip off investors and pension funds.
Wingfucks can’t spell “hypocrites” either. Hell, they can’t even spell “Democrats.” Some of them can’t even their own fucking names!
emily littela says: “Can you produce a photo of the Democrats you just mentioned dressed in garb resembling YOUR klown?” 05/24/2007 at 3:08 pm
Not needed. Just listen to what they say and look at what they do.
I’m not giving a pass to the Repubs who also have clowns in office.
The Repubs don’t get as hyper over being ribbed about it as the “tolerant” and “open minded” folks here do.
Honestly, it wouldn’t so much fun if your heads didn’t spin around like that.
If you’ve ever wondered what happens to the 33% of public school students who drop out … they get $2.13 an hour jobs and become Republicans.
Roger Rabbit says: @16 We don’t have any presidential candidates who dress in drag. Can’t say the same for you.
05/24/2007 at 3:12 pm
HEY!
You guyz are supposed to be all progressive and tolerant and stuff.
What’s up with that?
Clowns? Clowns? Who’s laughing?
re 25: Yes. Republicans just take it all calmly and BAN critics from commenting.
You Smug Asshole.
I can always tell a Republican by that smug, pickle-up-their-ass smirk on their puss.
______________________
Still having fun?
Dosen’t everyone think Roger would look good in a nice little Wal-Mart vest and a cute little bowtie, greeting shoppers to the local Wal-Mart store?
Why, with his sunny dispostion, he’d be great greeter!
Sam Adams
You dishonor your namesake. He would be ashamed that someone would lead the charge in his name for a political party that curtails freedom, pursues imperialism, and favors a top-down, contemporary monarchical form of government to the messy egalitarianism that often characterizes democracy. You might read about what old Sam stood for sometime. Of course, history doesn’t matter much to folks of your persuasion.
From the Washington Post today: “A former senior aide to Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales leveled serious new accusations against him and his deputy yesterday, describing an “uncomfortable” attempt by Gonzales to discuss the firings of U.S. attorneys as Congress and the Justice Department were intensifying their investigations of the issue. Monica M. Goodling, who resigned last month as Gonzales’s senior counselor and White House liaison, also told the House Judiciary Committee yesterday that she “crossed the line” by using political criteria in hiring a wide array of career professionals at Justice, including looking up political donations by some applicants.”
Ah, the rats have started feeding each other. I believe I’ll get some popcorn and a beer and sit back and watch the frenzy.
I’ll have to admit that the one really funny thing I’ve seen a politician of any stripe do in recent years was collection-of-outtakes TV spot with George Nethercutt and his wife right before the 2002 election.
Or was it ’04. I forget. Just about everything from 2000 on has been so awful, it’s all starting to seem the same.
Wow…
Republicans really pulled the rabbit out of the hat for this one, another quality candidate like Ron Taber, Chris Vance, or Ellen Craswell.
Any one who can smile while having their hand shoved up a bird’s ass gets my vote…
Can we put this jack(ass) rabbit back in the hat?
Gee Oh Pee
Perhaps the GOP is finally coming to their senses. Their bankrupt philosphy is perfectly matched by putting forward a KLOWN for public office.
How appropriate.
Turk says “I’m certainly different” ya no shit. Promises to make appearances “fun”. You would have to ask the bird.
He must have thought they meant the Grand Old Pervert party.
Is that what he calls “gladhanding”?
Would you let this man touch you, or your child.
Is this really the best candidate Luke “I’m not gay” Esser could find?
It is just waaaay too easy.
not as bad as the Mayor’s son….. I wonder if greg is getting a kick back… Not anymore…
I also heard that Nickels son “confessed” his involvement, so the Investigation could begin. They needed a whistleblower/informant before they would start the investigation…..
Sounds like it kinda sucks being Greg right now. His father died recently. Not to mention he didn’t get his tunnel or his strip club ordinance, and the night club law may be on life support.
Oh yes but Mayor Trillions seems to think he has a quarter of a Billion for his bike lanes, even though he seems to enjoy his brand spankin new Hybrid, ooooopps, when he is not in his SUV every night oooopps, when he is not in his Cadillac Limo oooops.
What choices…How many Carbon Credits is King County paying for to haul this fat ass lame sucker around.
Can yalll stop at the casino this evening, my son’s dealin!
Breaking News: Norm Maleng Dies
King County prosecutor Norm Maleng was called to a higher bar tonight. He was a lawyer’s lawyer, respected by all, and also a family man who endured a profound personal tragedy when his 12-year-old daughter was killed in a winter sledding accident about 20 years ago.
#41 is by Roger Rabbit
I think “Sam Adams” has left the reservation too.
@30 I’ll do it if they pay me enough.
Should he win, his victory won’t be some mere trick, it’ll be a true illusion.
The Republican Party in Washington is a JOKE.
I’m not heartbroken as a good liberal, but absolute power has the power to corrupt as we’ve seen at the national level for the past six years.
The Democratic Party can thumb their nose at a primary because they have the state House, Senate and Governorship, the majority of U.S. Representatives and both U.S. Senate seats, King County government is solidly Democratic and more and more counties and local governments are swinging that way.
When will the Republicans right their listing ship. The conservatives are driving their party into obscurity with Representative Hairspray as their last hope.
“Fact Six: His current business’s core focus is enabling individuals to achieve their dreams of success. Isn’t that the kind of leader we’re looking for?”
I expect he and Rossi are spending at least five hours a day working on that dream.
“so,it is important to keep a clear mind……(says the teacher)
(Rossi interupts)”B Bu BUT where is the money in that. Just tell me where the pay off is. Look I am paying you big bicks and if you don’t help me achive my dream of getting more money just for holding public office then what F#*$ing good are you.”
Turk the Magic Genie and his sidekick Doodles. Reardon could have benefited from a good opponent. This will only fuel his enormous but fragile ego. He will win the race easily but that probably is not a good thing for anyone.
Reardon will under estimate the genie. He has no idea what he is up against. It will be a lot closer than anyone thinks.
Let me guess. He works for peanuts i.e. the party will spend nothing on his campaign.