I just got finished listening to 25 minutes of Rep. Dave Reichert recorded at his recent campaign kickoff fundraising breakfast, and from his rambling, pointless and incoherent speech, one might think his head injury was more serious than was first let on… that is, if we didn’t already know Reichert for his rambling, pointless and incoherent speeches.
In fact, what’s most striking about Reichert’s comments is not what he says, but what he doesn’t say. Mostly he talks about his head injury, his hospitalization and his hair, with a sprinkling of platitudes about how he stands with Americans and for freedom. But what he doesn’t talk about are any issues. Nothing about the economy, nothing about unemployment, nothing about the environment or immigration or Wall Street regulatory reform or any of the many other problems we send our representatives to the other Washington to solve.
In fact, the only policy issue Reichert even remotely addresses is health care, and even then, only to regale his audience with tales of his own brush with our health care system, and to reassure them that he took advantage of every opportunity he had to vote against extending health care access to millions of under- and uninsured Americans.
Speaking of which, here is a clip of one of the biggest crowd pleasers of the morning, an anecdote where he compares the removal of medical tape to waterboarding:[audio:http://horsesass.org/wp-content/uploads/Reichert-Torture.mp3]
Hey, I was tortured while I was at the hospital. Uh, have you ever been in the hospital they put this tape on , for IVs and stuff like that. They use super glue. You know that? I’m not kidding. It’s super glue. I had six IVs: one on the top of my left hand, one on the top of my right, one in each wrist and one on each elbow, and they use super glue.
And uh, so when I’m being released, you know, they got to rip this stuff off. I mean I think I’m tough… am I tough Jon? I thought I was tough. The guy told me, the nurse came in and said, “Hey this is going to hurt.” I said okay, I think I can handle that. And he goes rip. And I go “Holy —!” Sorry. I said, then he goes, he goes, “I’m sorry.” Yeah right, so he does another rip and I said “Shit…!” You know, I say “Why don’t you just water-board me? What do you want to know? I’ll tell you anything you want to know!”
That’s a joke everybody. I mean, if anybody’s got, if you got your, you got your little video phone or somehow, and post this on Google… I’m against torture. Except if you’re in the hospital, I guess it’s the same. Yeah that hurts, man I’ll tell ya.
So I guess there was a policy statement in there after all, as I suppose we can deduce from this anecdote that Reichert apparently believes that waterboarding is indeed torture. But then, he also believes that ripping off a Band-Aid is torture too, and he’s not afraid to say so, even at the risk of somebody posting it “on Google.”
Oh man… can’t get enough of those torture jokes. Hah, hah!