According to Newsweek columnist Jonathan Alter, last week’s election marks the end of the conservative movement begun by Barry Goldwater in 1964, and U.S. politics is now moving back to the center. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15...../newsweek/
2
Roger Rabbitspews:
In other words, this election marks the final rejection of ideological politics and a movement back to pragmatism. If true, this is (in domestic politic terms) a momentous sea change in the tradition of the fall of the Soviet Union.
3
Roger Rabbitspews:
Of course, purging wingnutism from our social fabric will take some time, just as the de-Nazification of post-WW2 Germany wasn’t accomplished overnight.
4
ArtFartspews:
Barry would have had no part of what’s been going on under the banner of “conservatism” for the last 25 years.
5
ConservativeFirstspews:
by Goldy, 11/20/2006, 3:41 PM
Um… how will we know which is which?
Considering that the O.J. interview was on Fox Television and not the Fox News Channel, I’m not sure what you are talking about here.
Have you ever actually watched the Fox News Channel? Or is this just knee jerk criticism, since Fox News is a bogeyman for the left? That being said, airing a satire show on a news channel seems like a bad idea. And putting any money in O.J.’s pocket seems like an even worse idea.
Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max. I never watch Fox News Channel, it’s too liberal for my tastes.
6
mirrorspews:
Right wing news-satire comedy show: the real thing that will kill it as a viable endeavor is a severe lack of compassion for the suffering of others.
Rush Limbaugh’s imitation of Michael j fox’s Parkinson’s was an example of right wing humor and its lack of self awareness and self reflection.
7
YOS LIB BROspews:
Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max.
SLUDGE, WING NUTCAKE DAILY AND NEWSWHACKS – TOO WINGNUTTY FOR MY TASTE. SO IS FAUX SNOOZE CHANNEL.
The working title of the show has been “This Just In,” but that will change because AOL just launched a broadband comedy channel by that name.
In other words, it’s getting off to the same great start as PajamasMedia did, by selecting a name that’s already in use, and then having to pick another, pathically embarrassing one.
Heh. I’ll go pop the popcorn!
12
treasonous picklespews:
Conservatives have a sense of humor??
13
Roger Rabbitspews:
GOP Front Runner Undermines Troops
“Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., said … the soldiers there now are ‘fighting and dying for a failed policy.'” http://tinyurl.com/ws39w
Roger Rabbit Commentary: Scandalous! This ranks right up there with Kerry’s “stuck in Iraq” joke.
14
Roger Rabbitspews:
5 ConservativeFirst says: Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max. — 11/20/2006 at 3:54 pm
I wouldn’t tell people that if I were you. You already look foolish enough as it is.
15
Roger Rabbitspews:
13 That’s the moral equivalent of a commie bragging that he only reads Pravda.
16
ArtFartspews:
12 Sure…haven’t you heard some of it? Goes something like this:
“Democrats suck…huh-huh-huhuh…”
“Kill moooooslims…Huhhuh…huh…huh….”
Let’s nuke Iran….Heh-heh-heh-heh-heheheheheh….”
“Kill Mexicans….Huhuhuhuh…..”
“Lookit Michael J Fox, the librul spazzmo…Hahahahahahah…..”
“Let’s go beatup some fags ‘n’ homeless guys, that’ll be fun…huh-huh…..”
17
Roger Rabbitspews:
12 treasonous pickle says: Conservatives have a sense of humor?? 11/20/2006 at 4:20 pm
No, why do you ask?
18
Goldyspews:
Pickle @12,
PJ O’Rourke is damn funny. Can anybody think of another funny conservative?
19
rhp6033spews:
#13: “… the soldiers there now are ‘fighting and dying for a failed policy.'”
Where is the outrage from Fox News, O’Reilly, & the Bush Administration at this egregious disparagement of the American servicemen, which belittles their contribution to democracy in the middle east!!!!!! Surely the person uttering these words is walking dangerously close to the line of treason, giving aid and comfort to the enemy terrorists which killed some 3,000 innocent civilians in the World Trade Center….
Oh, wait. Its a Republican saying that. Never Mind.
20
proud leftistspews:
12
A few of them show signs of humor on occasion. The real fringies, however, have no sense of humor that anyone would recognize other than fellow fringies. I would like to see a study comparing humor among those of different political views. I think there’s a reason most comedians seem to be slanted toward the left.
21
Daddy Lovespews:
Rush Limbaugh can be funny.
Really!
22
Erevannspews:
Oi Goldy!
I was thinking… if they throw this “satire” up on Fox News, is it possible that we might see ACTUAL JOURNALISM on ch 48 (damn, had to look up the channel!)?
Most interesting thing I see here is… CNN breaks ground on cable news, Fox follows. Comedy Central breaks ground on news satire, Fox follows.
Now if this logic holds, BushCo. breaks MUCH ground in Iraq, hopefully Fox follows… right off the cliff. We can only hope. Though to tell ya true, I’d be happy if it was just O’Reilly. Sorry excuse for an Irishman, the damn amadán!
23
ConservativeFirstspews:
Goldy says:
PJ O’Rourke is damn funny. Can anybody think of another funny conservative?
11/20/2006 at 4:33 pm
Dennis Miller.
24
rhp6033spews:
I could swear I heard that O’Reilly’s demographic audience was something like an average of age 72? I guess that makes sense – most of them would have graduated high school around 1952, right in the midst of McCarthism and the Red Scare. They haven’t changed much since then?
25
Daddy Lovespews:
Remember last year’s “National Strategy for Victory in Iraq?” Hey, maybe it worked! Well, not so much.
Let’s see, it must be here somewhere…oh yeah! Key elements were “The Eight Pillars:”
Defeat the Terrorists and Neutralize the Insurgency; Transition Iraq to Security Self-RelianceHmmm…failed totally. Iraqi armed forces are by turns a wreck, affiliated with the insurgency, or Shia death squads.
Help Iraqis Forge a National Compact for Democratic Governmentumm, failing. Many of the Iraqis in the “government” have been assassinated and many others ahve left the country. The legislative body is therefore a joke (but not a funny one).
Help Iraq Build Government Capacity and Provide Essential ServicesBaghdad gets two hours of electric power a day, OK? Oh yeah, and the morgues are totally overwhelmed.
Help Iraq Strengthen Its EconomyEconomy?
Help Iraq Strengthen the Rule of Law and Promote Civil RightsHuman Rights watch just said that the farce of Saddam’s trial means it could not have been just (3 defense lawyers killed, judges speaking out against Saddam in the courtroom, and so on). What kind of “justice” do you think other people (those who survive, I mean) get?
Increase International Support for IraqI can just feel the love…
Strengthen Public Understanding of Coalition Efforts and Public Isolation of the InsurgentsWhen did they do that?
26
ConservativeFirstspews:
Roger Rabbit says:
I wouldn’t tell people that if I were you. You already look foolish enough as it is.
11/20/2006 at 4:29 pm
Speaking of a humorless fringies…
27
Daddy Lovespews:
23 CF
I’m inclined to say that Dennis Miller used to be funny. He was horrendous on MNF and his show is a yawn.
28
Yer Killin Mespews:
I’ve got to say, I think P J O’Rourke is pretty funny and have ever since his National Lampoon days. When he appears on NPR’s “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me!”, which is not often enough, he holds his own with the other two panelists (people like Roy Blount Jr., Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca and Roxanne Roberts). He apparently enjoys his role as the token conservative on the panel when he appears.
29
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
YOS LIB BRO says: Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max. SLUDGE, WING NUTCAKE DAILY AND NEWSWHACKS – TOO WINGNUTTY FOR MY TASTE. SO IS FAUX SNOOZE CHANNEL.
All terms previously written by Clueless. So either you are Clueless or a bad copycat. I select Clueless. No libtard moonbat donk could THAAAAAAAAAAT STUUUUUUUUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIID to be a copycat.
30
YOS LIB BROspews:
OH HI MWS. I’LL JUST PICK UP WHERE I LEFT OFF – YOU’RE A LOSER, A LUNATIC, IRRELEVANT. YOU BEEN TAKEN FOR EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE – A GULLIBLE FOOL – BY THE PUPPETMASTERS WHO FUND AND RUN THE RNC. YOU’RE LIKE A SECOND-HAND, THIRD-HAND, FOURTH-HAND NOOOOO! FIFTH-HAND ANTI-COMMIE BIRCHER TRACT FROM THE FIFTIES – YOU REPEAT THE WINGNUT LINE FILTERED THROUGH ALL THE LEVELS OF THE WINGNUT NOISE MACHINE. FILTER, RECYCLE, SPIN , REPEAT!!
Joan Rivers isn’t even funny any more. Partly because she tries to beat the audience over the head with politics, and partly because she’s so embalmed her face with Botox that she can’t mug anymore.
33
Heathen Sinnerspews:
I am Republican – I lie, steal and cheat when I’m not being a crying hypocrit family man. Hail Hitler.
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proud leftistspews:
MWS
I hear there’s a new prescription zit medication available now. Maybe if you pick some up now, you’ll have a shot at going to the prom in the spring.
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Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
YOS LIB BRO (AKA Clueless) says: OH HI MWS. You didn’t write anything worthwhile after that.
When I put up a real study of people in the military that refutes the Charles Rangels of the world you go apoplectic. I posted it before the Conservative MSM MOONBAT! Mooooooooooooooron! You are gonna have a coronary Clueless!
Have a good day Clueless. I deciphered your bullshit posts and identified who you are. You didn’t go anywhere to start any blog.
Another STUUUUUUUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIIID Moonbat!
36
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Proud Libtard. I bet I’m older than you. Another really worthless and dumb STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID Moonbat!
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Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
RUFUS: Thanks for the libtard. I like it too!
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Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Artfart: Joan Rivers and Don Rickles are of the same ilk. Non-funny putdowns.
39
Heathen Sinnerspews:
Git er done
40
ArtFartspews:
Actually, William F. Buckley has a great sense of humor.
Cheese whiz….where’s Earl Butz, now that we need him?
41
headless lucyspews:
So you are providing us with a proper link to the news you never read or watch?
42
Heathen Sinnerspews:
Why
43
proud leftistspews:
MWS
I believe you see your use of strings of vowels (stuuuuuiiiiid) as humorous. This proves the point above that the rightwing fringies see humor where others do not. Rock on, m’boy.
44
headless lucyspews:
re 18: PJ O’Rourke has the gift of self-deprecation. That’s part of what makes him funny, a la: “Conservatives believe that government doesn’t work. If you don’t believe us, just elect us.”
Most conservatives are such stuffed shirts, they probably don’t get his humor. When O’Rourke was a Liberal and wrote a lot for Rolling Stone he was just one of those young idealists whose hopes were crushed by the fact that they couldn’t change the world in a few years. I have serious doubts as to how deep his conservatism runs.
I think it’s just a gimmick at his age.
45
headless lucyspews:
re 23: He’s not funny anymore. He’s lame —- and fancies himself a football authority. Memorizing stuff about sports doesn’t make you an athlete.
46
Enoch Rootspews:
“The way I look at it, almost every comedy show or satire show I see uses the same talking points against George W. Bush and Dick Cheney,” Surnow said. “The other side hasn’t been skewered in a fair and balanced way.”
Yeah, nothing says BRING ON TEH FUNNY like a built-in martyr complex. Then again, I could write for them. Here’s a joke for free: Michael Moore is fat!
47
headless lucyspews:
A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order drinks. Two monkeys come down off the chandeliers and start mixing their drinks with their dicks.
Damn! I forgot the punch line!
48
headless lucyspews:
re 35: You mean: Refuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute?
49
headless lucyspews:
re 40: I remember that. “Warm toilet seat….”
He was probably trying to be “one of the guys.” I would forgive him for it.
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YOS LIB BROspews:
When I put up
IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME MWS STARTED A SENTENCE LIKE THIS, I’D BE SET FOR LIFE.
MWS, WHAT YOU “PUT UP” WAS WINGNUT BOOOOOOOOOOOOLSHIT!
A priest, a rabbi, and a reverend were walking near a river on a hot day. Since it was so hot, they all decided to take off their clothes and go skinny-dipping.
As they were getting out of the river, suddenly, a group of women and children walked by.
“Quick!” said the reverend, “Cover your private parts!”
The priest and the reverend both did so, while the rabbi covered his face.
After the women and children had passed, the priest asked the rabbi why he did that.
“I don’t know about your congregation,” said the rabbi , “but in mine, it’s my FACE they’d recognize!”
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Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Proud Libtard: stuuuuuiiiiid? Rhymes with druuuuuiiiiiid
Perfectly explains a Moonbat!
53
Heathen Sinnerspews:
JEW BoY
54
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Clueless: I thought you were leaving HorsesAss? Just can’t stay away so you change your name, but write the same crap.
Read the Heritage Report Clueless. Oops… my mistake. You can’t read!
And… the only sentence you know to write is asking MTR to pay his bet. That was the other giveaway, Clueless Bro
55
YOS LIB BROspews:
HAVE I CALLED MWS A LOSER YET? WHAT? A BUNCH OF TIMES? SO WHAT! I CAN CALL HIM THAT ALL NIGHT. DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS TRUE!
To Clueless if it’s not the Kos Report or the Media Matters report or the Moveon.org report, it’s “WINGNUT BOOOOOOOOOOOOLSHIT!”
Clueless, stop the capitals. You are getting close to YO, Furball’s favorite righty.
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headless lucyspews:
Salvador Dali once told the story…
Heh! Bet you’re really on the edge of your seat now!
59
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Lucy another for you.
A rabbi, a priest and a blue pixie walked into a bar, but after a few rounds the pixie eventually cheered up and decided to listen in to his friends conversation.
After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our beliefs”.
The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?” To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb and tasted pork.”
The priest nodded in understanding and went back to his reading.
After a while the rabbi asked the priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your faith that you remain celibate?”
The priest replied, “Yes that is still very much a part of our faith.” The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptation of the flesh?” The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.” The rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, “A lot better than pork isn’t it?”
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headless lucyspews:
I’m even more droll in a dada way than PJ O’Rourke. Yowza!
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YOS LIB BROspews:
You are getting close to YO
MWS, I’M YO’S LIB BRO. YO’S MY WINGNUT BRO. YO’S DROWNIN’ IN HIS BEER AT THE WINGNUT TAVERN.
TYPICAL WINGNUT (MWS) – CAN’T SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF HIS BUTT UGLY FACE!
I’m inclined to say that Dennis Miller used to be funny. He was horrendous on MNF and his show is a yawn.
11/20/2006 at 4:54 pm
I’d say Rush Limbaugh used to be funny as well. But a swelled ego and drug addiction can ruin one’s sense of humor.
63
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Two race horses are sitting at a bar reminiscing about their glory days and drowning their sorrows that they are long over.
After one or two golden coloured lemonades one confesses to the other “I was in my prime, winning 2 out of three races I entered and I got struck down by something no-one in the horse racing community had seen before”
“My trainer had not seen it, my owner was desperate and searched everywhere high and low to find and answer but they could not find and answer and I am still effected to this day”
“My god, what happened to you” asks the other horse with the bartender paying rapt attention.
“Well it’s a bit embarrassing but I will tell you any way. I prepared for the race day exactly the same way as I always did I was feeling good and I felt in top form. I start the race fine but just as I am coming up the home straight it starts, at first it’s a small fart, then the next one is bigger and louder, then the pressure in my gut is just too much and I have to stop for a shit, by the time I am finished all the other horses have passed me and I come in last”
Suddenly a greyhound pipes up a little way down the bar “You know what I had exactly the same thing happen to me”
Both horses look at each other and go “Holy shit, a talking dog”
64
Chuckspews:
Micheal Richards made headlines, I am always waiting to hear yet another liberal voice his true feelings like Kerry did! I love it… now wait for the backslide…it was a joke, give me a break! Then a “knuckle draggong” conservative gets hammered he at least resigns and leaves!
65
headless lucyspews:
re 59: I love it!!!! Now that’s funny!!! Here’s one I’ve told a million times…
BUSTER THE TALKING DOG
This guy walks into a bar on the Bowery with his little dog named , Buster. The guy orders a beer and Buster jumps right up and sits on the next stool. The guy says , “I’ll bet you this beer that my dog can talk.”
Bartender says, “You’re on!”
So Buster says,”You’re about the 100th bartender that’s lost this bet.” So the guy gets the drink for free.
They go to about ten bars getting free drinks this way until they run into one where the bartender says: “I don’t care if he can talk. You can’t drink in here unless the dog goes.”
Buster doesn’t want to go , so the guy says,”Here’s five bucks. Wait outside.” So Buster relents.
Suddenly the guy hears people yelling and screaming and he goes outside and Buster is fucking this French Poodle like there’s no tomorrow.
The guy says BUSTER!! BUSTER!! STOP THAT!! I’ve never seen you act that way before!
And Buster says: “I never had five dollars before.:
66
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Chuck: Puddy brought it up earlier today. No libtard has responded.
67
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Lucy: 65 Now that’s funny.
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, “Hey buddy, can’t you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!”
The man replies, “No, I can’t read the sign – I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.”
The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: “I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!”
The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, “The sign says no dogs allowed! You’ll have to leave!”
The friend says, “Sorry, I can’t see the sign because I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.”
The bartender replies, “Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?”
The man says, “They gave me a Chihuahua?”
68
headless lucyspews:
re 66: I’m always willing to forgive and forget. Lots of people are. Most , I’d say. No one likes that brand of holier than thou BS. Even Thurmond’s daughter holds no grudge against Trent Lott.
But it is a great talking point! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t use one like it …. like maybe if Michael Richards made a few racist comments….. I’m against destroying lives over comments that are just exaggerated momentary feelings.
69
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Lucy: Pay attention to this one!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone’s amazement, somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!” “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “he eats everything in sight, the little bum. Sorry. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks. “No, what?” replied the man. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!” said the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.”
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ConservativeFirstspews:
ArtFart says:
Joan Rivers isn’t even funny any more. Partly because she tries to beat the audience over the head with politics, and partly because she’s so embalmed her face with Botox that she can’t mug anymore.
11/20/2006 at 5:24 pm
When was Joan Rivers ever funny?
Sorry Daddy Love, I think Limbaugh falls into the “used to be funny” category as well.
71
YOS LIB BROspews:
I HEAR MWS IS A FANATIC ON-LINE GAMER.
PLAYS A LOT OF WoW.
YOU KNOW IT: WORLD OF WINGNUT!!!!
AND HE’S BEEN IN PERMANENT WASHOUT STATUS SINCE NOV 7!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER!
72
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Clueless: Almost funny.
Here’s the story of your life:
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.
The bartender says, “What’s wrong?”
“I caught my wife in flagrante with my best friend,” says the man.
“That’s just awful. What did you do?”
“Well, I looked my wife right in the eyes and said we were through.”
“What did you tell your best friend?”
“I looked him in the eyes and said, ‘Bad dog!’”
73
headless lucyspews:
re 72: Here’s one I know your gonna love:
Q: Why won’t Michael Steele use Aspirin?
A: Because he refuses to pick the cotton out of the bottle!!!!!!
74
headless lucyspews:
Q: What do you call six black people runnin’ for the elevator?
A; A pack o’ Lips Now!!!!!!!!!
75
headless lucyspews:
This one’s KILLER!!!!
A black lady with 17 sons is being interviewed by a TV reporter:
R- “I hear you have 17 sons and each one is named , Joe?”
BL- “Yes. That’s true.”
R- “Well. When you call them, how do they know who you mean?”
BL- Simple. I call them by their daddy’s last name!!!!”
76
rightonspews:
I was hoping to read about Sims’ plan to give up on rail on th eastside…you know, where he already owns all the land but would rather have hiking trails….
Ron is too stupid to run this place..
77
Roger Rabbitspews:
54 Mike Webb SUCKS says: … And… the only sentence you know to write is asking MTR to pay his bet. 11/20/2006 at 6:32 pm
Some people need more frequent reminders than others.
78
Roger Rabbitspews:
57 Mike Webb SUCKS says: … Furball’s favorite righty. 11/20/2006 at 6:38 pm
I don’t have a favorite righty. All of you suck.
79
Roger Rabbitspews:
This thread went to hell when the wingnuts started telling “jokes” …
80
Don Joespews:
Well, Roger, then I guess we’ll have to tell a joke just for you (with props to Nelson DeMille):
The Justice Department wanted to test the FBI and the CIA against the vaunted investigative capability of the the New York Police Department. The test was simple: send a rabbit into the woods, wait a short while, then send the agency into the woods to find the rabbit.
The first agency they tested was the FBI. They sent the rabbit into the woods, waited a bit, then sent the FBI in after the rabbit. Several hours later, the FBI came back without a rabbit.
“Through careful examination of minute trace evidence,” said the FBI, “we were able to track the rabbit, capture the rabbit and interrogate the rabbit, during which we learned that the rabbit was, in fact, innocent, and we let the rabbit go free.”
The JD folks made careful notes on the clipboards, then turned to the CIA. Same test: send the rabbit into the woods, wait a bit, then send the CIA in to find the rabbit. A few hours later, the CIA comes back without the rabbit.
“Through careful examination using assets we cannot fully describe,” said the CIA, “we tracked the rabbit, interrogated the rabbit, and discovered that the rabbit was, indeed, a foreign agent. However, we were able to pursuade the rabbit to adopt our point of view, and set the rabbit free. He is now a double-agent working for us.”
Again, the DJ foks made some notes on their clipboards, then turned to the NYPD. Same thing: send a rabbit into the woods, wait a bit, then send the NYPD into the woods to find the rabbit.
Shortly after the NYPD detectives went into the woods, a ruffled-looking bear came out, and said, “All right! All Right! I’m a rabbit. I’m a rabbit.”
81
Roger Rabbitspews:
Now that IS funny! I guess it proves we libs can tell jokes (headless lucy excepted), and wingnuts can’t.
82
Roger Rabbitspews:
A horse went into a bar, sat on stool, and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “Hey what’s up horse, why the long face?”
83
ArtFartspews:
76 Being as I happen to be married to one of the people who blew the story about the planned closure of both North End Public Health clinics out into the open, I’m not terribly eager to argue that point.
Then again, a line that goes right through the middle of Bellevue, Kirkland and Redmond with grade crossings about every quarter of a mile wouldn’t lend itself easily to “rapid” transit.
I used to work at Physio-Control with some people who wanted to run Budd cars up and down the line that paralleled Willows Road through Redmond (they wanted to call it “PHART”) but I understand that’s already been torn up. Considering that the whole west side of that valley is now industrial, it would have made pretty good sense.
84
Davidspews:
Descartes walks into a bar.
Bartender comes over and says “What’ll you have?”
Descartes says “I think I’ll have a beer.”
A while later, the bartender notices that Descartes’ glass is empty and asks “Hey, would you like another?”
Descartes says “I think not.”
and “POOF”, he disappears.
85
Daddy Lovespews:
Kevn Drum has a point:
“PIPA has released a new poll of Iraqi attitudes toward the U.S. occupation, and the takeaway is very, very clear: they want us to leave. 74% of Shiites and 91% of Sunnis want us to leave within a year (the number is 80% for Shiites in Baghdad). By wide margins, both groups believe U.S. forces are provoking more violence than they’re preventing, and both groups believe that day-to-day security would improve if we left. Support for attacks on U.S. forces now commands majority support among both Shiites and Sunnis. And none of this is because of successful al-Qaeda propaganda: 94% of Iraqis continue to disapprove of al-Qaeda.”
He comments: Now, it may be that these views are misguided. But it hardly matters: it’s simply not possible for us to occupy the country successfully if a majority of Iraqis actively support attacks on our troops and a vast majority think we’re responsible for the rising violence. It’s time for us to leave.
If you disagree, please state how we CAN succeed given these conditions, and be specific.
85: I’m always suspicious of polls coming out of Iraq. If you were an Iraqi and a “pollster” knocked on your door asking if you support the continued U.S. presence in Iraq, would you (a) say “yes”, and pray that the “Pollster” was not actually a militia agent, (b) say “no”, and pray that the “pollster” was not a government agent, or (c), run out the back door screaming? It’s kind of like responding to the question from the wife, “does this dress make me look fat?” There is no right answer.
But even with that caveat, I suspect that the cited poll is more accurate than not. I always believed that if we had a chance to accomplish anything in Iraq, we had to do it in the first three months, six months at the outside, then leave. The history of Iraq has been a continuing story of internal strife overidden only by a hatred of occupiers.
What could we have done in three to six months that we aren’t doing now?
For starters, we could have had a lot more boots on the ground, as advised by quite a few generals, to quickly secure the Iraqi army stockpiles of ammunition and explosives, and to prevent the looting.
Second, we could have made a quick deal with the Iraqi army generals, to keep them and their troops in position, with U.S. advisors and observers. This would have prevented hundreds of thousands of Iraqi soldiers from becoming unemployed (There is nothing quite like having a lot of young men with weapons, some military training, with lots of time on their hands and no money to support their families to fuel an insurgency). It would have also provided at least a skeletal force organization upon which a better army could be trained in the future.
By getting out within three to six months, we could avoid concerns throughout the middle east that we were planning to stay forever. This could have prevented the Iranian election of an anti-Israeli and Anti-American fascist for President instead of a moderate who was previously President.
This isn’t just “20-20 hindsight”, these were what I could see in March 2003, with only a moderate understanding of Iraqi history.
But the Bush administration selected Republicans with neo-con ideological purity (and no real experience) to design and implement the reconstruction of Iraq, and they screwed up big-time. People were put in charge of large Iraqi institutions, like the Iraqi stock market, with no more qualifications than a bachelor’s degree and having worked on a couple of Republican election campaigns.
But Bush is part of the group which believes we could still have won the Vietnam war if we had pushed harder and stayed longer. His comments in Vietnam this week were quite perplexing, he seems to think that we did win that war and it serves as a role model for our continued activity in Iraq. It really is quite distressing to realize that such incompetence will be in power in Iraq for two more years.
At this point I don’t see many good options left for Iraq. We will need to develop a fairly rapid pull-out plan, and leave it to the Iraqis to sort out for themselves. I’d like to combine it with some way to keep Iran out of the mix, but I don’t think anybody has a good idea how to do that now. In 2003 it was possible, but in 2006 or 2007, I don’t thinks so.
Its kind of like watching the Keystone Kops trying to put out a house fire, which started as a small candle. By the time you are finally allowed to take over the effort, the entire house is in flames, and the roof is collapsing, and then the Keystone Kops captain says: “Okay, you think you can do a better job, let’s see YOUR plan to fix it”!, (and then argue that it it your fault when the building collapses into ash shortly thereafter).
88
rhp6033spews:
An American tourist was walking out of a pub in Northern Ireland, when he suddenly felt a gun barrel in his back, and an voice with a distinct Irish accent asking him “Are you Protestent, or Catholic?”
He tried to think quickly. He didn’t know the neighborhood, so what answer would keep him from being killed? Finally, he blurted out “I’m Jewish!”, after which he was immediatly shot by the gunman.
Recovering in the hospital, his friends ask him what happened, and he recounts the story to them. “Why did he shoot you?” asks his friends. “Wouldn’t you know it – I ran into the only Palestinian in Northern Ireland!” replied the American.
89
Tlazolteotlspews:
like maybe if Michael Richards made a few racist comments….. I’m against destroying lives over comments that are just exaggerated momentary feelings.
Um, well, I respectfully will have to disagree with that, in this case. I mean, Mel Gibson was drunk and on his own time, if you will. But Richards was on stage – that means he was working. Most workplaces have policies where if you said something racist to a co-worker or client, you’d be fired for cause on the spot. So it’s hardly holding a performer to a higher standard to expect them to not go racistly ballistic on someone while at work, is it?
90
ArtFartspews:
OK…here goes.
A guy walks into a bar, carrying an octopus. He sits down at the bar, orders a beer, and announces to all within earshot that he’ll bet anyone five bucks they can’t come up with a musical instrument the octopus can’t play.
One of the patrons pulls a trumpet out of a case. The octopus puffs up his mantle, puts the horn to his beak and plays a tune sounding for all the world like Wynton Marsalis.
Another person walks over with a five-dollar bill and a Stratocaster. The octopus takes the guitar and plays a blues solo with fingering (or should we say, tentacle-ing) amazingly similar to Stevie Ray Vaughan.
The evening continues on, with various people producing a violin, a harmonica, a flute and a bass fiddle. All end up five dollars poorer.
Finally, the bartender says, “OK, let’s see what he does with this”, pulls out a bagpipe, and lays it on the bar. The octopus approaches it, and spends several minutes staring at it.
Finally, the octopus’s owner gets impatient and says, “Hey, are you gonna play that thing or not?”
The octopus replies, “Play it? Hell, if I could figure out how to get its little jammies off, I’d make love to it!”
91
headless lucyspews:
re 89: The Democratic Party loses a lot of prospective members with this type of holier than thou pile-on to someone who, in the heat of the moment, said some untoward things to a minority.
It’s not like the guy is Bernard Goetz. He appologized. Let it go.
92
Heathen Sinnerspews:
United We Stand – Divided We Fall. Keep bickering without real substance, while Islam radicals take over the world.
93
Mike Webb SUCKSspews:
Roger Rabbit says:
54 Mike Webb SUCKS says: … And… the only sentence you know to write is asking MTR to pay his bet. 11/20/2006 at 6:32 pm
Some people need more frequent reminders than others.
11/20/2006 at 10:12 pm
Furball, it’s the way Clueless writes it which gave him away as Yos Lib Bro. He can ignore it but I know that stench anywhere on this planet! Even Captain Planet could not wash that stench away!
94
Gunbobspews:
Most people can’t be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.
Roger Rabbit spews:
According to Newsweek columnist Jonathan Alter, last week’s election marks the end of the conservative movement begun by Barry Goldwater in 1964, and U.S. politics is now moving back to the center. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15...../newsweek/
Roger Rabbit spews:
In other words, this election marks the final rejection of ideological politics and a movement back to pragmatism. If true, this is (in domestic politic terms) a momentous sea change in the tradition of the fall of the Soviet Union.
Roger Rabbit spews:
Of course, purging wingnutism from our social fabric will take some time, just as the de-Nazification of post-WW2 Germany wasn’t accomplished overnight.
ArtFart spews:
Barry would have had no part of what’s been going on under the banner of “conservatism” for the last 25 years.
ConservativeFirst spews:
Considering that the O.J. interview was on Fox Television and not the Fox News Channel, I’m not sure what you are talking about here.
Have you ever actually watched the Fox News Channel? Or is this just knee jerk criticism, since Fox News is a bogeyman for the left? That being said, airing a satire show on a news channel seems like a bad idea. And putting any money in O.J.’s pocket seems like an even worse idea.
Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max. I never watch Fox News Channel, it’s too liberal for my tastes.
mirror spews:
Right wing news-satire comedy show: the real thing that will kill it as a viable endeavor is a severe lack of compassion for the suffering of others.
Rush Limbaugh’s imitation of Michael j fox’s Parkinson’s was an example of right wing humor and its lack of self awareness and self reflection.
YOS LIB BRO spews:
Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max.
SLUDGE, WING NUTCAKE DAILY AND NEWSWHACKS – TOO WINGNUTTY FOR MY TASTE. SO IS FAUX SNOOZE CHANNEL.
Darryl spews:
ConservativeFirst,
“Considering that the O.J. interview was on Fox Television and not the Fox News Channel, I’m not sure what you are talking about here.”
So…who said anything about O.J.? Man…you Wingnuts are sure sensitive about some things….
proud leftist spews:
CF @ 5
“Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max. I never watch Fox News Channel, it’s too liberal for my tastes.”
That’s satire, right?
ConservativeFirst spews:
Yes.
Goldy’s second link is to Fox news (so he brought it up), where the current headline is:
“News Corp. Cancels O.J.’s ‘How I Did It’ Book, TV Deal”
Here’s a link to the actual article as the main Fox News page may change.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,230838,00.html
Tlazolteotl spews:
In other words, it’s getting off to the same great start as PajamasMedia did, by selecting a name that’s already in use, and then having to pick another, pathically embarrassing one.
Heh. I’ll go pop the popcorn!
treasonous pickle spews:
Conservatives have a sense of humor??
Roger Rabbit spews:
GOP Front Runner Undermines Troops
“Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., said … the soldiers there now are ‘fighting and dying for a failed policy.'” http://tinyurl.com/ws39w
Roger Rabbit Commentary: Scandalous! This ranks right up there with Kerry’s “stuck in Iraq” joke.
Roger Rabbit spews:
5 ConservativeFirst says: Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max. — 11/20/2006 at 3:54 pm
I wouldn’t tell people that if I were you. You already look foolish enough as it is.
Roger Rabbit spews:
13 That’s the moral equivalent of a commie bragging that he only reads Pravda.
ArtFart spews:
12 Sure…haven’t you heard some of it? Goes something like this:
“Democrats suck…huh-huh-huhuh…”
“Kill moooooslims…Huhhuh…huh…huh….”
Let’s nuke Iran….Heh-heh-heh-heh-heheheheheh….”
“Kill Mexicans….Huhuhuhuh…..”
“Lookit Michael J Fox, the librul spazzmo…Hahahahahahah…..”
“Let’s go beatup some fags ‘n’ homeless guys, that’ll be fun…huh-huh…..”
Roger Rabbit spews:
12 treasonous pickle says: Conservatives have a sense of humor?? 11/20/2006 at 4:20 pm
No, why do you ask?
Goldy spews:
Pickle @12,
PJ O’Rourke is damn funny. Can anybody think of another funny conservative?
rhp6033 spews:
#13: “… the soldiers there now are ‘fighting and dying for a failed policy.'”
Where is the outrage from Fox News, O’Reilly, & the Bush Administration at this egregious disparagement of the American servicemen, which belittles their contribution to democracy in the middle east!!!!!! Surely the person uttering these words is walking dangerously close to the line of treason, giving aid and comfort to the enemy terrorists which killed some 3,000 innocent civilians in the World Trade Center….
Oh, wait. Its a Republican saying that. Never Mind.
proud leftist spews:
12
A few of them show signs of humor on occasion. The real fringies, however, have no sense of humor that anyone would recognize other than fellow fringies. I would like to see a study comparing humor among those of different political views. I think there’s a reason most comedians seem to be slanted toward the left.
Daddy Love spews:
Rush Limbaugh can be funny.
Really!
Erevann spews:
Oi Goldy!
I was thinking… if they throw this “satire” up on Fox News, is it possible that we might see ACTUAL JOURNALISM on ch 48 (damn, had to look up the channel!)?
Most interesting thing I see here is… CNN breaks ground on cable news, Fox follows. Comedy Central breaks ground on news satire, Fox follows.
Now if this logic holds, BushCo. breaks MUCH ground in Iraq, hopefully Fox follows… right off the cliff. We can only hope. Though to tell ya true, I’d be happy if it was just O’Reilly. Sorry excuse for an Irishman, the damn amadán!
ConservativeFirst spews:
Dennis Miller.
rhp6033 spews:
I could swear I heard that O’Reilly’s demographic audience was something like an average of age 72? I guess that makes sense – most of them would have graduated high school around 1952, right in the midst of McCarthism and the Red Scare. They haven’t changed much since then?
Daddy Love spews:
Remember last year’s “National Strategy for Victory in Iraq?” Hey, maybe it worked! Well, not so much.
Let’s see, it must be here somewhere…oh yeah! Key elements were “The Eight Pillars:”
Defeat the Terrorists and Neutralize the Insurgency; Transition Iraq to Security Self-RelianceHmmm…failed totally. Iraqi armed forces are by turns a wreck, affiliated with the insurgency, or Shia death squads.
Help Iraqis Forge a National Compact for Democratic Governmentumm, failing. Many of the Iraqis in the “government” have been assassinated and many others ahve left the country. The legislative body is therefore a joke (but not a funny one).
Help Iraq Build Government Capacity and Provide Essential ServicesBaghdad gets two hours of electric power a day, OK? Oh yeah, and the morgues are totally overwhelmed.
Help Iraq Strengthen Its EconomyEconomy?
Help Iraq Strengthen the Rule of Law and Promote Civil RightsHuman Rights watch just said that the farce of Saddam’s trial means it could not have been just (3 defense lawyers killed, judges speaking out against Saddam in the courtroom, and so on). What kind of “justice” do you think other people (those who survive, I mean) get?
Increase International Support for IraqI can just feel the love…
Strengthen Public Understanding of Coalition Efforts and Public Isolation of the InsurgentsWhen did they do that?
ConservativeFirst spews:
Speaking of a humorless fringies…
Daddy Love spews:
23 CF
I’m inclined to say that Dennis Miller used to be funny. He was horrendous on MNF and his show is a yawn.
Yer Killin Me spews:
I’ve got to say, I think P J O’Rourke is pretty funny and have ever since his National Lampoon days. When he appears on NPR’s “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me!”, which is not often enough, he holds his own with the other two panelists (people like Roy Blount Jr., Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca and Roxanne Roberts). He apparently enjoys his role as the token conservative on the panel when he appears.
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
YOS LIB BRO says: Personally I get all my news from Drudge, World Net Daily and News Max. SLUDGE, WING NUTCAKE DAILY AND NEWSWHACKS – TOO WINGNUTTY FOR MY TASTE. SO IS FAUX SNOOZE CHANNEL.
All terms previously written by Clueless. So either you are Clueless or a bad copycat. I select Clueless. No libtard moonbat donk could THAAAAAAAAAAT STUUUUUUUUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIID to be a copycat.
YOS LIB BRO spews:
OH HI MWS. I’LL JUST PICK UP WHERE I LEFT OFF – YOU’RE A LOSER, A LUNATIC, IRRELEVANT. YOU BEEN TAKEN FOR EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE – A GULLIBLE FOOL – BY THE PUPPETMASTERS WHO FUND AND RUN THE RNC. YOU’RE LIKE A SECOND-HAND, THIRD-HAND, FOURTH-HAND NOOOOO! FIFTH-HAND ANTI-COMMIE BIRCHER TRACT FROM THE FIFTIES – YOU REPEAT THE WINGNUT LINE FILTERED THROUGH ALL THE LEVELS OF THE WINGNUT NOISE MACHINE. FILTER, RECYCLE, SPIN , REPEAT!!
YOU’RE SUCH A:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER!!!!
ArtFart spews:
23 No.
ArtFart spews:
Joan Rivers isn’t even funny any more. Partly because she tries to beat the audience over the head with politics, and partly because she’s so embalmed her face with Botox that she can’t mug anymore.
Heathen Sinner spews:
I am Republican – I lie, steal and cheat when I’m not being a crying hypocrit family man. Hail Hitler.
proud leftist spews:
MWS
I hear there’s a new prescription zit medication available now. Maybe if you pick some up now, you’ll have a shot at going to the prom in the spring.
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
YOS LIB BRO (AKA Clueless) says: OH HI MWS. You didn’t write anything worthwhile after that.
When I put up a real study of people in the military that refutes the Charles Rangels of the world you go apoplectic. I posted it before the Conservative MSM MOONBAT! Mooooooooooooooron! You are gonna have a coronary Clueless!
Have a good day Clueless. I deciphered your bullshit posts and identified who you are. You didn’t go anywhere to start any blog.
Another STUUUUUUUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIIID Moonbat!
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Proud Libtard. I bet I’m older than you. Another really worthless and dumb STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID Moonbat!
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
RUFUS: Thanks for the libtard. I like it too!
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Artfart: Joan Rivers and Don Rickles are of the same ilk. Non-funny putdowns.
Heathen Sinner spews:
Git er done
ArtFart spews:
Actually, William F. Buckley has a great sense of humor.
Cheese whiz….where’s Earl Butz, now that we need him?
headless lucy spews:
So you are providing us with a proper link to the news you never read or watch?
Heathen Sinner spews:
Why
proud leftist spews:
MWS
I believe you see your use of strings of vowels (stuuuuuiiiiid) as humorous. This proves the point above that the rightwing fringies see humor where others do not. Rock on, m’boy.
headless lucy spews:
re 18: PJ O’Rourke has the gift of self-deprecation. That’s part of what makes him funny, a la: “Conservatives believe that government doesn’t work. If you don’t believe us, just elect us.”
Most conservatives are such stuffed shirts, they probably don’t get his humor. When O’Rourke was a Liberal and wrote a lot for Rolling Stone he was just one of those young idealists whose hopes were crushed by the fact that they couldn’t change the world in a few years. I have serious doubts as to how deep his conservatism runs.
I think it’s just a gimmick at his age.
headless lucy spews:
re 23: He’s not funny anymore. He’s lame —- and fancies himself a football authority. Memorizing stuff about sports doesn’t make you an athlete.
Enoch Root spews:
Yeah, nothing says BRING ON TEH FUNNY like a built-in martyr complex. Then again, I could write for them. Here’s a joke for free: Michael Moore is fat!
headless lucy spews:
A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order drinks. Two monkeys come down off the chandeliers and start mixing their drinks with their dicks.
Damn! I forgot the punch line!
headless lucy spews:
re 35: You mean: Refuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute?
headless lucy spews:
re 40: I remember that. “Warm toilet seat….”
He was probably trying to be “one of the guys.” I would forgive him for it.
YOS LIB BRO spews:
When I put up
IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME MWS STARTED A SENTENCE LIKE THIS, I’D BE SET FOR LIFE.
MWS, WHAT YOU “PUT UP” WAS WINGNUT BOOOOOOOOOOOOLSHIT!
LOTTA GOOD IT DID YOU ON NOV 7.
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!!!!!
MWS, YOU WASHED OUT!!!!!!
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
A priest, a rabbi, and a reverend were walking near a river on a hot day. Since it was so hot, they all decided to take off their clothes and go skinny-dipping.
As they were getting out of the river, suddenly, a group of women and children walked by.
“Quick!” said the reverend, “Cover your private parts!”
The priest and the reverend both did so, while the rabbi covered his face.
After the women and children had passed, the priest asked the rabbi why he did that.
“I don’t know about your congregation,” said the rabbi , “but in mine, it’s my FACE they’d recognize!”
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Proud Libtard: stuuuuuiiiiid? Rhymes with druuuuuiiiiiid
Perfectly explains a Moonbat!
Heathen Sinner spews:
JEW BoY
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Clueless: I thought you were leaving HorsesAss? Just can’t stay away so you change your name, but write the same crap.
Read the Heritage Report Clueless. Oops… my mistake. You can’t read!
And… the only sentence you know to write is asking MTR to pay his bet. That was the other giveaway, Clueless Bro
YOS LIB BRO spews:
HAVE I CALLED MWS A LOSER YET? WHAT? A BUNCH OF TIMES? SO WHAT! I CAN CALL HIM THAT ALL NIGHT. DOESN’T MAKE IT ANY LESS TRUE!
HEY MWS. YOU’RE A:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER!!!!
headless lucy spews:
re 51: Not bad. Maybe you are a mensch!
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
To Clueless if it’s not the Kos Report or the Media Matters report or the Moveon.org report, it’s “WINGNUT BOOOOOOOOOOOOLSHIT!”
Clueless, stop the capitals. You are getting close to YO, Furball’s favorite righty.
headless lucy spews:
Salvador Dali once told the story…
Heh! Bet you’re really on the edge of your seat now!
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Lucy another for you.
A rabbi, a priest and a blue pixie walked into a bar, but after a few rounds the pixie eventually cheered up and decided to listen in to his friends conversation.
After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our beliefs”.
The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?” To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb and tasted pork.”
The priest nodded in understanding and went back to his reading.
After a while the rabbi asked the priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your faith that you remain celibate?”
The priest replied, “Yes that is still very much a part of our faith.” The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptation of the flesh?” The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.” The rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, “A lot better than pork isn’t it?”
headless lucy spews:
I’m even more droll in a dada way than PJ O’Rourke. Yowza!
YOS LIB BRO spews:
You are getting close to YO
MWS, I’M YO’S LIB BRO. YO’S MY WINGNUT BRO. YO’S DROWNIN’ IN HIS BEER AT THE WINGNUT TAVERN.
TYPICAL WINGNUT (MWS) – CAN’T SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF HIS BUTT UGLY FACE!
GOOD NIGHT,
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER!!!!
ConservativeFirst spews:
I’d say Rush Limbaugh used to be funny as well. But a swelled ego and drug addiction can ruin one’s sense of humor.
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Two race horses are sitting at a bar reminiscing about their glory days and drowning their sorrows that they are long over.
After one or two golden coloured lemonades one confesses to the other “I was in my prime, winning 2 out of three races I entered and I got struck down by something no-one in the horse racing community had seen before”
“My trainer had not seen it, my owner was desperate and searched everywhere high and low to find and answer but they could not find and answer and I am still effected to this day”
“My god, what happened to you” asks the other horse with the bartender paying rapt attention.
“Well it’s a bit embarrassing but I will tell you any way. I prepared for the race day exactly the same way as I always did I was feeling good and I felt in top form. I start the race fine but just as I am coming up the home straight it starts, at first it’s a small fart, then the next one is bigger and louder, then the pressure in my gut is just too much and I have to stop for a shit, by the time I am finished all the other horses have passed me and I come in last”
Suddenly a greyhound pipes up a little way down the bar “You know what I had exactly the same thing happen to me”
Both horses look at each other and go “Holy shit, a talking dog”
Chuck spews:
Micheal Richards made headlines, I am always waiting to hear yet another liberal voice his true feelings like Kerry did! I love it… now wait for the backslide…it was a joke, give me a break! Then a “knuckle draggong” conservative gets hammered he at least resigns and leaves!
headless lucy spews:
re 59: I love it!!!! Now that’s funny!!! Here’s one I’ve told a million times…
BUSTER THE TALKING DOG
This guy walks into a bar on the Bowery with his little dog named , Buster. The guy orders a beer and Buster jumps right up and sits on the next stool. The guy says , “I’ll bet you this beer that my dog can talk.”
Bartender says, “You’re on!”
So Buster says,”You’re about the 100th bartender that’s lost this bet.” So the guy gets the drink for free.
They go to about ten bars getting free drinks this way until they run into one where the bartender says: “I don’t care if he can talk. You can’t drink in here unless the dog goes.”
Buster doesn’t want to go , so the guy says,”Here’s five bucks. Wait outside.” So Buster relents.
Suddenly the guy hears people yelling and screaming and he goes outside and Buster is fucking this French Poodle like there’s no tomorrow.
The guy says BUSTER!! BUSTER!! STOP THAT!! I’ve never seen you act that way before!
And Buster says: “I never had five dollars before.:
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Chuck: Puddy brought it up earlier today. No libtard has responded.
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Lucy: 65 Now that’s funny.
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, “Hey buddy, can’t you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!”
The man replies, “No, I can’t read the sign – I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.”
The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: “I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!”
The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, “The sign says no dogs allowed! You’ll have to leave!”
The friend says, “Sorry, I can’t see the sign because I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.”
The bartender replies, “Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?”
The man says, “They gave me a Chihuahua?”
headless lucy spews:
re 66: I’m always willing to forgive and forget. Lots of people are. Most , I’d say. No one likes that brand of holier than thou BS. Even Thurmond’s daughter holds no grudge against Trent Lott.
But it is a great talking point! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t use one like it …. like maybe if Michael Richards made a few racist comments….. I’m against destroying lives over comments that are just exaggerated momentary feelings.
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Lucy: Pay attention to this one!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone’s amazement, somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!” “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “he eats everything in sight, the little bum. Sorry. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks. “No, what?” replied the man. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!” said the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.”
ConservativeFirst spews:
When was Joan Rivers ever funny?
Sorry Daddy Love, I think Limbaugh falls into the “used to be funny” category as well.
YOS LIB BRO spews:
I HEAR MWS IS A FANATIC ON-LINE GAMER.
PLAYS A LOT OF WoW.
YOU KNOW IT: WORLD OF WINGNUT!!!!
AND HE’S BEEN IN PERMANENT WASHOUT STATUS SINCE NOV 7!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER!
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Clueless: Almost funny.
Here’s the story of your life:
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch.
The bartender says, “What’s wrong?”
“I caught my wife in flagrante with my best friend,” says the man.
“That’s just awful. What did you do?”
“Well, I looked my wife right in the eyes and said we were through.”
“What did you tell your best friend?”
“I looked him in the eyes and said, ‘Bad dog!’”
headless lucy spews:
re 72: Here’s one I know your gonna love:
Q: Why won’t Michael Steele use Aspirin?
A: Because he refuses to pick the cotton out of the bottle!!!!!!
headless lucy spews:
Q: What do you call six black people runnin’ for the elevator?
A; A pack o’ Lips Now!!!!!!!!!
headless lucy spews:
This one’s KILLER!!!!
A black lady with 17 sons is being interviewed by a TV reporter:
R- “I hear you have 17 sons and each one is named , Joe?”
BL- “Yes. That’s true.”
R- “Well. When you call them, how do they know who you mean?”
BL- Simple. I call them by their daddy’s last name!!!!”
righton spews:
I was hoping to read about Sims’ plan to give up on rail on th eastside…you know, where he already owns all the land but would rather have hiking trails….
Ron is too stupid to run this place..
Roger Rabbit spews:
54 Mike Webb SUCKS says: … And… the only sentence you know to write is asking MTR to pay his bet. 11/20/2006 at 6:32 pm
Some people need more frequent reminders than others.
Roger Rabbit spews:
57 Mike Webb SUCKS says: … Furball’s favorite righty. 11/20/2006 at 6:38 pm
I don’t have a favorite righty. All of you suck.
Roger Rabbit spews:
This thread went to hell when the wingnuts started telling “jokes” …
Don Joe spews:
Well, Roger, then I guess we’ll have to tell a joke just for you (with props to Nelson DeMille):
The Justice Department wanted to test the FBI and the CIA against the vaunted investigative capability of the the New York Police Department. The test was simple: send a rabbit into the woods, wait a short while, then send the agency into the woods to find the rabbit.
The first agency they tested was the FBI. They sent the rabbit into the woods, waited a bit, then sent the FBI in after the rabbit. Several hours later, the FBI came back without a rabbit.
“Through careful examination of minute trace evidence,” said the FBI, “we were able to track the rabbit, capture the rabbit and interrogate the rabbit, during which we learned that the rabbit was, in fact, innocent, and we let the rabbit go free.”
The JD folks made careful notes on the clipboards, then turned to the CIA. Same test: send the rabbit into the woods, wait a bit, then send the CIA in to find the rabbit. A few hours later, the CIA comes back without the rabbit.
“Through careful examination using assets we cannot fully describe,” said the CIA, “we tracked the rabbit, interrogated the rabbit, and discovered that the rabbit was, indeed, a foreign agent. However, we were able to pursuade the rabbit to adopt our point of view, and set the rabbit free. He is now a double-agent working for us.”
Again, the DJ foks made some notes on their clipboards, then turned to the NYPD. Same thing: send a rabbit into the woods, wait a bit, then send the NYPD into the woods to find the rabbit.
Shortly after the NYPD detectives went into the woods, a ruffled-looking bear came out, and said, “All right! All Right! I’m a rabbit. I’m a rabbit.”
Roger Rabbit spews:
Now that IS funny! I guess it proves we libs can tell jokes (headless lucy excepted), and wingnuts can’t.
Roger Rabbit spews:
A horse went into a bar, sat on stool, and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “Hey what’s up horse, why the long face?”
ArtFart spews:
76 Being as I happen to be married to one of the people who blew the story about the planned closure of both North End Public Health clinics out into the open, I’m not terribly eager to argue that point.
Then again, a line that goes right through the middle of Bellevue, Kirkland and Redmond with grade crossings about every quarter of a mile wouldn’t lend itself easily to “rapid” transit.
I used to work at Physio-Control with some people who wanted to run Budd cars up and down the line that paralleled Willows Road through Redmond (they wanted to call it “PHART”) but I understand that’s already been torn up. Considering that the whole west side of that valley is now industrial, it would have made pretty good sense.
David spews:
Descartes walks into a bar.
Bartender comes over and says “What’ll you have?”
Descartes says “I think I’ll have a beer.”
A while later, the bartender notices that Descartes’ glass is empty and asks “Hey, would you like another?”
Descartes says “I think not.”
and “POOF”, he disappears.
Daddy Love spews:
Kevn Drum has a point:
If you disagree, please state how we CAN succeed given these conditions, and be specific.
Daddy Love spews:
I linked the poll…
http://www.worldpublicopinion......06_rpt.pdf
rhp6033 spews:
85: I’m always suspicious of polls coming out of Iraq. If you were an Iraqi and a “pollster” knocked on your door asking if you support the continued U.S. presence in Iraq, would you (a) say “yes”, and pray that the “Pollster” was not actually a militia agent, (b) say “no”, and pray that the “pollster” was not a government agent, or (c), run out the back door screaming? It’s kind of like responding to the question from the wife, “does this dress make me look fat?” There is no right answer.
But even with that caveat, I suspect that the cited poll is more accurate than not. I always believed that if we had a chance to accomplish anything in Iraq, we had to do it in the first three months, six months at the outside, then leave. The history of Iraq has been a continuing story of internal strife overidden only by a hatred of occupiers.
What could we have done in three to six months that we aren’t doing now?
For starters, we could have had a lot more boots on the ground, as advised by quite a few generals, to quickly secure the Iraqi army stockpiles of ammunition and explosives, and to prevent the looting.
Second, we could have made a quick deal with the Iraqi army generals, to keep them and their troops in position, with U.S. advisors and observers. This would have prevented hundreds of thousands of Iraqi soldiers from becoming unemployed (There is nothing quite like having a lot of young men with weapons, some military training, with lots of time on their hands and no money to support their families to fuel an insurgency). It would have also provided at least a skeletal force organization upon which a better army could be trained in the future.
By getting out within three to six months, we could avoid concerns throughout the middle east that we were planning to stay forever. This could have prevented the Iranian election of an anti-Israeli and Anti-American fascist for President instead of a moderate who was previously President.
This isn’t just “20-20 hindsight”, these were what I could see in March 2003, with only a moderate understanding of Iraqi history.
But the Bush administration selected Republicans with neo-con ideological purity (and no real experience) to design and implement the reconstruction of Iraq, and they screwed up big-time. People were put in charge of large Iraqi institutions, like the Iraqi stock market, with no more qualifications than a bachelor’s degree and having worked on a couple of Republican election campaigns.
But Bush is part of the group which believes we could still have won the Vietnam war if we had pushed harder and stayed longer. His comments in Vietnam this week were quite perplexing, he seems to think that we did win that war and it serves as a role model for our continued activity in Iraq. It really is quite distressing to realize that such incompetence will be in power in Iraq for two more years.
At this point I don’t see many good options left for Iraq. We will need to develop a fairly rapid pull-out plan, and leave it to the Iraqis to sort out for themselves. I’d like to combine it with some way to keep Iran out of the mix, but I don’t think anybody has a good idea how to do that now. In 2003 it was possible, but in 2006 or 2007, I don’t thinks so.
Its kind of like watching the Keystone Kops trying to put out a house fire, which started as a small candle. By the time you are finally allowed to take over the effort, the entire house is in flames, and the roof is collapsing, and then the Keystone Kops captain says: “Okay, you think you can do a better job, let’s see YOUR plan to fix it”!, (and then argue that it it your fault when the building collapses into ash shortly thereafter).
rhp6033 spews:
An American tourist was walking out of a pub in Northern Ireland, when he suddenly felt a gun barrel in his back, and an voice with a distinct Irish accent asking him “Are you Protestent, or Catholic?”
He tried to think quickly. He didn’t know the neighborhood, so what answer would keep him from being killed? Finally, he blurted out “I’m Jewish!”, after which he was immediatly shot by the gunman.
Recovering in the hospital, his friends ask him what happened, and he recounts the story to them. “Why did he shoot you?” asks his friends. “Wouldn’t you know it – I ran into the only Palestinian in Northern Ireland!” replied the American.
Tlazolteotl spews:
Um, well, I respectfully will have to disagree with that, in this case. I mean, Mel Gibson was drunk and on his own time, if you will. But Richards was on stage – that means he was working. Most workplaces have policies where if you said something racist to a co-worker or client, you’d be fired for cause on the spot. So it’s hardly holding a performer to a higher standard to expect them to not go racistly ballistic on someone while at work, is it?
ArtFart spews:
OK…here goes.
A guy walks into a bar, carrying an octopus. He sits down at the bar, orders a beer, and announces to all within earshot that he’ll bet anyone five bucks they can’t come up with a musical instrument the octopus can’t play.
One of the patrons pulls a trumpet out of a case. The octopus puffs up his mantle, puts the horn to his beak and plays a tune sounding for all the world like Wynton Marsalis.
Another person walks over with a five-dollar bill and a Stratocaster. The octopus takes the guitar and plays a blues solo with fingering (or should we say, tentacle-ing) amazingly similar to Stevie Ray Vaughan.
The evening continues on, with various people producing a violin, a harmonica, a flute and a bass fiddle. All end up five dollars poorer.
Finally, the bartender says, “OK, let’s see what he does with this”, pulls out a bagpipe, and lays it on the bar. The octopus approaches it, and spends several minutes staring at it.
Finally, the octopus’s owner gets impatient and says, “Hey, are you gonna play that thing or not?”
The octopus replies, “Play it? Hell, if I could figure out how to get its little jammies off, I’d make love to it!”
headless lucy spews:
re 89: The Democratic Party loses a lot of prospective members with this type of holier than thou pile-on to someone who, in the heat of the moment, said some untoward things to a minority.
It’s not like the guy is Bernard Goetz. He appologized. Let it go.
Heathen Sinner spews:
United We Stand – Divided We Fall. Keep bickering without real substance, while Islam radicals take over the world.
Mike Webb SUCKS spews:
Roger Rabbit says:
54 Mike Webb SUCKS says: … And… the only sentence you know to write is asking MTR to pay his bet. 11/20/2006 at 6:32 pm
Some people need more frequent reminders than others.
11/20/2006 at 10:12 pm
Furball, it’s the way Clueless writes it which gave him away as Yos Lib Bro. He can ignore it but I know that stench anywhere on this planet! Even Captain Planet could not wash that stench away!
Gunbob spews:
Most people can’t be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.