Sometimes it’s damn hard to pick the day’s top story, but this morning, not so much. Baseball is still “America’s pastime,” even if football is the big money sport, and while the Super Bowl may be the single biggest TV event of the year, the World Series is by far the more iconic event. So when the Boston Red Sox sweep the Series for the second time in four years, that’s big news, especially in Boston. But, um, still… it’s only a baseball game…
Armed with broom sticks and prepared for a sweep, confident members of Red Sox nation descended on Coors Field tonight predicting a historic victory for their beloved Boston team.
Their sweep dreams came true.
The Red Sox have swept a Series for the second time in four seasons and it had grown men ready to cry even before the game’s first pitch.
And I cried the day Bush was declared president, so I respect men who aren’t afraid to show their sensitive side. As for Denver fans…
The Rockies’ magical season died on Sunday night, forever frozen within reach of a goal that seemed laughable when the players arrived in Tucson seven months ago. Four games, four losses. A paradise and championship lost.
Ugh. Gag me with a spoon.
Still, I suppose if it had been the Phillies Mariners in the series, I might wax equally poetic. And maybe next year it will be the Mariners, if they can get themselves a little of this. Or perhaps, this.
Speaking of drugs, California Gov. Arnold Shwarzenegger tells GQ magazine that marijuana is not one:
Schwarzenegger told the British edition of GQ magazine that he had not taken drugs, even though the former bodybuilder and Hollywood star has acknowledged using marijuana in the 1970s and was shown smoking a joint in the 1977 documentary “Pumping Iron.”
“That is not a drug. It’s a leaf,” Schwarzenegger told GQ.
And at just over a billion dollars a year, marijuana is also Washington state’s number two cash crop, coming in just behind our state’s more famous $1.15 billion apple harvest. That makes WA the number five pot-growing state in the nation. Just imagine if it were legal and taxed, how many millions marijuana would bring into government coffers instead of the millions we spend arresting, trying, and incarcerating growers? And just imagine the suffering that could be relieved if medical marijuana patients were allowed to actually grow and buy marijuana, as well as merely possess it? Perhaps it would even make the ailing J.P. Patches a happy clown again?
Suffering from “blood cancer,” J.P. Patches could use a little weed
And speaking of getting high, things are looking up for at Harrington WA, new home of the National UFO Reporting Center. May they have as much success as the Bigfoot Field Research Center (and yes… there really is a Bigfoot Field Research Center,) which may have finally found conclusive evidence of sasquatch, deep in the woods of Pennsylvania. Or maybe it was a “skinny, mangy bear.” Whatever.
Just think: We’ll have to grow a billion dollars worth of marijuana every year for the next half century to pay for Prop. 1. The grow shops better order extra halogen lamps because we’re gonna need a maryjane lamp in every basement in Seattle to pay for light rail.
maryjane farm
In other news, the spokesman for General Who Must Not Be Criticized is a whacko:
http://salon.com/opinion/green.....index.html
The UFO reporting center has moved? I won’t see Peter walking around Green Lake? We have fallen on hard times.
Don’t mock J.P. Patches!
Unless you either watched him growing up or had parents who did, you’re not really from these parts nor are you qualified to comment on what it means to live in or experience the true essence of “Seattle.”
In that sense, you’re all from California!
Want to solve the transportation crisis, erase the threat of global warming from the political landscape, and drop housing costs like a rock? Californians (regardless if you’re from PA, WI, NY, MA, NJ or wherever, you are, by local definition, a Californian) need to go back from whence they cometh carrying an 8X10″ glossy photo of Emmett Watson as a parting gift.
Their very presence in place not genetically theirs is an affront to those of us who’ve been living here since “back when.”
Newbies who wander in thinking they’ve got answers to questions nobody bothers to ask are put in place when they can’t claim to be a Patches’ Pal. Ditto membership in KING TV’s Club With Stan (Boreson), or a shipmate of Capt. Puget, or ridden in the locomotive with Brakeman Bill.
There may be some grace for those who never sat on the floor listening to a story told by Wunda Wunda, but the jury is still out on that one.
J.P. a/k/a Chris Wedes would probably no more smoke essentially his name than he would have shown porn on his show; he’s from the old school where setting an example mattered and that responsibility was taken seriously.
All you late-coming riff raff pack it up, move back to wherever it is you’re genetically supposed to live, and, while you’re at it, take the Sonics with you!
The Piper
#3
That was some scary shit. We are perilously close to a right wing dictatorial state. I just do not understand how Americans do not see it coming.
The irony is that this President, supposedly the right wings dream President, has set up the conditions for the scenario(jack booted thugs, black helicopters, totalitarianism) that organizations like the John Birch society and the NRA has warned us about for years when they talk about liberals.
Jesus H. Christ – I find myself agreeing with the Piper.
The source of the problem, and it’s not just the Pac NW, is Toooooooo Many People.
And Goldy, be very careful with J.P. He means a lot to some of us. (though technically J.P. came here from elsewhere too)
If you are interested in satirical chidren’s shows, check ‘Wallace and Ladmo’. They have a great website.
http://wallace-watchers.com/index.html
http://wallace-watchers.com/aftershow.html
“THE DEATH OF LADMO”
Clown-Tragedy, Piper, strikes us all.
Piper:
While you are probably right about JP, calling all of us Californians is fighting words.
When my kin got here, it was called Orygun Territory.
Now get off my lawn!
@8…HL…
Wallace and Ladmo! Yes!!! Pheonix! My sister was on their show plugging orange juice back in the late-50’s. In the early 60’s, Civil War Centennial time, they would make humorous home movies of mock battles. I think it was KPHO, in Pheonix.
The Piper
@10…JSA on BH…
If your people were here then, you can stay; you are not a Californian. Anyone who moved here after April, 1963 must leave.
Native Northwesterners only!
The Piper
@12
Does that go for Microsoft as well?
Piper,
Be careful what you wish for.
Of course, Goldy is from back East, and he (not you, nor I) set up this nice sandbox for us to throw stuff around in.
Having lived most of my life around mossy old Northwesterners, I put them in the same category as bourbon and prime rib. Good in small quantities, not so much as a staple.
All the people, all the money, etc. have been a mixed blessing. Yeah, things are stacked higher, it’s a lot more expensive, and the problems that come with living in a wide spot in the road have come in, but it’s also a lot of fun.
I’ll say this. If the Seattle that I grew up in was the Seattle that was here now, I wouldn’t be here now, and would be part of that diaspora that drifted off to LA, NYC, or one of those other nasty places full of smog and traffic. That was a world that was too slow, too insular, and waaaaay too small.
It’s nicer to be here. The hiking in NYC sucks.
@13…Lee…
On balance, an argument could be made in favor of just such a notion. After all, arent’ techies largely responsible for the glut of mega-homes and the ratcheting up of housing prices?
Given that so many ‘softies are truly Californian, doesn’t that make them suspect as a matter of course?
You really don’t know much about Emmett Watson, do you?
The Piper
I found it a little shocking to learn of Chris Wedes’ illness as an almost incidental comment in a photo caption in this morning’s paper. It may well be that he’d rather not have all of us making a big deal out of it. Regardless, I’ll certainly be saying a few prayers in his behalf.
Taking the Dobbsian anti-immigrant thing to its (il)logical conclusion, eh, Piper?
Actually, I think the Suquamish et al. have an even better case. You need to get the hell out of here just as much as I (PacNW immigrant class of 2001) do.
If we had legally grown and mass-marketed weed, we wouldn’t need to spend much of anything on roads and transit, because everyone would be sitting at home, puffing away and staring with great fascination at the walls.
@18…AF…
Tell you what…you do that! And distribute liberally (clever how that word works in this case)to the HA constituency for just the purposes you mention.
Come to think of it, however…would anything change? What you describe sounds a lot like what already happens.
But your point about Chris Wedes’ reticence to make it about him speaks to his character. Given the number of clown act-alikes in local politics and their self-promoting screeds (“I’m the consensus builder,” “I’m the most liberal,” “I look like you.”), they might take a cue from a real clown who, red nose and all, has more dignity in his pinky then the lot of those other goofs put together.
The Piper
@17…N in S…
2001? What part of California will you be returning to, and how soon will that be?
Write when you find work…
The Piper
@15
On balance, an argument could be made in favor of just such a notion. After all, arent’ techies largely responsible for the glut of mega-homes and the ratcheting up of housing prices?
Sounds like someone doesn’t have sufficient enthusiasm for market forces.
Given that so many ’softies are truly Californian, doesn’t that make them suspect as a matter of course?
I’m not sure what you mean by “truly Californian”, but all of those people you see on Microsoft campus with fantastic tans are not from California, they’re from India.
You really don’t know much about Emmett Watson, do you?
I don’t know who Emmett Watson is, and I care so little I’m not even going to Google it.
Piper @5,
Um… J.P. Patches is a clown. I think my photoshopped image falls well within that spirit. (A spirit, by the way, which brought us one of the greatest moments in television history… Chuckles the Clown’s funeral.)
@17…N in S…
2001? What part of California will you be returning to, and how soon will that be?
******************
I believe N in Seattle traces his/her roots to the east coast.
On the subject of growth, Microsoft’s relocation aside, it’s a mixed bag despite what our local leadership would have us believe. Good for government and business because of the higher revenues (and government in particular is no stranger to need), but for many others it’s not so clear. I noted our property taxes in a previous post – up 40% adjusted for inflation since 1998. Many other taxes and utility fees also up sharply. In return we see much higher density and traffic in our Green Lake neighborhoods – traffic growth along key north end arterials are competitive with the stock market – but very little in additional or improved services for all the additional dollars paid out. The advantage of time – we’ve been a long time – sharpens your perspective.
@21
I don’t know who Emmett Watson is, and I care so little I’m not even going to Google it.
***************
How long have you been here? Watson is an indelible part of Seattle’s history:
http://www.historylink.org/ess.....le_id=3274
@5:
Don’t mock J.P. Patches!
Holy shit! There is one thing in the entire universe that Pip and I can agree on!
And Goldy, if you didn’t grow up watching him like many of us did…you seriously need to knock that crap off, it’s offensive. The clown makeup does not give you the right to mock him. As far as I know, he’s never been in favor of killing other people’s children for his amusement or to make a political point. BushCo/GOP: mock away! J.P.: not a deserving target.
And you need to get thee to a Channel9 store and get some of the old J.P. videos, and watch to see just how subversive he could be. Much of the humor went right over the heads of us kiddies, but that was why we could count on family time watching J.P with our parents, who enjoyed the show as much as we did. If you mock J.P. it is certainly out of ignorance, and you are making a horse’s ass out of yourself.
@24
I moved here in 1997. Watson sounds like the kind of guy I would’ve really enjoyed knowing. And as always, I have no idea what the hell Crackpiper is talking about.
@21…Lee…
That you neither know nor care nor care to know anything about Emmett Watson means his spirit will reach out from the grave to smite you with his Lesser Seattle cudgle. In his wet dreams, Joel Connelly longs to be half as good as Watson’s grocery list.
For the purposes of this discussion, India is a part of California. Where do you think the term Californicate came from???
And Goldy…see what you’ve done? Touched a sensitive nerve among true locals who regard J.P. Patches as someone just lower than their parents since J.P. spent almost as much time raising them as did their parents!
With an attitude like yours, you would have been the target of not nice comments from Gertrude!
You can take all the election, Prop 1, national and international political crap, and assorted gedunk, wade it up, stick it in your pipe and smoke it. When it comes to J.P., you’re talking the really serious stuff!
Careful…Stan Boreson will sic No Mo on you!
The Piper
Clowns are fuckin scary. The blunt in his mouth might take some of the fright away.
Let’s not put JP on such a lofty pedestal that we risk giving him vertigo. It might be pointed out that for years, he had a sign next to his dressing room mirror at KIRO that said, “Beneath this makeup lies a horny old man”.
And, while we’re on this subject…SeattleJew, was that you sitting in front of Bob Newman at the “this-is-your-life” thing for JP at the MOHAI that was telecast on the Seattle Channel a little while ago?
@27
For the purposes of this discussion, India is a part of California. Where do you think the term Californicate came from???
Ah, an instant classic! I confuse Mumbai and Sacramento all the time.
30 It’s more common to see comparisons made between Mumbai and Los Angeles, and between Sacramento and hell.
Re: WALLACE AND LADMO SHOW
http://wallace-watchers.com/characterboffo.htm (Videos)
“My favorite guest character was BOFFO THE CLOWN. The idea of a negative, burned-out clown was funny, even to an eight year old.”
Piper, if you remember Wallace and Ladmo, you’ll love these videos.
yes, it’s a leaf…and opium is not a drug, it’s a flower.
Geeze
#33: Conflation Station!! Yaaay! And Oxycontin isn’t heroin, it’s Rush Limbaugh’s pain medication.
@30…Lee…
You aren’t getting this! In the Lesser Seattle lexicon, everywhere that’s not here is California…It was Watson’s way of engendering an immediate visceral dislike of all things foreign.
Get with the program by learning local history.
The Piper
The Stupid!! It burns!!!
http://salon.com/opinion/green.....index.html
@26
I moved here in 1997. Watson sounds like the kind of guy I would’ve really enjoyed knowing. And as always, I have no idea what the hell Crackpiper is talking about.
———————————–
Watson, of course, may have had a thing or two to say about some of the big projects on the board today:
“Watson’s favorite targets were the self-righteous guardians of public morality and “progress.” Playing on the name of an early group of tourism and growth boosters, Greater Seattle, Inc., he named himself press secretary of Lesser Seattle and delighted in skewering the business establishment’s grand schemes for development and “civic improvement.”
From the history link reference.
Seattle’s business establishment is a big backer of Prop 1, of course (among others).
@37…James…
Since you’re such a newbie, Watson wouldn’t have enjoyed knowing you. Instead, you are one of those against whom he railed; you personify what he meant by Californian.
Unless you could legitimately say you attended a Rainiers’ game in Sick’s Seattle Stadium, he wanted no part of you.
In fact, it’s not too great a stretch to say that his approach and that of the DAR were identical: if you couldn’t prove Seattle ancestry back when, you couldn’t be a member of Seattle now. Good bye!
Have I mentioned…he was a very grumpy man.
The Piper
38 It also should be noted that Watson had the utmost contempt for bluenoses and hypocrites, and his writing talents were such that even they enjoyed reading his excoriations of them.
Piper at 11:
Not once, but TWICE? P-H-O-E-N-I-X you have the first two vowels reversed.
That is all. I just was surprised to see that from you. You are usually very adept at spelling and sentence structure.
Ooh, are we playing “who’s roots go furthest back”? Can I play?
My great-great (maybe one more great) grandfather was the first circuit riding Methodist preacher in the Oregon Territory and at one time (according to family lore) owned a chunk of what is now downtown Portland (no, I didn’t get any benefit from that).
My mom’s family are relative newbies, settling near Pullman in the 1870s. Her grandmother walked across the country from St. Louis to Pullman. On her own two feet or as she said, “every goddamn step of the way.”
I watched J.P. Patches and Wunda Wunda and Brakeman Bill when I was a kid. Even attended the World’s Fair in Seattle, it was one of the very rare trips to Seattle from our home “north of there” in my childhood. Big whoop.
Emmett Watson was a heckofa writer…but wrong. You can’t hold back growth, you can only try to shape it. You wingnuts should know the saying, “grow or die.”
And Piper, you’re still a horse’s patoot.
Yes Piper, Watson was all of that.
My grandpa went to school with him back at dear old Franklin High. He was a grumpy, pompous, hard-to-like asshole teenager as well.
We can at least say he found his calling in life.
Speaking of famous columnists, I feel like using Flordian Dave Barry’s subtitles for the humor-impaired right now.
Without further ado:
We have no choice over either our place of birth, our race, or the status of the family we were born into. Getting into a pissing match over any of these is perfectly silly.
And Northwest newcomer Piper, get off my lawn, damnit!