I’m busy writing a real column in response to Tim Eyman’s latest fantasy in The Seattle P-I “I’m a lying, thieving, blowhard” (okay… I’m paraphrasing,) but I thought I’d take advantage of the creative freedom inherent in blogging, to jot down a few, unfiltered thoughts.

What a load of crap!

He writes 600 words on I-892 and never once bothers to tell readers that it LEGALIZES SLOT MACHINES!

Which is a pretty shrewd move on his part as poll after poll shows that voters are opposed to LEGALIZING SLOT MACHINES, and he clearly knows that if voters understand that I-892 LEGALIZES SLOT MACHINES, he’ll stand a better chance of winning at SLOT MACHINES than getting them approved at the ballot.

Of course it’s hard to blame the P-I’s editorial board for printing Eyman’s column, even though it’s ostensibly about an initiative that LEGALIZES SLOT MACHINES, while never once mentioning that it LEGALIZES SLOT MACHINES. After all, Tim is such a fine writer. I especially enjoy the way his essay follows the classic structure we all learned in high school English class:

1. Tell the readers an extended quote from Ghostbusters.
2. Tell them a bunch of lies.
3. Tell them what you said… while trashing Gary Locke.

Here are just a few of the lies the mainstream press won’t find the time to refute:

I-892 is NOT revenue-neutral! (See Lie of the Week: I-892 is revenue neutral? Not!)

I-892 can’t possibly reduce the property tax by $400 million. Eyman’s “conservative” estimate is pulled out of thin air. $400 million in tax savings would require over $4.6 billion in new wagering… a fanciful five-fold increase over 2003.

I-892 is NOT a tax-cut initiative… it’s about LEGALIZING SLOT MACHINES! Enough said.

So that’s the Lie of the Week. I apologize if it doesn’t meet my usual literary standards, but I couldn’t find my copy of Ghostbusters.