Is Rudy Giuliani the Max Bialystock of Politics?

Rudy Giuliani’s stunningly stupid “Florida Strategy” has been the subject of speculation and the butt of jokes for months — a strategic failure of historic proportions that has instantly become a classic case study in how not to run a presidential campaign. It is fitting that a man whose national profile was forged in disaster has run one of the most disastrous campaigns of all time, frittering away his apparent frontrunner status in only a matter of weeks.

But could Giuliani and his high-paid strategists really have been that stupid? Or, is it possible that the Florida Strategy has actually worked exactly as planned?

While the rest of the presidential field were trudging through the snows of Iowa and New Hampshire, trading rhinoviruses with voters in diners and VFW halls throughout the heartland, Giuliani and his team were leisurely soaking up the rays in sunny Florida, making a few appearances, playing a little golf, and all the while laying claim to the Sunshine State’s winner-take-all primary. While Romney, McCain and Huckabee were emptying their campaign coffers duking it out in Nevada and Michigan and South Carolina, Giuliani apparently spent his $50 million-plus campaign war chest on what…? Sunscreen and greens fees? Two percent of the vote, and a single national delegate? According to media reports the Giuliani campaign is so broke his top staffers have foregone their salaries, raising questions of how he could have spent so much money for such poor results? But perhaps the better question might be, did he actually spend the money at all?

Think about it. Giuliani may be arrogant and vindictive and ethically challenged, but nobody’s ever accused the man of being stupid, so perhaps he and his advisers knew all along that he didn’t stand a chance on the national stage once Americans really got to know him. But just because he couldn’t win the White House didn’t mean he couldn’t make a little scratch on the side, and taking a lesson from Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom in Mel Brooks’ legendary The Producers, perhaps Giuliani realized he could make a helluva lot more money from a presidential flop than he ever could from a respectable run?

How would the scam work? Simple. Raise tens of millions of dollars while you’re riding high in the national polls, but stay out of the expensive media wars in the early primaries to “focus on Florida.” Then when your Florida strategy inevitably fails, you bow out of the race, having spent all your cash on high-priced “consultants” for, well, who knows what? Once out of the national spotlight, Giuliani and his “consultants” just split the loot and fly off to Rio, just in time for Carnival.

Sure, Bialystock and Bloom are fictional characters, but then, in many ways, so is “America’s Mayor.” And while it may seem a fantastical fit of Truther-worthy paranoia to suggest that the entire Giuliani campaign was never anything more than an elaborate con, well… it’s as reasonable an explanation for Giuliani’s mind-numbingly idiotic Florida Strategy as anything else we’ve heard thus far.

Comments

  1. 1

    spews:

    Hey! Beats coming in third with under 20% all the time like John-Boy Edwards (G’night Hillary, g’night Barry, g’night #1 America, g’night #2 America…)

    And Goldy…haven’t you already used The Producers as an analogy already? Struggling for thread concepts? Does someone need to spring for a pie in and suggest one to you?

    The Piper

  2. 2

    spews:

    Piper Scott…
    WHAT THE FUCK? This is Goldy’s blog…not yours. He can use whatever analogy he wants to use as may times as he wants to use em. Dumb shit.

  3. 3

    Thomas Trainwinder spews:

    This analogy fails on three counts: 1) it’s not funny, 2) it doesn’t hold logically and 3) it’s basically non-sensical.

    Unfortuanately it undermines your other, more lucid, arguments.

  4. 4

    spews:

    @2…Darry…

    Hey! I’m just helping out in order to avoid people wondering if but what with all the repeating of himself he hasn’t gone off the deep end…Not that we don’t already know that, of course, but I think you get the picture.

    Besides…the paucity of your posts of late leave it up to a wingnut like me to fill in the gap!

    I’m only trying to save him from himself…

    The Piper

  5. 5

    Tlazolteotl spews:

    Raise tens of millions of dollars while you’re riding high in the national polls, but stay out of the expensive media wars in the early primaries to “focus on Florida.” Then when you’re Florida strategy inevitably fails, you bow out of the race, having spent all your cash on high-priced “consultants” for, well, who knows what?

    Remedial grammar for Goldy:

    you’re – contraction of ‘you are’
    your – second person possessive

    Usage in the first sentence is correct, but not in the second one. And yes, writing and editing are part of my job description.

    Signed,

    Tlazolteotl (your friendly grammar troll and part-time goddess)

  6. 7

    ArtFart spews:

    4 How the hell does anyone on the right have the cojones to cricize anyone else for repeating themselves after last night’s “State-of-the-union-rerun”?

  7. 8

    Rudy Tourettes spews:

    Let me 911! tell you all 911! about my 12 911! commitments 911! to the American 911! people:

    1. 911! I 911! will 911!
    2. 911!
    3. 911!
    4. 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! 911! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. 9

    dutch spews:

    Darryl, Darryl….what is going on.
    This is the fourth time in so many weeks that you just don’t get it. Goldy says something stupid (happens), someone “critizes him” (in a funny way)…you come back with something like: “This is Goldy’s blog….yadayadayada…” and then end it with the Shakespearian “Dumbfuck”. Boy, do you hump Goldy’s legs too ? Don’t you understand sarcasm ? (ok, that’s Goldy’s usual quote :-) )

    You do need a life

  9. 12

    Broadway Joe spews:

    Actually, I thought the original post was pretty damn funny. And Rudito Mussoweenie strikes me as the kind of asshole who really would do just that. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that’s exactly what happens. And if it does, Mel Brooks should sue Mussoweenie for copyright infringement.

  10. 14

    THE Puddybud The Prognosticator... spews:

    Darryl: Always in the perfesser mode? You have such a potty mouth.

    Well at least you were an early denier of headless lucy racial epithets!

  11. 16

    ByeByeGOP spews:

    Wow what a terrible showing for rompin Rudy. Now all the republiCONS are left with?

    A flip flopping, lying piece of shit mormon or an ancient, crazy flip floppin nut job.

    Dems by 15 points! No matter who we run!

  12. 17

    proud leftist spews:

    How does Hillary Clinton swamp McCain in Florida without a meaningful primary there for the Ds? If I’m a Republican, I think I’m going “yikes” about now. You folks are headed for the Smithsonian.

  13. 18

    I-Burn spews:

    @17 Y’all put the Hillarybeast up front as your candidate and it won’t matter which Republican she faces – she’ll lose BIG. I sincerely hope we get to find out.

    Frankly, I’m terrified that you dims are going to get lucky and nominate Obama. The guy is a lightweight, but he’s a personable, and charasmatic lightweight. He might even become presidential material one day. A lot of Republicans and Libertarians will stay home if he’s your guy. Sure as hell NOT, if there is any chance of a Clinton getting elected president.

  14. 19

    Torture is a Republican value spews:

    It’s not only Piper and Puddy who support Bush’s use of torture. the fucking attorney general of the United States has no problem with it. Those Republican values are really something.

    “WASHINGTON — Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey said Tuesday that the harsh C.I.A. interrogation technique known as waterboarding was not clearly illegal, and suggested that it could be used against terrorism suspects (SUSPECTED, not convicted)once again if requested by the White House.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01.....ce.html?hp

  15. 20

    DrSteveB spews:

    Regarding the Rudy as Bialystak joke… actually as no joke I have been wondering where the Ron Paul money is really going. Lots of money. No expenditures. Longtime ties to and backed by old right racist antigovernment movment..? Inquiring minds want to know where his money is 12 months from now?

  16. 23

    Mooser spews:

    I’ve been noticing the Producers angle, too. To me, it seemed to apply to the whole Republican field. Each one, having a rough idea of what state the Union is in, is deathly afraid they will get the job. They vie with each other to say the most reprehensible things they can think of, stuff they’re sure will get them ejected, if not confined. But the crowds love it!
    And soon the only thing left to do is blow up the place.