When I was looking for stuff to write about, I came across this press release about Inslee’s budget by Representative Bruce Chandler. I don’t think I can improve on it’s terribleness, except to say that people vote for him. Like actual humans in Washington see his name on a ballot every two years since 2008 and mark the little circle.
“The governor is required to introduce his ideas for state spending before the Legislature convenes each year. We thank Governor Inslee for his proposal and for his staff’s efforts in providing a starting point from which the Legislature can begin its work.
So far, fine. Let’s follow it up with the dumbest paragraph ever written.
“At first glance, we’re pleased to see emergency money allocated for fire suppression efforts across the state. While we may not agree on the cause of this year’s horrendous forest fires, we certainly agree on the need to allocate adequate resources to fire suppression now, and in the future we believe there is ample opportunity to restore forest health and develop more effective state and local fire response strategies.
Sometimes when you do a metacommentary piece, you have to leave jokes on the table. Here are some things I left out because if I went in depth on them, I’d never finish writing this:
- If you’ve taken the time to write 8 paragraphs, it’s not first glance.
- There’s no mention of how he wants to pay for the fire suppression stuff.
- That monster second sentence could be, like, 3 sentences.
- Is “we” the whole GOP Caucus? It sort of sounds like that from future paragraphs, but it’s never explicitly stated.
OK. With that out of the way: As far as I can tell “we may not agree on the cause of this year’s horrendous forest fires,” is Representative Chandler’s way of saying he doesn’t believe humans caused global warming. Or possibly he doesn’t think global warming is even a thing? Look, on the one hand, you have Governor Inslee’s side: Basically all the scientists that study the issue, and the fact of the actual forest season that we’re actually talking about. On the other side, you have Representative Chandler: Nu huh.
Seriously, global warming is real. It did contribute to the fire season being bad. It will contribute to future bad fire seasons.
“We agree with the governor that a supplemental budget year is not the time for substantial policy changes that balloon state spending down the road. The 2015-17 biennial budget was signed into law less than six months ago. Significant policy additions – outside of emergency caseload adjustments – are better suited for the deliberation and scrutiny of a 105-day session during budget-writing years.
Fine whatever. Although I’d prefer yearly budgets, that’s not the process.
“However, in his proposal for additional policy changes, we find it disappointing that Governor Inslee has decided to trot out four tax increases we’ve all seen before. These tax increases have either been rejected by voters in the past, like the tax on bottled water, or already reviewed by the Joint Legislative Audit and Review Committee. The Legislature had ample opportunity to impose these new tax increases over the last few years, but after citizen input and careful scrutiny, chose not to. If the governor felt it was an emergency to add further growth to state government, the public would be better served by innovation and new ideas rather than a continuation of failed efforts of taking more from taxpayers.
Innovation and new ideas? Look, if you could just innovate greater revenue, people would have already done it. Why does Governor Inslee propose minor tax increases when he hasn’t even tried magic?
“We’re also disappointed that Governor Inslee failed to make a strong commitment to public charter schools in our state. During today’s press conference, he had the opportunity to lend his support to bipartisan legislative efforts to ensure all students and parents of our state are served equally. Legislators will invest precious time and political capital in crafting a solution to our state’s voter-approved public charter school system. However, without the engagement of our governor in those efforts, the solution will be more difficult.
Charter schools were ruled unconstitutional. What possible commitment could you make to them if you swore to uphold the state constitution? Gaaah.
In any event, given the McCleary decision, I’d think it would probably make sense to include something about public school funding more generally in this press release if it’s going to have an education section. But no. Just take us home a no-transitions-needed ending.
“We look forward to further discussions with the governor and the other caucuses to arrive at timely, common sense solutions so that the 2016 session can end on time.”
Is ending the session on time really the highest priority? I would think making some situation where you aren’t in contempt of court for shortchanging education would at least get a mention. Oh well.