“Initiative” initiative, no initiative at all

Oh… so now I get Tim Eyman’s patently stupid “initiative” initiative. (It’s true, Tim actually has a patent on “Stupid Initiatives”: US Patent No. 6,479,010.)

It was just a publicity stunt.

At a press conference today in the Secretary of State’s office, crotchety government-hating senators Pam Roach and Don Benton joined Tim as he filed his latest unconstitutional initiative. But it was all really just a subterfuge to get media into the room to witness them being the first to sign Tim’s floundering Initiative 900.

I-900 would finally enact performance audits… six months after they are enacted by the Legislature. But I-900’s total lack of political relevance is far from its weakest point; it is complicated, confusing, and unlike his successful campaigns, doesn’t put a penny back into voters’ pockets. Like 2003’s dismal I-807, this is a policy-wonk issue that will have trouble riling even his most loyal sycophants… an ever shrinking core group of supporters who have proven incapable of raising half the money Tim needs to qualify an initiative for the ballot.

So clearly, today’s initiative filing is just a load of hooey, much like the 776-Lite initiative he filed in February of 2003 in a desperate attempt to generate news coverage for his doomed I-807. Without a sugar daddy like the gambling industry, Tim is incapable of qualifying a single initiative for the ballot, let alone two. And just like two years ago, he has no intention of gathering signatures for this calculated farce.

The ploy may work, and Eyman may generate some news coverage from today’s events. But just a word of caution to my friends in the media: I do so enjoy I-told-you-so’s, and I intend to tell-you-so when this phantom initiative campaign fails to materialize.


  1. 1

    Richard Pope spews:

    Goldy, I think you got Tim Eyman’s patent number wrong. I looked out Patent No. 6,479,010. It was issued by the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office on November 12, 2002 to Angela Golovoy and Kurtis Zetouna, who assigned it to their employer, Visteon Global Technologies, Inc. of Dearborn, Michigan. This patent involves “Method of blow molding an article having blow molded vertical reinforcement ribs”.


    At least you got the subject matter of the patent correct. Patent 6,479,010 does involve blow hards and other variations of the word “blow”, just like Tim Eyman. :)

  2. 3

    Josef the Dinocrat spews:

    I have simple advice for LIE-man: Call Dick Cheney and borrow a F-117A. Maybe then Surface-to-Air-Missile Reed can try to shoot it down… :-)

  3. 4

    reggie spews:

    someone needs to buy a big bra and put this boob in it for good.

    He must not be selling enough trinkets to keep up his lifestyle. gotta fleece the people for some more “spondoolicks” i mean campaign helper funds.

  4. 5

    David spews:

    Yeah, it’s a patent for molded plastic auto bumpers. C’mon, Goldy, you can do better; there are lots of stupid patents out there:

    Smoking more and enjoying it less? Perhaps what you need is a flavorful cheese-filtered cigarette!

    “Method of exercising a cat” by waving a laser pointer light around and having it chase the dot. (see? you can patent just about anything, if the patent examiner is stupid too.)

    Device to let you smell your own bad breath.

    Life expectancy watch that counts down to the wearer’s impending doom. (what’s the life expectancy of Eyman’s political career?)

    An articulated coffin that inclines ” for display of a deceased person in a natural position.” (use after the life expectancy watch hits 0.)

    and my favorite patent for Tim:
    Apparatus for kicking the user’s own ass.

  5. 6

    Goldy spews:

    David… I guess I should spend more time browsing the patent database, and less time covering state politics. Very funny.