I didn’t pay much attention when Seattle cartoonist Molly Norris’s suggestion of “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” took off and became an Internet phenomenon, because I’m not a cartoonist, and frankly, the whole Muhammad cartoon thing was so 2006. That is, I didn’t pay much attention until yesterday, when Norris’s lark apparently earned her a spot on an Islamist terrorist hit list.
And so, as a staunch defender of free speech, no matter how inappropriate or offensive, I feel it is my duty to stand with Norris by posting a Muhammad cartoon of my own. And I urge all small “d” democrats to stand with me too. I mean, what are they going to do… kill us all?
Now granted, I’m not much of a graphic artist, but I did the best I could. And while I have no idea what Muhammad looks like, I know it’s hot in the desert, so for the sake of realism I’ve drawn him enjoying a cold, fizzy beverage. I’m guessing, seltzer. And it’s very refreshing. That’s why Muhammad is smiling.
Oh, and that dog in the picture, I know Muslims think dogs are unclean or something, so I want to be absolutely clear that this is not Muhammad’s dog. It’s just some dirty street mongrel that keeps following Muhammad around, trying to grab his seltzer, which might explain why he’s not too keen on dogs. In fact, had I drawn him feet, Muhammad would probably kick the dog. But I like dogs, so I didn’t. (I just thought I’d explain the whole dog thing, so that you wouldn’t think I’m being culturally insensitive.)
Anyway, the point is, it’s just a fucking cartoon for chrisakes, so Anwar al-Awlaki should just get a life. And, just to prove that I’m an equal opportunity blasphemer, and have nothing in particular against Islam, here’s a cartoon of Jesus drinking a Slurpee™:
And yes, I drew Jesus with feet, because he strikes me as the kinda guy who probably liked dogs.
I’d be offended but only because of the scraggly hipster beard you gave Jesus.
the nazis used to have draw a jew day. big noses , crooked eys and dirty beards. funny to see goldstein is not much different than a nazi.
Twenty-one first person references. Is cartoon about the Prophet, or a statement of the blogger’s self-absorption?
manoftruth – FAIL. The Jews never threatened to kill Germans. It was the Germans who initiated flagrant anti-semitism. read up some history dude.
joel @4,
I guess if I was really self-absorbed, I’d draw a picture of myself, just to elevate me to the same level as Muhammad and Jesus. Hmm… that’s not a bad idea. Thanks for the inspiration.
The Islamic prohibition is about worship of images and objects. Putting so much importance on the actions of others would be a violation of the intent of the guidance.
“I mean, what are they going to do… kill us all?”
No problem. Just reproduce like rabbits, and there’ll be too many of you.
Who is the upside down faint guy in the second picture???
funny, if any media outlet (and this would never happen of course, just hypothetical), had any “something” jewish day, it would be hate speech.
TT @8,
That was my first draft of Muhammad bleeding through from the other side. (I didn’t like his hat.) You didn’t really think I would waste a fresh piece of paper on my “artwork”…?
manofshit @9,
Even if I were to grant you your premise, it still wouldn’t warrant an execution.
Fucking hilarious.
5. Goldy spews:
Drawing a picture of an a$$hole would probably hurt your already sluggish ratings.
joel @3,
The way I read it, using first-person in this post is appropriate grammar. It would be pretty silly if Goldy wrote it in second or third person. If he had used third-person in the post, someone might criticize him for sounding like the Queen of England.
To be fair, shouldn’t you also draw Moses or Abraham or some other figure from the Torah revered by Jews? Moses could maybe be holding some commandments or Abraham the knife he was juuuust about to use to sacrifice his child with.
I agree with the principle that nearly all speech should be free from prior restraint.
But I find myself puzzled by “And yes, I drew Jesus with feet, because he strikes me as the kinda guy who probably liked dogs.” Maybe I’m being hopelessly naive, but this reference escapes me.
Re 14
Joel wasn’t quibbling about the use of the first person, merely what he saw as excessive use of it.
Mohammed: “Be you the mean hombre that’s a-hankerin’ for a heap of trouble, stranger? Well, be ya?”
Goldy: “I be.”
Mohammed: “Ya better say yer prayers, ya flea-bitten varmint, I’m a-gonna blow ya to smithereenies! Now I’m a-givin’ you one second to draw a gun.”
Goldy: [Takes out pencil and paper and draws a picture of a gun] “How’s that, chunky?”
16 lost
I was too at first. Read up and you’ll find that he left Mohammed without feet because he didn’t like the dog.
Hmmmm….Goldy writes a blog post about somthing he did, and a commenter takes him to task for making references to himself.
I would say that it says far more about…
(a) our trolls’ obsession with attacking Goldy personally
and
(b) the near-absolute lack of content in their “arguments,” if I may be fairly generous with that term
…than it does anything at all about Goldy. Hey, I mis-typed “Goldy” as “Godly” and almost left it that way.
And that’s clearly a beer that Mohammed is drinking…
Daddy Love @20,
It’s not a beer, it’s a seltzer. And it’s one of the many things that Muhammad and I have in common.
I might have to whip out a drawing of The Big M drinking a beer and eating some bacon.
@14, sable spewed:
Or Pudpuller.
@3, Your Corpulence, joel connelly:
Really joel?
I mean this is a blog. Goldy told us about something HE did — in 1st person.
What total chickenshit!
You know what I think?
I think you’re jealous because people actually read Goldy’s shit. It’s insightful, enlightening, often funny, and makes a difference in the world.
Unlike, you know, what you do.
@23
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Exactly!
Teetotalers are dangerous people. Two come to mind right off the bat–Osama bin Laden and George Bush. If bin Laden had permitted himself to kick back with a brew now and then, 9/11 never would have happened. Same with Bush–if he had permitted himself to mellow out with a glass of pinot noir now and again, he wouldn’t have launched two unnecessary wars. Oh, and then there’s Glenn Beck . . .
Joel Connelly at #3: you need a sense of humor transplant (you wouldn’t be the donor) or surgery to remove the lumber from your formidable ass.
How did you stay so pompous after that rag folded and demoted you to benefits-only blogger?
Hey Joel @3:
How come you got the time to count first person references in blogs? Wish I had that kind of time- I’d count your chins…
Shouldn’t we all be free to express ourselves without fear of death? It’s one thing to be socially outcast due to an unpopular belief, but execution? Sorry but any liberals defending Muslims on this are out to lunch.
1. @29: Just who are these “liberals”? Name one.
2. “It’s one thing to be socially outcast due to an unpopular belief, but execution?”
Well, we do it (al-Alwaki). Where does that leave us?
Without question, this is the only thing worth reading you’ve ever submitted.
@30 – whoever the USA executes deserves it for being a criminal or terrorist. We don’t kill people for just disagreeing or offending us.
Molly Norris’s situation proves there is no apologizing to the psychopaths who make up the ranks of al-Qaeda and similar groups who idol-worship Mohammed. She didn’t even DRAW Mohammed (may peas be upon him), and she did everything in her power to disavow “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day” and to apologize for her small role in getting the whole mess started. Yet, the psychopaths who idol-worship Mohammed still want her dead. Appeasement clearly doesn’t work.
I did pay attention when she made her first cartoon, and I posted quite a bit about the whole matter during the weeks leading up to May 20, I also drew some Mo-toons of my own, as well as posted a dozen or more from other (more talented) artists. And I’ll keep posting, because I don’t appreciate fascists and psychotics issuing death threats against writers and artists whose expressions they don’t like.
On that note, you can find links to MY Mo-toons here and here.
32
The fact that we kill anyone makes us an immature, violent nation. I have never understood how those who call themselves “prolife” support capital punishment. We can argue about when life begins. We cannot argue about whether killing a breathing, talking, sentient human being is, indeed, killing. We are not a civilized, Christian nation if we condone capital punishment. Period. Do you really think Jesus Christ would administer a lethal injection?
And the whole injunction against the image of the Prophet Mohammed is actually only limited to one of the major sects. IIRC, the Shi’a and possibly the Sufi sects of Islam have no real problem with the image of the Prophet being displayed, whereas Sunni (or more specifically, the ultraconservative Salafi and Wahhabi, the ones largely responsible for Islamist terror groups around the world – natch) does.
As disagreeable as I find Goldy’s description of dogs:
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Very funny. It’s really too bad that Muslims see dogs as unclean, because I’ve sure the dog is just looking for some companionship.
@3; I’d count how many (e)s were in the piece for you but I have better things to do with my time.
I believe this qualifies you for honorary membership to the Cartoonists League of Absurd Washingtonians (The CLAW). also ha!
I don’t have very much in common with Muhammad. But I would agree with him (Him?) that there is nothing in this world that is as refreshing as a cold seltzer on a hot day.